


Stay By Your Side

by BarnaboysWilloughby (SheriffsLop)



Series: The Momma! Jane and Poppa! Tim AU !! [3]
Category: The Willoughbys, The Willoughbys (2020)
Genre: Acceptance, Adoption, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholic Tim Willoughby, BAMF Jane Willoughby, Beauty Pageants, Body Dysmorphia, Bullying, Christmas Again, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family fun, Family struggle, Finding Our You're Not Alone, Found Family, Gen, Grownup Willoughbys, Healing, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, Making Friends, Medical Trauma, Multi, Next Generation, Other, Overcoming Trauma, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Life Partners, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Relapse, School, School Drama, Self Esteem Issues, Sobriety, Struggle, Terminal Illnesses, The Momma! Jane and Poppa! Tim AU !!, Tim and Jane Fight, Transgender, Transgender Characters, Transgender Issues, Transphobia, Vacation, Waterpark, Winter, journey to sobriety, parenting, platonic coparenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 106,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26909785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheriffsLop/pseuds/BarnaboysWilloughby
Relationships: Barnaby A./Original Female Character, Barnaby B./Original Female Character, Nanny/Commander Melanoff, The Willoughby Siblings, Tim & Jane, Tim Willoughby/Original Female Character (Past)
Series: The Momma! Jane and Poppa! Tim AU !! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961206
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	1. A New Eternity

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕆𝕟𝕖 :

𝔸 ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝔼𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪

◟ ◞

Taffeta sat in the living room with her best friends in the entire world, Felix and Anya, as she attempted to braid Felix’s hair.

“You have real pretty hair, Felix !!” Anya exclaimed. “I love that you let it grow out really long, like girl hair. It’s like you’re a boy princess !!”

Felix sniffed before he itched his nose and looked at the doll he had in his lap. He stroked the doll’s hair and examined her makeup, before he touched his own face.

“I wish I could be a girl princess,” he sighed. “Then maybe I could look like Dolly.”

“Ugh !!” Taffeta groaned. “My momma taught me how to braid hair just last week !! I always forget if I’m supposed to go under and over or over and under. It’s a bunch of instructions and I get confused.”

There was a knock on the door, and Jane came from the kitchen to answer it. She dusted her hands off on Tim’s apron. She wanted to surprise him when he came home from work, so she made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob – his favorite meal.

“Oh, Felix, Anya, your parents are here !!” Jane called.

“That’s right, we got school tomorrow !!” Anya exclaimed. “I’m just so happy that we’re all in Miss Yamaguchi’s class – she has a funny last name.”

“It’s Japanese, Anya,” Felix reminded. “My mom said that it’s very rude to say that someone last name sounds funny. Miss Yamaguchi might be a nice lady, and it’s not very nice to make fun of her.”

“My daddy said it’s funny,” Anya insisted. “But I’m just excited to show you guys my new backpack !! It has unicorns and rainbows on it !!”

“Do you think I’ll get made fun of if my backpack has princesses on it ?” Felix asked. “I know that princesses are for girls, and my mom said that it was okay, but sometimes . . . I feel like I’ll look silly because I like girl things.”

“If someone makes fun of them, I’ll punch them in their dumb face !!” Anya exclaimed. “I don’t know if Taffeta could help, because she falls over a lot, but if you didn’t fall over a lot, you would help us – right, Taff ?”

Taffeta strained and squealed as she braced her legs to help her up. She finally stood up with a relieved sigh, as she wobbled to keep balance.

“Yeah, of course I would,” Taffeta agreed. “My momma said that ladies don’t start fights, but we can sure finish them !!”

Felix and Anya went to the door. Anya was lifted onto Randy’s shoulders, and Felix held Celeste’s hand, as they walked off the porch.

“Bye guys,” Jane called. “I hope we’re still on for dinner this Saturday.”

“In celebration of the kids’ first week at school !!” Bea called back. “I’ve already ordered a cake !!”

Taffeta climbed onto the couch to look out the window. She stared at all the passing cars, in hopes that she would soon see Tim pull into the driveway from one of his meetings she was too young to know about.

“When’s poppa gonna get home from work ?” Taffeta asked.

“Hopefully soon, Taff,” Jane answered. “I made his favorite meal, and I’d hate for it to get cold before he gets here. Cold meatloaf isn’t really appetizing.”

“And it stinks too !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “It smells like sweaty feet !!”

Taffeta jumped as both Smokey and Grandpa joined her in her scoping session, as they waited for Tim to come back home too. Taffeta pulled both cats into a hug as she saw the headlights pull into the driveway.

“Poppa’s home !!” she exclaimed.

Taffeta turned to try and get off the couch before her legs buckled under her and she fell over.

Jane ran to grab her before she hit the floor and picked her up.

This was a normal occurrence in the house, and Tim pushed for Taffeta to see a doctor about it, because the amount she fell over, and the waddling way she walked couldn’t have been normal. Jane, however, was nervous to go in and discover that Taffeta had some sort of disease that would impact her life in a huge way, yet she still understood that they needed to know why she was doing it so much. If Taffeta needed accommodations at school, they couldn’t deprive her of that. It would be wrong, no matter how scared Jane was to find out that Taffeta had problems that Jane couldn’t simply take away from her.

Jane opened the front door as Taffeta waved to Tim, who got out of his station wagon.

“Hi poppa !!” she called from the door. “Did work go well ? You worked late again tonight !!”

Tim smiled when he saw Jane and Taffeta at the door. There was good news about today, his five years sober chip finally came in, even though he was truly awarded five years of sobriety from when he binged at A.’s wedding, but he couldn’t say anything until later. He got his briefcase from the backseat of the car, before he went up the steps to greet his sister and their daughter. He pinched Taffeta’s cheek before he planted a soft peck on Jane’s forehead – which was a norm for them now. It wasn’t a romantic thing, but the fact that they’re so familiar with eachother, that snuggles, hugs, and cheek / forehead kisses weren’t weird anymore, at least to eachother – they still got all the jokes they could from the twins.

“Work was pretty good,” Tim answered. “The day was a little slow, but I can’t complain. Hey lima bean, I think we should call Uncle A. and Auntie Patience tonight. Uncle A. said that Maddie is pretty nervous to go to preschool, and you’ve already been there, done that.”

Maddie was A. and Patience’s daughter. She was a surprise baby that was more than likely conceived on the Fourth of July. With as much panic A. experienced throughout Patience’s entire pregnancy, he actually ended up being an amazing dad too. Maddie was attached to his hip, and it seemed regardless of where he went, she was always with him ( which he claimed was sweet, all the way until she was peeking under the bathroom door and continuously asked him what he was doing ). Patience doted on her endlessly, and it seemed like that kid was always in a new dress, that she would immediately get dirty.

“I can talk to her,” Taffeta agreed. “Preschool is a little scary the first day, but if she’s going to the same preschool that I went to, she’ll love Missus Collins – every time we did a good job as a class, Missus Collins would put a handful of marbles into the jar, we got to choose what to do that day, whether it be a root beer float party, or get thirty minutes extra of recess.”

“She actually did get Missus Collins,” Tim reassured. “Maybe if you tell Maddie about Missus Collins’ marble parties, she might be more excited to go to preschool.”

“You should be excited right now, poppa !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Momma just made meatloaf – your favorite, and maybe we can have root beer floats for dessert !!”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Tim agreed. “Hey, why don’t you go and wash your hands before we eat, so you don’t get germs in your food ?”

Jane allowed Taffeta to climb down, before she hobbled to the bathroom to wash her hands. She drown out the sound of the adults talking over the sound of the water rushing and that she sang the alphabet to make sure her hands were completely washed before she sat down for dinner.

“So, how many times did it happen today ?” Tim asked.

“Did what happen ?” Jane avoided.

“You know what I’m talking about, Jane,” Tim said. “We can’t just ignore this whole tripping and falling thing forever. What if Taffeta gets on the playground at school and she trips down the stairs or falls off a high place and hurts herself, or even worse ?”

“I’ve been meaning to schedule an appointment,” Jane lied. “It’s just been really busy down at the shop. You know, there’s a high demand for wedding dresses. The fall is when a lot of people get married !!”

“Jane, I know you aren’t stacked up with Willow’s job anymore since Clementine took over that job,” Tim insisted. “I’m going to make an appointment for her tomorrow morning, so then we won’t have any excuses as to why we haven’t assessed Taffeta’s health. We can’t keep putting it off anymore.”

Jane sighed and leaned onto her brother, before she nodded.

“I know . . .” she agreed. “I’m just nervous that it’s going to . . . I want her to live like other kids. I don’t want her to get picked on or made fun of because she’s in a wheelchair or something.”

“Would you rather her go her entire life with something that could be treated ?” Tim asked.

“No,” Jane answered. “I guess not.”

“See, if we can treat it, what’s the use of putting it off ?” Tim asked.

“Momma, poppa, I’m done !!” Taffeta called from the bathroom. “Now let’s eat, I’m starving !! I haven’t eated since the last time I eated !!”

“Ate, Taffeta,” Tim corrected. “You haven’t ate since the last time you ate.”

“Numbers get used like that too ?” she asked.

“It’s not a number, it’s a – nevermind,” Tim stopped himself. “I also haven’t eated since the last time I eated.”

Jane went to the kitchen to start making plates for everyone, while Tim started to set the table, before he allowed Taffeta to help by setting out the napkins and silverware. She even got her own cup of juice to drink for dinner. Once everyone was served, Taffeta struggled to get up into her chair before she moved forward and she sat down.

“So, Taff, how was your day today ?” Tim asked.

“It was good, since I got to stay home all day with momma, and we watched one of our shows,” Taffeta started. “We watched ‘Keepin’ It Real : Portland’, and jeez that Miss Helen Chen is a mean lady !!”

“You watched ahead of me ?” Tim asked.

“You weren’t home !!” Jane defended. “But I still recorded it if it makes you feel any better !!”

“It’s not the same !!” Tim exclaimed.

He shook his head and sighed, before he continued to eat.

“Anyways, Taff, what were you saying ?” he said.

“Then Felix and Anya came over for a playdate and we all played princesses. Felix played a princess named Phoebe, and she was a tree fairy princess, Anya played as princess Anya, and she was a sparkle princess with the power to talk to unicorns, and I played a rock and roll princess, with the power to play the guitar really well,” she continued. “I want a guitar for Christmas.”

“Noted,” Tim agreed. “Did anything else happen today ?”

“You forgot to tell him the best part of today,” Jane claimed.

“Oh, and momma and me found a kitty outside !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “He’s really fat !!”

Tim glared at Jane, as she still maintained the habit of finding an animal outside and bringing them inside, even though they already have two cats. Eventually they find a good home for the animals, or a rescue sanctuary that would take in the more wild ones like raccoons, but that would be after a lot of convincing from Tim to Jane. She would make their house a zoo if she could.

“Did you guys bring the outside kitty inside ?” Tim asked.

“Yes !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “And momma said I can keep him !!”

Jane smiled at him and batted her eyelashes.

“You’re not going to tell her ‘no’, are you, poppa ?” Jane asked.

Tim looked at both Jane and Taffeta, as they widened their eyes and batted those dastardly eyelashes at him. He knew that he was sucked in too far now, because once they batted their eyelashes, it was game over. He couldn’t possibly tell them ‘no’, at this point without Taffeta crying, and he hated when she would cry. Maybe it was unhealthy to allow her to get away with whining her way out of things so much, but for cosmos sake, could you blame him ?

“Fine, but no more cats,” he said. “I think three is enough.”

“Yay !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Did you hear that, momma ? We get another kitty !!”

“And then in six months, we can get another kitty !!” Jane squealed.

“Why don’t we get a dog next ?” Tim asked. “With Smokey, Grandpa, and this other cat –“

“His name is Mortimer !!” Taffeta declared. “A three syllable name for a good kitty !!”

“Okay, with Smokey, Grandpa, and Mortimer, we have enough cats,” Tim explained. “I would love to have a dog – I’ve always wanted one since Queen took Milady in the divorce.”

“Are you going to get another Japanese Chin ?” Jane asked.

“I’d want a bigger dog, honestly,” he claimed. “Maybe a good dog to watch the house while we’re gone.”

“He’s not sleeping in the bed,” Jane commented. “We don’t have enough room, because we have Smokey, Grandpa, and when Taffeta has nightmares –“

“I’m not going to get nightmares anymore, momma,” Taffeta insisted. “I’m a big girl now. Kindergarteners don’t get nightmares.”

“Oh, okay, I see,” Jane agreed. “Well, you know if you do get them, our bed is always open.”

“Poppa snores when he’s really tired,” Taffeta pointed out. “And momma, you look scary when you sleep. I think I’d have more nightmares going to bed in your room, than I would in my own room.”

Jane nodded and bit her lips together. Sometimes their daughter did have a lot of unintentional sass, but she was the product of Jane’s ‘take – no – shit’ attitude, and Tim’s dry wit, so she knew she couldn’t get too upset over it. It was just a sick burn when it’s directed at you.

“Well, I for once think your momma’s pretty when she sleeps,” Tim complimented.

“Oh, now you’re just milking it,” Jane claimed.

“You say momma is pretty because she sleeps because it’s the only time she’s not complaining,” Taffeta claimed. “It’s true, momma. He said it.”

“There it is,” Jane claimed.

“Would some grown – up time later make up for it ?” Tim asked.

“Anya says that ‘grown – up time’ is when mommies and daddies wrestle, is that true ?” Taffeta asked.

Jane furrowed her eyebrows and looked to Tim. She forgot how awkward ‘the talk’ was going to be, especially with the fact that she, herself, hadn’t done anything the truly pertained to ‘the birds and the bees’. She felt like she was the least qualified to answer the question, so she nodded at Tim to hand the question off to him.

He shook his head, to reassure Jane that Taffeta was indeed five, therefore, far too young to understand, and definitely far too young to have ‘the talk’.

“Some do,” he answered. “But not all mommies and daddies wrestle. Some like to watch boring adult movies, or pay their bills – our grown – up time is very, very boring, which is why we want you in bed by eight thirty sharp. We can’t bore you to death.”

“To death ?” Taffeta asked. “Like when you have to go to the driver’s license place – people die because they’re so bored ?”

“Yup !!” Jane agreed. “It’s like a graveyard in there.”

Taffeta yanked Tim’s hand away from his plate and held it close to her face. Her lip pouted and she batted her eyelashes at him for the second time that night.

“Don’t ever go back to the driver’s license place, poppa !!” she begged. “I don’t want you to die !!”

Tim looked at Jane and rolled his eyes, before he sighed and rustled Taffeta’s hair.

“Not all the adults die, lima bean,” Tim lied. “I’m immune to boredom, so therefore, I can’t die of boredom. I actually like to do boring things sometimes, because sometimes, doing the boring things makes your momma happy.”

“Like how Uncle A. does the boring things for Auntie Patience ?” Taffeta asked. “Or like how Uncle B. does boring things for Miss Sabrina, even thought they’re not mommies or daddies ?”

“All grown – ups have to do boring things sometimes,” Jane explained. “Even kids have to do boring things sometimes, but the thing is, you have to have a very strong mind to get through the boring things, and you do have a strong mind, Taff.”

“I don’t think Anya’s brothers do,” Taffeta claimed. “Sometimes Hamish does crazy things when he doesn’t take his medicine, like run up and down the stairs or jump in his chair.”

“Well, Hamish has a thing called A.D.H.D,” Jane explained. “Sometimes it’s very hard for him to focus and get things done, so that’s why he takes his medicine. It helps him be able to sit still and understand things better, or else his brain goes all crazy, because he can’t focus on other things.”

“Speaking of things, are you finished eating, so you can call Maddie before she has to go to bed ?” Tim asked.

“Oh yeah !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Let me go put my plate in the sink while you call her, poppa.”

“Good job, Taff,” Jane encouraged.

She got up from the table and took hers and Tim’s plates to the sink, before she rinsed them off and ran water for her to wash the dishes in before she put them in the dishwasher.

Tim dialed up A. before he explained that Taffeta wanted to talk to Maddie before Maddie went to bed, before he handed the phone off to Taffeta.

“Hi Maddie !!” Taffeta greeted. “So, are you excited for preschool tomorrow ?”

Tim got up from the table, to let Taffeta have her conversation with her cousin, since he knew that she deserved privacy ( What would a four and five year old have to talk about that’s so wrong anyways ? Taffeta and Maddie both think that ‘stupid’ is a bad word, and the grossest thing adults do is kiss. ) before he went to the kitchen and leaned onto the counter while Jane washed the dishes.

“So, how do you think tomorrow’s going to go ?” he asked.

“What do you mean ?” she asked.

“Our daughter’s going to kindergarten !!” Tim exclaimed. “She’s growing up before our eyes !! Soon she’s going to be graduating from Harvard or Princeton, and the time will have gone by so fast !! It seems like just yesterday that I was holding that little lima bean in a blanket and soothing her after her own burps would scare her.”

“I know,” Jane sighed. “And the fact she doesn’t want to snuggle with us anymore ? I never thought I would need baby snuggles more than I do right now !!”

“Changed your mind about having more ?” he asked.

“No, I’m not quite there,” Jane confirmed.

“Yet ?”

“At all.”

Jane began to load the dishes into the dishwasher, before she turned to Tim.

“I think, no matter how empty nested I feel, I’m okay where I’m at when it comes to kids,” Jane confirmed.

Tim jumped at the feeling of something, or rather someone, as they brushed up against his lag. Orange fur. Grandpa was brown and grey, Smokey was blue and grey, but he knew they didn’t have an orange furred cat.

“Oh, that’s Mortimer,” Jane introduced.

“Are you sure Mortimer isn’t someone else’s cat ?” he asked. “Boy, is he fat for a stray !!”

“Oh, leave him alone,” Jane scolded. “I’m sure he’s just a great hunter. He caught that mouse that’s been giving us problems, then I had to tell Taff that he was only giving the mouse kisses, before she freaked about him killing the mouse. It’s actually kind of nice to have a young cat around here, now Smokey and Grandpa can have fun with their last few decades.”

“I honestly thought they were going to kick the bucket after Taffeta was born,” he commented. “How old are they again ?”

“I don’t know,” Jane claimed. “I asked the last time I took them to the vet, and even the vet couldn’t pinpoint an age on them two. I’m sure they might outlive us.”

“All hail the eternal cats,” Tim joked. “So this is Mortimer ?”

“We gave him a bath and a flea collar,” Jane reassured. “Taffeta wants to get him a tag and a bowtie collar, like Smokey and Grandpa, so he feels like a part of the family too.”

“We’ll see how she does with taking care of her own pet,” Tim claimed. “I feel like we should’ve gotten her something smaller than a cat though – like a guinea pig, or a goldfish.”

“But she was so happy to have a cat of her own,” Jane insisted. “I’m sure she’ll take good care of Mortimer. Don’t judge until you see it all for yourself. I’m taking her to get things for Mortimer tomorrow after school, so she can start with her kitty mom responsibility.”

“What are you going to do if she doesn’t take care of him ?” Tim asked.

“Take care of him myself, of course,” Jane reassured. “We’ve already let him into the house, it would be rude to throw him our or give him up to a shelter. He’s a part of this family now, whether you like it or not !!”

Taffetta came into the room with Tim’s phone before she handed it back to Tim.

“Maddie was cutting her hair, she said she didn’t want it long when she went to preschool,” Taffeta claimed. “And then Auntie Patience is making her wear a dress for her first day, but she doesn’t want to wear it, because she doesn’t like the color pink, even though her hair’s like ours.”

“Does Auntie Patience know that Maddie was cutting her hair ?” Jane asked.

“No,” Taffeta answered. “But she said that long hair made her feel ugly, so she wanted to cut it.”

Tim looked to Jane, confused, of course. He would say he was concerned, but Maddie was A. and Patience’s kid, so he couldn’t really stop her from doing what she was doing, but he knew that Patience would have a heart attack when she realized that her daughter took scissors to her hair and chopped the wavy locks of reddish – pink locks off.

“Uhm . . . I think it’s time for you to change into your pajamas, Taff,” Jane insisted. “It’s eight o’clock.”

“Oh, we’re almost late for bedtime !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Come on, momma, we have to put my jammies on and you have to tuck me in.”

“I thought you were a big girl now ?” Jane teased.

“I’m not that big yet, momma,” Taffeta whined. “I still want you to read me a bedtime story, and sing that song you like to sing to me, or else I won’t be able to sleep !!”

Jane chuckled to herself as she picked Taffeta up and carried her up the stairs.

Tim went to the cupboards, before he pulled out two wine glasses and grabbed the sparkling grape juice he and Jane used as their go – to wine substitute, and poured them both glasses. He set them on the table and took the cheese and cracker plate he bought at the super market and peeled off the little sticker that held it together, before he put the lid to the side.

Tim carried their two juice glasses and the cheese plate onto the coffee table before he went upstairs to the linen closet to pull out two warm blankets for both him and Jane to share while they watched T.V and spent their well earned ‘grown – up time’ together. He went down the hallway, and peeked into Taffeta’s room to see that she shoved the book of fairytales back at Jane.

“Pleeease, momma !!” Taffeta begged. “Can we read the one about Little Red Riding Hood again, it has my favoritest part !! I like when the hunter cuts open the Big, Bad Wolf’s tummy and puts rocks in it !!”

“I thought you liked Cinderella, because the stepmother gets her eyes poked out by crows ?” Jane asked.

“But I like Little Red Riding Hood a little, teensy – weensy bit more !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

“It’s getting late, Taffeta,” Jane coaxed. “You wouldn’t want to be tired tomorrow, right ? You have a big day ahead of you. You’re going to meet a lot of new friends, and learn lots of new things.”

“Are you sure we can’t . . .” Taffeta yawned. “Read another bedtime story ?”

“Would our song make you more sleepy ?” Jane asked.

Taffeta leaned onto Jane’s chest and hugged the moth stuffed animal that Tim first bought her as a baby in her arms as she nodded.

Jane ran her nails through Taffeta’s hair as she rocked her baby to sleep.

“ _Through the glass_ , _over the wall_ , _looking for something new_ . . .” Jane began. “ _Wake from the dream_ , _forget about the past_ , _at the end of the rainbow is you_ . . .”

Taffeta yawned once again and rubbed her eyes, before she popped her lips and fought to keep her eyes shut, so she could continue to bother Jane for an hour more before she passed out from exhaustion.

“ _What’s in a name, a familiar refrain_ ? _We all play our roles_ , _in a box full of holes_ . . .” she continued. “ _When the future is lost_ , _and the lines have been crossed_ – _I know where I will be_ . . .”

Taffeta jolted one last time before she lost her battle with the Sandman, and her eyes fluttered shut as she snuggled into the warm comfort of her momma’s chest.

“ _Through the lows and the highs_ , _I will stay by your side_. _There’s no need for goodbyes_ , _now I’m seeing the light_ . . .” she sang softly. “ _When the sky turns to grey_ , _and there’s nothing to say_. _At the end of the day_ . . .”

Jane got up from the bed and laid Taffeta down safely on her bed, and readjusted her daughter’s arms around her favorite stuffed animal. She leaned down and placed her hand on her forehead, before Jane kneeled and placed a soft kiss on her daughter’s temple – something she never received as a little girl like her own little one ( Cosmos knew Tim wouldn’t have done it at that point in time. ). It felt nice to provide Taffeta with hugs, and kisses, because Jane realized with time; kids need that sort of thing to be well adjusted little bean babies.

“ _I choose you_. . .”

She got up and opened the door to allow Tim to come in and tuck their daughter in with his love, kisses, and warm affection, even if she was too far into her own sleep to notice.

“The beast is finally down !!” Tim whisper – yelled.

“That she is,” Jane agreed. “Now, for our ‘grown – up time’, what are we going to do ?”

“I say that we try to watch that damned ‘Welcome To Mormontown’,” Tim commented. “It’s been five freaking years that we’ve been saying that, and we still haven’t watched the first damned episode.”

“Well, at least we can still stream it,” Jane reminded. “I’m getting tired of the same old ‘Keepin’ It Real’ housewife drama, and yet, I still envy how all of them are just allowed to sit on their asses all day and start shit with eachother. They’re freakin’ millionaires, just for trash talking eachother. I could do that for free !!”

“I mean, we’re millionaires too, Jane,” Tim reminded. “It’s not like we’ve really touched most of our money in the attic since we’ve found it. It’s still a lot of money.”

“Easy there, tiger,” Jane teased. “That doesn’t mean that we should start spending it all on crazy and kind of worthless things. We want to leave something behind for Taffeta when we . . . **_go_**.”

“Well, we’re not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, I hope,” he claimed. “Let’s focus on the now – watch a little bit of trash T.V, drink some juice, cuddle on the couch, before we inevitably get tired like the grouchy, old married couple everyone says we are, and go upstairs to cuddle eachother to sleep. We have a huge day tomorrow.”

“You got that right,” she agreed.

He tossed her a blanket, before they both got into their default cuddle position and Tim pulled out his phone to stream ‘Welcome To Mormontown’ on the T.V.

“You got a cheese plate, too ?” Jane asked. “One that’s not served on a mousetrap with a dead mouse as a centerpiece ?”

Tim huffed onto his hand and acted like he shined it off.

“I guess you could say that I’m an expert at this adulting thing.”

“Oh shut up, you dope.”


	2. First Day Sanguine

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕠 :

𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕊𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕚𝕟𝕖

◟ ◞

Tim walked down the stairs to make himself a cup of coffee in the coffee machine, before he noticed Taffeta, as she kneeled in front of the happy maternity picture they had taken all those years ago.

She had her moth in her arms, and she was still in her star printed pajamas as she looked up at the picture.

Tim went to the living room and kneeled next to her before he gave her a morning hug.

“Morning, lima bean,” he greeted. “What are you doing ?”

“Looking at the picture of you, momma, Uncle A., and Uncle B.,” Taffeta explained. “I just want to be a great Willoughby on my first day, like you and momma are.”

Tim smiled and shook his head, before he rustled her hair.

“You will be great, Taffeta,” he reassured. “You are great – We are Willoughbys, one of the greatest families to ever live. We were kings, and nobles, philosophers, adventurers, artists – we were made to change the world.”

“Do you think I will, poppa ?” she asked.

“Of course I do, lima bean,” he soothed. “You already do great things everyday.”

“Why are you two staring at the wall ?”

They looked behind themselves to see Jane had come down the stairs, and she plugged her earrings in her ears as she looked at them both.

“Because, momma,” Taffeta started. “We are Willoughbys.”

Jane groaned and put her head in her hands before she started to laugh and shook her head. She saw a lot of Tim in that kid, regardless of how much he claimed that Taffeta acted like Jane, that was definitely Tim’s kid at the core. Taffeta looked up to her poppa, even though she said she loved both Tim and Jane the same – she loved when he would tuck her in and read her bedtime stories ( because he would always do funny voices to keep her entertained during some rather gruesome fairytales ), when he would lift her onto his shoulders ( Let’s face it, he was a walking skyscraper ), when he would let her cuddle up on the couch with him ( which she insisted they do every night ), and when he would pick her up and spin her around ( Okay, Jane loved when he’d pick **_her_** up too ).

“Well, Willoughbys are usually dressed for the day already,” Jane claimed. “Hop in the shower, Taff. Breakfast will be ready when you get back down here.”

“Okay momma !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

Taffeta braced her legs and pulled herself up, before Tim helped her catch her balance and she did her little penguin walk back up the stairs to get the clothes she and Jane picked out the previous day, so she could get dressed in the bathroom, and not run back to her room in a towel.

“So, what’s for breakfast ?” Jane asked.

“I thought you were making breakfast ?” Tim asked.

“I can’t cook,” Jane claimed. “You know I’m bad at that.”

“Well that meatloaf you made last night was really good,” Tim responded. “If you can make meatloaf, I’m sure that you can make eggs and bacon by yourself.”

“Well, you know that I love when you do the boring things,” Jane commented. “It’s nice when poppas do nice things for mommas.”

“What do I get in return ?” he asked.

“I’ll give you a neck massage tonight,” she offered. “I would’ve said ‘I’ll take off early and pick her up’, but I was already planning on doing that so we can get the cat stuff for Mortimer.”

“Momma !! Poppa !!”

Tim and Jane looked at eachother, before they ran upstairs to see if Taffeta was okay. Thy didn’t know if she fell over and couldn’t get up, because if she did, Tim would’ve rushed her into the hospital immediately and she would’ve missed her first day of school. He couldn’t have his precious, little lima bean miss her first day, she would be devastated !!

They looked into the bathroom to see Taffeta stare into the shower, with a giant smile on her face as she pointed inside the shower.

“Look !!”

They looked inside the shower to see that Grandpa and Smokey were there, with a Mortimer that must’ve lost at least ten kitty pounds, and five little, mewling, tabby kittens. Mortimer had babies in the shower, which mean that Mister Mortimer was actually a **_Miss_** Mortimer, because there was no way, even if Smokey and Grandpa were actually Smokie and Grandma, that Smokey or Grandpa had those babies.

“Mortimer had babies !!” Taffeta pointed out. “Can we keep them, poppa ?”

“Absolutely not !!” Tim exclaimed. “We can’t have eight cats in the house. Imagine how much pee they would make !! The whole house would smell like cat pee !! Once the kittens are old enough, they have **_got_** to **_go_**.”

“Aw, but what’s really the problem with having eight kitties ?” Jane asked.

“That’s a lot of responsibility, and I know you are not going to take care of all eight of them,” Tim claimed. “You can’t even name five more cats, I can promise you that.”

Jane picked up the first kitten, a grey tabby kitten, and checked to see whether the kitten was a boy or a girl.

“Ebenezer,” she declared.

Taffeta picked up the next kitten, a white and grey tabby kitten, before she handed them to Jane.

“Is this one a boy or a girl, momma ?” she asked.

“A boy,” Jane declared. “What do you want to name him, Taff ?”

“Archibald !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “That has three syllables !!”

“A proper name,” Jane agreed. “Good job, Taff.”

“I’m sure you can’t come up with a once syllable name for a kitten that you like,” Tim insisted.

He picked up a kitten, to check whether this one was a boy or a girl, before he handed the bluish tabby kitten to Taffeta.

“It’s a girl,” he said. “Good luck.”

“Don’t be an ass, Tim,” Jane scolded. “She’s smarter than she looks.”

“Dot,” Taffeta named. “A one syllable name, just like you wanted, poppa.”

“Told you,” Jane teased.

Jane picked up the next kitten, the biggest of the bunch, a brown tabby kitten, before she checked to see what they were. A boy. She handed the kitten to Tim, before she folded her arms.

“Since you’re so great with names, name him,” Jane ordered. “One syllable.”

Tim looked at him and scowled, before he looked at Jane.

“Gus,” Tim said. “One syllable.”

Taffeta picked up the runt of the litter before she checked the kitten ( although she didn’t quite know what she was looking for ), before Jane did the job for her.

“It’s a girl, Taff,” Jane said. “What’s her name ?”

“I like Ethel,” Taffeta claimed. “I know it’s two syllables, but . . .”

“Ethel’s nice,” Jane confirmed. “I like it.”

“Ethel it is,” Tim agreed. “But we can’t keep all these kittens. It’s just too many animals, and too much responsibility. We don’t need that many cats.”

“But we can find them good homes, right ?” Taffeta asked.

“I’m sure Uncle A. and Auntie Patience might want one,” Jane claimed. “A.’s been claiming they’re having a mouse problem in their horse stables, maybe they might want a barn cat ?”

“Sabrina loves cats,” Tim added. “I’m sure Uncle B. and Miss Sabrina wouldn’t mind getting another kitten. Maybe a kitten might be able to keep Chanceaux company while they’re on their big trips ?”

“Maybe Granny and Grandpop might want one !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “They love our kitties, maybe they might want one of their own !!”

“It wouldn’t hurt to ask if the Vinderstromm – McMilks or the Wolfes want a cat,” Jane claimed. “Celeste and Lars love cats, and I know the Randy wouldn’t mind having a cat, since Bea has Major.”

“See, balance restored !!” Tim declared. “Cats have a home, and we don’t have eight of them in ours.”

“Let’s get Mortimer in a box with her kittens,” Jane said. “We can’t let her nest in the shower, we kind of need it.”

Tim went downstairs and looked under the stairs to see where they stored their extra boxes, before Jane went to see which blankets she deemed to be okay for Mortimer to use in her nest. They met up downstairs before Tim settled a cardboard box in the corner of the living room, next to his desk, and Jane used one of the blankets they had gotten when they first moved in ( it wasn’t nearly as fluffy as it used to be ) to pad the bottom of the cardboard box.

Jane went upstairs and coaxed Smokey and Grandpa away so they could move Mortimer and her kittens before they started to move her, so they wouldn’t be greeted with two angry cats, protecting the new mom of the house ( Well, so Tim wouldn’t be greeted by two angry cats – he was normally subject to a good scratching when he went around Jane and Taffeta when they first got home, because they wanted to protect Jane and the baby from whatever they perceived as a threat – Tim just so happened to be threatening to them. ), before Tim came and began to collect Mortimer and her kittens and brought them downstairs.

“Okay, Taff, you better get crackin’ on that shower,” Jane encouraged. “We don’t want to be late on your first day. Maybe we can all take pictures when you, Anya, and Felix get to school.”

“Okay, momma !!”

Jane shut the door behind herself, to allow Taffeta to have her privacy while she showered, before she went downstairs to see that Tim got breakfast started, even though he complained about doing it earlier. She went up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso, and lifted one of her legs.

“Thank you for doing the boring stuff, poppa,” she crooned. “I promise I’ll get you that neck massage tonight.”

“You better !!” he exclaimed. “I will lay on top of you all night if you don’t give me that freaking massage.”

“Whoa, you don’t need to take it there,” she soothed. “You’ll get it.”

“What’s for breakfast ?” she asked.

“Eggs, bacon,” he listed. “Then I was going to make us some green smoothies, so we’ll have something healthy to go with this greasy breakfast.”

“Ooo, sounds good,” she claimed.

He lifted his mug of coffee that was halfway empty before he took a sip.

“Remember when Nanny always told me that I wasn’t going to grow if I kept drinking coffee ?” he asked. “Well, look at me now.”

“I’m still convinced that Queen gave you magic beans while you guys were still married,” she teased. “Maybe the effects of the coffee was overridden by the magic beans, and then you shot up like a freaking beanstalk.”

“At least you have someone that can reach the top shelf,” he claimed. “We both know Taffeta won’t be able to do it. She’s still four inches under the average height for a kid her age.”

“Well, maybe her sperm donor was short ?” Jane suggested. “She might grow when she’s older. We didn’t think you would grow past five foot ten, and then now you’re six foot seven.”

“I honestly thought you were going to be taller,” Tim claimed. “But you’re five foot, what ?”

“I am tall for a woman,” Jane insisted. “I’m five foot six.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay . . .” Tim sighed. “Tiny woman.”

“Queen was shorter than I was !!” Jane reminded. “She was five foot nothing !!”

“Five foot three,” Tim corrected. “But it was nice, I like when girls are short.”

“Do you not like me ?” Jane asked.

“I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“Then sleep in your own bed for once.”

Tim laughed and shook his head before he turned around and pulled Jane’s arms off of him.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“You’re sick !!”

Tim shook his head before he broke away from their hug and grabbed three plates to put the eggs and bacon onto the plate for them to sit down and eat before they had to drop Taffeta off at school and both had to head to work. They heard the thumps of Taffeta’s behind as she scooted down the stairs, rather than walked ( since she had trouble with that, especially on the stairs ).

“Are you ready, Taff ?” Jane called. “Breakfast is on the table.”

Taffeta walked to the table before Tim lifted her into her chair and scooted her in so they could start to eat breakfast before they had to go.

“Oh darn, I forgot the smoothies !!” Tim exclaimed.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Jane dismissed. “We already have a big breakfast in front of us.”

“Are you sure you don’t want one ?” Tim asked.

“We can’t be late, poppa !!” Taffeta insisted.

“Okay, fine,” he sighed. “Let’s eat so we can head out to school.”

“Was it scary when you guys went to school ?” Taffeta asked.

“Our first days at school were really scary,” Jane confirmed. “I was in the same school as Uncle A. and Uncle B., but we weren’t in the same class. I was in the fourth grade and they were in the second. I barely saw them throughout the day, and your poppa was in middle school. People didn’t really like us because we were the weird, homeschooled kids – I got made fun of a lot until I was in high school. People called me names, and laughed at me a lot, but by the time I got to high school, nothing really bothered me anymore.”

“Because you got hot, apparently,” Tim claimed. “In high school, everyone thought your mom was the prettiest girl in school – she was a cheerleader, popular, she was very different from me.”

“What about when you went to school, poppa ?” Taffeta asked. “It can’t be all scary, right ?”

“It’s not all scary,” Tim reassured. “I actually had a really good first day. I had seven different teachers for each class, and I met a lot of new people, one of which was Annie King, and she was really pretty too. She was really nice, and we had a few classes together – we would eat lunch together, and she introduced me to Cate Baker, her friend.”

“What happened to them ?” Taffeta asked. “Are you guys still friends ?”

Tim realized that the next part of that story was probably too sad of an ending for his daughter, but then he remembered that she could get through stories where evil queens wore metal shoes and had to dance until they died, without getting too scared.

“Annie and Cate got into a really bad car accident together in highschool,” Tim answered. “They got really hurt, and eventually they . . . didn’t make it. They died.”

He remembered that night really well, it was the night that he finally took Jane to a highschool party. Cate and Annie went with them to the party, and just like he did, they drank and did drugs. Both of them got so drugged up and drunk, and both of them were far too scared to call their parents, so they drove. They ended up driving themselves off the side of a mountain and Annie’s car was found halfway down the mountain. Tim didn’t even check on them, he just wanted to get Jane home so he could –

“That must’ve been sad for you, poppa,” Taffeta commented. “I wouldn’t want Felix and Anya to die.”

“Yeah, it was really sad,” he answered. “But soon I met new friends, and they were really good friend. We don’t talk much anymore, because I got into a big fight with one of them, and the other two decided it was better to stay friends with her than me, but it’s okay. I know I’ll be fine without them.”

Jane knew he meant his other student council buddies, Daniel and Dewey – those two were definitely Queen’s little minions back in highschool. And they would carry out all the work that Queen couldn’t do without ruining her own picture perfect image that she had to the teachers – like when they messed up the cheerleading uniforms before a game, and the cheer squad had to resort to last years outfits. Abigail Wallace – Thatcher outgrew hers, so Louis, the mascot, let her be mascot for the night. It was very embarrassing, at least to Jane it was, since she was the captain of the cheer squad.

Of course, those cronies stuck with Queen after the divorce. Jane wondered how Dorian reacted to those two creeps wanting to be around Queen all the time after he and Queen got married. She knew a lot of people in Patience’s family ( minus Isaac ) were rather airheaded, but he couldn’t be that dumb. Jane knew that Daniel and Dewey wanted to hook up with Queen the entire time Tim and Queen were a thing – Queen was probably the only hope those two had when it came to the horizontal tango in highschool ( and now they were married to two golddigging twin sisters, Missy and Sissy ).

“Well, would you look at that, we better get going,” Tim claimed.

He picked up everyone’s plates before he went and put them in the sink for either himself or Jane ( probably himself ) to wash when they got home that night.

Jane helped Taffeta out her seat, before Tim got Taffeta’s lunchbox out of the refrigerator and they got her to the front door, where Jane slipped on her jacket and Tim helped her put the straps of her star printed backpack on her shoulders. They held her hands as they walked to the car, and Tim helped her into her booster seat.

They looked to the side to see Randy flashed his lights and blared his siren quickly to get their attention, before they noticed that Lars and Celeste loaded Felix into the backseat of their car.

The parents waved at eachother, as they all knew that they would see eachother at the school, where they would all gather for first day pictures, and escort their kids into their classrooms to see what they had to do in the morning and have a quick meeting with Miss Yamaguchi to meet the teacher before they left their kids for the day.

They pulled out of the drive way and all parents went their separate routes as they went to school.

“Who do you think is going to cry first ?” Jane asked Tim.

“Bea,” Tim answered. “She’s such a sap when it comes to her kids, even though she’s done this three times already. Maybe Randy might, but I still have my bets on Bea.”

“No, I think you’re going to cry first, poppa,” Taffeta added. “You cry about a lot of things.”

“I do not,” Tim argued. “I don’t cry about **_everything_**.”

“You cried about how pretty momma was the other day,” Taffeta reminded. “You said that she was so pretty that it could make a grown man cry, and it did !!”

“They call me a stunner for a reason,” she joked. “Thing is, I never really find anyone that stunning back. Never cried about how pretty someone was.”

“That is a lie,” Tim claimed. “Every single night you cry about how perfect Taffeta is.”

“Momma cries ?” Taffeta asked.

“Well, everyone cries a little bit about different things, Taff,” Jane explained. “Some people cry because they’re happy, other people cry because they’re scared or upset – and a small amount of people cry about everything, like your poppa and Missus Bea.”

They pulled into the parking lot of the elementary school, labeled ‘Bear Valley Elementary School’. It was a truly different experience, since Jane and Tim were now on the parent side. Did Nanny and Melanoff feel this way when they dropped the Willoughby siblings off at school ? Nervous, but so excited to see their little girl go to school. They got out of the car and helped Taffeta out of her booster seat, before they saw Randy, Bea, Anya, and her brothers, along with Celeste, Lars, and Felix, as the parents snapped their individual pictures in front of the school ( or family pictures in Randy and Bea’s case ).

Tim and Jane went up to them, and Taffeta broke away to hug Felix and Anya, and they giggled and chattered excitedly about their first day at school and about how big their new school was.

“Ugh, this is such a big day,” Bea sighed. “It’s Connor’s last year here, and it’s Anya’s first.”

“I never thought about our little Turbo – Man would actually grow up and go to school when he was born,” Celeste agreed. “Now he’s a big kid, and he didn’t even want me to help him tie his shoes this morning.”

Lars signed something to Celeste, and she nodded in agreement.

“He really is growing up too fast,” Celeste confirmed. “They all are.”

“They really are,” Tim repeated. “This morning Taffeta told me she wanted to make our family proud, and I know she will – those kids are going to do something great one day.”

“It just sucks that we don’t have a baby in the house anymore,” Bea claimed. “Randy, let’s have another baby.”

Randy laughed before he shook his head and put his arm around his wife.

“I thought we agreed that we were tapping out after Anya ?” he asked.

“Well, I changed my mind,” Bea insisted. “Let’s have eleven babies !!”

“I don’t understand people like you,” Jane said. “Tim and I had this conversation the other day, and I’m honestly perfectly fine with just Taffeta, even if she has to grow up.”

“Lars and I are debating on having more kids,” Celeste claimed. “We’re still unsure if we’d want to adopt, or if we want to . . . y’know ? **_Have_** them ? I just know getting pregnant is kind of hard for me, since I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, but if the opportunity to have a baby naturally was possible – I wouldn’t be **_opposed_** to it.”

Lars took out his phone and typed into it.

“We both know that Felix would make a great big brother, but we also want Celeste to be safe and have a smooth pregnancy – where we’re not always in the hospital because of something.”

“Makes sense,” Tim agreed. “I just feel like we should have at least one more, because we did so good with Taffeta, and then she’ll always have someone to grow with when she gets older. She won’t be alone.”

“That’s why we had a bunch of kids,” Randy agreed. “Now, once we’re gone, Connor, Damien, Hamish, and Anya will have eachother to confide in about things.”

“Mom, are we going to take more pictures ?” Felix called.

“Right !!” Celeste exclaimed.

The kids posed for their pictures, and they took some with Felix, Anya, and Taffeta. Then the parents offered to take family pictures of the other parents; Lars took the Willoughby’s, Bea took the Vinderstroom – McMilk’s, and Jane took the Wolfe’s.

“Are you sending the pictures to Grampy, Nene Pearl, and and Nene Bertha ?” Felix asked.

“Mormor and Morfar want to see them too,” Celeste added.

“Maybe we can call them after dinner, so you can tell them how your day went ?” Lars signed ( and Celeste translated ).

“I’m sure Poppop and Mamma will love these pictures !!” Bea exclaimed to her kids.

“And I’ll send them to Grams and Gramps too,” Randy claimed.

“Are you going to send the pictures to Granny and Grandpop ?” Taffeta asked Jane.

“Duh, of course,” Jane reassured. “You know that Granny loves to have pictures of you when you do great things, then she can put them up in the house.”

“What about Uncle A. and Auntie Patience ?” Taffeta asked. “Or Uncle B. and Miss Sabrina ?”

“Uncle B. and Miss Sabrina would choke me out if I don’t send them pictures,” Jane claimed. “I’m honestly surprised that Patience hasn’t sent me about a trillion pictures of Maddie going to school.”

As if on cue, Jane’s phone buzzed a few times to tell her she received a few text messages, all from Patience, and all were of Maddie on her first day. The first picture was of Maddie on their porch, and she sat with her arms crossed, and her lunch box on the floor.

“She wasn’t happy that she had to wear a dress.”

The next one was of Maddie in her carseat, still annoyed with the situation. Then in front of the “Bear Cub Pre – K”, in A.’s arms, and not even that seemed to cheer Patience and A.’s daughter up. Then the next few were of Maddie in the classroom, and she went to play with the other boys as they played with the train track in one of the little centers of the room.

“But at least she made some friends !!”

Jane smiled and showed Tim the pictures she was sent, before he smiled and let off a soft ‘Aw’.

The families escorted their kids inside, before Connor, Damien, and Hamish broke away because they already knew the routine at the school, and they were sure they could navigate their way through their classes without Bea and Randy’s help. Taffeta, Anya, and Felix held eachother’s hands as they walked down the hallway, before they reached a classroom with a chalkboard next to the door that read ‘Miss Yamaguchi’ with another one under it ( for her assistant, as it could be assumed ) that read ‘Missus Kennicott = Pober’.

Tim instantly recognized the name, but knew that it wasn’t Queen, but her sister, Princess, who was studying to be a full time elementary school teacher ( it was her dream ever since she was a kid ). He looked inside to see a younger Asian woman, in a floral print dress with a white cardigan, and Queen’s sister, in a sweaterdress and leggings with a jacket.

“Isn’t that Queen’s little sister ?” Jane whispered.

“Yeah, it is,” Tim answered. “Don’t make it too awkward.”

“Same to you,” Jane teased.

Miss Yamaguchi approached them and held out her hand as she introduced herself to everyone, before she kneeled down to the kids.

“And who are you youngsters ?” she asked.

“Anya Wolfe !!”

“Felix Vinderstromm, and those two are my mom and dad.”

Felix then pointed at Lars and Celeste.

“But if we don’t look alike, it’s okay, because I’m adopted.”

Miss Yamaguchi giggled and shook her head.

“I think you look a lot like your mom, Felix,” she claimed.

Felix grabbed a lock of his curly, blonde hair and held it to his face at the comment.

“So, you think I’m . . . pretty ?” he asked.

“You are a pretty kid !!” Miss Yamaguchi complimented.

For the first time, Felix experienced . . . **_validation_**. He was pretty, and he didn’t know that the word alone would make him feel . . . **_good_**. He was **_pretty_**.

Taffeta cleared her throat and puffed out her chest.

“Taffeta J. Willoughby, the first of my name, because my momma told my poppa that I couldn’t be named after any relatives, like my great – great uncle Edmund,” Taffeta announced. “But even if I’m not named after a great Willoughby, I’m going to be one !!”

“I’m sure you will be, Taffeta,” Miss Yamaguchi reassured. “Come on, you three, Missus K. will show you where you all put your homework folders, where you are going to sit for the first week, and where your backpacks and lunch boxes go.”

The three kids went up to Princess Kennicott, who then began to walk them through their morning routine, and show them where their name tags were at the desks for the first day.

“Anyways, I just wanted to let you parents know that were going to have a lot of fun this year,” Miss Yamaguchi reassured. “I have my lesson plans packed full of things for your kids to learn, and with both myself and Missus Kennicott her, I know your kids will come home with a lot of knowledge. We also have our workbooks, which the kids have to take home everyday, and they’ll more than likely have one math and one reading assignment a night, but they should be able to do them !! I’ll be sending home a first day packet that will have my plans as well as my contact information if you ever need to ask any information.”

They ended up asking more questions before they ended the conversation and waved goodbye to their kids, Anya and Taffeta sat at their desks and waved from afar, as the parents began to leave, but Felix got out of his chair and ran to hug Celeste on her leg, before he wiped his tears on her pant leg.

“Mom, don’t go !!” he whined.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry, but dad and I have to go today,” Celeste soothed. “Look, I’m sure today’s going to be great, right ?”

Felix sniffled before he looked to Lars, who signed a very common sign to his son. ‘I Love You’.

Felix nodded, before Miss Yamaguchi took his hand.

“Come on, Felix,” she encouraged. “Lets sit at your desk, and we can get started on a coloring page while other kids start to show up.”

He nodded again and followed Miss Yamaguchi back to his desk.

Tim looked to the side, to see Jane and he heard her sniffle, before a few streaky, eyeliner tears began to make their way down her face, but she laughed and still smiled.

“Damn it.”


	3. A New Nemesis

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖 :

𝔸 ℕ𝕖𝕨 ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕤

◟ ◞

“Look at how big this playground is, you guys !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “It’s like a castle !!”

“A castle fit for three princesses,” Anya agreed. “Let’s go up to the top of the slide, maybe we can declare this kingdom as our own !!”

Felix, Taffeta, and Anya went up the stairs of the playground structure, before they went to the hot, plastic tree structure that had a giant tube slide that went all the way back down to the woodchips at the bottom. They were stopped by two girls from the other class.

“Where do you think you’re going ?” one asked.

She had pitch black hair that was cut into a layered bob, and she had pale skin, as well as small slanted eyes.

“You can’t come in here, this is our tree !!” the other claimed.

She had bright orange hair, and freckles all her face, with big eyes that nearly seemed to pop out of her head.

“What do you mean ?” Anya asked. “We can play on the playground too !! Miss Yamaguchi said that it’s good to share, so **_share_** !!”

Another girl came out of the tree, she was big ( and I’m not talking about tall ), and she had wavy brown hair, freckles, and big lips. Her hair seemed to be perfectly scrunched into the curls, and her outfit was completely color coordinated. She looked at Taffeta and started to laugh.

“That girl looks like my mom’s ex – husband !!” she laughed. “He was ugly, and so was his family.”

Taffeta felt a blush come upon her face – ugly ? She wasn’t . . . ugly . . . was she? She covered her face and noticed that her nose poked out a little further than the button noses she normally saw, before she covered her ears behind her hair and adjusted her headband to hold them back further. She felt like she had elephant ears, and a toucan beak for a nose, and for the first time in her life . . . she really did see herself as ugly.

The other girl with wavy hair poked Anya in her chest.

“Hey !!” Anya exclaimed. “Don’t poke me !!”

“You felt that ?” the girl snorted. “I’m surprised. I didn’t think fat people could feel things like that !!”

Anya felt her own blood boil under her skin. She was used to her brothers picking on her, and she’s heard everything from ‘stupid – head’ to ‘poop – brain’, but never did they ever call her fat. She looked down at her stomach and poked at it, before she saw that she could push her tummy in a little bit. She couldn’t help but to squeeze her stomach, as she pushed back the urge to tackle this girl to the ground and start to hit her, but her mommy told her not to hit someone if they don’t hit her.

“And look at him !!” the last girl pointed out. “He’s wearing a princess shirt !! Boys don’t wear girl clothes; are you a girl or something ?”

Felix looked at his shirt and felt discomfort in his own body that he would only feel late at night, when he would get in the shower. He looked down at his body and he could barely even recognize it. His skin didn’t feel like his own. He then made the connection – her. Was he a girl ? Was this girl right ? It wrong to feel that way, because Felix wasn’t – he didn’t have a girl body, he wasn’t a girl on the outside. He tugged on his shirt and felt himself start to cry again.

“What are your names ?” the biggest girl asked.

“T – Taffeta.”

“Anya.”

“F – Fel . . .” he couldn’t even finish his own name.

Anya looked to Felix and Taffeta before she noticed how upset these girls were made her friends. She got in the center of them and grabbed both of their hands, before she walked them off the playground, and they tried to ignore those girls as they laughed at them. Anya brought them to the small little basketball court and sat them down on the four squares game that was painted on the asphalt.

“Those girls were really mean . . .” Taffeta whispered.

Felix stayed quiet.

“I wanted to punch those girls in their faces !!” Anya shouted. “They were so rude !! That big one was fat, but nobody said anything about her being fat. You guys don’t think I’m fat, right ?”

“No !!” Taffeta reassured. “You’re not !!”

Felix didn’t respond.

Anya rubbed her arms before she paced around the four squares.

“Those girls, they don’t know what they’re talking about !!” Anya vented. “They were so mean !!”

“I don’t feel very good,” Felix finally said. “I want to go home.”

“Do you need to go to the nurse ?” Taffeta asked. “Are you sick ?”

“My stomach hurts,” Felix answered. “I want to ask my mom to pick me up.”

Taffeta braced her legs and pulled herself up, as Anya helped her balance, before they both pulled Felix up from the ground. They held his hand as they went to Miss Yamaguchi, who watched the kids play on the playground structure, as she chewed on her whistle.

“Miss Yamaguchi ?” Anya asked. “Felix doesn’t feel good. His tummy hurts.”

She kneeled down to get their level, so they didn’t have to look up at her.

“Oh, do you need to go to the nurse ?” she asked. “Let me get Missus K., and she can take you to the nurse’s office. I hope you aren’t getting sick on your first day !!”

She motioned for Missus Kennicott – Pober to come over and explained the situation before she held Felix’s hand and guided him to the nurse’s office, so he could at least lay down.

“Miss Yamaguchi, there’s these girls in the tree on the playground, and they wouldn’t let us play on it,” Anya added. “They were really mean about it.”

Taffeta felt her heart pound, she didn’t want to be seen as a tattletale, but that’s exactly what Anya just did !! She grabbed Anya’s wrist and squeezed it before she shook her head, but it was too late.

Miss Yamaguchi went to the playground structure, before she called the other three girls come down. Taffeta hid behind Anya, before she managed to pick up the other girls’ names from the lecture they gotten from Miss Yamaguchi. The black haired girl’s name was ‘Katsuki’, the orange haired girl’s name was ‘Sophie’, and the big girl’s name was ‘Whitney’.

They stared in the direction of Anya and Taffeta, and looked back at Miss Yamaguchi. Once she turned away, they stuck their tongues out at the two girls and went back into the tree on the playground equipment.

“Maybe, we can find somewhere else to play at on the playground ?” Anya suggested.

“No, it’s like every spot is taken !!” Taffeta pointed out.

She wasn’t wrong as the monkey bars had a few other kids from the class, as they played on them. The firepole was already taken by a few kids. A group of girls hid behind the rock wall. It seemed like they had no other choice but to go back to the four squares and the two girls played ‘patty – cake’ and ‘Mary Mack’ until they had to g back inside.

Once recess was over, they lined up with their class, and they noticed that the three other girls were in the other teacher, Missus Tubbs’ class.

Anya held Taffeta’s hand as they went inside, and headed back to the classroom. Missus Tubbs’ class decided to take a bathroom break before they headed back to their classroom ( and Miss Yamaguchi’s class would stop later, when they went to music class ). The two girls hung their heads before Whitney put her leg out and Taffeta tripped over it, and fell to the ground, and as kids due, they started to laugh and some even pointed at her.

Anya gasped and helped her up as she noticed one of her best friends start to writhe and possibly even start crying, which was something Taffeta never did. Taffeta was confident, she always had a sharp and witty comeback, she never cried because of other people, but the day started to be too much for the kids. Anya looked behind Taffeta before she saw Celeste leave with Felix in tow.

They finally made it back to Miss Yamaguchi’s classroom, where Anya stayed with Taffeta until the day ended, which Miss Yamaguchi’s permission.

\---

The school bell rang and the kids collected their things before they walked outside to be picked up by their parents, but had to be picked up at the front of the school, to lower the risk of a kid being kidnapped by some creep.

“Did you have fun today ?” Anya asked.

“No,” Taffeta asked. “I’m sad that Felix’s tummy hurt, and that he had to go home early.”

“Me too,” Anya agreed. “Maybe I might not eat as much as I normally do tonight. My tummy kind of hurts too.”

Anya turned to see that Bea had gotten out of their S.U.V and began to walk up to get Anya, so they could wait for her brothers, since the third, fourth, and fifth grade classes came out a little later, since they were further back in the school. And they tried to let grades out individually so the front of the school wouldn’t be flooded with kids that look alike and all wore similar backpacks. Can’t have a mom come to pick up her Andrew, but get in the car with someone else’s Adam.

Jane followed close behind, as she got out of her car, and caught up with Bea so they could pick their kids up together.

“Did you hear that Felix got sick on his first day ?” Bea asked Jane. “That must’ve been awful for the poor kid !! I hope this doesn’t make him dislike school for the rest of the year.”

They talked to Miss Yamaguchi, just to let them know that they were there to pick up their kids, and that their daughters didn’t go missing the next time she did a head count.

Both mothers took their kids back to their respective cars, and Jane adjusted the rearview mirror of her car so she could look back at Taffeta, who was oddly quiet in the backseat. She assumed that her daughter, the biggest chatterbox of the house, would’ve already been going a mile per minute about her day, but she wasn’t, so that left Jane to start the conversation.

“So, Taff, how was your first day ?” Jane asked.

“Okay,” Taffeta answered. “Felix got sick.”

“Miss Celeste told us, she said he got a tummy - ache,” Jane commented. “What did you do today ? Did you make any new friends ?”

“Not really, I did meet a few other girls from Missus Tubbs’ class,” Taffeta mentioned. “I didn’t like them that much. They weren’t very nice.”

“What happened ?” Jane inquired.

“They didn’t want me, Anya, or Felix to play on the biggest part of the playground,” Taffeta answered. “They said that they were there first, so we weren’t allowed to play there.”

Taffeta knew she shouldn’t bring up the names those girls called them, because she didn’t want Jane to go to the principal’s office and make a big fuss about everything, and she didn’t want Tim to go in there and fight with the faculty about those girls too. It wasn’t really a big deal, all Taffeta had to do was . . . maybe pull her ears back, and just not look up a lot, then people wouldn’t realize her weird bird nose or her satellite dish ears.

Jane laughed quietly to herself, as she remembered the good old days when she was in elementary school. The popular girls of her class were a little meaner, but Jane started public school later than Taffeta. The girls Jane put up with also made fun of her appearance, and called her ‘Miss Skellybones’ because she was skinny, or they called her a flamingo because she had long legs and a beaky nose. They even pointed out her ears at times, and teased her by saying that Jane could fly away with her own ears. Karma is truly a bitch, because as Jane got older, she got more attractive, whether that be a blessing or a curse.

The worst of it was lasagna day at school, one of Jane’s favorite meals. She went to go and sit alone, like she normally did, so she could write music or draw pictures of flowers ( she wasn’t quite the artist that Tim was, but she really knew how to draw flowers ), and one of the girls, the leader ( her name was something like Mandy ) decided that it would be funny to flip Jane’s tray into her face, and Jane got pasta sauce all over her new outfit.

When they got home that day, Nanny spent hours doing every hack or wives tale advice from baking soda and lemon juice to peroxide, while Jane sat outside on the porch, wrapped in a blanket due to being topless. Tim soon came outside and asked her how her day went, and for the first time since their adoption, she confided in him. She cried and told him about how ugly she felt and how awful the girls at school treated her. She didn’t expect the reaction she got out of him, because the entire time they lived with their biological parents, Tim wasn’t that sympathetic or emotional – but he gave her a hug, and told her that she was the prettiest girl he had ever met and that she was perfect in his eyes.

Once he started to date other girls ( a week long relationship with his classmate Diane, for the Valentine’s Day dance, and then she broke up with him because she didn’t actually like him like a boyfriend, Jane was pretty sure he and Annie dated before they realized they made better friends rather than partners, and of course, Queen ), he didn’t compliment her like that anymore. She had never found a guy that was nice to her like that ever again, so she settled for Troy, because what was the use of trying to find another Tim ?

“Did you end up finding another place to play ?” Jane asked.

“We played on the basketball court,” Taffeta answered. “Anya and I played patty cake and Mary Mack.”

“I hope tomorrow’s a better day for you,” Jane soothed. “Who knows ? Maybe those other girls might let you take a turn where you three wanted to play, and they’ll play somewhere else.”

Taffeta nodded and looked at her fingers.

“Momma ?”

“Yes, Taff ?”

“Do you think I’m pretty ?”

Jane furrowed her eyebrows at Taffeta’s question. Of course, she thought her baby was pretty !! Taffeta was the most perfect little girl in the world in Jane’s eyes. That was her baby. On top of that, Taffeta never seemed to care if she was pretty, because she knew she was. She was always so confident, and that question was alarming because Taffeta was rarely insecure about her looks.

“The prettiest girl in the world,” Jane reassured. “What makes you wonder if you’re not ?”

“No reason,” Taffeta lied. “Girls in class were just talking about how pretty other girls were, and I just wondered if you thought I was.”

“Did they say you weren’t ?” Jane asked. “Did they call you any names ?”

“N – No,” Taffeta lied again. “I was just listening to them and I wondered a little bit.”

“Don’t wonder about if you’re pretty or not, Taff,” Jane insisted. “You **_are_** pretty, and you don’t need to let other people decide that for you.”

Taffeta smiled and looked up from her hands. She looked at Jane from the rearview mirror.

“Poppa really did cry the other day,” she reminded. “Because he said you were really pretty.”

“Your poppa cries about everything,” Jane laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“He does,” Taffeta agreed. “He cried because there were cute puppies on a commercial too, like how you said Auntie Patience cried a lot, about everything when she had Maddie in her tummy.”

“I cried a lot more than I normally did when you were in my tummy,” Jane claimed. “I cried a lot when you were born too.”

“Why ?” Taffeta asked. “I wasn’t in your tummy anymore !!”

“That’s why,” Jane answered. “When I found out you were in my tummy, I cried because I was really scared. I didn’t know if I was ready to be a momma yet, but your poppa said that he would help me out with you and be your poppa, and it takes a very strong and very brave man to do that. Then a lot of other things made me cry, because for awhile, I wasn’t a very caring person, so I didn’t think that other people cared about me –“

“I care about you, momma !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Even when I was in your tummy I cared about you **_this_** much !!”

Taffeta stretched her arms out as far as they could go, and Jane looked at her in the rearview mirror before she chuckled at the sweetness of her daughter.

“Your poppa, Uncle A., Uncle B., Auntie Patience, Aunt Ruth, Granny, and Grandpop cared too,” Jane responded. “But I didn’t think they really did, because I barely ever showed that I cared, even though I really did.”

“What made you cry when I was born ?” Taffeta asked.

“Your poppa got . . . **_sick_** , and he couldn’t be there when you were born, so I was very scared, because I wanted your poppa to be there, but I knew he wouldn’t want to be if he was sick, so it was just me and your Uncle B. there, and your Uncle B. can’t handle some of the things that happen when mommies have babies, so he was scared too,” Jane continued. “It’s actually kind of funny when I think about it now, because babies are covered in blood when they’re born, so your Uncle B. got scared and thought there was something wrong because you were all bloody. Babies don’t come out looking cute, most of the time they get rubbed off with a towel before they get put onto the mommy’s chest, so the mommy can see them.”

“Did they put me on your chest when I was born ?” Taffeta asked.

“Of course, they did, and it made me cry too,” Jane claimed. “I remembered when I saw my first ultrasound, and you were this little blip on a piece of paper, but then you were this tiny person that I needed to take care of – that didn’t know the woman I was before. You were this little person that I made, and that I was going to watch grow into who you were. I didn’t know who you were going to be, but I knew that you were going to be great, and you are.”

“You think so ?” Taffeta asked.

“I know so.”

They pulled into the parking lot of a pet store, since they knew they had to buy a few things for Mortimer now that she was a permanent part of the household. Mortimer needed her own food and water bowl, as well as her own bed ( Smokey and Grandpa had their beds, but they chose to sleep with Tim and Jane – Jane didn’t mind so much, and after awhile Tim didn’t either, it was their norm, just like them sleeping together ), and a collar. Taffeta insisted she had a name tag too, just in case she gets out of the house and gets lost.

Jane helped Taffeta out of the car, and held her hand as they walked to the store.

“Can we look at the other pets ?” Taffeta asked. “Like the fishies, or the birdies, and the bunnies, or the ferrets ?”

“You know that I’ll want to take them all home !!” Jane exclaimed. “Okay, fine, but we’re going to look at the puppies and kitties too, maybe poppa wouldn’t notice if we brought home a few more kitties ?”

They started down the first aisle of little pets, which was the fishes, and there were tanks of goldfish, suckerfish, glowfish, and even a big one of koi fish ( maybe A. and Patience should’ve just ordered their kois from here, rather than Japan – those poor kois ended up going in a tank at Sabrina and B.’s place, Sabrina claimed that they were traumatized, though she couldn’t tell from what, but Tim knew it must’ve been traumatizing if a six foot seven man fell into your home ).

“You think so ?” Taffeta asked.

Jane giggled and shook her head.

“He’s too smart for that,” she claimed. “I think he’d notice that Mortimer had five kitties this morning, and now there’s ten kitties.”

“You’re right,” Taffeta sighed. “What if we got a birdie ?”

“Do you really think that Mortimer, Smokey, and Grandpa would like having a birdie in the house ?” Jane asked. “And birds poop a lot, and they poop everywhere.”

“What if we got a big spider ?” Taffeta asked.

“Your poppa would pee his pants if we came home with a big spider,” Jane teased.

“He’s always the one that gets rid of the spiders when they’re in the house,” Taffeta reminded. “You would pee your pants if we got a big spider.”

“Okay, imagine the big spider getting out of it’s cage and then it crawled into your jammies,” Jane stated. “I wouldn’t want to wake up with a spider in my bed, would you ?”

“I guess not,” Taffeta agreed. “What about a ferret ? They’re like kitties, but long !!”

“I guess they are like long kitties,” Jane said. “But, your poppa would freak out if a ferret made their way into the vents, imagine hearing little ferret squeaks when you’re trying to squeak.”

“Poppa wouldn’t want to get anything outside a puppy,” Taffeta commented. “I don’t want to get a puppy. They’re too hyper, and they like to run around everywhere. Missus Bea’s doggy likes to run everywhere, and he sleeps in the same room as Missus Bea and Mister Randy.”

“I have taught you well, young one,” Jane joked. “It’s nice to know that I’m not outnumbered by dog people.”

“You’ll never be outnumbered by dog people,” Taffeta claimed. “I don’t like dogs that much.”

They stopped at one of the cages, before they saw a few spiky little squeaky balls, as they would run around their cages, as they would hide in their little wooden houses, or curl up into little spiky spheres to sleep.

“Look, momma !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Hedgyhogs !!”

“Yeah, those are hedgehogs,” Jane confirmed. “What if we bring home a hedgehog ?”

“Would poppa mind ?” Taffeta asked.

“If we buy one, he can’t tell us to take it back,” Jane reasoned. “This store doesn’t take refunds, and then the hedgehog will already be used to our home. Plus, they have quills, so Smokey, Grandpa, and Mortimer can’t eat them.”

“So, we’re going to get a hedgyhog ?” Taffeta asked.

“I can’t think of a reason not to get one,” Jane claimed. “So let’s get one !!”

“Yay !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “We’re gonna get a hedgyhog !!”

“First, lets get the things we came here for, then we can come back and get one,” Jane said.

They left the aisle, and went to the aisle with pet supplies, before they got a pink ceramic bowl to finish off Smokey’s blue bowl and Grandpa’s yellow bowl for Mortimer, then they got another water bowl that had a tank to refill itself once it was out of water, as well as a pink bedazzled collar, before they went to the machine that provided the nametags for pets.

Jane lifted Taffeta, so Taffeta could pick which tag was going to be Mortimer’s new tag.

Taffeta picked a tag shaped like a fish. It was silver with pink rhinestones along the sides.

Jane typed in Mortimer’s name, before she added hers and Tim’s contact information on the back, so if the case came up where Mortimer did escape, the person that found her could call Tim or Jane and let them know where she is so they could go back and get it.

The laser in the machine etched all the information into the tag, before it was dropped into a bag and it printed a price sticker to put on the side, so it could be payed for when they got to the checkout counter.

Taffeta stood on her tiptoes, and clung to Jane’s leg as she looked into the grooming salon for the pets, before she noticed that there was a man in there that had a giant lizard on the table in a collar. He painted the lizard’s nails, as the lizard flicked it’s tongue and smelled the room. She shivered at the sheer size of the lizard, and she saw a young woman look through the window and smiled, before the woman talked to another lady that looked in awe at the giant lizard as it got groomed.

The machine clinked as it dispensed the tag that Taffeta took from the machine.

“You ready to get Mortimer a bed ?” Jane asked.

Taffeta nodded and took Jane’s hand as Jane led her to the pet beds, and they ended up with a medium sized bed that had a knit print of a cat chasing a yarn ball that spread across the entire sides of the bed. They picked up another litter box, since that was a given necessity ( hopefully Mortimer wouldn’t have too much trouble with a litter box, it was getting exhausting as they had to let her out to pee in the yard every few hours ).

They went to the aquariums, as it would be more sensible to get a tank for the hedgehog, because rodents love to gnaw on the little metal bars, and Jane didn’t want to let the thing preform a Houdini style escape out of the tank and end up in Tim’s pants or something.

After they picked out the hedgehog supplies, such as hedgehog food, a wheel, a little wooden hutch, a water bottle, a ball ( so the hedgehog can run around the house and not be trapped in their aquarium all the time ), the bedding and floor for the tank, as well as a few other things like hedgehog treats.

Taffeta and Jane went to the aisle with hedgehogs, before they got the attention of one of the workers, and Taffeta picked a hedgehog that was rolled into a ball, before the worker checked to see what the hedgehog was, before they put the hedgehog into a cardboard box.

“It’s a boy,” the worker announced. “What are you going to name him, young lady ?”

“Napoleon !!” Taffeta announced.

“Whoa, that’s a four syllable name right there,” Jane laughed. “Napoleon the Hedgehog it is.”

They checked out all of the things and they took their things back to the car, before Jane loaded the trunk full of their pet supplies. She helped Taffeta into her booster seat, before she handed Napoleon back to the back, for Taffeta to hold on the way back home.

“I hope your poppa doesn’t get home early,” Jane said. “I want to have time to set up the cage before he gets home, so we can surprise him before he gets home.”

“Then he’ll really be surprised !!” Taffeta laughed.

They drove back home, before they noticed the station wagon in the driveway. Jane groaned at the sight of his car, because then she’ll have to actually sit back and explain why she had brought a hedgehog home, rather than simply tell him that they had brought home a hedgehog and there was nothing to do about it.

Jane got out of the car and she helped her daughter out of the car, and into the house, so she didn’t fall in the yard, hurt herself, and then cry that her hedgehog ran away.

She opened the front door, before she looked into the house to see that Tim was playing with Edith. He had a little bell toy and he smiled and laughed as the kitten tackled it and used her back paws to kick the little toy.

“Honey, we’re home !!” she called.

“Did you guys get the things for Mortimer ?” he asked.

“Yes,” Jane answered. “But we also –“

“We got a hedgyhog, poppa !!” Taffeta announced. “And he has spikes so the kitties won’t eat him !!”

“You guys got another animal ?” he groaned.

“Yes !!” Taffeta laughed.

“Jane !!” he exclaimed. “We can’t have more animals !!”

“Oh come on,” she whined.

She went into the kitchen and batted her eyelashes at him as she went and pulled him into a hug.

He looked away from her and bit her lip. He couldn’t look her in the eye, or else she would lock him in like a human hypnotizer, but it was too late, she already has his attention.

“Damn it !!” he laughed.

“And I see you’re playing with Edith,” she pointed out. “You’re not . . . becoming a **_cat_** person, are you ?”

“Well, I’d rather play with the kittens than let them scratch up the couch.”

She laughed and pinched his cheeks.

“You’re so getting that neck massage tonight.”


	4. Transition Euphoria

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣 :

𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝔼𝕦𝕡𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕒

◟ ◞

There was a knock at the door, and Jane went to open it. There stood Lars, Celeste, Felix, and Anya. There was something different about the Vinderstromm – McMilk’s son; he was in a dress. Celeste claimed that she wasn’t going to enforce gender roles onto him, but he never seemed to stray outside of the norm of boy clothes, but there he was with a bow clip in his bangs and a blue dress with a tulle skirt. He wore dress shoes and leggings. He looked . . . **_happy_** , **_genuinely_** **_happy_**.

“Uhm, hey ?” Jane started. “What’s up ?”

“We wanted to talk to you about something,” Celeste claimed. “I just hope you’ll be open – minded about all of it. We know it will be very scary for our family if you aren’t.”

Jane let them inside their house. Tim wasn’t home just yet ( Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, you know how that goes ), so it was just her and Taffeta, who came down the stairs and hugged her friends, before she even noticed something different about the familiar Felix she knew.

Celeste and Lars sat don on the couch, as the kids went upstairs to go and play in Taffeta’s room. He put his hand on his wife’s shoulder, and squeezed lightly, as if she needed an extra push to talk.

“S – So . . . for the last few days, we’ve had our child out of school, because we needed to . . . figure things out,” Celeste started. “I . . . feel like such a bad mom for not realizing it earlier . . .”

Jane raised an eyebrow in inquisition. What could she have missed ? Would Jane feel the same way when they took Taffeta into the doctor’s a week from now ? What if Jane was missing something big with Taffeta and she messed up Taffeta’s head or her body ? She felt her own wave of panic settle in her chest as she thought about the consequences of not scheduling an appointment earlier, and making Tim do it because she was scared.

“Wh – What is it ?” Jane asked.

“We took our kid to see a therapist, and I was just so . . . upset, because . . .” Celeste stopped to cry for a minute. “W – What could a therapist know about my baby that I didn’t catch ?”

Jane shivered at the thought. What if they went to the hospital and found out that Taffeta was visually impaired and that’s what’s been the cause of her falling so frequently ? What if Taffeta had brain damage that could’ve been prevented ? She grabbed her own arms and squeezed. She wished Tim were there right then.

“So our child has been talking to this therapist, and they told us that . . .” Celeste stopped again. “Our son is a girl on the inside. Our son wants to be our daughter. Sh – She wants to be pretty like the other girls, and she wants to be like the other girls.”

Jane blinked as she heard Celeste explain Felix’s situation – Felix is transgender, and that’s all there was to it. Jane got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen to prepare them some hot chocolate, because it was obvious that both Celeste and Lars needed it after they heard such news. It’s a big change for a parent, she was sure of that, but she and Tim knew they would support Taffeta if Taffeta decided that she didn’t feel like she was comfortable as a girl. Celeste was probably just in shock, more so with herself rather than her kid.

She brought back the two mugs of Willoughby comfort before she sat back down in her seat.

“Well, how are you two going to deal with this ?” Jane asked. “You’re going to support her, right ?”

Lars nodded, desperately – that was the first answer he provided the entire time they were over.

Celeste followed suit and used her jacket sleeve to wipe the snot and tears from her face.

Call it schadenfreude, but it was a little funny to Jane – Celeste McMilk, model, sex symbol, was on her couch, and she was an ugly crier. It made the woman she once found to be so perfect, and the epitome of beautiful, to be more human, and relatable.

Lars finally took his phone out of his pocket and typed something in.

“She wants to go by Phoebe now, we wanted to come over and tell you, for her sake. We know that it’s a big adjustment, but we just want our friends and family to know, so our daughter can feel safe, and welcomed in her friends and family’s homes.”

“Phoebe, “ Jane repeated. “Okay, Pheobe. Got it. I’ll let Tim know when he gets home, so he knows too.”

Celeste sniffled and finally started to drink her hot cocoa.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “You’re a good friend, Jane.”

“Don’t feel bad that you didn’t see it right away, I’m sure she was just as scared as you were,” Jane reassured. “I could imagine that it’s a big emotion for a kid to feel, she was probably super confused about her feelings long before she told you.”

Lars typed into his phone to speak.

“We feel guilty, because we didn’t want her to work through her feelings alone. When we took her to the therapist, we still felt guilty, because we felt like she was scared to talk to us and tell us her feelings. We wanted to be approachable and warm to her, we never wanted to make her scared of us.”

“I don’t think she was really scared of you two,” Jane insisted. “I think she just had trouble putting her feelings into words, since they are such big feelings. A kid doesn’t really know what gender dysphoria is, so I’m sure the only information that she could really gather for herself is that she feels like a girl, and she probably felt dumb when she said it out loud, because the mind and the body don’t . . . connect, perse ? She was probably looking at her body and realizing that she didn’t have girl parts, so she couldn’t figure out why she felt like a girl. I’m probably rambling – just thinking out loud.”

“No . . .” Celeste sighed. “You’re right. You have a point. It’s just . . . hard to feel like we didn’t know a thing about what was going on inside her cute, weird little head.”

Lars gave a smile, before he typed into his phone.

“But now we do know, which is a good thing, so that means we can help her. If she decides that this isn’t for her when she gets older, we’ll adjust to that too. We’ll take it all in strides.”

Celeste chuckled quietly before she leaned onto her husband and nodded.

Phoebe came down the stairs and hesitated as she took the last step, before she clung to the railing and looked at Jane with her eyes wide. She seemed to shrink back at Jane’s gaze, before she looked to Lars and Celeste for comfort.

“Did . . . did you tell her ?” she asked.

“They told me, Phoebe,” Jane reassured. “You’re okay.”

“So you know that I’m a girl now ?” she asked.

“Yeah, and I’ll let Mister Tim know too, so he doesn’t make a mistake and think you’re a boy anymore,” Jane claimed. “Can’t have that happening, right ?”

Phoebe smiled and nodded as she stepped back up on the stairs and curtsied.

“Right,” she confirmed.

She ran back upstairs to go back and play with Anya and Taffeta.

“Have you told Randy and Bea ?” Jane asked.

“We went to them just before you guys,” Celeste answered. “And then Anya wanted to come along, just in case Phoebe needed a friend while she was here. So far, everyone’s been very accepting. I told my mom, her wife, and my dad, so they’d know too. We still have to tell Lars’ parents, and I’m pretty nervous about that.”

Lars typed into his phone and bit the inside of his cheek.

“My parents are very old – fashioned. I don’t know if they’re going to understand, or how they’re going to react. I just don’t want them to react badly, and make our daughter feel like she’s someone that she isn’t on the inside. We want her to feel comfortable with all her family, and she really loves my parents, so it would be tough to hear that they don’t want to interact with her, just because she’s herself now.”

“That would be tough,” Jane agreed. “I know what it’s like to not talk to people you care about for a long time, but I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that as a kid, for something you can’t control.”

The door then opened and Tim came inside before he set his briefcase on his desk. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, as he noticed that Celeste and Lars are in the living room with Jane.

“Welcome home, dear,” she joked. “We have company.”

“What did I miss ?” Tim asked.

“Well, Lars and Celeste have some news about their kid,” Jane claimed. “It’s rather important.”

Tim sat down on the couch next to Jane, before he put one leg over the other.

“What is it ?” he asked.

Celeste adjusted her posture and took a deep breath in, in order to give the same speech that she had probably gave about five times that day to other people.

“Felix has decided that she is more comfortable as a girl,” Celeste announced. “She is not our son, she is our daughter, and her name is Phoebe.”

Tim blinked at the news, before he thought to himself for a moment. He actually kind of saw it coming, because all the signs were kind of right there in everyone’s faces – well, he knew that their kid was either transgender or gay, and the former was the one that won. He didn’t want to announce any of his assumptions, because that would be very rude, and could’ve possibly hurt someone’s feelings if he outright pointed out that he thought the poor kid was one of those two things. Their kid liked pink things, princesses, sparkles, she was always one of the girls. She liked to have flowers in her hair and she liked to have her nails painted. He knew he had to act at least a little surprised, because no parent wants to hear ‘I told you so’ from anyone when it concerned your kid.

“Oh ?” Tim asked. “When did you guys find this out ?”

Celeste sipped her cocoa and crossed her legs.

“The day she came home early from school and said she was sick was off – putting to say the least. She never really gets sick, but you know, I didn’t want to sit over here and worry too much, because I wanted to trust that she was sick. When she is sick, she normally gets better within a day, so I was alarmed when she still felt sick the next morning,” Celeste explained. “We took her in to urgent care to see if there was something wrong, and if she needed any other medicine than the over the counter stuff, and the doctor told us that there was nothing physically wrong with her, but suggested that we take her to a therapist, because she seemed to exhibit signs of depression. I didn’t even know kids could be depressed.”

Lars nodded in agreement and pat his wife on the back.

“With the doctor’s suggestion, and Lars’ encouragement, we took her to a child psychiatrist, to see if the psychiatrist had any input to the situation. We wanted to know if there was anything we could do to improve the situation, because we wanted our baby to feel okay, and happy,” Celeste continued. “Then the psychiatrist asked to speak with her alone, just to see if there was anything that she was comfortable saying without us in there. That was terrifying, because we didn’t think that we were that . . . **_scary_** , you know ?”

Tim felt a bit of uneasiness inside of him and he shifted in his seat. He’d hate to be too intimidating to Taffeta. He always wanted to be the one person she could turn to when her feelings were too big for her body. He knew what it was like to have strong feelings that not a lot of people knew about – the only difference was, he couldn’t talk to anyone about those feelings, even his therapist in high school tried to use multitudes of different therapies to get those feelings out of his mind. They were always subconsciously there, no amount of therapy could really change some of the feelings he had, but he learned to inure himself to them, though they would creep back up on him late at night.

At least Jane was there – to hold, to cuddle, to sniff and remind him that everything was okay.

“But after she talked to the psychiatrist, and had a few more visits with her, we finally discussed how she felt, and she . . . this is how she feels comfortable,” Celeste finished. “So, she needed time to adjust to her new life, we got rid of the things that made her uncomfortable and got her things that did make her feel . . . like herself.”

“Have you underwent a legal name change yet ?” Jane asked.

“That would be a good idea,” Tim claimed. “Then the school could be more supportive and make her . . . less dysphoric, if that’s the word for it. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to be called ‘Felix’ by a substitute teacher one day. If her name was legally Phoebe, then the school would have no choice but to change her name on the roster, but I will warn you that it can be a bit of a pain in the neck sometimes.”

“They asked us if we were married, and of course, we said ‘no’, because we aren’t, then we had to give proof that Tim is legally, on the birth certificate, Taffeta’s father and has equal guardianship over her that I do,” Jane explained. “Then we had to sit down and explain that she didn’t have two last names, because both of our last names are ‘Willoughby’, and that she was legally named ‘Taffeta Joy Willoughby’. It was such a pain in our asses, and it can be frustrating, especially with something like a name change.”

“That does sound frustrating,” Celeste agreed. “But we want Phoebe to be comfortable with her life, so I’m sure we’ll make our way to getting her name changed. We don’t have a choice, we have to.”

“It really is, so you’ll need a lot of patience,” Jane claimed. “It really tested mine. I had to have Tim do most of the talking for us after awhile, because I was two steps close to getting on top of that desk and wringing the secretary’s neck out.”

“I mean, she wasn’t very understanding,” Tim mentioned. “She acted like there wasn’t a such thing as platonic coparenting. What about divorced parents ? What about friends that parent a kid ? I talked to the parents of one of the kids in Taffeta’s class, and they were just friends. The kids was one of their nephews, and like their sister was a huge drug addict, while his biological dad was in prison for thirty three years, so they decided that it would be better to adopt him into a loving home than leave him with their sister.”

“Did they have the same problem as you guys ?” Celeste asked.

“No, because the kid took both parents’ last names,” Tim confirmed. “But why would we name Taffeta ‘Taffeta Joy Willoughby – Willoughby’ ? That sounds so ridiculous, you could drop one ‘Willoughby’ and still have a name.”

“It’s not like Tim and I have different last names,” Jane added. “For cosmos sake, not all heterosexual people that reside in the same place and have the same last name are married, and not every married couple has the same last name. Take you guys for example – you still kept McMilk, whether it be for business reasons or personal.”

“If I could drop the ‘McMilk’, I would,” Celeste confirmed. “My mom ended up taking her wife’s last name. It’s still kind of hard to see her as ‘Pearl May Knox’ rather than ‘Pearl May McMilk’. Her signature doesn’t even look like her’s anymore.”

Lars typed into his phone and smiled at his wife.

“But her wedding dress was so pretty !! She actually bought it from you, Jane !!”

“She did ?” Jane asked. “Refresh my memory, what did she look like ?”

“My mom or the dress ?” Celeste asked.

“Your mom,” Jane answered. “I could tell you all about her dress if you tell me what she looked like and a good timeframe of when she came in. I’m curious to know what she picked.”

Tim snickered at Jane’s enthusiasm about the dress. When they were kids, it was her singing, and her music, or her love of adventure and the outdoors. It was strange to see how her interests changed once they all got adopted, because she was introduced to new things. Music changed to makeup, and singing turned to cheer. Adventure turned to fashion, and the outdoors turned to her face being glued to her phone as she obsessively updated her Pictogram – well, she wasn’t as obsessed with her social medias anymore, but they were truly adults in their dirty thirties now, and they had lives outside their screens.

“She’s a little like me, a little taller, and she doesn’t have any scars, but she was a Human Resources director for my entire life before she retired about three years ago, and then she remarried,” Celeste explained. “She has like, platinum silver hair, and she has it cut into a pixie cut, and her eyes are grey, like Phoebe’s –“

“Oh, I remember her !!” Jane exclaimed. “She bought a more bohemian style dress made by Claude Beauchamp – it was a rather unique piece of his, because he’s more of a classic and black tie event kind of designer; a sophisticate if you will. It blew the fashion industry’s mind when he made a bohemian line of dresses, because they were about to label him as a one – trick pony.”

“My manager went on for weeks about that !!” Celeste exclaimed. “He even had a chat with Claude Beauchamp, and got one of the bohemian dresses for Bridal Fashion Week !! It was modeled by Amy Schroder, a friend of mine – Speaking of fashion week, I talked to Phoebe, and she wants to do a beauty pageant.”

Tim and Jane looked at eachother. Both had their viewpoints towards child beauty pageants, and neither really liked them. Why do people like to judge kids based on how cute they looked ? Imagine how devastated those kids must be when judges don’t give them crowns !! They must feel awful !! On top of that, no parent wants to see a label put on their kid’s beauty, because every good parent thought their kids were the most beautiful and perfect things to come to the planet. There was no kid as perfect as Taffeta in both Tim and Jane’s eyes.

“We were going to enter her in one, as a surprise for her . . . transition,” Celeste explained. “Would you guys mind coming, to support her in her first pageant ? If you guys can’t, we wanted to ask if it’s okay if we picked up Taffeta too – Phoebe would love if Taffeta was there to watch her.”

“Uhm, when is it ?” Jane asked.

“We’d love to go,” Tim white – lied. “But, we’d have to know when it was, just so we can see if we’re free that day. We have a doctor’s appointment for Taffeta coming up within a week –“

“Oh, it wouldn’t be for another three months !!” Celeste reassured. “It’s a Christmas pageant down in Rochester, about a week before Christmas.”

“Uhm, we’ll see if we have anything planned !!” Jane reassured. “We’ll let you know if we can come or not.”

Phoebe walked down the stairs with both Taffeta and Anya ( well, Taffeta scooted down the stairs to avoid falling and getting seriously hurt by the stairs ), before they went to the pantry and looked for any sort of snack that Tim and Jane might have stocked inside.

“Oh, actually, it’s getting very close to dinner time,” Celeste mentioned. “We should probably bring you back home, Anya, and Phoebe, we’re going to have raviolis tonight – your favorite.”

“Raviolis ?” Phoebe asked. “That sound delicious !!”

“You’re right, Missus Vinderstromm,” Anya agreed. “My mommy and daddy might be making something good too !!”

The three girls hugged eachother goodbye and Taffeta took a hairclip from her hair that had a crown decal on the side, before she clipped Phoebe’s bangs back, out of her face.

Taffeta followed them to the door and waved goodbye at her friends, as Jane and Tim followed behind and waved goodbye.

“I hope I see you all at school on Monday !!” Taffeta called. “It’s no fun when you all aren’t there !!”

Jane shut the door once everyone else was safe at home.

“I think I’m going to go and shower before dinner,” Taffeta said. “Can we just have T.V dinners tonight ? Then we can get in our blankets and jammies and just watch T.V together.”

“I don’t have any other plans,” Jane answered. “Unless you have any ideas for dinner ?”

Tim shook his head and shrugged.

“Nope, none,” he answered. “Either way, I’m starving, and T.V dinners are fast. We just have to put them in the microwave and they’re done, so that means you should probably take a speedy shower, so your food isn’t cold when you get out, lima bean.”

Taffeta already hiked herself halfway up the stairs by the time Tim was finished with that sentence.

“You got it, poppa !!”

He smiled and chuckled to himself, before he watched her wiggle up the last step.

“So, their kid’s transgender ?” Tim asked Jane.

“Basically,” Jane answered. “Do you think - ?”

“Taffeta is ?” Tim asked. “No, or at least, she doesn’t show any signs of not liking being a girl.”

“No, I was going to bring up someone else that doesn’t seem to like being a girl,” Jane claimed. “Do you think that Maddie’s transgender too ?”

“Maddie ?” Tim asked. “Our niece ?”

“Think about it, Tim,” Jane started. “She hates dresses, would rather be around A. than Patience, hates the color pink so much that she wet her pants the first day of school so she didn’t have to wear that dress the whole day, would rather play with toy trains and racecars than dolls – for cosmos sake, I watched her rip a dolls head off and stuff it full of mud the other day.”

“She could just be a tomboy ?” Tim answered.

“She cut her hair off, Tim,” Jane reminded. “Normally, no matter how tomboyish a four – year – old girl is, they want to keep their hair. It’s a sign of femininity and it made her feel **_ugly_** according to Taffeta.”

“You know Patience would freak out if you told her that her perfect little Madison Rose wanted to be a boy,” Tim warned. “She was so excited to have a little girl to dote on, she was made to be a girl mom.”

“Well, she is married to an openly bisexual, and slightly more . . . flamboyant . . . man,” Jane reminded. “If anything, I know A. would like to be aware of that, because if our suspicions end up being true, then he could slowly teach Patience how to be more accepting of that fact, and bring her more in the loop of those things.”

“Well, if you’re going to tell one of them, tell A. first,” Tim instructed. “I wouldn’t feel right telling Patience first, because I wouldn’t want her to react to something that we know so little about. I mean, we are rather accepting of it, but if we’re being honest, we’re not educated on it. I know the twins know more about that kind of stuff – unlike two heteroes like us.”

Jane snorted at the fact that he just called her ‘heterosexual’, because that simply wasn’t the case. It should go without saying at this point, and the years they’ve been living together, but Jane wasn’t straight. She had a talk with B. a few years back, and he introduced her to the terms ‘aromantic’ and ‘asexual’, which . . . made sense to her. She had no desire for romance, or romantic intimacy ( In all honesty, sex and all that made her rather . . . **_squeamish_** , to say the very least. ). The only reason she ever got into a relationship was because it was what was expected of her as head of the cheer squad, and as a woman, but she valued the platonic relationship she had with Tim over any romantic relationship she could ever possibly have with another.

“Heteroes,” she laughed. “Sure.”

“Come on !!” he whined. “I swear I’m mostly heterosexual !!”

“Okay, straight man,” she chuckled. “What kind of T.V dinner do you want ?”

“What do we have ?” he asked.

“Salisbury steak with gravy and mashed potatoes, lobster macaroni and cheese, spicy Yakitori,” she listed. “Chicken with rice and mixed veggies, turkey with gravy and mashed potatoes and corn.”

“I’ll take the chicken with rice and veggies,” he said.

She handed the T.V dinner to him, as he followed the instructions on the box to heat up his food. She took the Yakitori for herself, and unboxed it before she unwrapped the noodles, and used steaming hot water from the sink to heat up her noodles, as the flavor package was already mixed with the noodles. All Jane had to do was let it sit and the noodles would soften.

She went to the refrigerator to see what kid T.V dinners they had for Taffeta.

“What should she have tonight ?” she asked. “She has macaroni with chicken nuggets and chocolate pudding, chicken nuggets with French fries and a cookie that cooks in the pan, and a personal pizza with corn and a brownie.”

“That pizza sounds pretty good,” Tim answered. “And I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to have pizza tonight.”

They heard a few thumps down the stairs, as Taffeta scooted downstairs, in her star footie pajamas, with a soft, fluffy blanket, and her stuffed moth in tow. She hobbled to the kitchen, before Jane handed Taffeta’s plate to Tim for him to heat up, and she picked her up.

“What are we having tonight, momma ?” she asked.

“Well, you’re having pizza,” Jane answered. “Does that sound good ?”

“Delicious !!” Taffeta giggled. “And it’s even better because the pizzas in the box are little pizzas and that means I don’t have to share them with anybody !!”

“You are exactly right,” Jane agreed. “Those ones really are the best kinds.”

“Can we check on Mortimer and her kitties before we sit down ?” Taffeta asked. “I want to see if she’s doing okay, and if her kitties are doing okay.”

Jane carried Taffeta over to the cardboard box, where Grandpa laid next to the box, and Smokey used Grandpa’s back as a stepstool so he could look over the box and see Mortimer and her kittens too. All five of them were there, and Mortimer had Gus clasped in her paws as she groomed the mewling kitten. The other kittens wee either asleep, or they ate.

“Looks like Smokey wanted to see the kitties too !!” Taffeta giggled.

Jane used her foot to nudge Smokey off of Grandpa, because while they seemed to avoid their handshakes with death, they were both still very, very old cats ( and everyone was surprised that they had lived as long as they did. Still never stopped everyone from periodically checking to see if they were both still alive, but they were definitely cat centurions at this point ).

“Smokey knows he shouldn’t stand on Grandpa like that,” Jane scolded. “They’re both old kitties.”

“You’ve had Smokey since you were little, right momma ?” Taffeta asked.

“Since I was ten, yeah,” Jane answered. “So he’d be about twenty three – ish years old in cat years, but tabby cats live a very, very long time if they’re taken care of, and we spoil those two kitties, don’t we ?”

Jane set Taffeta on the couch, before she went upstairs to grab herself and Tim some blankets, so they could finally settle in and watch T.V for the night and unwind. This was the perfect way to end a week, even though they had a dinner planned tomorrow, with the Wolfes, Vinderstromm – McMilks, A., his family, B., and Sabrina all in attendance to celebrate the kids’ first full week of school ( and they were going to celebrate Phoebe’s week too, because while she wasn’t at school, she went through a bizarre journey of her own this week and that must’ve taken a lot out of her ).

She came back down to see that Tim had settled down with their foods.

“Poppa, can we watch ‘Super Pony Princess’ ?” Taffeta begged. “ ** _Pleeease_** ?”

“Oh, uhm –“ Tim started.

“Well, it is your first full week of school done and over with,” Jane reasoned. “I think you deserve a pick for tonight. Poppa and I can always watch our shows later.”

She smiled to Tim, to let him know that she was willing to sit through that putrid pink, unicorn filled, rainbow vomit that entertained their daughter so much, if only for that night. Besides, with any luck, they’d only have to watch one episode before Taffeta knocked out for the night, maybe three episodes at most.

She clapped as Tim put on the cartoon and sang along to the theme song. Taffeta bounced around to the catchy pop tune and waved her arms as if she was actually flying with the unicorn superhero princess.

Tim leaned over and pulled Jane in for a cuddle.

“It’s nice to see her happy.”

Jane gave a smile and she nodded before she planted a kiss on Tim’s cheek.

“Yeah, even if this dumb show is what makes her happy.”


	5. Inure

◜ ◝ 

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔽𝕚𝕧𝕖 : 

𝕀𝕟𝕦𝕣𝕖 

◟ ◞ 

Jane bit down on her acrylic nail as she paced around the room, Tim was on the vinyl loveseat of the room, and Taffeta was on the examination table, as she swung her legs and looked around the room at all the medical posters. 

It was much different for Taffeta, and a little intimidating, as this place in the hospital was noting like the pediatric ward. There were no toys in the waiting room, and no toys in the hospital room. There were no unicorn posters or superhero posters around the room to comfort her, but there were still posters. She looked for comfort and reassurance in them, to ease her fear of needles ( though she wasn’t there for shots ). Her parents were just as nervous as she was, though she couldn’t tell why. She looked at one poster, that had a quote in it. 

“We become what we behold. We shape our tools, and then our tools shape us. - Marshall McLuhan” 

“Poppa, what are they going to do to me ?” Taffeta asked. “Am I going to get shots ?” 

Tim looked away from Jane, before he managed a weak smile at Taffeta. The outlook on the tests they had done that day weren’t good, there was something wrong with their daughter’s development. She didn’t have the same motor skills as other kids. 

She had weakness in her legs, and he felt like he should’ve caught that earlier, since she always had to get carried when they’d go to the mall. She had trouble with her fine motor skills, and shaky hands ( the doctor claimed that her hands weren’t too shaky, but shakiness still wasn’t a good sign. ). She slouched a little bit when she was in a resting position, and that related to poor posture. She walked with a gait, which meant her legs didn’t develop properly. She still tripped and fell if she had to walk long distances. 

Something was wrong. 

The doctor came back into the room, and Taffeta scooted away and whimpered. Tim got up to comfort her, and he made sure she felt protected and safe. The doctor flipped over the papers and adjusted his glasses. 

“From what we could gather, Mister and Miss Willoughby, Taffeta has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or better known as Lou Gehrig’s disease,” he claimed. “It’s a progressive neurological disorder, that causes her muscles to weaken over time – through blood tests we determined that her biological father has it, and passed it down to her.” 

Jane felt her skin heat at that news. They were supposed to know things like that at the clinic !! They weren’t supposed to accept sperm from donors that could pass on illnesses like this !! She was supposed to **_know_ **these kinds of things. All they told her was the general appearance of the donor ( which was rather pointless, because Taffeta was a carbon copy Willoughby ), which wasn’t as important as the knowledge that Taffeta had a muscular disease. People with diseases like this don’t last very long, or they end up severely crippled, and they suffered so much. She wanted to punch the doctor, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry. 

“So, what can we do about it ?” Tim asked. 

That’s all he could really fathom to ask. He couldn’t find a way to react otherwise, without crying or . . . you know . . . going back to old habits. He nervously cracked his knuckles and awaited any sort of response from the doctor. He held Taffeta close, and squeezed her like it was the last time he was ever going to hold her. He hoped she had a slow progressing case, so she could still live and experience what life had to offer. She was too young to die, and everyone in the room knew that. 

“I would say make the next few years comfortable,” the doctor stated. “You never know if these are going to be her last. Not everyone is a classic Hawking case.” 

“ **_You really had to say that while she was_ ** **_right_ ** **** **_there_ ** !!” Jane shouted. 

Taffeta clung to Tim and looked up at him with wide eyes before she looked to Jane with tears in her eyes, as she trembled in fear at her mother’s reaction. 

“Don’t yell, momma,” she whined. “Please ?” 

“Jane, calm down,” Tim eased. “We’ll get through this, but you can’t fall apart.” 

“ **_Fall_ ** **_apart_ ** ?” Jane asked. “ **_Why am I the only one reacting like a normal human_ ** **_being_ ** ? **_This_ ** **_bastard_ ** **_just said that Taffeta’s going to_ ** **_die_ ** **_in a few years, right in front of_ ** **_her_ ** . **_In front of_ ** **_me_ ** !!” 

“ **_You were going to have to know eventually, Jane_ ** !!” Tim snapped. “ **_We can’t just_ ** **_ignore_ ** **_the situation_ ** . **_We have to actually_ ** **_handle_ ** **_it, like_ ** **_adults_ ** ****!!” 

“ **_Poppa_ ** , **_don’t get mad at her_ ** !!” Taffeta cried. “ **_You_ ** **_never_ ** **_get mad at momma_ ** !!” 

Tim took a deep breath in and sighed, before he felt tears inevitably spill out of his eyes, he couldn’t tell if they were from anger, or if he was sad, or in pain. It was probably a mix of all those things. He simply held Taffeta in his arms and let her cry into him. Taffeta should be the one that should be allowed to be sad, and be allowed to cry. It would be selfish to take that away from her, no matter how badly he felt like crying. 

Jane shoved the doctor towards the door, as she started to cry herself. 

“ **_Get_ ** **_out_ ** !! **_Get the hell out of here_ ** !!” 

The doctor opened the door, and peeked inside. 

“I’ll be back with your bill.” 

“ **_Get_ ** **** **_out_ ** !!” Jane screamed. 

She pushed the doctor out the door and slammed her back against the wooden door, as she slid down the ground and took her glasses off her face. She wiped her own tears and muffled her cries. Jane curled up in a ball and couldn’t stop herself from crying. She couldn’t even imagine a life without Taffeta anymore, and she couldn’t . . . kids were supposed to lose their parents, parents weren’t supposed to bury their kids. Taffeta was five years old. She hadn’t truly lived yet. If she had gone to the doctor’s earlier, maybe Taffeta wouldn’t have this. She would be okay, and she would be like the other kids. 

There was a soft knock at the door, before Jane managed, on wobbly knees, to open the door. There was a young woman, in a puppy dog lanyard, and pink scrubs. Jane looked at her nametag and read ‘Nikki / Pediatric Nurse’ on the plastic. They must’ve sent someone more equipped with kids and these situations to give the Willoughby family their bill. She had crutches in her hand, the bill, stickers, and lollipops in the other. 

“Hi, Miss Willoughby,” she greeted. “May I come in ?” 

Jane stepped away from the door and sniffled before she let the nurse in. The faster they paid their bill, the faster they’d be out of that dreaded room. 

“Hello Taffeta, I heard you had a pretty scary visit,” the nurse greeted. 

Taffeta looked out of Tim’s button – up shirt and sniffled before she nodded. 

“We wanted to give you some crutches, so they might help you feel a little less tired when you have to walk around a lot,” the nurse explained. 

Taffeta let go of Tim and sniffled, before she rubbed her eyes. She looked to Tim, before she looked back at the nurse, and momentarily glanced at Jane, who sat back down on the floor. 

“Do I have to wear them on the playground ?” Taffeta asked. “They don’t let kids with crutches on the playground . . .” 

Taffeta realized how silly that question truly was, as she still wasn’t allowed on the playground. The kids in her class all had taken spots on the playground structure. Whitney and the popular girls still took solstice in the big tree, and threatened to beat Taffeta, Anya, and Phoebe up if they went and told the teacher again ( before Katsuki promptly flicked Phoebe in the nose, and Sophie spit on Anya ). They normally played by the grass patches, where they looked for ladybugs, and ran their own ladybug kingdom. 

“I’m sure you could have your teacher hold onto them while you play with your friends,” the nurse reassured. “You don’t have to listen to that fuddy – duddy Doctor Grisham, you’re still the same Taffeta as you were yesterday, but now you have crutches to help you and make you stronger.” 

Taffeta sniffled and giggled before she slid off the table and took the crutches from the nurse. She slid her arms into the cuffs and tested out how they’d work. She used them to walk from the table to the poster in the room, before she looked up and read again. 

“We become what we behld. We shape our tools, and then our tools shape us. - Marshall McLuhan” 

She smiled, and thought about what it meant, at least to her. These crutches weren’t the end of the world, and she could be a ‘Hawking Case’ or whatever that meant. She walked back to Tim and started to laugh as she looked up at him. 

“Look poppa, I’m walking !!” she laughed. 

Tim managed to smile at her, before he looked to Jane, who was still curled up on the ground. He shook his head, before he focused his attention back on his daughter. 

“You are walking !!” He agreed. “Does it feel any better with the crutches ?” 

Taffeta smiled and giggled. 

“I want to use them to walk all the way to the car !!” she claimed. 

The nurse kneeled down and held out three large stickers, one with an electric guitar, another with a princess crown, and one with a giraffe, as well as a couple different lollipops ( cherry, orange, and grape, respectively ). 

“Would you like a sticker and a lollipop before you go ?” 

Taffeta took the guitar sticker, and the cherry lollipop from the nurse and gave her a smile. 

“Thank you !!” she exclaimed. 

The nurse handed the bill to Tim, and they discussed the payment for everything, as Taffeta used her crutches to walk around the room, and she finally walked over to Jane and looked under, to try and see if her momma was still crying. 

“Look at me, momma,” Taffeta whispered. “I got crutches.” 

Jane looked up and saw that Taffeta indeed had crutches. She wanted to yank them away from her, because she didn’t want her baby to need them, but regardless of if Taffeta had crutches or not, she still had this disease. She wished she could go back in time and choose another donor, not that she hated or regretted Taffeta in the slightest, but if Taffeta could be made by someone else . . . would she really still be Taffeta, or would she be a completely different person ? 

Jane simply nodded, though she was far too exhausted to smile. 

Taffeta handed her the sticker, and put her crutch forward, as she smiled at Jane. 

“Do you want to put my sticker on my crutches, momma ?” she asked. 

She could tell her mother was upset, so she wanted to do whatever she could to make her happy, even though she didn’t quite get what was wrong. She might have been having a bad day, but that only meant she had to help her through it – they were there to help eachother through their bad days, that’s what a family was for. That’s what her poppa always told her. They weren’t going to go through bad days alone. 

Jane took the sticker from Taffeta, before she peeled it off the wax paper, and wrapped it around her daughter’s crutches. She looked up as the nurse left, and Tim stood above them. She could tell that Tim wasn’t happy, but to be completely fair, she wasn’t doing peachy keen either. 

“Get up,” he said. “Let’s go.” 

“She’s having a bad day, poppa,” Taffeta reasoned. “We all have our bad days, remember ?” 

“There’s no reason your momma should be having a bad day,” Tim claimed. “Let’s go, so we can get home and get started on dinner.” 

Jane got up and adjusted her sweater dress, before she allowed Taffeta to walk in front of her. She reached out to hug Tim, who rejected her, and followed Taffeta out the door. 

“Tim ?” she asked. 

He ignored her. 

She sniffled and put her glasses back on, as she followed her family out the door. What she needed in that moment was a hug. She needed to be told that everything was going to be okay. She needed affection. She didn’t want to go back to that cold place she was all those years ago. 

Jane caught up with Taffeta and Tim, before she reached for his hand, but he still didn’t hold it. 

“Please ?” she whispered. 

“We have to talk first,” he responded. “Not here, but later.” 

“I need a hug,” she claimed. “Please ?” 

He kept his eyes straight forward, because he wasn’t going to let Jane make him soft, because he knew if he went soft right then and there, that he wouldn’t be able to be there for Taffeta. He couldn’t be the soft and affectionate one, he needed to be the rock, that was his job as the man, and quite possibly where he failed with Queen. She needed a rock, and he was always too soft, and too wrapped up in his feelings. 

She looked down, and she couldn’t look at him. It was like she didn’t even know him. Why wasn’t he emotional ? Why didn’t he care as much as she did ? He always talked about how Taffeta was his baby too, so why was he being so distant from the situation. She fiddled with her acrylic nails and tapped them. She wanted to pull them off, but she knew how painful that would be. 

Taffeta went and pressed the button for handicapped people to use, as they walked out of the office and towards the station wagon. She waited for Tim and Jane to meet her there at the car, before Tim helped her into her booster seat, and she put her crutches to the side. 

“Can I show Anya and Phoebe my crutches when we get home ?” she asked both her parents. 

“I don’t see why not,” Jane answered. “I’m sure they’d love to see you after you were gone from school today.” 

“Do I tell them that I have the sickness ?” Taffeta asked. “Or is it supposed to be a secret ?” 

“Go ahead,” Tim answered. “I’m sure they’ll have questions. It would be a little strange for them to see you without crutches one day and with them the next day.” 

“I can’t wait to show them my crutches !!” Taffeta giggled. “They’re so cool !!” 

Neither parent really responded to her comments, they just kept their eyes focused on the road. 

Jane reached over and put her hand on Tim’s shoulder, before he shrugged it away and reached for the radio, before he tuned it to their normal station that played the most recent music hits in the past few years. He pushed her hand back to her ( for multiple reasons ), as she reached down and put her hand on his thigh. It was quiet, all except the music that came from the radio. 

“Coming up next, we have one that’s an oldie, but a goodie – one all you crazy parents might remember having your first kiss in the driver’s seat of your pick – up truck to . . .” 

Jane managed to smile as she heard the familiar guitar strums to an old song from her past. Maybe the memory wasn’t as fond in her mind, but the song always would be. It was a soft country song, the exact one that played in Troy’s room during her first kiss. Maybe the room smelled way too much like a middle school locker room, and maybe it was a little hard to look at Celeste now without thinking of the fact that Jane was face to face with her cleavage in a bikini while Troy attacked her face like a weird lizard, but the song was very sweet. 

She leaned against the window and looked out at the city, as they drove the rest of the way home, and found that comfort once again. She didn’t want to move back into the city, especially with the cozy home life she created back at House Willoughby. It was nice to come home to Tim and Taffeta everyday, even if things weren’t doing so well at the moment. They made it back home, and pulled into their driveway, as they watched to see that the Wolfe boys were in the front yard of Bea and Randy’s house. The three boys fixed the drone that Tim and Jane gave them all those years ago. In front of Celeste and Lars’ house were the girls, as they played a pretend picnic with their dolls and toys. 

Taffeta was helped out of the car by Tim, as she used her crutches to walk to the Vinderstromm – McMilk's front yard. 

“Look guys !!” she shouted. “I got crutches.” 

Tim and Jane went inside the house, and Tim slammed the front door behind himself, which startled the cats. Smokey and Grandpa scampered back upstairs. Mortimer picked up Dot and carried her back to the cardboard box where all of Mortimer’s kittens laid. 

“You can’t just fall apart, Jane,” Tim commented. “You can’t do what you did in the hospital. You have to pull yourself together, for Taffeta. What use are you if you’re going to mope like a child ?” 

Jane felt tears brim her eyes as he called her a child. She was not a child, she was worried about their daughter. He couldn’t have been that stupid, or heartless to not worry about her as much as she did. 

“ **_Tim_ ** , **_I’m_ ** **_scared_ ** **** !!” Jane whined. “ **_The doctor said she could only have a few years left before her body_ ** **_completely_ ** **_shuts down on her, she’s_ ** **_five_ ** -” 

“ **_And you_ ** **_freaking_ ** **** **_out_ ** **_about it doesn’t make her any_ ** **_less_ ** **_scared than you are_ ** !!” Tim claimed. “ **_We aren’t_ ** **_allowed_ ** **_to be_ ** **_scared_ ** **_right_ ** **_now_ ** !! **_She needs_ ** **_us_ ** **_when_ ** **_she’s_ ** **_scared, and we_ ** **_can’t_ ** **_be scared, because it’s only going to make her_ ** **_more_ ** **_scared than she already is_ ** !!” 

“ **_That is the_ ** **_meanest_ ** **_thing I’ve ever_ ** **_heard_ ** !!” 

“ **_And you’re being so_ ** **_selfish_ ** !!” 

Jane felt the tears come down her face when he called her selfish, because her concerns were far from selfish. He was the selfish one !! He didn’t even care !! 

“ **_I’m_ ** **_selfish_ ** ?” she asked. “ **_You don’t even_ ** **_care_ ** !!” 

“ **_Don’t you_ ** **_dare_ ** **_say I don’t care_ ** !!” Tim snapped. “ **_Goddamn_ ** **_it, Jane, I obviously_ ** **_care_ ** **_more than you, because I want to cry, and fall apart, but I know I can’t do that, because_ ** **_Taffeta’s_ ** **_feelings are what_ ** **_matter_ ** **_the most right_ ** **_now_ ** !! **_You’re_ ** **_too busy crying about how_ ** **_you_ ** **_feel to put on a happy face, and make_ ** **_her_ ** **_feel better about the_ ** -” 

“ **_Momma_ ** !! **_Poppa_ **!!” 

They looked away from eachother to see that Taffeta had come back inside, she backed away from the door and started to cry again. 

They both ran from where they stood and wrapped her in a hug, before they wiped the tears from her face. 

“ **_D_ ** \- **_Don’t_ ** **_fight_ ** !!” Taffeta cried. “ **_I_ ** \- **_It’s_ ** **_all_ ** **_my_ ** **_f_ ** – **_fault_ ** !! **_I_ ** – **_I_ ** **_sh_ ** **** \- **_shouldn’t_ ** **_have_ ** **_gotten_ ** **_sick_ **!!” 

“You’re right, Taffeta, you shouldn’t have gotten sick,” Jane agreed. “But don’t you **_ever_ **say that it’s your fault that you got sick. It’s not your fault at all, my sweet baby.” 

“It’s not your fault you got sick, lima bean,” Tim soothed. “S - Sometimes we just get a little scared, is all.” 

“ **_D_ ** \- **_Don’t_ ** **_yell at_ ** **_eachother_ ** **_, because I got sick_ ** !!” she whined. “ **_I don’t want you to be mad at_ ** **_eachother_ ** **_, b – because I’m sick_ **!!” 

“I’m not mad at your poppa,” Jane soothed. “I could never be mad at him.” 

That was a lie, because Jane was incredibly frustrated with the way he was acting. It was so frustratingly immature of him. Taffeta needed to cry, and she needed to be shown that it was okay to be scared. Being scared of dying or getting sick is natural – human even. She had no idea why he’d been so uncaring towards everything, why he had gone back to his old way of thinking. 

“Your momma can be **_frustrating_ ** , yes,” Tim claimed. “But I don’t **_hate_ ** her, and we’re not **_mad_ ** at **_you_ **. We’re mad at the world, I guess.” 

“I don’t want you to fight, I want you to love eachother,” she whimpered. 

“We **_do_ ** care about eachother ,” Jane reassured. “Sometimes, when people get scared, they don’t know how to act or react to things. You being sick is . . . **_scary_ **, for all of us.” 

“ **_But we want to be strong_ ** , **_for you_ ** , **_because we don’t want you to_ ** . . .” Tim stopped. 

He started to sniffle and then he cried as he brought Taffeta in close. 

“ **_We didn’t want you to see us cry too_ **.” 

Jane pulled herself into the hug too, but she didn’t cry. Tim was right. Taffeta didn’t need to see her cry all the time. She was used to Tim bawling his eyes out like a baby, but Jane was the strong parent. She rarely cried. She went for years without love, affection, feelings . . . she didn’t need them to get in the way now. Taffeta needed that strong, independent momma that everyone prided themselves on. Tim was the crier, not Jane – she needed to remember that. 

“So you aren’t mad at eachother ?” she asked. 

“No,” Tim answered. 

“Never,” Jane added. “And we’re not mad at you.” 

Tim hugged his family and sniffed. 

“You know, I’m not really feeling like cooking tonight,” Tim claimed. “Why don’t we just order pizza and have a movie night in the living room ?” 

Jane nodded in agreement; this wasn’t really a cooking kind of day. If anything, she wanted to sleep off the stress she underwent, she wanted to cuddle with Tim, regardless of how angry he had made her that day. She wanted to have a quiet moment in the house with her family, because as the doctor said. Who knows how many years they had left of quiet family time ? Who knows how many more years they would have with Taffeta ? Once Taffeta was gone, who knows if Tim and Jane were going to still be on the same path in life ? 

“Can we get Hawaiian pizza ?” Taffeta asked. 

Tim and Jane looked at eachother, and for the first time, truly, that day, they smiled and shared a chuckle, as they remembered the time that they stayed at the Suncrest Inn, turned their jacuzzi tub into a hot tub, and ate Hawaiian pizza as they talked about the little lima bean that grew in Jane’s tummy. Much happier times. 

“Of course we can,” Tim agreed. “Anything for my little lima bean.” 

“You can go back outside and play with your friends until the pizza comes,” Jane claimed. 

“Let me get my moth first,” Taffeta answered. 

She broke from the hug, and they watched and listened as her crutches made a new tippity – tap noise up the stairs, in comparison to her butt as it thudded against each and every step. 

Jane felt Tim’s arm around her shoulder, and she looked to him before he wrapped her in a hug. No apologies, just a hug. 

It was honestly what they both needed in that moment. 


	6. The Willoughby's Nadir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || DISCLAIMER !! ; This chapter is a true mature rated chapter, so please don't say I didn't warn you !! This chapter involves explicit alcohol usage, as well as referenced ( and outright stated ) prostitution ( but nothing smutty or explicit happens !! ). it's still a good chapter, but I wanted to warn you all beforehand !! Happy reading !! ❤  
> ❇ || I also have a disclaimer on my Tumblr for this AU, which I advise you read !! ( @mommajaneandpoppatimau on Tumblr !! )

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣  𝕊𝕚𝕩  :

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕓𝕪'𝕤 ℕ𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕣

◟ ◞

Tim looked over his shoulder to see that Jane was fast asleep. It was one in the morning, and after the day they all had, he needed something to take the edge off. It was nighttime, he’d be back before they even realized he was gone. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, since it was a Monday morning, but it was fine. He’d be okay. He’d done this before, and got away with it. It’s whatever.

He planted a peck on his sister’s cheek, before he got out of bed. He  pet both Grandpa and Smokey on their heads, before he went into Taffeta’s room to check on her before he left. He wanted to see if she was awake, because if she was, that meant he couldn’t go. He stepped quietly into the room, and peeked over her blankets to see that she was fast asleep with her moth in her arms. He got on his knees and kissed her on her forehead, before he went back into the bedroom.

Tim picked a baseball cap out of his closet, a jacket, sunglasses, before he switched his pajama pants for jeans, and put his shoes on. He grabbed his wallet and flipped through his money . . . it should be enough, unless he wanted more than what he was set on for that night. He grabbed his keys and went out the door.

He felt an unfamiliar chill come throughout his body. Normally, when he did these things, his addict brain got excited, but in that moment, he felt guilt. There wasn’t a twinge of excitement. He wanted to turn back, he knew he should turn back, but he didn’t, and before he knew it, he was at the liquor store on Sixth Street.

Tim shrugged the jacket up in an attempt to cover his face as he walked inside the place. It hadn’t changed a bit. There were still neon signs that buzzed as they hung above select freezers of certain brands. The linoleum tiles were cracked, and still had the look of a forever set filth  ( he still couldn’t believe that he snorted cocaine off the floor of this  place ) . It was wall to wall with assorted boozes, and there were still shelves of various snacks, and a slushie machine that only provided one flavor of slushie, even though there were three different dispensers.

He knew where he had to go, so he didn’t act like he was just window shopping, as he went to the refrigerated cabinet where the wine coolers were. He picked up a few boxes of those plastic – y tasting brownies that were shaped like rocket ships, and he picked up stomach medicine, just in case his hangover was too bad and he did actually have to stay home from work to recoup. This was just a  one night thing, and that’s what he planned to keep it as. He found out that his kid, his only one, had a normally fatal disease – give the man a break.

He walked up to the counter and held his head down, before he froze at the sound of the man’s voice at checkout.

“I.D.”

Tim pulled out his wallet and reluctantly handed his I.D to the man, and he still looked away.

“Well, if it isn’t Tim goddamned Willoughby. I knew that I’ve seen that bean pole ass body around here before,” the man said. “Back for more ? For an extra fifty, I'll throw in a bag of snow.”

“Shut up, Skip, I don’t want people to know I’m here,” Tim hissed.

Skip looked around the empty liquor, before he looked back up at Tim.

“You know what I mean, jackass,” Tim muttered.

“I wouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you, Willoughby,” Skip commented. “You know what happens to customers that act out of line. We know where your precious little wife is.”

“I’m not married,” Tim claimed. “So, joke’s on you.”

“I heard you had a baby,” Skip continued. “And you moved with your bitch over to  Rosevalle .”

“Don’t call her a bitch !!” Tim snapped. “You leave my family out of this shit. This is a  one time thing, I just want to take my wine coolers and piss off out of here.”

“That’s what you said when you first started coming here.”

“I mean it, Skip.”

“That’ll be forty – six fifty three,” Skip dismissed.

“The wine coolers cost twenty six, and the brownies cost -”

“Keep up with the shit, Willoughby, and I’ll have that bitch woman of yours and that kid gone by next week.”

If it wasn’t for the fear of what he could possibly do to Jane and Taffeta, Tim would’ve jumped over the counter and started to choke Skip out. He simply let Skip ring up his total before he took the bag away from the man behind the counter. Tim shrugged his jacket up again and felt his back heat up as he left.

“See you next week.”

He wouldn’t, Tim would make an effort  every day to show that bastard that he wouldn’t.

Tim was about to get into his station wagon, before a sleek pearly white car pulled in front of his station wagon, and someone that was all too familiar got out, except this person was in a way he had never seen him before. He was in platform heels, nylon stockings clipped to a garter belt, a denim mini – skirt, and a crop top. He wore glittery eyeshadow, stick on nails, with a purse slung around his shoulder, and he put his hand in the car.

“You know the drill, Ricky Rich.”

Tim stood in awe as he watched the exchange happen, as he put the wine coolers on the floor of the passenger seat. It wasn’t long before the other man noticed him, and then it was  unmistakable who the man was.

“Tim ?”

“What in the actual hell ?” Tim commented. “A. ?”

“Oh my god !!” A. exclaimed.

“What are you doing  here ? ” Tim asked.

“What are you doing  here ? ” A. snapped. “Don’t tell me you’re doing coke again, because I may be in heels, but I will beat your ass right here !!”

“Get in line, there’s a few people ahead of you,” Tim exclaimed. “You better get in the car before someone sees you out here like this.”

“You have to book an appointment before I get in the car with you,” A. claimed. “My boss will kill me if I leave my post for free.”

“An  appointment ? ” Tim asked.

“I can tell you’ve done this a million times,” A. deadpanned. “You need to pay me for my time, even if you’re not soliciting my services. My boss needs the money, and I do too.”

“My god, gross,” Tim sighed. “Okay, what do I  do ? ”

“You’re not too hot yourself either,” A. snarked. “Here.”

He pulled out a notebook and pen from the purse he had, before he handed them both to Tim.

“Use an alias, I don’t care,” A. said. “But I’m going to need one hundred dollars, cash, per hour you’re going to pull me away from here.”

Tim signed the notepad as ‘Dirk  Oswaldus ’, before he pulled out his wallet and gave the money to  A..

They were about to get into Tim’s station wagon, before A. stopped him from getting into the driver’s seat.

“I haven’t done anything yet !!” Tim complained. “I’m sober.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to waste time giving you directions to where we need to go,” A. explained. “Unless you’re going to pay for the rest of the night, but I have to be at home for work by six.”

“I have a job too you know,” Tim reminded. “I have to be home by at least four, so Jane doesn’t realize I’m out.”

“Figured she wouldn’t know you were out here,” A. muttered.

Tim reached over and grabbed a wine cooler from the case and popped the tab on the aluminum can, before he started to drink from it.

“Yeah, because I’m going to tell her ‘Hey Jane, I know we’ve settled down and we have a kid together and all that domestic stuff, but I’m going to go and get absolutely ‘effing wasted tonight, is that cool with  you ? ’,” Tim noted. “What do you tell Patience you’re doing all  night ? I’m sure she would be heartbroken if she ever found out that  you’re . . .”

“A whore ?” A. asked. “Just say it, it’s the  **_ job _ ** .”

“Yeah,” Tim sighed. “ **_ That _ ** .”

“She thinks I work at the liquor store,” A. answered. “I mean, that’s sort of true, at least. I normally hang around here, this is where I’m normally posted. I look better when people are drunk.”

“Don’t say that -” Tim started.

“Don’t patronize me,” A. interrupted. “We both know it’s true, and my boss won’t let me come to work in jeans and a tank – top. A majority of people that finance us are men, not that I have a problem with that, but many men want women, and news flash, I’m not a woman.”

“Then why are you doing  this ? ” Tim asked.

“Patience doesn’t actually work a steady, clean cut job, and I know her family would hate me if I constantly kept asking for money. I’m the man of the house, and it’s my responsibility to take care of Patience and Maddie,” A. explained. “They like to have nice things, or at least Patience does. She’s used to a specific lifestyle that her dad could give her, but as a mechanic, I can’t afford.”

“ So you chose . . .  this ? ” Tim asked.

“It wasn’t my first choice either,” A. argued. “I tried other places, but I either wasn’t experienced enough or they weren’t looking for someone like me. I tried bartending, but they wanted to send me to bartending school, which I had to pay for, and I couldn’t. I tried to drive the transit buses, but they decided they wanted someone else that was available full time. I tried to work at the subway, but the hours didn’t match mine. I  **_ had  _ ** to. Work is work, Tim, and I’m sorry that this job isn’t your regular nine – to – five desk job.”

“Look, I’m the last one to be judging you right now,” Tim reassured. “I’m just saying that Patience would be hurt if she found out that you did this. Don’t you love her ?”

“Why  **_ wouldn’t  _ ** I love  her ? ” A. snapped. “If I could have all the money in the damn world, I would still give it to her. I want her and Maddie to be happy, they matter more than anyone else I know. Do you even realize what you’re  doing ? ”

Tim looked at the wine cooler in his hand as they pulled up to a sleezy looking motel with a neon sign that read ‘The Silver Fox’. He picked up the case  ( along with the  brownies ) and carried it inside with  A.. He walked behind A., with his head down, just in case anyone from work had decided to solicit services much like A.’s in the motel. It would be an awkward water cooler conversation if he caught anyone from work in here.

They approached a room, and luckily A. had the key, so they could get in without anyone seeing them.

“Want a wine  cooler ? ” Tim offered.

“You’re a real bastard, you know  that ? ” A. commented.

“Indulge me,” Tim insisted. “I’m not going to make this a regular habit. I just had a shit day.”

Tim tossed a wine cooler to A., before he opened the box of brownies as well, and threw the first one at A..

“What happened to  you ? ” A. asked.

Tim sat on the bed, and he didn’t quite care how grody the bed possibly was, as he leaned back on it.

“We had to take Taffeta into the doctor today, for that . . . appointment . . .” Tim answered. “She has A.L.S, that thing that Hawking had. You know the thing that put him in a wheelchair.”

The twin seemed to jump at the news, before he cracked open his own wine cooler and took a sip.

“Isn’t that normally  fatal ? ” A. asked.

Tim nodded as he finished his wine cooler, crushed the can, and threw it into the garbage can. He was scared to look inside the bin, because with the fact of A.’s profession put into perspective, cosmos knows what’s in there, and Tim did not want to find out. He took another from the case and cracked it open.

“How’d Jane take the  news ? ” A. asked. “Hard, I bet.”

“Real hard,” Tim confirmed. “She’s scared, but I just – I want us to be strong for Taffeta. Crying and whining at the world, and asking  ‘ Why me ?’ over and over again, isn’t going to help Taffeta adjust to everything, and that’s all Jane seems to want to do.”

“That’s her daughter, Tim,” A. reminded. “She gave birth to that kid, and carried her inside her for nine months. There’s like this weird . . .  **_ bond _ ** , between a mom and their kid. Patience gets worked up over certain things too, that I don’t really get. When Maddie cut her hair, Patience cried for hours about it, because doing Maddie’s hair was one of Patience’s favorite things to do, but now she doesn’t really have hair to do anymore. Now I’m subjected to getting fishtail braids on nights that I’m off.”

“Do you think Maddie’s  transgender ? ” Tim asked. “Lars and Celeste’s kid ended up being transgender – she and Maddie kind of act alike in behaviors, in my opinion.”

“Are you already getting drunk ?” A. asked.

Tim realized he might’ve overstepped when he mentioned it, but in that moment, he felt like someone should bring it up to  A.. Normally, he was the one against telling parents things like that about their kid, but it seemed as if A. and Patience were rather oblivious with how much Maddie disliked being a girl. He had never noticed a girl so angry and upset to wear dresses, or have her hair done. Taffeta loved those things  ( and there wasn’t a day that had gone by where Taffeta hadn’t worn a dress or at the very least, a skirt . ) , but in Phoebe’s case, she loved those things too, despite being male at birth.

“No,” Tim said. “But, it’s somethin’ you could think about.”

Tim squinted at the ground as he questioned himself. Was he drunk ?

“Hm,” A. acknowledged. “Patience wouldn’t like that.”

Then, he laughed for a moment before he shook his head.

“Sabrina actually predicted that we’d have a boy, with those weird tarot card things,” A. mentioned. “We both thought it was horsecrap, even before we actually found out that Maddie is a girl.”

“Would you be upset if Maddie decided one day to be a  boy ? ” Tim asked.

“I know I wouldn’t care,” A. confirmed. “Patience and I aren’t against transgender people. What I meant was, Patience was incredibly excited to have a girl. It’s been a lifelong dream of hers, it would feel like something got ripped away from her if Maddie decided she would be more comfortable as a guy.”

Tim crushed his second can before he tossed it into the bin and hiccupped quietly. He felt a tad bit feverish. Maybe he would have to call in sick from work. He had enough sick days that he could take one off to deal with a future hangover.

“You’re already drunk ?” A. asked. “Damn, for a recovoring alcoholic, you’re sure a lightweight.”

“I’m not drunk,” Tim insisted. “I still have to fake being sober when I get home.”

“I don’t think you’re going to be able to fake being sober if you keep drinking at the rate you are, and I am not lugging you out of this motel room,” A. commented. “I can’t believe I’m in here with you anyways.”

“I really should’ve closed my eyes and left you there on that street corner,” Tim commented.

“But you didn’t,” A. responded. “Look, I could’ve gotten a bunch of money tonight, but here I am with you, drinking wine coolers, and eating brownies, when I’m supposed to be working.”

“Sick,” Tim responded.

The twin drank the rest of the wine cooler and threw it into the garbage bin, before he cracked another one.

“At least you brought the wine coolers, because I would’ve probably kicked your ass if I was completely sober,” A. claimed. “I love it when clients bring alcohol, and sometimes they bring drugs, like molly.”

“Molly ?” Tim asked. “No coke ?”

“I’m not you, Tim,” A. claimed. “I don’t do cocaine. It’s too addicting, and I know that I can’t be going through cocaine  withdrawls in front of my family.”

“To be fair, I would’ve bought cocaine tonight if it wasn’t a Monday,” Tim claimed. “Then, I could be out all day and nobody would suspect a thing. Lie and say I was busy today to Jane so I could get off  scot free.”

“This is why I’m surprised you’ve maintained relationships, and a marriage throughout your life,” A. pointed out. “You’re a piece of shit.”

“And here you are, with me, doing the same thing I’m doing,” Tim reminded. “On top of that, mine and Jane’s relationship is very healthy. Probably one of the healthiest ones I’ve ever had between another person.”

“I beg to differ,” A. snorted.

“What does  **_ that  _ ** mean ? ” Tim asked.

He didn’t respond. A. simply grabbed another wine cooler and cracked it open, before he took a sip.

“You can’t say anything, A. !!” Tim exclaimed. “You dated Fannie Martinelli, who was by far one of the biggest psychopaths I have ever met – she once ate a fish raw off the hook at one of our fishing trips. On top of that, you’re out here, cheating on your wife.”

“It’s not cheating if it’s a job,” A. excused.

“ **_ I  _ ** beg to differ,” Tim claimed. “I’m sure she would too.”

Tim was pushed back on the bed by A. and gagged as A. yanked the collar of Tim’s tank – top close to himself. He felt A.’s eyes pierce into parts of his soul that he didn’t think existed. New parts of yourself are discovered when you’re drunk, or at least that’s what Tim thought in the moment.

“You better keep your hands off of Jane when you get back tonight,” A. whispered, though his tone seethed in venom. “ So help me if I find out you . . . I will  wring your neck so hard, that all the blood vessels in your face pop. Got  it ? Don’t you hurt her, or  Taffeta. I mean it.”

Tim couldn’t quite wrap his thoughts around what A. said, or why he threatened him, but he knew that it was better to simply go along with it, rather than argue any further. He didn’t escape Skip’s ass whooping just to get the shit beat out of him from  A.. Jane would definitely have questions if he came back home all messed up.

Tim nodded, and A. got off of him.

“You keep me, and my business out of your mouth,” A. ordered. “And you leave Maddie and Patience out of it. They don’t need to understand, they don’t need to know.”

Tim cleared his throat as he got up from the bed. He handed the case of wine coolers to A., before he brushed himself off.

“Take those back with you, so your coworkers could have something to drink,” Tim insisted.

“You’re not going to drink anymore,  boozehound ? ” A. asked.

Tim rolled his eyes at the comment before he went into the bathroom and clicked on the  light switch .

“I’m not trying to make a habit out of this,  remember ? ” Tim reminded. “Besides, If I drink that entire case, I’ll smell like alcohol when I get home.”

“You smell like alcohol right now,” A. claimed.

“Whatever,” Tim answered. “Jane won’t be up for a few more hours anyway. I could shower before then.”

“We better get going,” A. claimed. “Your hour’s almost up.”

Tim shuttered at the last sentence as the information truly settled in his mind of what he did that night. Regardless of whether or not it’s A. and nothing happened between them besides some conversation, he bought prostitution services, which was something he was never comfortable with when he found out what that was. That could’ve been a reason why he was so uncomfortable when he found out what A. had been doing these past few years, or maybe because A. was his brother, and we  wasn’t used to the sight of him . . .  **_ like that  _ ** ( Not that he found A. to be attractive in anyway, because he was still well aware that was his brother, and that he wasn’t particularly interested in men. ).

Tim washed his face off with the water, but still gagged quietly over the giant dead cockroach in the corner of the bathroom. There really was a reason that a place like this was called a ‘sleezy motel’, because it was grimy like most of the people inside. He didn’t consider A. to be grimy, but what he did was far beyond grimy. It was straight up nasty in Tim’s eyes. He exited the bathroom and followed A. back downstairs, where they got back into Tim’s station wagon  ( and A. still took the driver’s seat, since Tim was a little more intoxicated than he was ).

The twin took a small bag out of his purse and shuffled around for a makeup brush and an eyeshadow  palette , before he flipped the sun shade down and examined his face in the mirror.

Tim watched in both astonishment and confusion as his brother put on makeup in his car. He didn’t even think A. knew what an eyeshadow brush was, or that there was a difference between brushes. His bachelor party made Tim think that he was absolutely clueless when it came to feminine things, since Sabrina had to do his makeup, but with the skill and dexterity A. used in reapplying his makeup, it’s obvious that he wasn’t.

“ What ? ” A. asked.

“ What ? ” Tim asked in response.

“It wouldn’t make sense to ask Patience to help me apply makeup before I went to work,” A. explained. “Then she’d know something was up. I learned by watching  Tubeyfeed and Pictogram videos, and some of the girls I work with taught me a few things.”

Tim nodded in agreement as he leaned back in the chair. He looked at the clock on the radio. Three in the morning. Perfect. Then he’d still have enough time to go home, shower, and maybe get at least an hour of shut eye before he had to get up and pretend that he was too sick to work today. He knew he could play off sick, because his stomach didn’t quite agree with him. Jane simply had to stay out of the bathroom, or he needed to puke before he came home. Either way, he had a plan.

He yawned and A. yawned along with him.

“It’s going to be a long night,” A. complained. “I have to go back to work and act like none of this happened.”

“You know, Jane and I could always give you and Patience money,” Tim claimed. “We could give you enough until you find a better job for yourself  -”

“I’m fine doing this,” A. interrupted. “I’m not a charity case, I don’t need your money.”

“It’s not a charity thing, it’s family helping family out,” Tim clarified.

“You’re the last person I’d want help from, if you want me to be blunt about it,” A. hissed. “I can do things by myself. I don’t need  money; I don’t need help.”

Tim thought to himself for a moment. A. and Jane really had a lot in common – independent, impulsive, slightly inconsiderate, emotional  ( though they’d never admit it ).

The car started as A. took Tim’s keys out of his purse and they drove back to the liquor store on Sixth Street. A. exited the car, as he took the wine coolers and tossed the keys to Tim.

“Remember, not a word about this to anyone,” A. reminded. “Or I’ll kick your ass into next week.”

Tim nodded and watched A. walk up to a few other women that hung out in front of the liquor store, as they all counted their money, and talked about various things that Tim didn’t care enough to make out.

Tim swapped to the driver’s seat and pulled out the front of the liquor store before he realized that he definitely shouldn’t have drank on an empty stomach, as his vision was a little garbled.

He continued on, and eventually made it back home, even though he missed a few turns and had to go through  Lanesborough Avenue, the alleyway behind  Rottsville Boulevard, circled around Kitteridge Circle more times than he’d ever like to admit ( it was a dam  cul – de – sac for crying out loud ), and passed by the same few houses a few times before he realized that he was around the same houses that weren’t his ( whoever lived there would’ve been pretty suspicious if they were awake ), before he finally made it back into the comfort of his driveway. He picked up the bag that contained the stomach medicine before he took his key from the ignition and had to individually sort through each and every key to find the house key.

He got out of his station wagon, after he locked it and walked back inside  ( stumbled over the porch steps in the process, but luckily nobody was awake to see it, as far as he was  aware ) . He put the stomach medicine on the table, before he put his keys and wallet down as well.

Tim cleared his throat as he walked back up the stairs, and held a death grip onto the railings so he wouldn’t trip and cause anyone to wake up. He couldn’t draw attention to himself, especially with the way he currently smelled. He made his way down to the bedroom with a bit of a struggle, as he would have to catch his balance, and observe to see if there were any nosy kitties that made their way out to see what Tim was up  to. He couldn’t step, slip, or trip on Smokey, Mortimer, Grandpa, or any of the kittens, because Jane and Taffeta would be hysterical if any of the animals got hurt.

He eventually made it to Taffeta’s room to see that she hadn’t moved from her bed, and was still sound asleep in her bed.

That was a good sign.

He opened the door and saw that Jane was still asleep, also a good sign.

He went and opened the door to the bathroom before he heard a shuffle come from the bed, and a soft whimper. Tim hid behind the bathroom door, to see that Jane had woken up, and she rubbed her eyes before she turned to look at him.

“Tim ?”

“Hey,” he greeted.

“What are you doing  up ? ” she asked.

For a minute, he forgot about his lie, but luckily, he wasn’t drunk enough to completely forget.

“I don’t feel good,” he answered. “I threw up.”

He hadn’t just yet, but he sure would if his s tomach didn’t settle.

“Need me to go get you some  medicine ? ” she asked.

“No,” he answered. “No need. Just got some.”

“You  sure ? ” Jane asked.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to call out  sick ? ” 

He rolled his eyes at her question before he plastered a fake smile on his face.

“Yeah, just for today,” Tim answered. “I’ll probably feel better by the morning.”

“Mmh, okay.”

She laid back down and covered herself in the blankets, which meant that he got away with everything for that night. He still had the goal of never doing this again after tonight, but it seemed that nagging voice only grey a little louder – the one that encouraged him to drink.

He shook his head, truly threw up in the toilet that night, before he showered to get the gross  alchol smell off of him. He brushed his teeth again, in an attempt to get it off his breath, before he went back out, changed into a new set of pajamas, and got back in bed with Jane.

Tim felt a soothing warmth behind him, before he felt a hand interlock with his as Jane scooted behind him, and kissed the back of his head.

He couldn’t quite explain why ( he blamed it on the  alcohol ), but he really liked that.

“I hope you feel better,” she sighed.

Tim nodded in agreement, but he felt that feeling of guilt that he had felt earlier. A. was right, he should’ve stayed home with his family that night,  Everything had been so rough that day, and he did kind of abandon Jae and Taffeta for such incredibly selfish reasons. He  squeezed Jane’s hand and pulled it to his lips to plant a kiss back.

He could tell that he wouldn’t be able to sleep that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || I want to again apologize for the awkward formatting !! 🥺🙃


	7. Denied Epiphany

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣  𝕊𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟  :

𝔻𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕪

◟ ◞

Phoebe balanced on the edge of the basketball court, with her arms out as she walked across, in an attempt to walk in a straight line. She bit her tongue in intense focus, as Taffeta and Anya both watched her practice her pageant walk. Phoebe sucked in her stomach as far as she could as she furrowed h er eyebrows.

“ So you have to walk  straight ? ” Anya asked. “That is so  boring !! I don’t like when things are straight, because it takes so much effort. It takes me about a billion hours just to make a straight line !!”

“Miss Yamaguchi always tells you to use the rulers in the classroom,” Taffeta reminded.

“It’s not fun !!” Anya exclaimed.

“ Sh !!” Phoebe exclaimed. “I have to focus, guys !!”

They all looked up and huddled close to each other when they saw Whitney and her friends approach their space on the blacktop. It was better to stick together in these sorts of situations  ( Well , so they hold Anya back before she decided to swing at the others and get them all in trouble . ) .

“Well, well, well, looks like the girly – boy is trying to fit in,” Whitney greeted.

Phoebe scrunched her nose and squeezed onto both Anya and Taffeta’s arms.

“I am a girl,” Phoebe insisted. “I look like you  guys !! Look, I’m even wearing a dress !!”

“Then why do you have to use the  **_ boy’s  _ ** bathroom ?” Sophie asked. “It’s because you have boy parts, because you’re a boy that likes to act like a girl. You’re a girly – boy !!”

“You better watch your mouth !!” Anya exclaimed. “I’ll punch you !!”

“Guys, don’t fight !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

“What are you  gonna do about it, **_ beak –  _ ** **_ face _ ** ? ” Whitney asked. “You use crutches like the kids in the SPED  classroom !! Those kids are  **_ dumb  _ ** !!”

“I’m not dumb !!” Taffeta squealed.

She felt tears start to run down her face, and she wiped them with her shoulder. She didn’t want to cry in front of these girls, because then they would have all the more reason to make fun of her, but it was too late. She heard them start laughing at her.

“Look at her, she’s crying !!” Sophie exclaimed. “ Crybaby !! Crybaby !!”

“She’s even uglier when she cries !!” Whitney laughed.

The laughing was cut short as Anya broke from the group and tackled Sophie to the asphalt.

Never had any of the other girls seen moves like the ones she did outside of those fight videos between grown – ups  ( Most of them were teenage girls after class, but to a bunch of kindergarteners, they looked like grown – ups . ) , as Anya punched Sophie in the face with a heavy balled fist, but she screeched and pulled back when the other girl bit her thumb.

“Ouch !!” Anya shouted.

This was enough time for Sophie to push Anya off of her, and poke her in the eye, before she had the upper hand and started to scratch and slap Anya in whatever way she could.

“Hey, that’s not fair !!” Phoebe yelled.

She went over to help Anya, before Whitney yanked her by the hair and pushed her onto the ground before Phoebe was on the receiving end of a swift kick to the nose.

Phoebe shrieked at the sight of blood on her dress before she pulled Phoebe to the ground and those two girls began to fighr.

“Stop it, we’re going to get in trouble !!” Taffeta cried.

“My mommy will be so mad if I get sent to the principal’s offices !!” Katsuki exclaimed. “I’ll have to deal with that for the rest of my life !!”

Both the bystanders went in and tried to break up their fighting friends before the whistle blew and both Missus Tubbs and Miss Yamaguchi came over and plucked up the individual girls, by their arms or their clothes.

“What do you girls think you’re doing ?” Miss Yamaguchi asked. “This is so unlike you three !!”

“I tried to stop them !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

She wasn’t used to getting in trouble, and she hated fights. Taffeta felt sick and she clutched her stomach. If she got sent to the office, then both her parents would find out that she got into a  fight !! She’ll get in so much trouble  ( though she wasn’t quite sure what trouble was, since she had never gotten in trouble before . ) !! 

“Please don’t tell my mommy !!” Katsuki whined.

“I think this is a conversation we need to have with your parents,” Missus Tubbs commented. “Now, let’s go to the office and talk about what happened out here.”

“No, please !!” Sophie cried. “I don’t want  my moms to know !!”

The six girls were promptly escorted to the principal’s office and they were sat down on the large office couch where they were all hip to hip with eachother.

“These six girls broke out into a fist fight out on the playground,” Missus Tubbs told the principal. “I think you might need to remind them what the rules are in this school.”

“Mister Lee, please,” Miss Yamaguchi pleaded. “I know they’re good girls. Do you think you can find out what happened with them ?”

The Asian man turned on his office chair to face the girls that sat on his office couch and to Taffeta and her friends, he looked familiar, since he lived on their street. Taffeta looked at the name plaque on his desk; ‘Mister Bradley Lee’. The dots connected as they looked up at the pictures of his family on the wall behind him, he had a very beautiful, almost doll looking wife, that had perfectly ringlet curled hair and soft looking lips. He had two daughters, and one son.

“I can handle it,” he told the two teachers.

“You call your kids’ parents, I’ll call mine,” Missus Tubbs told Miss Yamguchi.

Both teachers exited the room so they could call their students’ parents and have them come in. 

“So, girls, what happened ?” he asked.

Sophie stuck her finger right in Anya’s face, and pouted her lower lip.

“She  **_ hit  _ ** **_ me  _ ** in my  **_ face  _ ** !!” Sophie accused. “She  **_ attacked  _ ** me, like a  **_ dog  _ ** with  **_ rabies  _ ** !!”

Anya reached forward and nearly bit Sophie’s finger, before Taffeta pulled Anya back onto the couch.

“And  **_ he  _ ** almost hit my friend !!” Whitney snapped.

She pointed at Phoebe and Phoebe bit her lips together, in an attempt to not cry herself.

“They made fun of us !!” Anya exclaimed. “I wanted to protect my friends, and they were being so mean to us !!”

“You’re a  **_ liar  _ ** !!” Whitney exclaimed. “You’re all  **_ lying  _ ** !! Mister Lee, they’re lying !!”

“We’re not !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “We were just . . .”

Katsuki never said anything as she looked at her hands and pulled at her skin.

Taffeta furrowed her eyebrows she looked at Katsuki. Maybe she was just as nervous as Taffeta  was ? Taffeta went silent as well, as she couldn’t think of a reason as to why they resorted to punching and hitting. She knew that Anya wrestled and hit her brothers, so maybe she was used to fighting when she felt upset. Phoebe simply fought back because Whitney pulled her hair, and called her a boy, even though Phoebe wasn’t a boy on the inside. Taffeta looked down at her lap and bit the inside of her cheek.

“She called me a boy, Mister Lee, we had an assembly on it and everything !!” Phoebe claimed. “I’m not a boy, and she pulled my hair !!”

“And Sophie was hurting my friends’ feelings !!” Anya exclaimed. “They’ve been bullying us since the first  day !! They didn’t let us on the big tree, and we got spit on !!”

“We were there first !!” Whitney justified. “That means that it’s our place to play at, and not freaks like you three !!”

“We’re not freaks !!” Taffeta squealed. “Why do you have to be so mean ?”

The door opened and the six girls huddled with their respective friends. First it was a heavyset woman with blonde and green hair, along with another woman that a funny looking nose, then it was an Asian woman with square glasses, another heavyset woman with a blonde man that looked like a perfect model, lastly it was the familiar faces of Randy, Bea, Celeste, and Tim.

“What  happened ? ” the tan woman with the weird nose asked. “We heard Sophie got into a fight on the playground ?”

Bea went and grabbed Anya into a hug and kissed her daughter’s forehead as she touched her fingers softly to her child’s face.

“Are you okay ?” she asked.

Phoebe ran into Celeste’s arms and started to cry into her mom’s shoulder, and she blubbered about the situation, though no sentence she tried to string together made any sense.

“Oh, of course,” Queen commented. “One of the little brats involved is a  **_ Willoughby _ ** . She looks exactly like you, Tim. Once you stopped using cocaine, then  **_ everything  _ ** must’ve started working. I always knew there was  **_ something  _ ** weird between you and Jane.”

“ **_ Hey _ ** , don’t talk about my kid like that !!” Tim defended. “Don’t we want to find out what  happened ? Talking all of this petty  **_ bullshit  _ ** isn’t helping us  **_ solve  _ ** the damn problem.”

Tim picked up Taffeta and sniffed before he wiped away a bit of stray blood that began to dribble from his nostril.

“Poppa, you’re bleeding . . .” Taffeta whispered.

“Don’t worry about it, lima bean,” he soothed. “I’m okay.”

“What were you  **_ thinking  _ ** ? ” the Asian woman asked Katsuki.

“I’m sorry, mommy,” Katsuki apologized.

“Why can’t you act more like your older  brother ? ” the woman asked. “It’s always  **_ mistake _ ** **__ ** after  **_ mistake  _ ** with you. Hiro would’ve never done something like this.”

Though she didn’t scream or sob, Taffeta could tell she cried.

“I’m sorry, mommy.”

Taffeta clung to Tim for security and batted her eyelashes at him.

He rustled her hair and held her close, as he continued to sniffle, before he ended up bleeding onto his daughter.

He felt incredibly warm to Taffeta, but her momma did say that he was sick this morning, so he might’ve been a little feverish, she could tell he was shaking a little bit, which she did sometimes when she was sick. She hugged onto him tighter, in hopes that he would feel better.

“So, your six girls were caught fighting out on the playground,” Mister Lee explained. “We still don’t have the story straight, but we need to discuss what happened, so we can take the proper actions in how we’re going to deal with this.”

“She started it !!” Sophie shrieked.

The blonde woman with green tips shielded Sophie from Anya and the Wolfe family, before she knitted her eyebrows as she looked at the black eye and scratch marks that were on her daughter’s face.

“Officer Wolfe, your kids are the most  feral heathens that go to this school,” the woman with the weird nose commented.

Randy held Anya back and scrunched his nose at the women and their daughter.

“My kids are not heathens !!” Randy defended.

Mister Lee’s intercom went off and the secretary told him that all three of the Wolfe boys were in the chairs outside the office, as they had started another food fight in the cafeteria.

“Uhm . . . okay, that’s fair,” he sighed.

“Why should we have to take the word of your child ?” Bea asked. “I know that our kids are a little rougher than other kids, we’ll fully admit that, but one thing my kids are is  **_ honest _ ** .”

“My daughter’s crying, for god’s sake !!” Celeste added. “She rarely cries !!”

“It’s a manipulative little shit !!” Dorian commented. “Of course, the little transgender kid has to act like it’s the victim all the time, because the world did it wrong !!”

“No wonder Patience hates your ass !!” Tim exclaimed.

“And no wonder you’re divorced,” Dorian argued. “We can all tell that  you’re high right now, Tim. You’re bleeding out your nose and your pupils are the size of goddamned marbles !!”

“Your entire family is messed up !!” Queen exclaimed. “Your brother is a lowlife  skeeze that can’t get a girlfriend, your other brother is an irritable bastard that makes money turning tricks in a dark alleyway, and Jane is a -”

“ **_ You shut your fucking mouth  _ ** !!” Tim exclaimed. “I’m out of  here !! I don’t have to deal with this shit !!”

“ **_ Poppa  _ ** !!” Taffeta cried. “ **_ Don’t yell _ ** !!”

He carried Taffeta out of the room, before he signed her out of school early and he looked behind himself to see that Randy, Bea, their kids, Celeste, and Phoebe had followed him out and did the same.

He took Taffeta back to the station wagon and helped her into her car – seat. He handed her a few napkins from Ham Bros. so she could blow her nose and wipe her face.

“Why are you crying, lima  bean ? ” he asked. “There’s no reason to cry.”

“ **_ Why did you yell at them and say all those mean things _ ** ?” Taffeta asked.

“They were being mean to  **_ me _ ** , Taffeta !!” Tim commented. “I was sticking up for myself !!”

“ **_ You didn’t have to yell _ ** !!” Taffeta cried. “ **_ It’s scary when you  _ ** **_ yell  _ ** !! **_ It makes me scared when you yell at people _ ** ,  **_ like when you yelled at momma _ ** !!”

“You don’t understand who some of those people  **_ are _ ** , Taffeta,” he claimed. “I used to be married to that big lady, and she treated me like  **_ shit  _ ** the entire marriage.”

“I thought you loved  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“I love you and your momma more than anything in the world,” he reassured. “But I had a different life before you were born. I wanted a different life than this.”

“Do you . . . not like your  life ? ” she asked.

“I wish it were different,” he sighed. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, lima bean.”

“Like ?”

“It’s a long story that I’m not sure you’re ready for,” Tim claimed. “ But, what matters is, I’m here now, to protect you, and momma. It’s hard, every day is really hard, but I’m ready for it. This is my life now, even if I wanted it to be different.”

“Do you think it would’ve been different  if . . .” she was nearly a whisper at this point. “If I wasn’t  born ? ”

Tim sighed and adjusted the rearview mirror so he could look at his daughter.

“You and your momma made my life a million times better,” he said. “Don’t you ever feel like my life would’ve been better without you in it.”

She didn’t say anything, she just fiddled with her fingers, before she noticed her backpack was missing.

“Poppa, we forgot my backpack,” she claimed. “I - I might have homework later.”

“Forget about that right now,” he said. “We can come back and get it later.”

“But the school might be closed later !!” she exclaimed.

Tim sighed as his daughter had a point, but he didn’t want to go back in there to face everyone after the things that were said. He wanted to get out of there, and he wanted to go home as soon as possible. Being at home would make him happy, that is . . . if he hadn’t run out already.

He got out of the car and looked to Taffeta.

“You stay here, I’ll get your backpack,” he said. “Want me to leave the radio on ?”

Taffeta nodded.

He rolled down the windows a crack, so air could flow as the car was turned off and ran on its battery to play the radio, before he took the keys and shut the door. Tim unbuttoned his sleeves and began to scratch at his arms as he went back  inside. He approached the secretary’s desk and looked down at her.

“We forgot my daughter’s backpack,” he claimed. “Taffeta Willoughby, she’s in Miss Yamaguchi’s class.”

“Miss Yamaguchi brought her backpack up here,” the secretary responded.

She put the star patterned backpack onto the desk for Tim to take.

“Mister Willoughby, I don’t mean to pry, but . . .” The secretary paused to get a tissue from the box. “Are you  okay ? You’re bleeding.”

Tim took the tissue from her and used it to wipe his nose, before he looked at his fingers to see that he had scratched into himself. He didn’t even feel the pain, so he wiped his arms as well.

“I’m fine,” he answered.

He took the backpack and headed out to the car, before he put the backpack in the backseat with Taffeta, and she checked to see if everything was in  its place.

Homework folder, check. Lunchbox, check. Library books, check.

“Do you want to get ice  cream ? ” he asked. “We could go all the way across town to  Kustard Kones.”

Taffeta smiled at the thought and nodded.

“Ice cream !!” she cheered. 

“Let’s go home first,” he said. “Then you can drop off your backpack, and use the bathroom if you need to.”

Taffeta nodded in agreement, as they made their way home. They didn’t speak for the first part of the ride back to the house, and Taffeta simply read one of her library books as Tim looked around at his surroundings.

“Poppa ?”

“Yes, lima bean ?”

“Are we going to have to tell momma that I got in trouble at school today ?”

“How about we keep it between  us ? ” Tim asked. “It will be our little secret. Momma doesn’t have to know, and then neither of us will get in trouble.”

“Okay, poppa,” Taffeta agreed. “Can we tell her about the ice cream ?”

“Let’s keep this whole thing between us,” he suggested. “She might be jealous if we got ice cream without her.”

That was a lie, and Tim knew it. Jane wouldn’t give as much of a shit about the ice cream as she would about the fact that he pulled Taffeta out of school early for no true reason. She would be upset that he caused such a scene in the office, but with how he was feeling, he didn’t care. Who did those stupid parents think they are anyways – especially Queen and  Dorian.

“Okay, poppa,” Taffeta repeated. “I won’t say anything.”

“Good girl,” he praised.

They finally arrived at the house, and both Tim and Taffeta went to their rooms.

She stopped in her tracks and put her backpack on the ground next to her bed. Taffeta got onto her bed and grabbed her moth, before she planted a kiss on the stuffed toy’s head, and gently placed them back onto the bed. She readjusted her crutches and got off the bed. She walked back down the hallway and looked at the bathroom, before she shook her head. She didn’t need to go in that moment.

Taffeta stopped at Tim’s door, before she grabbed the handle to try and open the door but the door was locked. She knitted her eyebrows and leaned her crutches against the wall. That was strange. He normally never had a door locked, unless he was in the bathroom. She tried to see if she could see his shoes under the door, before she braced her legs to get back up. Taffeta pressed her cheek against the door and only heard the sound out Tim sniffing on the other side.

She knocked on the door before she grabbed her crutches.

“Poppa ?” she asked. “Are we still going to get ice  cream ? ”

“Just a second, darling,” he called from the other side. “Just getting my jacket on.”

Taffeta leaned against the hallway’s wall as she waited for him to finish up in his room. She thought about what he said for a moment, because something was off about what he said. He never called her ‘darling’, and the only time he really called anyone ‘darling’ was whenever Jane was frustrated with him. She decided to ignore it, maybe he was just busy with what he was doing, and he said it to say it.

The door finally opened and he blew his nose with a tissue from his room.

“C’mon lima bean,” he encouraged. “Let’s go and get that ice cream.”

She came down the steps with Tim close behind her. They both got back into the car, and he took a bottle of over – the – counter painkillers out of the glovebox, before he swallowed two capsules dry.

“Shouldn’t you drink water with that, poppa ?” Taffeta asked. “Momma says that you could choke if you swallow pills dry.”

He adjusted the rearview mirror a few times, and he glared intently at the mirror each time he adjusted it. Tim flexed his fingers and shuttered as h eput his hands on the wheel.

“Poppa, are you  okay ? ” Taffeta asked.

She knitted her eyebrows together as she watched him. She had never seen him act like this unless he was nervous, and she didn’t have a clue what he could be nervous about. Maybe seeing Whitney’s mom made him nervous for some reason ?

“Yeah, yeah,” he answered. “I feel great. Ice cream ?”

She nodded, before she rubbed her arms. She was confused . . . scared even. He seemed okay, but . . . not okay at the same time. Taffeta pushed her thoughts of nervousness to the back of her mind. He was probably just acting funny because he was sick, and sometimes people don’t think right when they’re sick. Her momma did weird things when she was sick, like put Tim’s lunch box in the cat’s medicine shelf and put Grandpa’s medicine in the refrigerator. It wasn’t like she was in any danger. She was with her poppa, and he would never put her in any  danger . . .  right ? She wished Jane was there. Taffeta wanted to see her right then.

“You can get whatever you want, okay Taffeta ?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Even if it’s expensive,” he added. “Hell, if you wanted to go on a vacation anytime soon, just let me know. I know we could all use one.”

She felt her heart thump against her ribcage and she bit her lip.

“But what about school ?” she asked.

“You could get days off from school !!” he exclaimed. “It wouldn’t be a big deal; hey, what if me, you, and momma all went to that Beaver Dam water park place we always see on  T.V ? ”

“But it’s Monday,” Taffeta reminded. “A - And we’re going to have chicken nugget day at school tomorrow.”

“They have chicken nuggets there,” he reassured. “I promise that everything will be okay.”

She rubbed her arms before she looked at her father in the mirror. She couldn’t quite place why she was so nervous. He was happy, and being happy was a good thing.

“O - Okay . . .”


	8. False Panacea

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 :

𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕖 ℙ𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕔𝕖𝕒

◟ ◞

“I still don’t understand why you wanted to take us on this trip,” Jane commented.  ”School is important, and we can’t just take Taffeta out of it.”

His head was reeling, it had been for a week straight. Tim rubbed his temples and put his suitcase in the closet of the water park’s hotel room. He sat down on the bed and sighed as Jane sat next to him. He couldn’t tell her what he had been up to, so he simply came up with another lie.

“It was heat of the moment,” he claimed. “I’ve been so stressed out at work, and I just wanted to get us all away from the stress of life. I think that Taffeta’s fight at school was a sign that we all needed a vacation.”

Jane sighed as she watched Taffeta curiously look through the rooms and drawers of the hotel room. Their daughter pulled a book out of one of the drawers and read the hardback cover.

“ Momma ? ” Taffeta asked. “What’s a ‘ bibble ’ ?”

“It’s a bible,  Taff ,” Jane explained. “It’s a big book that Christian people read.”

“Is it like our story book of  fairytales ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Well, yes, but no,” Jane claimed. “It’s a very important book to them. It’s one of the reasons we have churches and stuff.”

“Oh,” Taffeta commented.

She put the book back into the drawer before she went and looked through the kitchenette.

“You don’t think she caused anything at school, do  you ? ” Jane asked.

“ Of course, I don’t,” Tim commented. “We know our kid well enough to know she doesn’t have it in her to start fights or bully other kids, besides, it was  **_ Queen’s  _ ** kid that she got into a fight with, and a few other girls who also looked like snot – nosed twerps.”

Jane put both of her hands on his shoulders and massaged her fingers in his upper back, and neck. She let out a soft, yet disappointed hum as she rubbed his neck and shoulders.

“You can’t let that get to you, Tim,” Jane claimed. “I know it’s hard, especially because of who she was to you, but we can’t let who’s kid they are be the deciding factor on whether or not we get upset.” 

He didn’t respond, but he watched as Taffeta went into the little clubhouse that was installed in their suite for young kids much like Taffeta. He could see her explore the little loft bed, slide, stairs, and the desk underneath. She put her suitcase under the loft bed, before she giggled and went up the steps and back down the slides.

“Sometimes I feel like I fail you guys,” he said.

It was a mindless thought, something that was pulled from deep within himself. He and Jane hadn’t really had any late – night talks. Ever since they found out about Taffeta’s condition, they hadn’t talked much. It was more of a “You going to  bed ? I’ll see you when I get up there.” kind of thing. He missed the closeness, craved it, actually. He couldn’t help but to be cold and distant these days, but he knew that he didn’t want to hurt the only family he had. He didn’t deserve Jane or Taffeta.

“ Hm ? ” Jane asked. “Why do you say that ?”

“I just . . . I don’t know,” he answered. “A lot’s been on my mind. I’m stressed out.”

“What  exactly’s so  stressful ? ” she asked.

“I’m stressed about Taffeta, and about her going through troubles at school,” he claimed. “I wish I could be there, to fight all of her battles for her.”

“We both do,” Jane soothed. “I wish I could’ve gotten off from work so I could’ve been there for her when she got into her fight, but I couldn’t. It was only ten in the morning after all.”

His eyes widened at the realization.  **_ Ten in the  _ ** **_ morning _ ** ? It felt like the afternoon when he went  t pick her up. That wasn’t a good sign. He needed to be better . . . but  how ?

Tim noticed the ring on Jane’s finger he bought her about five years ago, and he put his hand a top her’s.

“Yeah,” he said.

It was simply to agree with her and nothing more than that. He was still incredibly puzzled about how the day went by so fast. He couldn’t quite recollect all the events from that day. He felt his chest get tight and he couldn’t breathe. He was getting bad again, he could feel it. Tim grabbed the collar of his shirt and waved it, as if he let the suffocatingly hot air from out of his shirt.

He turned and pulled Jane into a hug, which she returned  ( albeit a little  confused ) . He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck and used his weight to push her back onto the bed.

“Whoa, whoa – Tim -” she sputtered. “What’s wrong ?”

He couldn’t tell her the truth. It would break her as a person. They built this life they lived so comfortably in together, and she would be so hurt if she found out that he had thrown so much of it away. He was living the suburban dream that he had always dreamed of – why wasn’t he  happy ?

“Hey, what are you - ?”

“Why aren’t I happy ?” he asked.

“Tim, I’m -” she started.

“I don’t feel happy, Jane, why am I not -?”

“Can we not do this right now ?” she asked. “Taffeta’s right there, and you said it yourself. We have to be strong for her.”

“This isn’t about her, Jane !!” he whined.

“Where was this when I needed  it ? ” Jane asked. “When I was crying on the hospital floor, because I was terrified about how long we’d have left with our daughter – you told me to suck it up. Why can’t  you ? You’re the one that wanted to come on this vacation anyway. Now, you’re trying to spend the vacation  miserable ? For cosmos sake, you sound like a damn hypocrite right now !!”

“Give me a break, you ingrate,” he commented.

He sat up and wiped his face before he got off the bed.

“You have no idea how hard it’s been for me lately either,” he continued. “I haven’t slept for about a week straight. I’ve seen things I’ve never wanted to see. I know things I never wanted to know -”

“That’s life, Tim,” Jane claimed. “Life’s a bitch, then you die.”

“I’d honestly rather die than vent to your thick skull right now,” he said.

She knitted her eyebrows and felt tears come to her eyes. Why would he ever say that to  her ? He never said those things to  her !! He was supposed to be different. He wasn’t supposed to . . .

Jane opened her suitcase and pulled out the monokini she was wearing to the indoor water park. She shut her suitcase before she went to the little clubhouse and opened the little door.

“ Taff , get your bathing suit on,” she said. “We’re going swimming.”

She smiled as Taffeta slid down the slide and went back in to change into her bathing suit  ( after she shut the clubhouse curtains for her privacy. ).

Jane walked into the bedroom and slammed the bathroom door behind her as she changed.

Tim sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, before he looked at his own suitcase. He shook his head before he knocked on the door and put his face against the door. He always had to be the one to apologize, because she was always too stubborn to do it herself, even when she was wrong, like she was now.

How dare she not care about his feelings.

“Jane, what if I said I’m  sorry ? ” he asked.

She opened the door with two towels in her arms. He could tell she was angry as she knitted her eyebrows and scrunched her nose at him.

“You aren’t,” she said.

He brought her into a hug and had his hands on her hips as he tried to keep her in one that she fought back against.

“But what if I am ?”

“Let  **_ go  _ ** of me !!”

“Jane, please.”

“Tim,  **_ let  _ ** **_ go  _ ** !!”

He did indeed let go, after the managed to punch him right in the crotch. He winced and sat down on the bed before he looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows.

“What the hell is wrong with you, you psycho ?” he asked.

“Don’t you  **_ touch  _ ** me like that  **_ ever  _ ** again !!” she snapped. “ **_ Leave me alone _ ** !!”

She left the room and slammed the door behind herself, before she went back to the little clubhouse. She took a deep breath in as she opened the door and put a smile on her face for Taffeta.

“Hey  Taff , are you ready to go  swimming ? ” Jane asked.

“Did you and poppa just fight  again ? ” Taffeta asked.

Jane saw that her daughter was pouting, like she normally did when she was upset or nervous, which she seemed to be a lot more lately. She hated seeing that her daughter was so nervous all the time, especially around her family. Last night, Taffeta stalled bedtime as long as she could just so Jane could stay in the room, and even went and slept on Jane’s side of the bed after she woke up from a nightmare at three in the morning. Tim  wasn't there , but Jane assumed he was in the bathroom, like he normally was. The light was on after all.

“We just had a little argument,” Jane downplayed.

She couldn’t shake the feeling of his hands on her hips.

She wanted to forget.

“ But, we’ll be okay,” Jane reassured. “Let’s go.”

She took Taffeta’s hand and lead her out of the room. They walked around the hotel before they finally made it to the indoor waterpark, where they were allowed in by their key card. Taffeta looked to Jane before she took her crutches off.

“I won’t need them,  right ? ” she asked.

Jane shook her head. If Taffeta wasn’t able to walk anymore, Jane would carry her, until she deemed it okay to go back to the hotel room. She couldn’t be around Tim in this state, and she was so tired of the arguing in front of Taffeta. She loved them both, but she had to do what was best for their daughter, and at that moment, it was walking away from him until they both had the patience to talk to  eachother like civilized adults. 

Taffeta walked into the kiddie wading pool, where there was the little waterslides and playground structure, along with the giant bucket that filled with water before it poured out and splashed everyone that waited for it below.

Jane used her key card to open one of the lockers before she put the towels and Taffeta’s crutches inside, before she turned the key card into an office that would hold the card as she and Taffeta went around the water park. Afterwards, she sat in one of the pool chairs and watched Taffeta play on the equipment and talk with other kids that played. As much as she hated to admit it, she wished Tim was there right now. She lost her spark with other parents as she became a mother, and she didn’t want to talk to any of the other parents at the park. She wanted a warm and comforting presence there. 

She hated feeling this way.

Taffeta played on the equipment, and started up a game of water volleyball with the other kids, while Jane watched from a far, soon, Taffeta was done playing, and she came up to Jane and shook off.

“Momma, I want to do something else,” she claimed. “I get tired of playing water volleyball when the other team always wins. It’s like when we played kickball in P.E. I got picked last because I’m on crutches.”

Jane furrowed her eyebrows when Taffeta said that. She felt bad because she felt like she should’ve known that things were going on at school, that kids were picking on her baby. With her rose colored hindsight glasses, everything made sense; why she asked if Jane thought she was ugly, why she showed discontent with school, why she was anxious.

“Y - Yeah,” Jane answered. “Is there anything specific you want to go do ?”

“I like that long pool where they all have the big floaty donuts,” Taffeta answered. “You  know ? The big, clear, floaty donuts ?”

Jane chuckled at the way she described the Lazy River. She wondered what else went on in that funny little head of  her’s . . . Tim’s too . . . she wondered what he was doing. Was it a mistake to have left him alone in the  room ? She shouldn’t have been so harsh to  him, it wasn’t the time to treat him with  cruelty . . . he needed her and she tossed him aside.

Then that creeping feeling of his hands on her hips came back to her.

She knew Tim wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, he never would. He was there to  **_ protect  _ ** her and Taffeta. Besides,  **_ Troy  _ ** was the one to do that. Tim was – Tim  **_ is  _ ** different. He  **_ isn’t  _ ** Troy.

Jane knew she wasn’t ready to go back to the hotel room.

“Lazy River it is,” Jane agreed. 

“Why’s it called a Lazy River,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“The water moves, you just have to sit in the tube and let the water take you around the park,” Jane explained. “It’s very relaxing.”

“We need a relaxing day,” Taffeta claimed. “Right, momma ?”

Jane smiled at her comment. After what happened back in the hotel room, she needed something to relax her, and what would be better than being in a Lazy River with her  kid ?

They went to the Lazy River and they got one of the clear tubes, before Jane got in so Taffeta could settle on her stomach as they went around the Lazy River.

Taffeta laid her head back on Jane’s chest as they looked up at the ceiling. 

“I wish poppa were here,” Taffeta sighed. “Why didn’t he come with us ?”

“Sometimes, when grown – ups argue, they need a time – out from  eachother ,” Jane explained. “I didn’t want to get very angry with your poppa, so I decided to take you here, so both poppa and I can think about what we did, and what we said, before we talk to see if we can talk about it in a way where we don’t argue.”

“Do you think that would work with Whitney and the mean girls ?” Taffeta asked.

Jane frowned as she thought about her daughter’s situation. She thought back to her high school years, where she herself was the Queen Bee and the It Girl, known for her nasty attitude and vile treatment of others. She remembered how upset those years made her, how insecure she was, how angry at the world she was. Even when kids tried to walk away, Jane and her two other friends, Nikki and Andrea  ( who both grew up to live very fruitful and amazing lives, though they both moved. Last she heard, Nikki became a baker, got married to a guy named Ryan that she had four kids with, and lives in the suburbs somewhere in Nebraska. Andrea became a pilot for the air force and lives with her husband, Craig, their triplet sons, and their five dogs somewhere in France. ), still continued to follow them and harass them in whatever way they could. 

“It might not work with high school bullies,” Jane reasoned. “ But, you stuck up for yourself, and that’s what matters. I don’t mind if you get in a fight, as long as you didn’t start it. A lady never ever starts a fight, but she sure as hell will finish them.”

“Did you ever have any bullies in school,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Yeah, actually, I did,” Jane responded. “When I was in middle school, I was bullied a lot, for having big ears, and a weird nose by the other girls.”

Taffeta’s eyes widened in shock. Her own mother got picked on for the exact same thing she gets picked on  for !! On top of that, her momma was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen  ( with Patience and Sabrina being very close runner  ups ) .

“But you don’t have big ears or a weird nose !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “You’re pretty, momma !!”

“And so are you, Taffeta,” Jane reminded. “Remember, you’re both pretty on the outside, and the inside. What matters is how pretty you are on the inside, because you could be the most beautiful girl in the world on the outside, but none of that matters if you’re very ugly on the inside.”

“Like my tummy sack and my tummy noodles ?” Taffeta asked.

Jane snickered at the way Taffeta described her digestive tract as well. She underestimated how entertaining little kids were, but then again, she barely listened to Ruth when she was a kid  ( outside of when she had to, like when she would do Ruth’s makeup or her  hair ) , and she never hung around kids. Clementine had her little brother in the shop a few times, but he mainly stuck to himself and played this game called “Monster Masters” on his little game system.

“Well, that too,” Jane claimed. “But I mean the way you act, if you’re nice to other people, because while being popular and pretty right now might seem important, when you get older, people like you more if you’re funny, sweet, and nice.”

She really started to notice that at her first job. She worked at a shop made for  thirteen year old girls, called ‘ PrincessCorner ’, and they sold things like lip – glosses, those cheap, sheer eyeshadow palates, diaries with fluffy unicorn covers, earrings made out of copper that were painted to look silver. She realized she would get treated better as an employee when she treated her customers well, and that ended up bleeding into her everyday habits as well  ( well , until Troy, but that’s not the point. ). 

“So, if I’m nice to people, then people will like  me ? ” Taffeta asked.

“For the most part,” Jane claimed. “But if people are mean to you, then you have every right to be a little mean back, but don’t be mean to people who aren’t mean to you.”

“Oh, like Miss Yamaguchi says, the golden rule,” Taffeta commented. “’Treat Others The Way You Want To Be Treated.’.”

Jane nodded in response.

“Exactly that.”

“We also have the eight keys of excellence,” Taffeta said. “’Integrity, Failure Leads To Success, Speak With Good Purpose, This Is It, Commitment, Ownership, Flexibility, and Balance’.”

Jane knitted her eyebrows as she listened to Taffeta explain what each and every key meant, because Jane didn’t know what those were. To be fair, she started public school in the fourth grade, so they didn’t really talk about what those key things were. The general idea was ‘Don’t Be A Jerk’, which she obviously listened to oh so well in high school. 

They went around the Lazy River a few times, before they went to the wave pool  ( which Taffeta clung to Jane for dear life in, in fear the waves would knock her over and sweep her  away ) , and went on a couple of waterslides. Taffeta then got tired and Jane knew that it would be a good time to head back to the hotel room. They could order pizza, and Jane could smooth over earlier with Tim, so they weren’t pissed off at  eachother for the rest of the night. She didn’t want to spend the rest of the trip upset with him. She was tired of being upset with him. She wanted her brother back more than anything in the world.

Jane wrapped Taffeta in one of the towels they brought  ( after they got their key card back, of  course ) before she carried Taffeta back to the hotel room, since she seemed too tired to even use her crutches that Jane carried in her hands. They arrived at the hotel room to see that Tim was gone.

Taffeta yawned and rubbed her eyes as she also noticed that Tim wasn’t in the room.

“Where’d poppa  go ? ” she asked.

Jane furrowed her eyebrows. It was unlike him to just up and leave them behind. She set Taffeta down and gave her the little crutches back.

“I don’t know,  Taff ,” Jane answered. “Why don’t you get in the  shower ? Chlorine makes your hair turn green if you don’t wash it out.”

“It  does ? ” Taffeta asked.

The young girl promptly went to her suitcase to get her pajamas so she could go to the shower and wash the pool water out of her hair before her reddish pink locks turned any sort of green.

Jane began to look around the hotel room to see if there was anything that would’ve signified where Tim could’ve possibly gone. She looked around the kitchenette counter to see if there was a note on the hotel paper that he had left behind.

Nothing.

Taffeta soon came out of the bathroom, before she went to the little clubhouse and brought back a brush.

Jane sat on the couch and brushed Taffeta’s hair as Taffeta turned on the T.V and scrolled through the channels the hotel had to offer. She yawned as she did so, and climbed up on the couch once Jane was finished with her hair.

“Did poppa leave a  note ? ” Taffeta asked.

“No,” Jane answered. “I’m going to get my  phone, you can watch whatever you want. I’m going to see if I can get ahold of poppa, to see if he tells me where he’s at.”

“Okay, momma,” Taffeta yawned.

She laid back on the couch and continued to look through the channels in an attempt to get to the cartoons, but her scrolls became sporadic as she fought her own sleep. 

Jane went to the bedroom and picked up her phone as it charged on the nightstand. She went to her contacts and called Tim. She paced around the bedroom as the busy tone rang on her phone. She was then greeted by the message that Tim couldn’t get to his phone at the moment.

Jane sighed as she then texted him and told him to let her know where he was and that she was worried about him after their argument. She exited the bedroom before she saw that Taffeta had fallen asleep on the couch. So much for a pizza night. Jane picked up Taffeta and carried her to the little clubhouse bed, and set her down, before she tucked her daughter under the clubhouse bed blankets.

She took this opportunity to go and get her pajamas, so she could shower too. The monokini was riding up her body, and gave her a rather vicious wedgie, and wedgies weren’t the most pleasant feeling. She went to the bedroom, before she heard the door of the hotel room open and shut again.

She groaned and rolled her eyes at the sound of Tim, as he staggered in the door, and muttered swears to himself, then the smell hit her.

He was drunk.

She ignored him, as she simply hoped that he would get to the couch and pass out like the twins did after Vegas, but she heard the bedroom door open and heard his body thump against the doorframe.

“Well, look –  hic !! Look, at what we have here,” he greeted. “Jane . . .”

“What do you  want ? ” she asked.

So much for reconciling that night.

He got onto the bed and pulled Jane back onto the bed with him by her waist, which caused her to tense.

“I  kinda –  hic !! I  kinda . . . I want you,” he answered. “I never, ever, ever in my life realized how pretty you were. You’re **_real_** pretty, you know that ?”

Jane felt tears come to her face as she was reminded of the times that Troy would come into the room and say those things to her. His hands were on her stomach and she was filled with unease. She didn’t want to hit him, even if he was drunk, because she couldn’t hurt him, but the fact of the matter is, he was drunk, and could quite possibly hurt her without even realizing he did anything.

“Tim, **_no_** ,” she told him. “Get off, you need to go to bed.”

She attempted to pull away, before she was yanked back by her waist, and she gagged quietly over the smell of booze that enraptured her.

“C’mon Jane . . .” he whispered.

“Tim, you’re **_drunk_** ,” she reminded. “You don’t know what you’re saying, or what you’re talking about.”

She felt a few kisses on her neck, and out of instinct, she elbowed him in the  stomach, which caused him to let go and hold his stomach. 

“What the hell’s your problem ?” he slurred. “I wasn’t  gonna do sum’ to  **_ hurt  _ ** you. I never  wanna hurt you. You **_know_** that.  Iss me, Jane.”

“Exactly,” Jane commented. “It’s you.”

She grabbed her towel, and went in the bathroom, before she left Tim alone to pass out on the bed. She was going to sleep out on the couch that night, she couldn’t  lay next to him when he was in the state of mind that he was in, because of how unpredictable he could get. She loved him, don’t get him wrong, but tonight wasn’t a good night, for either of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || Disclaimer, before I forget !! ; This is NOT meant to be taken as an incest chapter !! The reasoning behind Tim's touchy - feely - ness is that he's trying to cuddle and comfort Jane, but isn't being considerate of the trauma she endured in the past, but of course, she doesn't know that either, and it reminds her of the trauma she endured !! 💖🎀🌻 Thank you all for reading !! 💖🎀🌻


	9. Scintilla of Instinct

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣  ℕ𝕚𝕟𝕖 :

𝕊𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕒 𝕆𝕗 𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕥

◟ ◞

He still couldn’t believe that Sabrina was engaged to that jerk. After all this time of trying, and trying, and living together, B. lost her. She was engaged to that guy she was hooking up with all those years ago, what did this  **_ John  _ ** guy have that he didn’t. He looked at his phone to see their engagement photoshoot once more as he locked up the exhibit of weapons used in the fallen Kingdom of Willoughby  ( that their great – great – great – you get the idea grandpa Jeb had fought  in ) .

He looked up from his phone to see a small, dirty child, in a coat, jeans, sandals, and a tank top. He looked like he hadn’t showered or eaten in a good while, but still, rules were rules.

“Hey kiddo, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can’t be here,” B. told him. “The museum’s closed.”

The kid didn’t answer him, but he looked up at him and sniffed.

Jeez, he looked sick.

He walked over to the kid and go onto his knees to look at the kid more closely. He attempted to put a hand on the kid’s forehead to see if he was running a fever, but the kid flinched.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothed. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Mommy said not to talk to strangers,” the kid said. “They could get me sent to foster care and put my mommy in jail forever.”

“Well, I’m Barnaby,” B. introduced. “B., for short.”

He looked around the room to see if the kid’s mom was anywhere to be seen, but it seemed the kid was alone.

“Where is your mom, anyway ?” he asked.

“Back at home,” the kid answered. “She drank a lot of the angry juice and hit her head really hard against the sink.”

“Uhm . . . did she . . . how do I put this . . .” B. started. “Did she ever get back up ?”

“No, she fell to the floor and her head started bleeding,” the kid answered. “It’s never done that before.”

The twin furrowed his eyebrows and felt a panic rise in him, his mom probably wasn’t going to get back up after that, and the kid never mentioned his dad, and by the sound of it, it was safe to assume that he didn’t have a dad either, or at least, not one that cared about him.

“What’s your  name ? ” B.  asked. "Did she ever give you a  name ? ”

“Dipshit.”

He forced a smile towards the small child in front of him.

“Well, that’s no name for a kid,” he insisted. “Would you like a different  name ? ”

“I don’t know . . .” the kid answered.

“I have a few cool names in my mind,” B. insisted. “I come from a long line of very amazing people, so I’m sure I could give you an amazing name, just like everyone else in my family.”

“Thank you, Mister Barnaby,” the kid said. 

“B.,” he reminded. “B.’s fine.”

“Thank you, B.,” the kid said. “So, what’s going to be my new name ?”

“Hm, how  about . . .” B. contemplated.

He thought back to one of the only few  Willoughbys he  remebered Tim talking about when they were kids. The first one that came to mind was a shoe smith of the Victorian times, which combined two of his greatest loves, fashion, and craft, and that was their great – great – great uncle William  ( and he went by  ‘ Bill ‘, which is why B. so desperately wanted to change his name to Bill if he couldn’t have Benson as his middle  name ) . The next Willoughby made one of the first engines that set its course on the International Railroad, their great – great – great – great aunt  Hildamarie ( who underwent the alias of ‘Archer Willoughby’, as women didn’t exactly have rights back then . ) . Lastly, he remembered one of the biggest fashion designer  Willoughbys of the eighties, who made dresses and suit jackets with ginormous shoulder pads that were staples of fashion for  awhile , and that was his great uncle Calvin ( who sadly passed away of throat cancer, because he smoked like a chimney ). 

“How does William Archer Calvin Willoughby sound ?” he asked.

“That’s a long name, B.,” the kid said.

“We could call you ‘Billie’ for short,” B. claimed. “My full name is Barnaby Benson Willoughby, and I have two brothers and two sisters, who all have long names.”

“What are their names ?” he asked.

“My brothers are Timothy Anthony Malachy Willoughby, Barnaby Alan Willoughby,” B. explained. “And then I have two sisters, and a sister – in – law, all named Jane Florence Elizabeth Willoughby, Ruth Anna Mathilde  Melanoff , and Patience Hope Willoughby. Jane and Patience have kids too, both have little girls.”

“I like Billie,” the kid answered.

“Billie Willoughby it is,” B. claimed. “Well, Billie, I wouldn’t feel right leaving you here by yourself, so how about you come back home with me tonight, and we can figure out what to do in the morning.”

“What if my mommy comes looking for  me ? ” Billie asked.

“Then she can come and get you from me,” B. answered. “But right now, you need a place to sleep.”

“I went and slept in the long train last night,” Billie claimed. “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“You won’t get in trouble,” B. insisted. “I promise it’ll be okay.”

He took the small child’s hand and took him out of the museum and to his car. There was no way he was going to put this kid in any danger, or leave him out in the cold, under his watch. He knew what it was like to live in uncomfortable living situations, and the fact that Sabrina moved her things out of the house made things easier in this situation. He could get extra sheets and blankets so Billie had a warm bed for tonight. He could call Orphan Services and the police, because while he hated seeing all the employees in black, he wanted to work out an arrangement to take care of the kid, at least until they could find him a suitable family.

Billie sneezed as they got into the car, and B. buckled him in the front seat.

“Can I touch your face  now ? ” B. asked.

“You won’t hit me, will  you ? ” Billie asked. “Mommy and the man with the mustache used to hit me.”

Looks like B. wasn’t going to grow his mustache out for awhile.

“Never,” B. promised. “I don’t like hitting people. I just want to see if your face feels warm. Do you feel hot ?”

“I feel hot and cold at the same time,” Billie claimed.

“I think you might be sick, kiddo,” B. stated. “Let’s go to the store and get you a few things, so you can try to get better.”

He didn’t verbally respond, but he sniffed.

They soon pulled up to Save – Mart and B. helped Billie out of the car, and held his hand as they walked inside the store. They got to the shopping carts before B. looked down at him.

“Do you want to sit in the cart or do you want to ride on my  shoulders ? ” B. asked.

“Can  I ? ” Billie asked.

It was the first time B. saw the kid smile that night. It was nice to see a kid that was still do naïve to the world, even though from what B. could piece together, he didn’t have a particularly good home life, or a home for that matter. For crying out loud, he didn’t even know his own name outside of ‘Dipshit’, which was far worse that ‘the creepy one’ or ‘the less attractive twin’  ( Even though he and A. were identical twins for cosmos sake. ).

He nodded and lifted the kid on his shoulders before he went and took a small hand basket before they went into the store. He held onto Billie with one hand, so the kid didn’t fall from six feet high. He went through the crowd of people before he navigated his way to the medicine and pharmacy. He looked at the various boxes of children’s cold medicine, before he saw a blue box in his face.

“B., what’s this ?”

He looked at the box before he continued to look at the cold medicine that he needed to get for Billie.

“Viagra,” B. answered.

“What does it do ?” 

He then realized that he probably said too much as he realized that he couldn’t tell like a four to five – year – old what Viagra was.

“It’s old people medicine,” B. white – lied. “We’re looking for kid medicine, and you don’t need Viagra.”

“Oh,” Billie said. “Mommy used to have medicines like this by her bed, and spoons, and a fire – thingy. She had rubber bands too. She used to heat up spoons and put the hot juice in her arms.”

Could this woman get any  worse ? Being an alcoholic was one thing, being a shit parent to a kid didn’t make things better, and now she did  drugs ? Man, she was up there with Tim when he was still the person he used to be. Hopefully Billie’s new family could give him all the love that his birth – giver didn’t.

He finally selected the cherry flavored cold medicine  ( his favorite  flavor ) , before they left to get warm pajamas, soup, crackers, and juice. They walked past the toy aisle, and B. noticed in one of the mirrors that Billie was looking in the toy aisle. If Billie was staying with him for  awhile , it wouldn’t hurt to get some toys for the kid, so he wouldn’t be bored out of his mind.

“You want to get some toys,  kiddo ? ” B. asked. “We can get a few toys.”

“I’ve never had one of those things before,” Billie claimed. “What do they do ?”

He took Billie off his shoulders and let him walk down the aisle to look at the various electronic drum sets, light up swords, block building sets, magnetic toys, slime kits, and action figures.

Billie then locked his eyes on a stuffed lion and a safari hat that had binoculars, beneath it all was a play mat that came with a Sahara scenery and little plastic lions, giraffes, zebras, alligators, elephants. 

“Can we get this,  B. ? ” Billie asked.

“Of course, we can,” B. answered. “Put it in the basket,  kiddo. ”

Billie took the playmat with the plastic figurines off of the shelf and went to put it in the basket. He went back and he put the hat on his head, and took the lion into his arms. He walked back to B. and held his hand as they walked to where the clothes were.

The twin thought to himself for a moment. It wouldn’t make any sense just to buy Billie pajamas. He’ll need clothes. He couldn’t just walk around town in his pajamas all the time, and he needed more than just the clothes he was wearing, also he needed a coat that fit. He took Billie into the boy clothes section, before he took a few sizes off the rack and measured them against Billie’s body. He fit in a size small by the looks of it.

“ Is there any specific outfits you want ?” B. asked. “I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

Billie immediately went to a rack that had animal clothes on it, before he and B. ended up buying one of every outfit that had an animal on it  ( which was about seven outfits, but seven outfits were better than one ). They also ended up buying a coat that had leaf prints on it, so he could have a coat that wasn’t six sizes too big for him. Of course, the kid needed shoes and boots, as well as underwear and socks. Lastly, they bought him a set of winter pajamas that had monkeys all over them.

The twin helped the boy back onto his shoulders as he carried Billie to the produce section of Save – Mart, so they could get crackers, soup, and juice.

“My mom used to make us chicken noodle soup when we were sick, and then we’d get to lay all bundled up in our blankets and watch T.V until we felt better,” B. said. “So, how does some chicken noodle soup with crackers and apple juice  sound ? Then I can show you a few movies, before we hit the sack tonight.”

“What’s a  movie ? ” Billie asked.

Wow, this kid really didn’t know anything about life. Billie was much like the Willoughby kids when they were all young. They didn’t understand much of the modern world either, but eventually, they were enrolled in school, and they learned new things from their friends  ( One of B.’s friends he maintained solid contact throughout his life with was named Elijah Wright, but Elijah wanted to join the Marines, and that he did, as he was stationed all the way over Japan. At least he ended up with a wife, named Ryoko. Lucky bastard. ).

“It’s like a story that someone else tells,” B. claimed. “It’s uhm . . . like a moving picture.”

“That sounds cool,” Billie claimed.

“They are pretty cool,” B. insisted. “I could show you one of my favorites called ‘The Dragon King’. It’s about this lizard that ends up falling into an acid bucket and he grows to be the size of buildings.”

“That’s a big lizard !!” Billie exclaimed.

The twin nodded in agreement. He couldn’t think of any cartoons to show the kid, but he was sure that Billie would find shows that he liked outside of what B. liked. B. was never a cartoon person. However, A. was, and A. would gush and chatter about different cartoons when they were kids. B.  prefered movies and shows that weren’t animated, but he also hated the stupid reality shows that Jane and Tim both took pleasure in. B. had to sit there and rot away when A. used the T.V in their room to watch ‘ SuperGuy Adventures’ and both Tim and Jane would watch this one reality show called ‘Straight  For The Castle’ which was mainly about who was dating who and stuff like that. Whoever made social status royalty won a million dollars, but they had to cheat, lie, and manipulate to get to that status. It was the most boring show B. had ever watched, but it was still better than ‘ SuperGuy Adventures’.

“Huge lizard,” B. claimed.

They finished their shopping trip before B. carried Billie out to the car again and buckled him in the front seat. He turned the heater on so they were both warm in the chilly New York weather.

“So, I’ll run you a shower, and we’ll get you cleaned up, then I’ll feed you and you can take your medicine, before we kick back for tonight,” B. listed. “Sounds good to you ?”

“ Shower ? ” Billie asked.

The twin felt a twinge of pain as Billie even asked about showers. Who knows the last time the kid had a shower, or a bath  ( maybe on the next shopping trip, B. could buy bath toys and a whole bottle of bubble bath, and the kid could have a bubble  bath ) ? It occurred to him that he probably should’ve invested in child shampoo and conditioner. At least Billie would be clean and would have the smell of wood and spruce on him, rather than grime that filled the car. B. didn’t mind the smell in the slightest, it  wasn;t like Billie could help it.

Billie took the stuffed lion out of the shopping bag and held onto it.

“I think I’m  gonna name him ‘Viagra’,” Billie claimed.

The twin panicked because he couldn’t let Billie walk around and tell people that his stuffed lion’s name was ‘Viagra’. It would make him look like a really bad influence, and he didn’t want Orphan Services to deem him a bad  influence , because he wanted to know Billie was in a good home before he let the kid go.

“Uhm, what about a different  name ? ” B. suggested.

“Dipshit !!”

“I think I like ‘Viagra’ better,” B. confirmed. “What about we call him ‘V.’ for short. Like how your name’s William, but I’m calling you Billie, or how my name’s Barnaby and you’re calling me B. ?”

“I like that,” Billie agreed. “V. Is a good short name.”

The twin gave a sigh of relief as the crisis was averted. At least that meant he won’t go telling people that his toy’s name is ‘Viagra’ or ‘Dipshit’.

They soon pulled onto a small little suburban house area, with the little starter homes, and not the huge Victorian house Tim, Jane, and Taffeta lived in. Speaking of Tim, Jane, and Taffeta, he needed to check on Smokey, Grandpa, Mortimer, and the kittens the next day before he went to work. Speaking of work, what was he going to do with  Billie ? Well, he was sure that his boss wouldn’t mind if Billie hung around for a day. It wasn’t like Billie could get kicked out of a public setting, then he could talk to Orphan Services and the police after work.

He helped Billie out of the car before he took him into the house. It felt odd to enter his house and not see artwork Sabrina used to have hung up, or the crystals she kept on the shelves, or the smell of sage or incense burning. It didn’t feel the same. It still felt like a piece of himself was missing, but he knew he couldn’t wallow in the pain, not when Billie needed to be taken care of.

He set the shopping bags down on the table before he opened the package of printed socks, underwear, and the monkey pajamas, before he took Billie to the bathroom and ran him a warm bath. Luckily, he had enough common sense to get into the bathtub on his own, though B. told him that he can’t bathe with his clothes on, before he reassured the small child that he would have clothes after he was done in the bath.

He took the tattered and filthy clothes from the child before he put them in the laundry basket, and he returned with a loofah, shower brush, and a towel. He instructed Billie how to wash himself, and told him what part of his body needed the most attention, so he wouldn’t violate the kid’s space, or have to bathe the kid himself. B. did, however, help Billie with his hair. That was something every kid needed help with so they didn’t use too much soap, or get any of the suds in their eyes. After a few scrubs and rinses, Billie’s hair went from a weird auburn brown to silky, gorgeous locks of deep orange. He looked a little healthier, albeit he needed a haircut to cut off the split ends, but the kid looked about ten times better than he did when B. found him.

Once they were done with the bath, B. wrapped Billie up in a towel and allowed him to dry off and helped him put his pajamas on before he took Billie to the living room and put ‘The Lizard King’ on the DVD player while he made soup. While the soup heated in the microwave, B. opened the medicine and gave Billie the suggested dose on the side. He brought the little cup of red liquid over to the child and handed it to him.

“It’s cherry flavored,” B. explained. “It’s medicine that’ll help you feel better. You have to drink it.”

Billie took the small medicine cup and brought it to his lips before he chugged the red syrup down, and handed it back to  B.. The kid clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and scrunched his nose.

“You don’t like it, do you ?” B. laughed. “Well, I have some soup on the way, and I know you’ll love soup more than you’ll like medicine. Medicine isn’t really supposed to taste good.”

He brought the little cup to the sink before he rinsed it out and got the bowl out of the microwave. He brought it back to Billie with a spoon, before he fetched a napkin and the crackers. He opened the pack of crackers, and gave one to the kid.

“I normally like to crush them up and let them soak in the soup,” B. claimed. “Other people think it’s gross, but I think it tastes good that way.”

Billie copied B.’s instruction, and crushed up a cracker into his soup. He used the spoon to ladle the soup from the bowl and  into his mouth.

“Mm !!” Billie exclaimed.

The child continued to crush crackers into the soup and slurp the chicken stock into his mouth until the bowl was empty, and B. used the napkin to wipe the dribbles of chicken stock from his face, so he didn’t go to bed with soup on his face.

“Did you like  that ? ” B. asked.

Bille nodded and licked his lips before he took the package of crackers from the coffee table and began to eat them on the couch as he watched the movie that played on the screen in front of him.

“I’m going to make your bed, okay kiddo ?” B. asked. “Then you’ll have a place you can sleep tonight.”

The twin got up from the couch, before he went to the linen closet and got the spare sheets, comforter, pillow cases, and blankets so he could make the bed a comfy place for Billie to sleep. Who knows how long it had been since the kid had a good night’s rest ?

He went and reassembled the bed, but it still felt strange, because he was used to seeing the black sheets, black blankets, and big white Ouija board blanket at the end of the bed. The room still felt like Sabrina’s but he knew that Sabrina would still sleep out on the couch if she still did live there with  B.. He needed to focus on what Billie needed, and that was a bed. Once the bed was ready, he went out to see that Billie had fallen asleep on the couch, with V. in his arms. He smiled and sighed to himself, before he picked up the small child and took him to the room and tucked him into the bed. B. rustled the kid’s hair before he turned to head back out and have the rest of the night to himself.

“B. ?”

The twin turned to see that Billie had woken up and he stared at B. as he rubbed his eyes.

“You’re not  gonna leave me alone, are you ?” he asked. “When mommy leaves me alone, it’s normally for a long, long time, and it’s dark, and my insides hurt, and it makes me cry.”

“Do you want me to sit over in the corner until you  sleep ? ” B. asked.

Billie nodded.

The twin went to the dining room, before he brought back one of the chairs, and he placed it in the corner of the room, before Billie laid back down. B. sat down and pulled his phone out of his pocket, as he read and responded to text messages that he didn’t have the time to respond to earlier, and looked through his social medias to catch up on all the pictures, videos, and memes he had missed throughout the day. He couldn’t help but to stop his scrolling once he reached Sabrina’s engagement photos.

The feeling inside him burned as he thought that should’ve been him getting married to Sabrina, and not that  other guy. The worst part was, she was happy. He wasn’t mad at her happiness, of course he wasn’t, he was just mad that it wasn’t him making her happy. It wasn’t like her guy was a bad guy  either. Sure, a football bat was smarter than the guy, but from what he’s seen, they were very much in love. He couldn’t help but to still have that hint of jealousy, but he also knew that this was what would make her happy, and he shouldn’t be the one to get in the way of that. He loved Sabrina, like a crush, but as a friend too. If they couldn’t be lovers, he would settle for friends, no matter how much it hurt him.

His attention was pulled away from his phone as he heard Billie talk again.

“B. ?”

“ Yeah ? ” B. asked.

“I still can’t sleep,” Billie claimed. “It’s scary being in a bed alone.”

He got up from the chair and laid on the double bed with Billie, before the kid readjusted to have B.’s arms around him. B. knew that the kid simply needed physical affection, because all kids do. When he got his first hug, he absolutely loved it. It was like he couldn’t get enough hugs. It feels nice to know that someone cares about you.

“Is this  better ? ” B. asked.

Billie smiled and nodded as he curled up against B..

“You’re never going to leave me, right, B. ?” Billie asked.

He thought for a moment. This kid wasn’t too bad, and he was sure that they’d get along just fine. It  wasn't like he took up too much space, and he didn’t have to talk to anyone else about the decision.

“Right,” B. confirmed.

Billie looked up to him with wide puppy eyes.

“Promise ?”

The twin looked down at the kid and knew immediately that this kid needed a home, and that he had a home that he could most definitely share. It was too big of a house for just himself, and it was nice to have another human spark in the house,

“Promise.”


	10. Suffering Languor

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣  𝕋𝕖𝕟  :

𝕊𝕦𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕃𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕠𝕣

◟ ◞

Tim woke up in the bedroom of the hotel room. His head was pounding, and he wanted to go back to sleep, but what was the point of coming on vacation when all he was going to do was sleep. He rolled over to see that there was juice, pain reliever, and a note on the hotel paper.

“Get your shit together. - Jane”

He groaned quietly and sat up, before he opened the bottle of orange juice and the bottle of pain relievers. He took two of the little pills and washed them down with the orange juice, before he went to the bathroom to see that he was messed up. His dark circles were pronounced and he was as pale as a ghost. He washed his face off before he went back to the bedroom so he could shower and change, because he smelled awful, like sweat and booze. He then noticed the smell of hotel waffles, cinnamon, sugar – breakfast.

Tim knew he couldn’t get breakfast when he smelled like this. He couldn’t be around Taffeta when he was like this, she didn’t need to see him when he was like this.

He messed up.

Again.

He went to the shower and showered until he knew the smell of last night's screw up was off, but he still couldn’t wash off the sticky residue of failure. He knew the bad coating of defeat would stick with him for a long while afterwards.

Once he was done, he changed and went out to see that Jane and Taffeta were at the tiny dining space, as they ate the small little beaver shaped waffles that were dripping with syrup.

“Morning,” he greeted.

“Good morning, poppa !!” Taffeta responded.

“Morning, Tim,” Jane added.

He could tell she was upset. He didn’t blame her. She had every right to be in that moment, and he knew they needed to talk about last night. Tim grabbed the plate of waffles that they brought him before they joined him at the table, he smiled as he saw that Taffeta was happy as can be, as if she didn’t hear what happened last night. That’s the way it should be. He and Jane had a problem, not him, Jane, and Taffeta.

“We’re going to go swimming again, poppa,” Taffeta claimed. “Are you going to go with us this  time ?”

Tim nodded and he yawned.

“ Of course, I will,” he insisted. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there yesterday.”

“We missed you,” Taffeta claimed. “But we still had fun.”

“Hopefully we can have fun again today,” Tim claimed.

“Hopefully,” Jane agreed. “Taffeta, why don’t you go and finish your waffle in the clubhouse and change into your bathing  suit ? Poppa and I have to talk about something.”

“You’re not going to argue again,  right ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Let’s hope not,” Jane claimed. “Go on, we’ll get you when we’re ready.”

Taffeta picked up her plate and too it into the little clubhouse, and shut the small door behind her.

Jane sighed, but she didn’t look at Tim.

“So,” she started.

“So,” he repeated.

“I know I was a little hard on you yesterday, and I was meaner than I should’ve been, it’s just . . . hard to accept certain touches after everything that happened,” she explained. “I’m still not comfortable with people’s hands being on my hips.”

“But, Jane, you know I won’t hurt you,” he insisted. “It’s never a thought that’s occurred to me.”

“I know,” she claimed. “But still, it doesn’t feel right, and then you were drunk, so I didn’t . . . I didn’t know what you were thinking. I didn’t want you to hurt me on accident or do anything you shouldn’t.”

He fell silent for a moment. She had point. It was valid and reasonable not to trust a drunk person. 

“I get it,” he answered. “I screwed up again, and I’m sorry.”

“You can’t just go and get drunk when you’re stressed out,” Jane insisted. “It’s scary when you do, because I never know if . . . we don’t know what’ll happen. You need to be around for Taffeta, for m – You need to be around in general. We just got you back.”

“I know,” he said. “I’ve just . . . really been stressed out. I think that Taffeta’s diagnosis is getting to me, and I don’t know what to do, or how to feel about it all. It’s hard, because I do love her. She’s been one of the biggest lights in my life in a very long time, and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her.”

“I know,” Jane empathized.

She grabbed his hand and ran her thumb gently over the back of his hand.

“Me too,” she said. “It’s scary, and it keeps me up some nights, because you never know if she stops breathing or if her heart stops working. It’s not like she’d be able to tell us, you  know ? On top of that, there’s nothing we can do to stop it. We just have to take it as it comes.”

“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “She seems to be doing fine,  but, you know . . . death just . . .  **_ happens _ ** .”

She nodded and scooted her chair closer to him.

“We need you now more than ever, Tim,” she said. “You’re a huge part of the family – of our family. If you were gone, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. As I said before, Taffeta needs you. I -”

She cut herself off before she picked up her plate and tossed it into the garbage can.

“We should probably get dressed,” Jane claimed. “Then we can head down to the park and have a few hours there before we come back and think about other things we could do. There’s an aquarium here, and I’m sure that Taffeta would love to go and see the manta rays and jellyfish.”

“That would be nice,” Tim agreed. “We have to do something on this trip, we can’t just sit in the room and be miserable, you know.”

Jane smiled at him and nodded. 

“Exactly what I was thinking.”

He smiled at her too, as he finished his waffle and threw his plate away too.

Both he and Jane went to the bedroom, where they pulled out their bathing suits and Jane went into the bathroom to change as Tim stayed in the bedroom to change into his trunks and tank top. He folded the clothes he changed into and put them back onto the bed, so he could change back into them when they got back from the waterpark. 

The bedroom door  opened, and Taffeta came inside, wearing her bathing suit, before she got onto the bed.

“Are you excited for the waterpark,  poppa ? ”  Taffeta asked.

“Couldn’t be more excited, lima bean,” Tim claimed.

That was a lie, he still had a throbbing migraine, and he wanted to be in bed still. He knew he needed to get over his selfish desires, because he wasn’t supposed to be selfish anymore. It was selfish to wallow in his own pity, it was selfish to do things that only benefitted him. He had to think about Taffeta, and put her first. He hadn’t been doing that as much as he should’ve been.

“There’s so many waterslides, and there’s this thing called a wave pool,” Taffeta explained. “I don’t really like the wave  pool; it always feels like I’m  gonna drown.”

“Well, that would never happen on mine and momma’s watch,” Tim insisted. “Both your momma and I can swim pretty well, so we’d get you if you ever  got swept away.”

“You mean that ?” Taffeta asked.

“Of course, I do,” Tim confirmed. “It’s our job to look out for you.”

“Like it’s my job to look out for you  guys ? ” Taffeta asked.

“You don’t have to do that,” Tim commented. “We’re the parents, which means we’re supposed to look out for you, since you’re the kid.”

“But we can all look out for  eachother ,” Taffeta repeated. “We’re a family, and that means we have to help  eachother out when the others need it.”

Jane then opened the door to the bathroom, and came out in her monokini.

“You guys  ready ? ” she asked.

Taffeta, Jane, and Tim all left the bedroom and left the hotel room before they went down to the waterpark and Tim shielded his eyes from the light. The sun that came through the sky light was much harsher than the dim lighting of the hotel room. He felt his head throb in agony, but he knew he couldn’t just leave the family. 

He was present.

He was there now.

Taffeta took Tim’s hand before she pulled him into the  waterpark , as Jane went to put Taffeta’s crutches and their towels into a locker while they went around the waterpark.

“Is there anything you and momma did yesterday that you want to do  again ? ” Tim asked.

“The wave pool,” Taffeta answered.

Tim knitted his eyebrows in confusion, since she said that she didn’t like the wave pool back in the hotel room, because it made her feel like she was going to drown.

“I thought you didn’t like the wave pool,” Tim reminded.

He didn’t want to take her in, and then she freaks out because she felt like she was going to drown.

“I live for danger, poppa,” Taffeta claimed. “I like to live on the edge.”

He laughed softly as he took her over to the wave pool, and he waded in the water with her, though he still held onto her hand.

She confidently walked out with one hand on her hip as she walked past the water jets with her nose in the air. Taffeta smiled a smile that was oh, so similar to Tim’s when he was right  ( The one that made Jane want to knock his teeth out. ). It was as if she was strutting down a catwalk, as she pulled Tim behind herself.

The jets for the wave pool turned on and all of that confidence quickly faded, as she squealed and ran to Tim before she clung to his hips and climbed up and he held her in his arms. Her nails dug into his shoulder as she shivered and hid her face into Tim’s neck.

He couldn’t help but to laugh to himself as she hid from the water. It was a lot like when she was a baby, and she was scared of her own burps and both he and Jane had to calm her down and reassure her that her burps weren’t there to hurt her. He held onto her as the water was only midway up his calves  ( and yes, people did stare at his enormous size, but he was used to the stares at this point in his life – he's been six foot seven for a good thirteen years now. ). The waves barely bothered him; he could barely feel them, but Taffeta was only three feet tall and weighed about the same as six bags of flour. 

Once the waves were over, Taffeta looked up to see that Jane had come and met up with them over at the wave pool, and waded her way into the water next to them.

“So you tried to come in here again ?” Jane asked her.

“I thought I was brave enough, momma,” Taffeta claimed. “I wasn’t brave at all.”

“Maybe next time,” Tim reassured. “Baby steps, I’m sure you won’t be scared of a wave pool forever. Maybe when you get a little older, you might love them !!”

“I used to be scared of haircuts,” Jane claimed. “I still don’t like them very much, but I’m not scared of them anymore, but it took me a few years before I wasn’t scared anymore.”

“And I’m still a little scared of the dark,” Tim added. “But I know I’ll always have your momma next to me, so the dark isn’t as scary as it used to be.”

“C - Can we go and do something else ?” Taffeta asked. “M - Maybe we can try again when we leave.”

“Well, we have big plans for today,” Jane claimed. “We want to do other things too.”

Taffeta pouted and furrowed her eyebrows.

“It’s not going to be boring, is  it ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Nope,” Tim reassured. “We’re going to the aquarium. We’re going to see sharks, dolphins, sting rays -”

“Are we going to see jellyfish ?” Taffeta asked.

“What kind of aquarium trip would it be if we didn’t see the jellyfish ?” Jane asked. “ Of course we’re going to see the jellyfish, they’re one of the most important parts of the aquarium.”

Tim begged to differ. He loved to see things like seals and turtles, but if they wanted to see the jellyfish, then he’d sit in the jellyfish exhibit for as long as they wanted to. Besides, he was more of a botanical garden or a zoo kind of person. If he were to have chosen an outing, he would’ve picked a museum, but the last time they went to the museum back in the city, Taffeta got incredibly bored, even when B. did a presentation on fashion staples of the eighties  ( which had a bit of Willoughby history in there, and that was the only part Taffeta liked. ). 

“Do you want to show poppa the one waterslide you really  liked ? ” Jane asked.

“Oh !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “That one was like a water rollercoaster !!”

Tim jumped at the idea of a rollercoaster, because he hated  rollercoaters . They went to an amusement park the first summer vacation they ever had, and Tim went on one rollercoaster, before he decided that he hated them. He and B. would normally wait on the ground with  Melanoff as Nanny, Jane, A., and Ruth when she got old enough went on rollercoasters.

“It’s so fun, poppa !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “You’ll love it !!”

“I’m sure I will,” Tim lied.

He squinted at Jane, as she snickered at him. She knew that he disliked rollercoasters, and she knew that he would do anything to make Taffeta happy, so Jane threw him into this paradox of a situation.

They exited the wave pool before they walked to the line of the waterslide that was called “River Rapids”. Jane stood at the end of the slide so she could see Tim and Taffeta shoot out at the end. Taffeta held Tim’s hand as they went through the line.

“It doesn’t last very long, poppa,” Taffeta claimed. “Momma and me went about four times, because it goes really fast. You stand in line longer than you do waiting.”

Tim felt somewhat of a reassurance, but his heart still fluttered, because he hated fast. He hated driving on freeways due to the speed limit being about eighty depending on the freeway. It was all too fast. All he needed to do was close his eyes, and not pee  ( which he has done in scary situations, but hopefully this waterslide won’t be that scary. It wasn’t like the waterslide would be anything like almost getting hit by a bus. ).

“The next ride I’ll go on with momma,” Taffeta insisted. “You’re holding my hand really tight, poppa. Are you scared ?”

“I’m not scared of a waterslide !!” Tim exclaimed.

That was a lie.

He felt his skin get clammy, though he was thankful that he had sweat out the alcohol overnight, so he didn’t smell like alcohol, and that he smelled like sweat, which would be covered up by the smell of chlorine.

They soon made it to the beginning of the waterslide, were given a speech about safety on the slide, and handed the tube. Tim put Taffeta between his legs and she gripped onto his calves and laughed as Tim’s grip on the handles of the tube tightened until his knuckles were bright white and his palms filled with blood.

He closed his eyes as the person that ran the slide pushed the tube forward.

The tube went along the slide at a rather leisurely pace and Tim opened one of his eyes as he looked around. He opened both eyes and looked around to see that it wasn’t as bad as he thought. He loosened his grip on the handles  ( though he didn’t loosen his hold on Taffeta with his legs, he wasn’t going to put Taffeta in any danger, even if it seemed safe at the moment. ).

He was right to not trust the slide as they went down a dip and he tightened his grip on the handles before his heart pounded against his chest and his breath hitched.

“Whoa !!” he gasped.

Taffeta laughed at him before she leaned the tube forward to go faster down the slide and Tim held it back as he pressed his back against the tube and held his weight against the tube, and wrapped one of his legs around Taffeta, so she didn’t accidentally slip and fall out. 

He waited for a moment, before he braced himself for another speedy, stomach flipping drop that he held back a scream to, as Taffeta squealed and shrieked in joy at the feeling. He watched as she shimmed and bounced on the front of the tube as she looked forward. Tim gagged audibly at the feeling of his stomach as it did a  somersault inside of him.

“Poppa, this is the big one !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

She was indeed right as it felt like they went down the last drop forever. Taffeta laughed and screeched in sheer excitement and joy as they went down, and her eyes were shut, so she didn’t even notice that Tim bit his lips shut so he didn’t scream or gag the entire way down.

His nails dug into the plastic handles of the tube and his toes curled as they went down. It felt like they were falling from a skyscraper, but he couldn’t say that out loud, because Taffeta loved the ride. He wasn’t going to ruin his daughter love of thrill and adventure, just because he hated every single thing that was going on within that moment. He gave a gasp of relief as their tube hit the pool at the bottom. 

Taffeta got out and waded through the shallow pool to get to Jane, who waited for them at the end.

Jane laughed and howled at how pale Tim’s face had gotten from the ride. He got out of the tube, with gelatin knees, as he hiked the tube out of the water and put it back onto the rack that took it back up to the top. He met with Jane and Taffeta outside of the pool.

“I hate you,” he whispered to Jane.

She simply giggled and put her hand on his shoulder as he straightened himself out.

“I’m glad you went with her,” she said. “She had fun, Tim. Isn’t that more important ?”

“I hate it even more when you have a point,” he claimed.

She gave him a smile before she pinched his cheek and looked down to Taffeta.

“Okay,  Taff , we should go on a slower ride,” Jane suggested. “One that doesn’t make your poppa almost pee his trunks.”

“Were you scared,  poppa ? ” Taffeta asked.

“I wasn’t scared,” Tim clarified. “I was surprised.”

“Surprised, sure,” Jane snorted. “Why don’t we go in the Lazy  River ? That might be more your pace, Tim.”

They ended up going on the Lazy River a few times, before they went on a few more waterslides  ( and by ‘they’, that meant Taffeta and Jane, while Tim watched from the sidelines. He was a much better waterslide watcher than a waterslide  go – er anyways . ) , before Taffeta wanted to go and play at the kiddie pool with the rest of the kids her age, which allowed for Jane and Tim to sit in the pool chairs and relax while they watched Taffeta.

“See, isn’t this better than laying drunk in a hotel  room ? ” Jane asked.

Tim nodded in agreement, because even though his head hurt, and his body ached; he had more fun with his family than he would’ve holed up in his hotel room.

“Spending time with you is always more fun,” Tim claimed.

“Then why did you choose drinking over us last  night ? ” Jane asked. “I’m not pissed off or anything, I’m just . . . confused. I don’t get the appeal. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a few drinks socially, but with you . . . I know it’s different.”

Tim shrugged before he leaned back in the chair.

“It’s hard to explain,” he explained. “It’s like my body . . . when I get stressed out, I need it. It’s more like I don’t want to feel upset, so I prevent it from happening. I’ve tried anti – depressants, and I didn’t like the way they affected me.”

“Would you ever try going to a therapist  again ? ” Jane asked.

“I want to focus more on Taffeta,” Tim said. “She needs more medical help than I do right now. I already know that her hospital bills would rack up our insurance payments and -”

“Tim, I know you care about Taffeta, I do too,” Jane claimed. “But we can’t be there for Taffeta if we let ourselves go. You matter just as much as she does, and Taffeta needs you to be healthy too. We can’t focus on her if we’re barely getting by ourselves.”

He was quiet, as he thought about her words. Maybe a therapist wouldn’t be bad to have again. He needed to get back onto his path of recovery, because he did need to be there for Taffeta. He took that role into his life, and it wasn’t a role to be taken lightly. He needed to be serious about being Taffeta’s poppa, and he needed to get his shit together. He couldn’t quit now, not like Troy did, not like their parents did. He needed to be there for his family.

“I’ll think about it,” he said. “I want to get better, and I know I can’t pin everything on you and Taffeta.”

“We want you to be okay,” Jane responded. “But you have to want to get better too.”

He nodded before he reached over and held Jane’s hand.

“I promise you can trust me,” Tim reassured. “Starting today, I’m putting my best foot forward again. No drinking, I’ll go to all of my meetings, and maybe I’ll see a therapist. I want to be there for you guys. I don’t want to fail you ever again.”

“You better mean that,” Jane said. “I’m going to hold you to it.”

“Please do,” Tim insisted. “You have every right to get upset at me after today.”

Jane nodded as Taffeta came up from the pool and shook off.

“When are we  gonna go to the  aquarium ? ” Taffeta asked.

“We can head back to the hotel room and shower so we can get dressed and ready for the aquarium,” Tim explained. “It’s not  like the waterpark is going to pick up and leave when we’re at the aquarium, right ?”

Jane nodded and they all headed back to get their key card, and their things out of their locker.

Tim looked at his phone to see that he had two missed calls from B., and he called his brother back as they walked down the hallway. Jane and Taffeta walked ahead of them, so they could both get into the shower together so  it wouldn’t be a long wait for the both of them to shower.

Once the busy tone rang, he heard his brother on the other end of the line.

“Hey Tim,” B. greeted.

“What’s up ?” Tim asked. “What did you need ?”

“I had a question, because I’m kind of doing a thing, and I need your help,” B. explained. “But we’re going to need to make this talk a little quick because I only have twenty minutes left for my lunch.”

“B., what are these ?”

Tim knitted his eyebrows in confusion at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. It was a kid’s voice. What would he be doing at Sabrina’s family’s place if Sabrina was busy with her new boy toy ?

“Hang on a minute, kiddo. I’m on the phone,” B. said. “Anyways, I wanted to ask if the preschool by the museum was a good preschool. You’re a dad, so I thought you might know.”

“Who was that ?” Tim asked.

“Hm ?”

“The  kid ? Is that one of Sabrina’s nephews, nieces, cousins – whatever ?”

“Oh,  uhm . . .” B. paused for a moment. “I’m uh . . .  dopting – aye  a id – kay.”

Tim stood for a moment to decipher what his brother said, before the Pig Latin clicked in his head.

“You’re  **_ what  _ ** ? ” Tim asked. “Who trusted you with a  **_ kid  _ ** ? ”

“Hey, I'm actually doing a good job with him !!” B. defended. “You have to meet him, he’d pretty cool.”

“Does anyone else know yet ?” Tim asked. “I’m sure that Nanny and  Melanoff would love to know that they have another grandkid, I mean, after they’ve been pressuring Patience and A. to give them another grandbaby.”

“Nobody else knows yet, we’re still getting through the boring paperwork,” B. explained. “O.S wants me to have a secure school too. It’s part of the requirements. I also have to get him on my insurance and get him caught up on his shots.”

“Well, I’ve heard from other parent friends that the one by the museum is pretty good,” Tim claimed. “Kids Blossom Inc.,  right ? Taffeta went to Little Sprouts, but you know, we kind of have a double income household.”

“Oh, piss off,” B. argued. “I’m doing my best here.”

“That didn’t come out right,” Tim sighed. “What I’m saying is, it took a good chunk of our paycheck to send Taffeta to the school she went to, and I’d rather you not spend all your savings on preschool.”

“I won’t,” B. stated. “But school is important, I want him to be able to read and stuff. He’s a good kid, I want him to go far in life.”

“What’s his  name ? ” Tim asked.

“William Archer Calvin Willoughby,” B. announced. “But he goes by Billie.”

“Is he named after - ?” Tim started.

“Yes, he’s named after  Willoughbys of the past,” B. confirmed. “The ones I cared to remember anyway.”

“Ouch,” Tim said. “Is our history really that boring ?”

“Look, Tim, I’m not a history nerd like you,” B. justified. “I just like art, and some of the other things.”

“Well, if you ask me, the preschool by the museum is a good preschool,” Tim redirected. “Maybe we should all get together for dinner when we get back, then we can meet the kid, and welcome him to the family.”

“I’m sure he’d like that,” B. agreed. “Anyways, thanks Tim. That’s a huge help.”

“You’re welcome,” Tim said. “Anyways, send Jane pictures of the cats. She and Taffeta miss them, and I’m sure it’ll be a welcome surprise for the both of them.”

“I will,” B. reassured. “Have a nice vacation.”

“Thank you,” Tim dismissed.

They both hung up as Tim went inside the hotel room to see that Jane and Taffeta were on the couch, as Jane brushed Taffeta’s hair into two pigtails as opposed to leaving it down for the trip, and Jane had her hair up in a ponytail, which in all honesty, made her look younger  ( though she didn’t look old at all, Willoughby genes. Younger as in she looked like she was in her early twenties rather than her late twenties, even though she was in her early thirties. ).

“You two almost  ready ? ” he asked.

“Almost,” Jane told him. “We’ll be ready to go by the time you shower.”

Tim nodded before he went into the bathroom and got the clothes he laid out earlier before he went into the shower so he could get ready.

“I wonder how Phoebe and Anya are doing without me,” Taffeta sighed. “It’s always sad when one of us aren’t there. It makes it hard to stick up against Whitney, Sophie, and Katsuki when we’re all not there.”

“Don’t those girls have anything better to do ?” Jane asked. “It seems like all those girls do is pick on you three. Well . . .”

She thought back to her  highschool days. Yes, Jane was popular back in the day, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t a fair share of people that hated her guts. Queen just so happened to be one of them. They got into a fight on prom night and Queen tried to flip the punch bowl onto Jane  ( and B. lovingly took the hit of punch before he fell to the ground and was laughed at. It was sweet to see how A. went and rolled in the punch puddle with his brother so he wouldn’t be the only sticky mess that night . ) . For the longest time, that woman hated her, all because she wanted Tim to herself, and once she got Tim to herself, she treated him like shit.

“’ Well ’ what,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Bullies are bullies, and they sometimes won’t stop even when they aren’t really getting anything out of it,” Jane explained. “It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it happens.”

“Will it be like this forever ?’ Taffeta asked.

“Hopefully not,” Jane soothed. “Maybe someday, Whitney and her family will move all the way to Los Angeles and we’ll never have to see them again.:

Taffeta giggled at the comment, because even to the five – year – old, that sounded like paradise.


	11. The Fact Of Axiom

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣  𝔼𝕝𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟  :

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕒𝕔𝕥 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕩𝕚𝕠𝕞

◟ ◞

Patience was on the porch when A. came home for lunch. He could immediately tell that something was wrong once he saw her, because she wasn’t excited to see him. Normally she would run out the house or jump off the porch to run out and meet him, and Maddie tagged along behind her. This time, she sat on the porch and sipped on her tea.

“Hey honey,” he greeted. “What’s  wrong ? ”

She shook her head and scooted over on the bench to allow him to sit down.

“I had a little argument with Maddie today,” she answered. “Well, we’ve been arguin’.”

“She’s four, honey,” A. reminded. “What could you two argue  about ? That dragons aren’t real ?”

“She went and cut up one of her dresses again, and threw it at me,” Patience claimed. “She keeps  tellin ’ me that she’s a boy, and she doesn’t need dresses, and no matter how many times I tell her that she isn’t, she still tells me that I don’t understand.”

He knitted his eyebrows before he thought about the talk that he and Tim had the other night. Maybe, as drunk as he might’ve been, Tim had a point. A. knew he needed to talk to his kid, so he could possibly understand in ways Patience might not’ve.

“I’ll go and talk to her,” A. said.

“Lunch is on the table,” Patience said.

“Thank you, honey,” he dismissed.

He walked inside and looked in their dining room to see their kid, as they sat at the table, and picked at their dinosaur chicken nuggets, which was their favorite food.

“Hey scamp,” A. greeted. “Mommy told me you guys got into a fight.”

“Daddy, my heart has boy parts,” Maddie insisted. “It has what you have.”

That was quite possibly the weirdest thing he’s heard in  awhile , but it was probably made the most sense in the four – year – old's mind.

“I don’t like dresses, I don’t like my hair, and I hate my name,” they claimed. “I want a new one.”

“Okay, let’s talk this through first, scamp,” A. said.

He sat down at the table and looked down at his plate to see fried chicken with macaroni. He smiled as that was his favorite meal. It was nice to know that, even though his wife wasn’t feeling the greatest, she still cared enough to make him something he liked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Maddie said. “You won’t understand, just like mommy didn’t.”

“No, I want to talk about it so I can understand,” A. corrected. “If you don’t tell me about it, I won’t know how to help you or make you feel better.”

“You won’t understand,” Maddie repeated.

“Then help me understand,” A. insisted. “How long have you been feeling this way.”

“A very, very long time,” Maddie claimed. “Ever since I was in mommy’s tummy.”

“You can remember that far back ?” A. asked.

It was simply to humor his kid, because they were four. They probably were exaggerating because that’s what four – year –  olds do, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t decipher what it meant. Maddie had more than likely felt this way ever since they were very young, and that was . . . plausible. They had never really liked girl things, and even the most tomboy –  ish of tomboys liked some girl things, like their hair or their dolls  ( He watched Maddie rip off a doll’s head and stuff it with mud the other day, before she threw it at her cousin,  Whitney ) .

“Yes,” Maddie insisted. “I wanted to have boy parts, but my body gave me girl parts, even though I wanted boy parts.”

“Is that  right ? ” A. asked. “So, are you trying to say that you would feel better if mommy and I treated you like a boy, or are you okay being a girl ?”

“I’m a boy, daddy,” Maddie stated. “I don’t want to be a girl, I just have girl parts.”

“So, you are a boy,” A. confirmed. “Your parts just say that you aren’t ?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to tell mommy ?” A. asked. “Maybe I might be able to help her understand better.”

“Please ?” Maddie asked.

He picked up his plate and brought it outside with him as he sat back on the bench with Patience.

“So,” he started.

“What did she tell you ?” Patience asked.

“That she feels more comfortable as a boy, and she wants that to be respected,” A. said. “I think we should respect it for -”

“But she’s not a boy !!” Patience cried. “We  saw !! We saw on the  ultrasound !! We saw everything. God gave us a little girl. He gave me a little girl !!”

“But Patience, Maddie’s a living person, with a mind of their own,” A. claimed. “Maddie doesn’t feel comfortable as a boy, and Maddie never did any of this to hurt you, but by telling Maddie that she’s not how she feels, it’s hurting them.”

“It hurts, A.,” Patience said. “I feel like I’m losing my baby girl.”

He couldn’t help the swelling in his chest. He couldn’t tell if he was angry, but he took his medication before he came to the house, so he should be fine, and he always had the one rule to never, ever explode on his family in mind. He set his plate down on the arm of the bench, before he put his arm around his wife.

“You’re not losing Maddie,” A. soothed. “Maddie is just living how Maddie wants to live. He’s finally going to be himself.”

He laughed quietly as he thought back to when Sabrina told them that Patience was going to have a boy, and how much they thought that was a load of  horsecrap . Maybe it wasn’t a total load of  tikki \-  wikki bullshit. If this wasn’t a phase, Sabrina would’ve totally been right. 

“Maybe Sabrina was onto something,” he chided.

He realized that now wasn’t the time to joke as he heard Patience, as she started to cry. A. pulled a packet of tissues from his jacket pocket as she pulled a tissue out and blew her nose.

“Take however many you need,” A. comforted. “I have more in the truck.”

“Why does it feel like I messed up ?” Patience asked. “Did I force too many girl things on her ?”

“Him,” A. corrected.

“But she’s not -”

“Yes, Patience,  **_ he  _ ** **_ is _ ** ,” A. said. “I know it’s hard to accept, but right now, Maddie feels better as a him. Hey, who  knows ? A few years from now, this might all be a phase and Maddie might feel better as a ‘she’ again, but right now, we have to make him feel comfortable, and that means treating him like our son, and not make him feel bad if he decides that he feels more like a girl again in a few years.”

She still continued to cry as he brought her in for a hug, and ran his fingers through her hair. He let her cry it out on him, because he knew that this would be a huge change for her, but what he wanted Patience to understand is that this was an even bigger change for Maddie.

“M - Maybe . . .” A. started. “Maybe, you should talk to Maddie, and listen to his side of the story, and you don’t tell him that he’s not a boy. You might be able to learn something about him, and why he feels the way he feels.”

“Are you sure ?” Patience asked. “What if Maddie tells me I failed ?”

“We’re failing him more by not listening to him,” A. reasoned. “He needs us right now, and we’re sitting out here, feeling sorry for ourselves, when he needs us to help him feel accepted and loved.”

“He is loved,” Patience said.

“Then let’s show him that he is,” A. said. “Go in there and talk to him.”

He then looked to the side to see their cattle dog, as he eyed A.’s plate and wagged his tail. He picked up a leg bone and tossed it to the dog.

“Fetch, Nugget,” A. called. “And stop looking at my chicken.”

He helped Patience up from the bench and brought her inside. He let her keep the packet of tissues, in case she needed them again  ( because he knew either Patience, or Maddie . . . or Patience would . ) . They both sat at the table with Maddie, as he picked at his nuggets.

“You love nuggets,” Patience whispered.

“Not hungry,” Maddie  claimed .

“Are you not hungry because you’re not hungry, or because you’re  upset ? ” Patience asked.

“You don’t listen to me,” Maddie said. “You never listen.”

Patience winced at the statement, because as much as she hated to admit being wrong, Maddie was right this time – Patience was in the wrong, because she constantly forced how she felt on Maddie, rather than let Maddie explain how Maddie felt.

“I’m here to listen to you now,” Patience reassured. “Is there anything you want to tell  me ? ”

“I’m a boy,” Maddie repeated. “I’m a boy, mommy.”

“Okay, so, you’re a boy,” Patience confirmed. “What makes you feel this way ?”

“My heart,” Maddie explained. “My heart has boy parts, but my body has girl parts. I want to be a boy, like daddy. I want to look like daddy, and have a mustache like daddy.”

Patience looked to A., as he laughed to himself. He had never really told Patience that even the great Willoughby women grew mustaches, and he knew that one day, their son would have a mustache. He was great, whether he was their son or their daughter.

“So, you want to look like  daddy ? ” Patience asked.

“I want to be like daddy,” Maddie claimed. “I want to cut my hair, and I don’t want to wear dresses. I don’t want to be called ‘Maddie’ anymore, I want a new name.”

“A . . .” Patience hesitated. “A new name ?”

She looked at A. as he put his hand on his shoulder and nodded. It was time to help their son out, and that meant changing his name to something different.

“ Wh \- When you were in m – my belly . . .” Patience shuttered. “We . . . we were going to name you ‘Shane Samuel Elliot Willoughby’ if you were born a boy.”

“Shane . . .” Maddie whispered.

He repeated it under his breath multiple times as he studied the plate of chicken nuggets in front of him. He smiled and looked up from his plate at his parents.

“I like it,” he said.

“You like  Shane ? ” A. asked. “I mean, you could’ve totally  went with ‘ Gigathorb ; Destroyer  Of Worlds’, but, sure, Shane.”

Shane laughed as he picked up a chicken nugget and tore off the little dinosaur head, before he dipped it in ketchup.

“You’re funny, daddy,” he giggled.

“So, you want us to start calling you ‘Shane ’ ? ” Patience asked.

She pulled another tissue from the packet and wiped more tears from her face, as she finally let the idea of having a little girl go. She never had a little girl, she forced her little boy to be a girl for so long, but now it was time to finally let her son be her son.

“Can we burn my dresses ?” Shane asked.

“I don’t see a problem with that,” A. said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Patience said. “We should still keep them, because what if we have a little  girl ? Then we won’t have to go shopping for another wardrobe.”

“Then can we go and get me boy  clothes ? ” Shane asked. “And make my room a boy  room ? I want to paint it blue and red.”

“What about we paint all the walls white and then have a blue and red accent wall ?” Patience asked. “I’m sure that Auntie Sabrina and Uncle John might want to help.”

“Uncle John’s dumber than football bat,” Shane shaded. “But at least he’s strong.”

Patience was about to scold Shane for the comment before she laughed to herself. Maybe Shane didn’t change that much, and he was still the same kid on the inside.

“Let’s not tell him that,” Patience said. “It’s still not very nice.”

“Even if we all think that,” A. added. “I still think she would’ve been better off with B..”

“We both do, dear,” Patience agreed. “But she’s happy, and your brother will move on.”

“Anyways,” A. started. “Do you want to go and change into something  else, you are kind of sitting at the table in a long sleeve shirt and your underwear.”

Shane ate the last dinosaur nugget on his plate before he nodded and wiggled from the chair before A. lead his son back up to his room. They opened his closet and A. looked through dress after dress, in an attempt to find some pants  ( it was too cold to wear shorts . ) . He finally found a pair of overalls, before he helped his son into them.

“It’s kind of cold outside,” A. claimed. “And I think you’re big enough to fit in this.”

He  lead his son to his and Patience’s room, before he went into their closet and pulled out a box that he blew the dust off of. He opened the box and pulled out a small, emerald green sweater  ( he and B. still switched sweaters out of pure habit, even when they both had a sweater to wear, and he was the last one to wear the green sweater. ). He handed it to his son and swept his own bangs from his face.

“That’s the same sweater I used to wear as a kid,” A. explained.

“ So it’s a boy  sweater ? ” Shane asked.

“It’s a boy sweater,” A. confirmed.

Well, a girl could’ve totally worn it, and he planned on giving the sweater to Shane eventually anyways, even if Shane was still Maddie.

Shane slid into his sweater and beamed as he raced to the mirror in the room, he spun around and looked at himself as he admired his new look. He looked at his dad and laughed.

“You know what else you need ?” A. asked.

“What ?” Shane asked.

Shane ran in place, as he was excited for what was next in his makeover. He was finally turning into the boy that he had always been on the inside. He had a name that suit him, an outfit that showed who he was, and now there was more. It had been a very exciting day for both of us.

“A haircut,” A. claimed. “Your hair’s a bit . . . choppy.”

He took his son into the bathroom, and sat Shane down on the toilet. He went into the drawers of the bathroom, before he pulled out a towel and a pair of scissors. A. got onto his knees and started to clip off the longer locks so they matched the shorter ones  ( Shane had been rocking a rat tail for a good while at this point, and regardless of what other guys thought, a rat tail was hideous . ) . He didn’t shave his head, because nobody was truly ready to see Shane without hair. If Shane wanted to shave his head when he was older, A. and Patience wouldn’t stop him, but right now . . . no.

When he finally finished, he reached for the hand mirror and handed it to his son.

Shane gasped and laughed as he saw his new look, he finally saw a reflection that matched the inside. He finally knew the person that looked back at him, there he was. Shane laughed and reached forward to hug his dad, and he even cried into his dad’s arms, because he finally felt like . . . himself.

“Thank you, daddy,” Shane whispered.

His dad hugged him back and he couldn’t help but to smile too. After all the years of his son rejecting everything that was given to him, he finally accepted something, he was finally happy. It was nice to see his son accept something that he and Patience did for him, but they couldn’t be mad, because they gave him  things, he made clear that he never wanted. 

“You’re welcome, scamp,” A. answered. “We’d do anything for you, you know that, right ?”

That was true, because A. wouldn’t work a second job if he didn’t care about Patience or Shane. He cared so much for his little family, and he would go to whatever length he had to in order to keep them happy, and he would keep working in the future if Shane wanted hormone therapy, or anything else someone like him would need. Work . . . he needed to get back to the shop soon.

“Hey scamp, I got to head back to work,” A. said. “Be nice to your mommy, will you ?”

“I will,” Shane said.

He  lead his son back downstairs, and watched as he went out the back door to play with Nugget and head to the stables to visit his Shetland, named ‘Corn’.

He brought Patience into a hug as she looked out the kitchen window, to watch their son laugh and smile like they had rarely ever seen him do. He finally seemed to act like a kid, and not a grumpy bridge troll, as he chased Nugget around the yard and played ‘Tug - Of – War’ with the dog.

“Be easy on him, Patience,” A. reminded. “You know he never did any of this to hurt you.”

She sniffed and brought her husband into another hug.

“I know he didn’t,” she said.

Patience laughed at herself, as she wiped more of her tears.

“I - It’s . . . nice,” she claimed. “To see him happy.”

“Yeah, think of it like that,” A. insisted. “He’s happy, and that’s what matters. That’s we always try to do, make the family happy, and Shane’s a huge part of the family.”

She nodded before she kissed him on his cheek.

“You  gotta head back to work, don’t you ?” she asked.

“Unfortunately,” A. said. “ But, I have the night off tonight, so I’ll be here with you and Shane.”

“Good,” Patience said. “I’ll probably make a roast tonight, it’s been a big day for all of us.”

“I’m sure he’ll love that,” A. claimed. “Shane loves your roasts – everyone does as a matter of fact.”

“Oh, stop it, you,” she laughed. “They aren’t that good.”

“Yes, they are !!” A. exclaimed. “I’ll be looking forward to it all day !!”

“Well, you better get back to work, so they don’t try to keep you all late,” Patience said.

She planted a kiss on his lips and pulled a strand of hair behind his ears.

“I love you, Barnaby,” she said.

“I love you too, honey,” he dismissed.

He left out the front of the house and got back into the car, before he sighed. He looked in the passenger seat to see his duffle bag for his other job before he tossed it in the backseat. He was glad he didn’t have to work again that night. After that night that Tim caught him out on the job, work had been weird, and even Queen had been a client of his. He didn’t think the job could’ve been any weirder, but it indeed got weirder.

He pulled out of the farm, before he turned on his radio and heard the catch pop beat of a song that claimed ‘people are born the way they are, and they’re allowed to be proud of it’. How appropriate considering what happened with his own son. He knew he needed to call the family, but it would have to wait until after work, because he didn’t want his boss to dump a bunch of work onto him at the last minute. A. turned the radio up a few notches and listened to the rest of the song with a smile on his face.


	12. Cherish The Present

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕧𝕖 :

ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕙 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥

◟ ◞

They rented one of the wagons that the aquarium had to offer, so Taffeta wouldn’t need to walk through the entire aquarium. Jane handed Tim the handle, and let him take the first shift of the aquarium trip, until he got tired, then Jane would take over, and vice versa.

“When are we going to see the  jellyfish ? ” Taffeta asked.

“When we get to them, they’re close to the end of the aquarium,” Jane explained.

Jane looked at the map, in order to see what the aquarium had to offer. They had jellyfish, starfish, dolphins, and they even had different types of whales  ( not a Blue Whale, sadly, but that was reasonable. Blue Whales were far too big to be held in captivity . ) !! They had penguins, puffins, and otters too, which some aquariums never offered. 

Tim looked at the pamphlets that were held in a rack by the ticket booth, and saw a bright, colorful pamphlet labeled ‘New York Children’s Museum’, before he opened it and flipped through. He had been to kids museums before, but he much appreciated adult museums. The interactive exhibits never interested him, and he felt that it was more play, than it was education.

“What’s that, poppa ?” Taffeta asked.

“Oh, it’s  uhm . . .”

“A kids museum !!” Jane exclaimed. “Maybe we could go there tomorrow – that would be so fun for Taffeta. She could learn so much from there !!”

“What do you really  **_ learn  _ ** from  them ? ” Tim asked.

Jane scoffed and shook her head as she fed their tickets into the ticket box, which allowed the gates of the aquarium to open for all three of them. 

“That’s not the point, Tim,” Jane claimed. “We’re on  **_ vacation _ ** . It’s supposed to be  **_ fun _ ** . Not  **_ boring _ ** .”

“Yeah, poppa,” Taffeta agreed. “I want to do something  **_ fun _ ** .”

He sighed and shook his head as the doors to the actual aquarium opened and they were in a dark room, only illuminated by the multiple fish tanks that were filled with different types of tropical fish. Kids ran back and forth between tanks, and looked at the fish, some chattered about how cool the fish were, and others mimicked the fish faces. 

“Wow . . .” Taffeta gasped. “Look at all those  fishes !! Look momma, those are the fishes we saw in that cartoon the other day !!”

Taffeta kneeled in the wagon and pointed to the tank of clownfish that swam around and brushed themselves in the corals and anemones.

“Can we go and look at them,  please ? ” she begged.

Tim pushed the wagon towards the tank as Taffeta stood to look at the little plaques on the side of the tanks, all of which had little facts about clownfish on the side of them.

Tim was basically chest level with one that read, “All clownfish are born as males, but when the alpha female passes away, another male will change into a female, and take the alpha female’s place.”

He knitted his eyebrows at that fact. That was . . . strange, especially considering the movie they watched a few weeks ago was about a male clownfish and his son. Maybe it was best not to think too hard about those things, because it was a cartoon after all.

“Listen to this,  Taff ,” Jane said. “’Clownfish are the only fish that aren’t hurt by sea anemones, which are poisonous to most other fish.’.”

Luckily Jane got a less creepy fact to tell Taffeta, because those  would be awkward questions for Tim and Jane to answer if she caught onto the movie that they had watched last week.

“Do you guys want to look at other  fish ? ” Tim asked.

“Yeah !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Look at those ones !!”

Tim pushed the wagon towards a tank full of fish that were called ‘Rainbowfish’, even though they consisted of only two colors, orange and blue. He looked at one of the  fact that was about at his chest level once again  ( that’s about as high as most of those things would go, because most of the population weren’t walking giants like he was ). 

“What’s your fact,  poppa ? ” Taffeta asked.

“’Rainbowfish are native to Australia, New Guinea, and Indonesia.’,” he answered. “What about yours, Taffeta ?”

“Uhm . . .” Taffeta started.

She squinted at the little plaque before she tugged on Jane’s shirt and pulled her momma down for Jane to read the plaque to her. She had Jane whisper it into her ear, so Taffeta could tell Tim what her plaque read.

“’Rainbowfish are freshwater fish, which means they’re found in swamps and lakes.’,” Taffeta answered. “Anya says that Connor has a bunch of freshwater fish in his room, but he never lets us go and see them, because he thinks we’ll put our fingers all over the glass.”

“What a jerk,” Jane laughed.

That was something only kids would worry about. The reason they didn’t have fish was because Mortimer, Smokey, Grandpa, and the kittens were curious, and they would easily be able to eat an entire fish tank full of fish together if nobody paid attention to them, and it wasn’t like Tim and Jane were home all day.

They looked around at all of the tanks in the first room, and read little fish facts to  eachother about the various fish around the first room of the aquarium, before they ventured to the next room of the aquarium. The entire room seemed to be just aquarium, and small schools of fish brushed by as well as giant manta rays, and even sharks.

“Poppa, look !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

She stood in the wagon and pointed to the huge blue and white spotted manta ray that swam overhead of them.

“It’s like a water butterfly !!” Taffeta giggled.

Tim chuckled softly at the idea of a manta ray being called a ‘water butterfly’. He had never heard anyone call it that, but to be fair, she had a point; it had wings and did look like it flew in the water.

“Son of a bitch,” Jane commented. “Would you look at that ?”

“Language,” both Tim and Taffeta chorused.

Jane clicked her tongue and shook her head as she motioned for Tim to push the wagon to what she was looking at in the tank. She pointed to a giant fish – it was tall, and looked like a sideways pancake with two big fins on the side. It moved slow, as if its entire life was a drag and it hated their own  existence .

Relatable in a sense.

“What’s that,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“That’s a Mola  Mola ,” Jane answered. “Or an Ocean Sunfish. It’s probably one of the most useless fish in the ocean. I had to do an entire slideshow on it in high school, because my science partner wanted to do a report on a cool sounding fish for our Zoology project.”

“What does it  do ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Absolutely nothing,” Jane answered.

“Well, it has to do something,” Tim insisted. “What would be the point of it if it didn’t do anything ?”

“That’s how I felt the entire time I researched the stupid thing,” Jane claimed. “It’s one of the ocean’s largest bony fish, because big fish are made out of cartilage.”

“Like  whales ? ” Taffeta asked.

Tim smiled at his daughter, because she still had so much to learn. He loved animals, and ever since he found his great – great aunt Heather’s journals on the animals she came across in her travels, discovered said love. He didn’t particularly hate any animals. He was indifferent towards cats ( with the exception of Smokey, Grandpa, and he started to warm up to Mortimer, and her kitten, Edith ), adored dogs ( and was sad that Queen took their Japanese Chin, Milady, in the divorce ), thought fish were amazing, and so on.

“No, lima bean,” Tim laughed. “Whales are mammals, like us. They breathe air.”

“Whales breathe  **_ air  _ ** ? ” Taffeta asked.

Jane adjusted her glasses and giggled as she looked to Tim.

“Do you think they produce milk too ?” she joked.

“Actually, they do,” Tim confirmed.

“Whales make  **_ milk  _ ** ?” Taffeta asked. “Where does whale milk  **_ come  _ ** from ? ”

“Same place cow milk comes from,” Tim explained.

“ **_ Whale  _ ** **_ udders _ ** ? ” Taffeta asked.

Jane shrugged and nodded before she looked to Tim. She wasn’t quite sure if Taffeta was old enough to know about where milk comes from, and that every mammal can make it. It wasn’t like making milk was horrendous – it was natural, but maybe it was just . . .  **_ inappropriate  _ ** for Taffeta to know quite yet.

“ **_ Suuure _ ** ,” Tim agreed. “Whale udders.”

“Let’s talk about the Sunfish, shall  we ? ” Jane redirected.

Thank the cosmos.

“Okay, momma,” Taffeta agreed.

“So, this fish doesn’t even have a swim bladder, like other fish, so it always has to keep swimming or else it will drown,” Jane continued.

“A swim  **_ bladder  _ ** ?” Taffeta asked. “So  fishies **_ pee  _ ** every time they  move ? ”

“That’s not what a swim bladder is,” Jane laughed. “It’s a sack inside of most fish that makes water go through their body, so most fish can float in one place. However, some fish don’t have them. Whales, dolphins, and  porpoises have lungs, both sharks and the Sunfish have to keep swimming, or else the water doesn’t go through their body, and they drown.”

“Well, how do they  sleep ? ” Taffeta asked. “They have to sleep, right ?”

Tim rose an eyebrow in inquiry. That was a good question. He didn’t quite know himself, and Jane really did spend weeks on this project that she so obviously hated, so maybe she might know. Her knowledge on this stuff, especially this weird looking fish, was far more than his.

“Well, yes, they sleep, but they only sleep with one side of their brain,” Jane explained. “One half of a living being’s brain controls the other half of the body, while the half of the brain that’s sleeping, sleeps.”

“That’s weird,” Tim claimed. “So, like, does it just swim on  its side ? ”

“I don’t know, but that would make a lot of sense,” Jane commented. “A Sunfish is easily pushed over by the currents and they just float until birds pick away at all of the bacteria and rot that got to them. The most dangerous part is how dumb the thing is.”

“Oh, come on, it has to at least be a danger to small fish,” Tim insisted. “It’s enormous !!”

“No, no, it’s teeth are fused together, so the only thing it can actually eat and not choke on is jellyfish,” Jane explained. “Other than that, it isn’t predatory. It’s only killed a person once, and that’s because it crashed onto a boat with a giant wave and the thing hit a person. I’m surprised the species as a whole has made it this long. It’s too dumb of a creature to live, if you ask me.”

“No wonder you were in such a bad mood when you did that science project !!” Tim laughed.

If he had to grate his eyes with all the useless  information she must’ve absorbed that week, he would’ve been in a pretty shitty mood too. He was actually doing a production of “The Tragedy of Macbeth” in his English class, so he was happy that week. The class had voted him in to play Macduff, so he had a little bit of the spotlight that week. If he were being honest though, he could’ve done fine with a smaller part  ( and Queen said that his Macduff wasn’t ‘threatening enough ’ ) . Theatre was much more A. and Jane’s thing, rather than his.

“Yes !!” Jane exclaimed. “I was already stressed out due to choir practice, cheer practice, and then I had to worry about that stupid project that my partner waited until last minute to do.”

“Who was your partner again ?” Tim asked.

“Your dumb little friend,” Jane reminded. “Daniel, or Dewey. I can’t remember which between those two. I didn’t like either of them.”

Tim bit his lips together and nodded. Ever since he and Queen divorced, he hadn’t heard from either of them, which figured in his opinion. The only thing that tied them all together was the Student Council, and Queen. Tim and those guys didn’t have a lot in common. Dewey was the class clown that always had something witty and sharp to say, while Daniel was a point guard for the basketball team.

“I’d hate to have a lazy science partner,” Taffeta commented. “I hope Phoebe and Anya are still my friends when we’re in high school, because I would want one of them to be my project partners.”

“I’m going to be honest, if I was partners with my friends, we didn’t get a lot done,” Jane sighed.

“Because you guys were always too busy looking at Pictogram and doing  eachother’s hair or makeup to focus on your project,” Tim reminded.

“I’m surprised you even paid attention to that,” Jane said. “I always thought you were too busy not getting your face sucked off by Queen.”

Tim rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Jane’s shoulder.

“Of course, I noticed those things,” he said. “And I was listening when Nanny and  Melanoff would scold you about your grades, and Mister Harrell would tell me about how ‘your sister is nothing like you’.”

“What a jerk,” Jane commented. “It wasn’t like my grades were any of your business. I’m glad that guy got fired.”

“I mean, if you show up to work drunk all the time, it’s bound to happen,” Tim said. “That’s why I always call out when I am.”

He tensed at the slip, because she still didn’t know about the time he went out with  A.. That would definitely be story, but not one Jane would be too happy to hear. She would be even more upset to know that the previous night wasn’t the first break in his sobriety streak, but he wanted it to be the last. He really did, and he was going to make sure that it was. He needed to be better.

They continued through the large tank and went into a chilly cold room, with what seemed to be a snow exhibit. There were pictures of different types of penguins on the wall and Taffeta jumped up in the wagon and giggled at the sight of a penguin with yellow crest feathers.

“Look momma !!” she giggled. “That penguin looks like he has a mohawk !!”

Jane laughed at the penguin as they dove into the water and swam away.

“It sure does have some funky hair,” Jane agreed. “I think that one’s called a Rockhopper penguin – at least, that’s what the pictures say.”

“Phoebe’s dad wants to get a mohawk,” Taffeta commented. “I can’t see him with one. It  think it would look weird on him.”

Tim and Jane looked at  eachother before they couldn’t contain their laughter anymore. Lars and Celeste were hip parents, there was no doubt about that. They always looked fashionable and kept up with the times, well, as up with the times as they could. Phoebe cringed when Celeste would call something ‘lit’ or say something like ‘ swaggy ’, but it was still more hip than some parents out there. It was simply strange to envision Lars with a creamy blonde mohawk in his late thirties.

“Well, that would be something,” Tim agreed. “Who  knows ? Maybe we should get a new haircut.”

“No, poppa !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “I don’t want you to change your hair !!”

“That makes two of us, lima bean,” Tim commented. “Your momma thinks my hair’s boring. She said that it was boring when you were in her tummy.”

“I remember that,” Taffeta insisted. “His hair is not boring, momma.”

Jane shook her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“That was five years ago, Tim,” Jane claimed. “I don’t care what you do with your hair now – as long as you don’t shave your head. Please, don’t shave your head.”

“I have to draw attention away from these satellite dishes somehow,” Tim teased.

He bent his ears with his hands to point out what he was talking about, before he rose an eyebrow.

Jane snorted at his own self – burn. She rarely ever made fun of herself, but it wasn’t like she didn’t acknowledge her flaws. Her ears were also big, as well as her nose. After she had Taffeta, her stomach never truly went back to normal, and she still had dark stretch marks on the small stomach pouch of extra skin she had. Occasionally she’d find a hair that was lighter than all the others, but . . . she was getting older, regardless of how often Tim told her how young she looked. It took her a long time to be okay with who she was, and she wasn’t going to turn back to  self loathing . What kind of example would that be for  Taffeta ? Especially once Taffeta grew a great Willoughby mustache !!

“Look at that penguin !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “She’s little, like me !!”

Upon closer inspection, Tim noticed that one of the small penguin’s flippers weren’t like the other flippers, before he realized that the little penguin had a prosthetic flipper.

“Look, lima bean,” Tim pointed out. “She has a fake flipper. It's like a penguin crutch.”

“She has crutches too !!” Taffeta laughed. “ Look !! There’s a picture of her !!”

Tim pushed the wagon to the picture on the wall and read over the picture and information written on the wall. He rose both his eyebrows as he read the story about the little penguin in the tank.

“She’s actually called a ‘Little Penguin’,” he said.

“Creative,” Jane shaded.

“What groundbreaking news from the scientists,” Tim agreed. “The one with the fake flipper was rescued after a killer whale attack, and she had to go through a lot of therapy to get used to her new leg. Her name’s Dottie.”

“Hi Dottie !!” Taffeta greeted.

She waved to the little penguin in the tank and gasped when Dottie rose a flipper and waved back before she jumped into the water and swam to another part of the tank. 

“ Momma !! Poppa !!” Taffeta squealed. “She waved at me !!”

Jane and Tim both chuckled at their daughter’s excitement of a penguin waving at her. It was like she had met a celebrity or the president, or like she had just watched Super Pony Princess walk into the room and look at her for a solid second.

They walked around the penguin tank and Tim read the information on the walls to his family so they could learn about the different types of penguins in the tank, and they let Taffeta say goodbye one last time to Dottie the penguin, before they went into a place where everyone could actually touch some of the sea creatures in little pools.

“Do you want to get out and touch some of the animals,  Taff ?” Jane asked.

Taffeta nodded in excitement before Jane helped her out of the wagon, and Tim pulled the wagon behind himself as he followed Jane and Taffeta to the little pools that were filled with different sea creatures. The first tank had different starfish on different rocks and Jane reached her hand into the tank, before she touched a starfish that looked like they were full of little bumps and spikes that looked like volcanoes.

Tim shivered at the sight of Jane, as she touched one of the starfish. He couldn’t imagine how gross and wet they’d feel, and to be honest, he didn’t want to. He loved animals, but some animals were meant to be admired from afar. Sea creatures weren’t meant to be pet. Would you want to pet a fish ?

“How does it feel, momma ?” Taffeta asked.

“Bumpy,” Jane confirmed.

Taffeta reached her hand into the tank, before she caught sight of a square, orange disc that crawled along the floor of the tank. She moved her hand towards it, with her eyebrows knitted in curiousity.

“What is that ?” she asked.

Taffeta’s voice was almost at a whisper as she touched the top of it and felt it glide under her fingers.

“A starfish, I’d assume,” Tim answered.

Jane looked at a little sign above the tank, before she read that the name of the starfish was a “Square Biscuit Starfish”, and that it didn’t have arms like a starfish because this starfish once underwent a population where a birth defect went nuts, and they evolved to be square, rather than star shaped.

“Well, it looks like he’s a Square Biscuit Starfish, and this guy’s name is Earl Grey,” Jane confirmed.

Tim looked at another sign about another starfish called a “Vermilion Biscuit Sea Star”, and read that the name of the one in the tank was ‘Oolong’. He laughed quietly at the tea themed names for the starfish.

“And he has a friend named Oolong,” Tim added.

Jane looked at another starfish sign before she noticed all ten of the starfish in the little tank were named after teas – Mate, Green, Chamomile, Black, and so on.

“Someone in the aquarium must like teas,” Jane said. “The starfish keeper named them all after a type of tea; well, chamomile isn’t a true tea, but whatever.”

They moved to the next tank, where there were small sharks they could touch, before Tim felt a buzz in his pocket. It had to have been his phone, so he pulled it from his front pocket, before he saw it was a group chat between himself, the twins, Jane, Ruth, Patience Nanny, and Melanoff. He unlocked his phone to read the message, and he saw that it was from B..

“Dinner next Wednesday at Tasty  Tortellini’s ? Six  thirty ? ” the message read.

“We’ll be there !!” Patience was quick to text back.

So was Nanny.

“That sounds  delicious !! We’ll see you there. Xoxo, love, mom.”

“Sounds good to me.” Tim messaged back.

He smiled to himself before he read Ruth’s message.

“Do I have to  go ? Indigo and I wanted to go to the mall that day. It’s one of the only days that week that Indigo doesn’t have band practice or dance practice.”

Then Melanoff.

“We’ll talk about this later, Ruthie, love pop.”

Tim wanted to laugh about how Nanny and  Melanoff always signed off  ther text messages, but he couldn’t laugh at them without laughing at the fact he used to format all of his texts like letters, until Jane broke him from the habit. He still didn’t quite get the use of emojis either – smiley face, sad face, mad face, crying smiley face, coffee and frog emojis, peaches, eggplants – it was all so confusing, especially when Jane told him to never send the eggplant emoji after he told her they were having eggplant parmesan that night for dinner. He decided he wasn’t cool enough to use them, much less understand what they all meant.

He put his phone back in his pocket and rejoined his family at the little shark tank, before they looked to him and motioned for him to follow them to the manta ray tank.

Taffeta squealed and looked over the glass wall to see that small manta rays swam by and their fins majestically flapped like they did in the giant tank room.

“We can touch the water butterflies ?” Taffeta asked.

“Reach in and see if you can touch one,” Jane instructed.

“Poppa, you should touch one too !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Momma touched the starfish with me, you should touch the water butterflies !!”

Tim looked to Jane, who simply shrugged back at him.

“Fair’s fair,” Jane said. “Now go touch the water butterflies, poppa.”

Tim gagged quietly to himself as he followed Taffeta to the manta ray tank and she reached her hand in, before she ran her hand along one of the manta ray’s back. She stomped in place and giggled at the feeling as she went and reached in again.

“Look poppa . . .” she whispered. “Wait, what’s that ?”

Taffeta watched in awe as she saw tiny manta ray come from under the  one she just  pet . . . and then another . . . and  another . . . and another.

“ Look !! There’s little ones !!” Taffeta squealed. “He was hiding them !!”

Tim thought for a moment, before he connected the dots in his mind and realized that they had just watched one of the manta rays give birth in the touch tank. He shivered at the thought that his daughter touched a manta ray, while she was in labor, and god knows what got on her hands afterwards.

“Okay Taffeta, why don’t we go and wash our  hands ? ” Tim suggested.

“But you didn’t even touch one !!” Taffeta pointed out. “Come on,  poppa !! You said you’d touch one !!”

Tim sighed to himself before he dunked his hand in the water and reached for the first manta ray that swam by so he could simply get the whole ‘touching manta rays in manta ray birth water’ thing over with. He was okay with people births – to this day he still deeply regretted that he wasn’t there for the birth of his only daughter, and if he could take back that day, he would in a heartbeat, but it wasn’t like he would’ve had to put his hand inside the amniotic sac or anything with a human birth.

He felt the slimy skin of the manta ray along his hand before he shuttered at the sensation. It brought back rather unpleasant memories, such as when he went to Grand Canyon with Queen on their third anniversary. They fought about the heat for hours, before the air conditioner in their rented motorhome broke down, then they both started to sweat  ( Tim even more so, due to the fact that he snorted a line in the bathroom before he started his turn to drive . ) . When they finally reached the Grand Canyon, he put his hand on her shoulder and felt her . . . squishy, wet, and they both reeked. It wasn’t the most pleasant trip, or at least, the parts he remembered weren’t.

“Isn’t it cool,  poppa ? ” Taffeta asked.

Tim forced a smile to his daughter as he quickly retracted his hand from the touch pool, and shook it off.

“Very cool, lima bean,” he lied. “Now, let’s go wash our hands, before we go and see some of the other animals.”

“Okay, poppa !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

He followed Taffeta back to the wagon, where they met back up with Jane.

“So, how were the manta  rays ? ” Jane asked.

“They were so cool !!” Taffeta squeaked. “There was this really big one in there, and he was hiding a bunch of little ones under him !!”

“Yes, they were . . .  **_ cool _ ** ,” Tim lied again. “They didn’t feel the greatest, but hey, what can you  do ? I think we should take a bathroom break before we see the next exhibit; what is next, anyway ?”

“If I remember correctly, I think it’s the dolphins and whales,” Jane claimed. “I think the jellyfish are last.”

“ So they saved the best for last ?” Taffeta asked.

“Seems so,  Taff ,” Jane confirmed. “But, poppa’s right, we really should take a bathroom break, so we don’t have to go in the jellyfish exhibit.”

They went to the bathrooms that were located at the end of the touch pool tanks where Tim waited outside with the wagon, while Jane took Taffeta into the bathroom. He took his phone out of his pocket  ( with the hand that didn’t touch the manta rays, of  course ) and browsed through Pictogram. He finally came across a picture from Queen and his eyebrows rose in suspicion.

The picture was of her daughter, Whitney, as Whitney was getting fitted with a frilly, puffy red dress and dainty, white gloves.

“I’m proud to say that I’m a pageant mom now. My little Whitney is going to be competing in the ‘Little Miss Yuletide’ pageant this winter, and we know she’s going to take home the Grand Supreme  crown !! She is the perfect candidate for such an honor !!”

It made him think for a moment, as he remembered that Lars and Celeste had entered Phoebe in a pageant right around Christmas time – was this the same  pageant ? If it was . . . he kind of wanted to go and watch, simply to see Queen’s daughter watch the girl she bullied take home the biggest crown they had. Was he getting into child beauty  pageants ? Okay, he still wouldn’t attend them regularly, or put Taffeta in any, but the stakes were just too good on this one. He had to know the outcome.

He heard Jane and Taffeta return from the bathroom, before he pulled Jane in close to show her the picture he had found.

“Jane, look at this,” he whispered.

“Is that Queen’s  kid ? ” Jane asked. “I’m not surprised that she put her kid in beauty pageants.”

“No, it’s a Christmas pageant,” Tim explained. “Do you think that Queen’s kid and Phoebe are in the same  pageant ? I mean, what if they are ?”

“What are you trying to get  at ? ” Jane asked.

“What if Phoebe wins that pageant ?” Tim asked. “Wouldn’t you want to see that  happen ? Phoebe, the kid Queen’s kid was picking on, actually doing better than her at something.”

“You’re twisted,” Jane whispered. “But . . . I’m kind of down to see what happens.”


	13. The Family Sequoia

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟 :

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪 𝕊𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕠𝕚𝕒

◟ ◞

Jane adjusted the bust of her dress in the mirror. Today was the day that B. had invited them all out for dinner, Tim had been doing better than he had been on the trip and he seemed to get back into the swing of life more easily than Jane thought he would. She clipped her choker onto her neck before she watched Tim adjust the cuffs of his shirt in the reflection of the mirror.

“Ready  yet ? ” he asked.

“Almost,” she answered. “Does  Taff have her shoes on ?”

“Let me go check,” he answered.

He buttoned the cuff of his shirt before he left the room and rounded the corner to help Taffeta get dressed to go out to eat.

It wasn’t like Tasty Tortellini’s was the fanciest  restaraunt in town, but that never stopped the Willoughby –  Melanoff family from getting dressed up and going. It was something nice that they always did as a family. Jane remembered it all so fondly from when they were all kids. She remembered Nanny, as she helped her curl her hair and allowed her to put on mascara and a little bit of  lipgloss , and how she would pick the nicest outfit in her closet. She remembered the first time Tim felt comfortable in pants, as  Melanoff convinced him to wear slacks for the first time and Nanny cooed over what a handsome young man he was. She remembered the  Barnabys in suit jackets that were complimentary to the other. She remembered that Ruth would immediately get messy, even though she looked nice too.

It was something to make them all feel a little special and fancy, and the family had only grown. The restaurant held many memories. Good ones, like celebrating Tim’s high school graduation; where they had a carrot cake and cream cheese frosting  ( Tim’s favorite cake at the  time ) . Bad ones, such as when A. and Fannie Martinelli broke up, and they had to practically drag A. out of bed to go. Good ones, such as when Patience and A. announced that they were expecting. Bad ones,  such as the first dinner without Jane.

Hopefully, this was a good dinner, and not a bad one.

Soon, Jane looked behind herself to see that Taffeta had come back into the room, in one of her dresses and her newest pair of dress shoes. Taffeta joined her at the vanity, before she stepped onto one of the stools to see into the mirror. She reached into Jane’s makeup bag and pulled out a tube of mint – chocolate chapstick that she applied to her lips.

Jane let wear Taffeta wear  chapstick , because unlike  lipgloss or makeup,  chapstick was beneficial, and didn’t show up as much as everything else would. Taffeta was five years old, she didn’t need to wear makeup, and Jane had the basic rule in her head that she would let Taffeta wear only a little bit of makeup when she was thirteen. Even then, it was only going to be mascara and  lipgloss , nothing too big. Maybe it was a little mean, because Jane was allowed to wear makeup at thirteen, and she definitely did  ( even though she wasn’t quite good at it until she was about  fifteen ) , but she didn’t want Taffeta to feel pressured by society to look a certain way. She wanted her daughter to be comfortable with the body she had, which was something it took Jane a very long time to do herself.

She wasn’t always as confident as she looked.

“I’m ready, momma,” Taffeta announced.

“How about you and poppa get into the car, I’ll be down in a minute,” Jane suggested.

“I’ll go get my jacket on,” Taffeta said.

Jane started to put on some red lipstick that she had in her back before she heard  Tim shiver before he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck.

“Hey, babe, can you drive us  there ? ” he asked.

Jane laughed before she scratched his jaw and grabbed it.

“What did you just call  me ? ” she laughed.

He groaned quietly before he shook his head. His face blushed in  embarrassment , once he realized what he had said to her, before he laughed it off himself.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “My head’s scrambled.  **_ Jane _ ** , can you drive us  there ? I don’t . . .  **_ feel  _ ** **_ good _ ** .”

“Are you  sick ? ” she asked.

She turned and placed the back of her hand against his forehead.

“No,” he answered. “I’m just not feeling very good.”

She then understood what he had meant, before she nodded and put her hand on his cheek.

“You got it,  **_ babe _ ** ,” she teased. “Go help  Taff get into the car, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “And please don’t take forever. You already look beautiful.”

“Shut up,” she laughed.

He went to Taffeta’s bedroom, before he led her downstairs, where he took his own coat from their coat hanger and put it on. 

“Let’s go and warm the car up for momma, okay, lima  bean ? ” Tim asked.

“Okay, poppa,” she agreed. 

They walked to their driveway, before Taffeta cupped her hands on the hood of the car and took long, hot breaths onto the car. Tim rose an eyebrow at her before he unlocked the car doors and opened the back door for Taffeta.

“What are you  doing ? ” he asked.

“Making the car warm,” she answered. “My breath is hot, so if I blow on the car enough, then it will be warm.”

He smiled to himself at her innocent logic. He’d never experienced it, but to be fair, he had been taking care of Jane since he was two, and the  Barnabys came when he was four, so for the most part, he didn’t have a chance to play and make – believe, because he was more concerned with making sure that Jane and the twins could have that without getting in trouble by their parents. 

“Well, I’m sure if we had the time, you’d be able to do it, but everyone’s waiting for us at Tasty Tortellini’s,” Tim explained. “So, just so we don’t keep everyone waiting, let’s just turn the car on and let it warm up itself.”

Taffeta sighed before she walked to the door and Tim helped her into the car seat, before he buckled her in and got into the passenger side.

Tim put the key into the ignition before the car let off a silky rumble, unlike the clunky ‘broom - broom – broom’ of his station wagon. He turned the heaters on and clicked the button to turn the seat warmers on. He let off a pleased sigh as the leather of his seat began to warm.

“What does that button do ?” Taffeta asked.

“We have butt warmers up front,” Tim bragged.

“Why don’t I ever get to sit up front ?” Taffeta asked. “I like butt warmers  too !! My butt’s cold !!”

“Well, maybe when you’re older, you can sit up front and use the butt warmers,” Tim claimed. “But for now, you have to warm your own butt.”

“No fair !!” Taffeta squealed.

The driver’s side door opened and Jane got into the driver’s seat, as she plopped her purse down at the side of Tim’s feet. She squeezed his shoulder and gave him a smile.

“Thanks for warming up the car,  **_ babe _ ** ,” she teased again.

“Stop it,” he laughed.

Tim pushed her shoulder and rolled his eyes before he turned the radio on.

“Miss Bea and Mister Randy call  eachother ‘babe’ all the time,” Taffeta commented. “But they also kiss too, it’s really gross.”

“What, like this ?” Tim asked.

He leaned towards Jane, in an attempt to plant a giant kiss on her cheek, but he was instantly rejected by her, as she poked his nose and gently pushed him back into his chair, all while laughing.

“Timothy Anthony Malachy Willoughby, cut it out,” she giggled.

Taffeta giggled and squealed at the gesture. It wasn’t often that she saw what many nuclear families, like the Watson – Lee family, would consider the norm. She saw Jane and Tim hug, of course, but she wasn’t used to them kissing, for obvious reasons, so the notion was absurd to her. 

Jane then turned up the radio once she heard the all too familiar soft country guitar play and she hummed to the song as she pulled out of the driveway. She tapped her fingers on the leather –  ey texture of the steering wheel as she drove.

“Why do you always hum to this song,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

Jane quirked an eyebrow at the question before she smiled to herself.

“It’s a very special song to me,” she answered. “Well, the moment it played wasn’t very special, and honestly, I’d rather forget it, but still, the song is a special song to me.”

“What’s special about it ?” Taffeta asked.

“It was the song that played during my first kiss,” she explained. “I mean, it wasn’t a good kiss. It was gross, but the song was the nicest thing in the room, and ever since, I’ve always liked the song.”

“Was your first kiss with  poppa ? ” Taffeta asked.

Jane glanced at Tim, and bit the inside of her cheek at the question.

“ **_ No _ ** ,” Jane answered. “It was with the quarterback of the football team when I was in high school. He wasn’t very cute, or nice, or good at much.”

“Then, why’d you kiss  him ? ” her daughter asked.

“Sometimes people make really dumb mistakes sometimes,” Jane sighed. “Even we do, sometimes. The thing about mistakes, though, is that you learn from them, and I definitely have.”

She reached over and held Tim’s hand, before she smiled at him. Out of the shitshow that happened five years ago, and maybe even long before that, her little family was the best thing to come out of it all. She had her brother back in her life, and he had been so incredibly loving, warm, and supportive  ( with some obvious exceptions, but as she said, even they made mistakes sometimes . ) ever since they had moved in together. Taffeta was the icing on the Willoughby family cake. She was a curious, adventurous, kind – hearted kid, which was something both Tim and Jane needed in their lives. 

He lightly squeezed their hand as they pulled into the parking lot outside the quaint Italian restaurant.

Taffeta unbuckled her seatbelt before she looked out the back window of the car, before she saw Nanny,  Melanoff , Ruth, and presumably her friend that she was talking about in the group text, Indigo.

“ Momma !! Granny, Grandpop, and Aunt Ruth are here, can I talk to them,  please ? ” Taffeta begged.

“Wait until we get out,  Taff -” Jane started.

Then she shrieked at the feeling of someone shoving the side of the car, before she looked out the window to see A., with his gloved hands against the  window

“Boo,” he greeted.

She rolled down the window and scrunched her eyebrows at him, before she pouted her lip.

“Jerk,” she said.

“Hey A., can you take Taffeta inside ?” Tim asked. “We’ll . . . We’ll be inside in a minute.”

Taffeta opened her door before A. picked her up and twirled her in his arms, before Shane ran over to A. and rose his arms.

“Okay, okay,” A. said.

He put Taffeta on one arm, and lifted Shane onto the other.

“Handlebars !!”

He took Shane and Taffeta up to the sidewalk, where the two kids could greet their set of grandparents and pass around the hugs, before they all went inside to eat.

Jane rolled up her window as she turned to Tim and took the key out of the ignition.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” he repeated.

“Are you . . .  okay ? ” she asked. “Do you want me to take you back  home ? If you’re really feeling that bad, I’m sure they won’t mind -”

“No, I’m fine,” he reassured. “We got ready for tonight, and I’m sure that it’s important. I just need a minute to prepare myself . . . you wouldn’t get it.”

“I’ll stay with you,” she soothed.

“Good,” he sighed.

Tim leaned against her and rested her head against her chest, and sighed at the feeling of her fingers in his hair. It was blissful ambience, as the car radio played a softer rock song ( well, more of a ballad ), as he took a minute to relax and ready himself for the dinner.

They both leaned their chairs back and looked up at the roof of the car.

“Do you need any pain  reliever ? ” she asked.

“I’ll be okay,” he claimed. “But, can you put some in your purse, just in case I need  some ? ”

“Yeah, they’re in the glove box,” she said.

He sat up, enough to see the glove box, before he opened the little drawer and grabbed the bottle of pain relievers that he shook to check and see if there was still enough left. There was, thankfully. He put the bottle into her purse, so she’d have it on her.

“Ready to go  in ? ” he asked.

“If you are,” she answered.

He nodded, before he opened the door, and the car turned off as Jane took the key from the ignition. She took her purse and joined him to go inside. They walked to one of the private rooms, the room they had always rented when they ate there, together, as a family. They looked through the windows of the French doors to see Taffeta, Shane, and a young boy with orange hair, all at the end of the table, with  Melanoff and Nanny both watching the kids as they played the games on the kids' menu. Ruth and her little friend were both on their phones, as they played that one game about pirates on a ship, and one of the players is supposedly a murderer. At the other end was A. and Patience, right next to eachother, and they were talking to both B., and shockingly, Sabrina. 

“I wonder what she’s doing here,” Tim whispered.

“And without that brick shithouse she calls a boyfriend,” Jane added.

“Glad you said that out here,” Tim commented.

“Because I was totally going to say that in front of her,” Jane shaded.

They opened the doors and shut the doors behind them, as they waved, went around the table, and greeted everyone with hugs before they settled into their own seat.

“You guys remember Indigo,  right ? ” Ruth asked.

To be honest, it was hard for Jane and Tim to keep up on Ruth’s friends. She had so many and they all had some sort of nickname. Indigo, Rock, Foxtrot, Reggie, and so on. For the sake of agreeing, Tim and Jane nodded and acted like they knew exactly who they were.

“The drinks should be on their way,” B. commented. “I ordered pitchers of sweet tea for the table.”

“The only good kind of tea is sweet tea,” Patience claimed. “Have y’all ever had unsweet  tea ? Tastes like someone poured it from a pair of old galoshes.”

“So, I have an announcement,” A. said. “I would like to introduce my son, Shane Samuel Elliot Willoughby.”

He motioned down to the table, where Shane waved to his family, as he truly was within the moment for the very first time. 

His twin smiled and held his hand out to the small orange haired kid.

“And that’s my son, William Archer Calvin Willoughby.”

Billie lifted his head and gave a cheesy smile.

“But I like Billie better.”

Tim quirked an eyebrow at A., as a reminder of the discussion they had about a month ago. He was proud his brother figured it out in a sense, but he really, really wanted to say the snide, pompous phrase of “I told you so.”. Hopefully the look said everything he wanted.

The twin scrunched his eyebrows and shook his head.

He got the message.

“Who trusted you with a  kid ? ” Jane asked. “Or, if applicable, who found you attractive enough five –  ish years ago to sleep with you ?”

“Oh, shh,” B. said. “Orphan Services did. Well, we’re still going through some paperwork to make it official, but if everything goes smoothly, I’ll have a son by next month.”

“It’s nice to see that you’re adopting, B.,” Nanny commented. “There’s so many kids out there that live with bad circumstances. You kids would know that better than anyone.”

“That’s why I’m adopting Billie,” B. reminded.

“It really takes a special person to accept more family members into your house,”  Melanoff claimed. “ But, kids are some of the most wonderful things you can accept into your life. They really brighten up the place.”

“I never thought I’d be buying little shoes ever in my life,” B. laughed. “God, the kid’s feet are tiny.”

“Don’t get too excited, he’s going to be up a shoe size in about three months,” Nanny teased. “You kids went through pairs and pairs of shoes. I’m just glad Tim decided to jump from a size nine to a size thirteen when he was out of the house.”

“I’m not,” Tim claimed. “I didn’t know clothes and shoes were that expensive until I grew.”

“You think men’s shoes and clothes are  expensive ? ” Patience asked. “We had to pay an arm and a leg for my wedding dress.  Speakin ’ of wedding dress, when are we  goin ’  shoppin ’ for your dress, Sabrina ?”

“I’d love to have you in the shop,” Jane claimed. “I think I have the perfect dress to compliment both your aesthetic and body type.”

Then Sabrina started to bawl at the conversation before she hid her face in her hands, and everyone jumped and stared at the normally stoic goth girl that was now a sobbing mess in front of them.

“Whoa, what happened ?” A. asked. “What did we do ?”

His twin reached to the side and put a comforting hand on her back, before her gave an apologetic frown.

“Her and John broke up,” B. whispered.

“He’s such a cheating, lying, conniving bastard !!” Sabrina wailed.

“ Oh my goodness, darlin’ !!” Patience exclaimed.

She reached over and pulled her friend into a hug, before she pulled a handkerchief from her purse and allowed for Sabrina to use it on her face, and even blow her nose in it.

Tim and Jane exchanged a quick look to  eachother . One that said ‘You saw this coming too,  right ? ’, before they nodded at  eachother and had to falsify their sympathies.

“It’s really hard to break up with someone you love,” Tim soothed. “I know, I’ve been there, done that.”

“Yeah, but hey, maybe it’s all for the better,” Jane encouraged. “If he’s a cheating bastard, who  knows what’s coming to him. Normally people like that meet their maker in the long run.”

That wasn’t completely true. From what Jane saw on Pictogram, Troy was living his best life, and he had a new little girlfriend  ( who looked like a college  kid ) , and he helped manage his family’s pizzeria. She wondered to this day why he didn’t do that when they were together, but she was glad she left him. She wouldn’t have the relatively great life she did if he were still a part of the picture. Hell, she couldn’t imagine him being a good dad to Taffeta. He probably only wanted to get Jane pregnant so he didn’t have to use a –  nevermind , off topic. 

“I promised her that we’d all get dessert tonight,” B. said. “But feel free to save room for dessert. I’m buying.”

“For once,” A. teased.

“I’m buying for everyone except A.,” B. announced.

“That’s not fair !!” A. exclaimed.

“Knock it off, you two,” Nanny scolded.

Tim and Jane both shared a chuckle at Nanny scolding the two grown men at the table. It was like thing changed so much, but some things would always stay the same. It seemed like Nanny would always scold the twins when they’d get too rowdy, that they’d always have family dinners at Tasty Tortellini’s.

Their waiter came back with the drinks, and took everyone’s food orders, before they left again to put the orders in. 

“So, what kind of dessert is everyone thinking  about ? ” B. asked.

“Why don’t we get those  cannolis ?” A. asked. “Or gelato !!”

Melanoff cleared his throat in discomfort at the sound of the word, but nobody really seemed to notice except Taffeta.

“Why’d you scoff at gelato, Grandpop ?” she asked.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, my Boston Baked Bean,” he reassured. “I’ve always been more of an ice cream man, myself.”

“Yeah, gelato sounds like a stinky grown – up dessert,” Taffeta agreed. “Like mouse or cordial cherries.”

“Agreed,”  Melanoff confirmed.

“Gelato’s okay,” A. claimed. “It’s just thick and goopy, but that’s nothing compared to Turkish ice cream. That tastes like ice cream flavored gum.”

“They do use a lot of xanthan gum in it to make it stretchy,” Nanny explained. “I saw something about that on T.V.”

“Why would they want to give your jaw a workout while you’re eating ice cream ?” Patience inquired. “Ice cream is supposed to be a smooth and delicious treat, not a stress ball for your mouth.”

“Amen, mommy,” Shane agreed.

“And hallelujah,” A. finished.

Tim looked over Ruth’s shoulder to pay attention to the game she was playing on her phone, and watched her type into a little  chatbox \- “Eyepatch sus”.

“What’s that mean ?” he asked.

“What’s what  mean ? ” she asked back.

“ Sus ? ” Tim asked.

“Suspicious,” Ruth commented. “Like, someone’s acting suspicious, then  you say they’re sus.”

“ Oh ? ” Tim asked.

“Ruthie, why are you playing and texting on your phone when your friend’s right across from you?”  Melanoff asked.

“Indigo’s playing too, dad,” Ruth explained.

“Why don’t you girls -” Nanny started.

“Indigo’s genderfluid, mom,” Ruth corrected. “They use ‘they’ and ‘them’, remember ?”

“I’m sorry,” Nanny apologized. “Why don’t you and your friend put your phones down and talk to  eachother , like people normally do ?”

Ruth sighed before she turned her phone off and both her and Indigo started talking about something that no adult at the table was hip enough to understand.

Everyone carried on their own conversations amongst  eachother before the food came and they started to eat. The conversation never died down as they all talked about things such as parenting, life, and how fast the Willoughby family was ever growing.

Once dinner was over, everyone said their goodbyes and hugged  eachother , before they all went their separate ways for the night. Tim watched B. lead Billie and Sabrina back to his car, with an arm around her waist, before he quirked an eyebrow and grabbed onto Jane’s arm and motioned for her to look at him with his eyes.

“Does he have his hand on her  waist ? ” she whispered.

“It’s kind of sus, isn’t  it ? ” he asked.

“ What ? ” Jane asked.

“Sus,” Tim said. “It’s like suspicious.”

“Did you learn that from  Ruth ? ” Jane laughed.

“Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || Happy early Thanksgiving, my U.S readers ( And I hope all my fellow readers from other places are having a wonderful day as well ) !! I really wanted to put the ' Giving ' part in the name so I whipped up this chapter for you guys !! I hope it's up to standard, and please, enjoy this time that you have with your family !! Have an amazing day, all of you awesome people !!


	14. Tranquility / Fear

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟 :

𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 / 𝔽𝕖𝕒𝕣

◟ ◞

Tim cooked their dinner for that night in the kitchen. It had been about two weeks, and his withdrawals had gotten easier and easier to cope with. He didn’t feel as tired as he had for the past two weeks, which was a good thing, because he knew he had to be there for Jane that night. She had an evaluation at work that day from a few designers, who looked for a place to have their dresses on display at. He packed her a lunch and even left her an encouraging sticky note. He heard a knock at the door and assumed it was Taffeta, coming home to get one of her toys to bring to the Vinderstromm – McMilks for her, Anya, and Phoebe to play with.

Tim put the stir – fried rice on low heat before he covered the lid for the rice to steam. He walked to the door and wiped his hands on the cheesy apron he had gotten for Father’s Day from Jane and Taffeta  ( it had a little cartoon cheese and the phrase ‘It’s not easy being cheesy’ plastered across the  chest ) . He opened the door to be greeted by B..

“ Hey ? ” he answered.

“C - Can I come  in ? ” B. asked.

“Where’s  Billie ? ” Tim questioned.

It was unusual for B.to not have Billie attached at his hip, because ever since the kid was introduced to the family, it seemed like he and B. were  inseparable . Maybe something happened with the adoption papers, and B. needed some advice, and that’s why Billie wasn’t there with him.

“He’s uhm . . . he’s with Sabrina,” B. answered. “Speaking of Sabrina, I need to talk to you about something.”

“What is  it ? ” Tim asked. 

He allowed his brother to come inside and hang his coat on the coat hanger, before he walked with him to the dining room table.

“Can I get you something ?” Tim asked. “Juice box, soda, water ?”

He felt a little sheepish at the fact that’s all he really had to offer his adult brother, but he and Jane didn’t keep alcohol in the house and never allowed it inside, so Tim could maintain his sobriety. It was better safe than sorry, he was just starting to get back on track with his sobriety again, and if he were to lose it again, he didn’t know how long it would take to get back. He needed to be present, and in the  moment,, without the fog of drugs and alcohol that clouded his mind. 

“Water’s fine,” B. said.

Tim went to the cup cabinet and opened the cabinet to get a cup that he could fill with water from the refrigerator. He looked to see B. play with Gus under the table.

“That’s Gus, or as Taffeta calls him ‘Gus - Gus’,” Tim introduced. “Say, are you looking to have  anymore animals ? Taffeta’s cat had kittens, and I already told Taffeta we’re not keeping all of them.”

The twin didn’t respond, he had a thousand – yard stare upon his face. Something really must’ve been bothering him . . . or that’s just his face. Him and A. still tended to get the absent stare when their faces were at rest. 

“ B. ? ” Tim asked.

“ What ? ” the twin exclaimed.

“I said, do you want to take the cat with  you ? ” Tim repeated.

“Oh, uh, are you sure ?” B. asked. “Would Jane or Taffeta get upset ?”

“No, they both know that I’m putting my foot down,” Tim claimed. “Three cats  is enough.”

“I . . . I think Billie and Sabrina would like to have another cat in the house,” B. sighed. “ Shit . . .”

“What’s wrong ?” Tim asked.

He brought the cup of water to his brother, before he went back to cooking their fried rice.

“Don’t get mad,” B. said.

“Why would I get  mad ? ” Tim asked. “What did you do ?”

“So, uh . . . the night we all went to Tortellini’s, Sabrina and I, we kind of . . . hooked up,” B. said.

Tim looked at his brother and tilted his head to the side.

“Like you guys made out or you guys . . .” He paused to think of a gentle way to say the next part of the sentence. “Or you guys, like . . . you batter – dipped the corn –  dog ? ”

“First of all,  ew . Don’t say it like that,” B. said. “And second . . . yeah, the second one.”

“Oh my god, she’s pregnant, isn’t  she ? ” Tim asked.

“It could be mine or John’s !!” B. exclaimed. “I mean, according to her, they last time they did the damn thing wasn’t that long ago from when we also did the damn thing.”

“Well, what’s the plan if they’re his ?” Tim asked.

“She’s having twins, Tim,” B. said. “And twins don’t run in his family.”

“I think that might mean that her  eggo’s preggo , daddy penguin,” Tim claimed. “So, what’s the plan ?”

“I don’t know,” B. said. “I’m at a loss here, it’s like I’m drawing straws. She’s really early on in the pregnancy, about three weeks. Is it wrong that I kind of hope that she . . .”

He made a splashing motion at his groin before he pouted at Tim.

Tim scrunched his eyebrows at his brother for insinuating such a thing.

“ **_ Yes _ ** ,  **_ B _ ** .,” he stated. “That’s messed up.”

“Tim, I’m not ready to take on babies !!” B. exclaimed. “Look, I already think that having to raise Billie is hard, but now we’re bringing two more mouths to feed, butts to wipe, and bodies to clothe. It’s not like I’m a millionaire, and I don’t want to beg mom and dad for money. It shouldn’t be their job to raise Sabrina’s kids.”

“You’re right,” Tim agreed. “It’s yours.”

“ Mine ? ” B. asked.

“You put the babies there, you better step up and take care of them,” Tim said. “It’s shitty when people leave their partners due to an unexpected pregnancy. Look, I’d kill to accidentally get Jane pregnant !!”

The twin snorted at the comment, before Tim sighed.

“That didn’t come out the way I wanted it to,” Tim huffed. “My point is, you did something amazing and you’re going to bring two new people into this world that you have to teach and care for, but I’m not saying it’s easy. Hell, being a dad is ruthless at times. It’s cold and unforgiving, which is why many people shy away from it, and why it makes people so nervous, but don’t be a  **_ dick _ ** .”

The twin grumbled to himself, before he leaned his elbows onto the table and rubbed circles into his temples. He looked at Tim once again, before he shook his head.

“What am I going to do ?” he asked aloud.

“Well, first of all, have you and Sabrina established whether or not you guys want the relationship to progress past this ?” Tim asked. “Like, are you guys ready to be in a relationship, or is it going to be strictly platonic from here on out.”

“That’s part of the problem !!” B. exclaimed. “Her signals are always so mixed. It’s rare to get a clear answer, and every time I’ve brought up a relationship she always says ‘Let’s take it at our own pace’, or something that basically puts me back in the friendzone. Then she goes and cries on me, and a few weeks ago, it all led up to that. I don’t know what to listen to anymore, her actions or her mouth.”

“Her mouth,” Tim said. “Look, she may do things she regrets, but it’s our job as men to make sure we’re not the cause of something a woman regrets. You know, we’re more likely to get in trouble if we make a woman uncomfortable.”

“It feels like I’m getting my feelings messed with,” B. sighed. “I feel like she only sees me as someone who needs to be there when she needs me, but it’s rare for her to be there when I need her.”

“That’s the thing, you’re looking at it through the ‘nice guy’ goggles again,” Tim pointed out. “She doesn’t owe anything to you, but you need to realize that you don’t owe her anything either. The reason you’re trying to make this parenting thing work is for those babies, because those babies never did anything to you. You’re their dad, and the least you can do is be just as good of a dad to them as you are to Billie.”

The twin sighed and put his face in his hands before he nodded.

“You’re right . . .” B. huffed. “I can’t do that to those kids.”

“You shouldn’t,” Tim confirmed. “Look, I’m not saying bend over backwards for Sabrina. It’s okay to have a backbone and tell her ‘no’, what I’m saying is, take care of her, because she’s the mother of your kids, and those kids are going to love you in a way that only they can. Don’t ruin that for them, and don’t ruin that for yourself.”

“She wants to move back in together,” B. said. “Should I say  yes ? I mean, roommates don’t always have to be in this deep, committed relationship, right ?”

“Jane and I aren’t,” Tim explained.

“Pfft - whatever,” B. said. “The only person you’re lying to with that statement is yourself and Jane. You guys are basically glued together at this point.”

“Not romantically,” Tim reminded.

“Romantically or not,” B. started. “Whatever you guys have, it’s deep, and real. It’s something you can’t just find anywhere. I don’t know how you guys do it.”

Tim thought for a moment. It was something he thought of every day. He pondered on it, and it would sneak into his head at random, and sometimes even inconvenient times. 

Why was she still there with  him ?

It wasn’t like she needed him or anything.

Nobody really did.

“I don’t either,” he responded. “But, somehow, we do.”

His tone was rather soft, a little confused, but mostly emotionless, robotic.

“You’re too humble,” B. commented. “You have a good thing going for you. You got a partner in life, a kid, a really nice house, pets, a good job. I wish I had that kind of stuff, I guess it’s not in my plans . . .”

His voice seemed to trail off as Tim dove deeper into these thoughts he had. They weren’t new or rare, but he hadn’t had them for  awhile . They had always been there at the back of his mind, like the back burner of the brain stove. B. was right, his life was good for the moment, but did he really deserve  it ? Was it in his  plans ? Would he lose it  all ? He would. He knew himself. If things went too well for too long, he managed to mess them up. This was no exception. He had already messed up, he was going to mess up again, and again, and again -

“Tim ?”

He shook his head and looked back at B., before he blinked for a moment to get his blurred vision back into focus.

“ Huh ? ” he asked.

“Are you  okay ? ” the twin asked. 

“I - I’m . . . I’m fine,” he responded.

Maybe this conversation would be easier if he was drunk, or high, or both. He felt a shiver up his spine, before he blinked to himself. Not  **_ now _ ** .

“Do you want to stay for dinner ?” Tim asked. “We have more than enough food.”

“Sure,” B. confirmed. “As long as I can take some back for Billie and Sabrina.”

“I’ll be sure to box it up for you to take back home,” Tim said. “Just make sure to bring the  tupperware back as soon as you can. Jane has all these glass  tupperware bowls and she would have a heart attack if she saw that one of them was in your pantry.”

“Why would you guys have  **_ glass  _ ** tupperware bowls ?” B. questioned.

“Fancy things make you excited as an adult,” Tim claimed. “Glass tupperware, house décor, welcome mats, a nice backyard.”

“I don’t get the appeal,” B. sighed. “Billie has fun in our backyard. There’s a pomegranate bush by the gate, there’s normally a muddy patch for the kid to play in. It’s simple.”

“Don’t you want to move out of that house ?” Tim asked. “You might have to since Sabrina’s having not one, but  **_ two  _ ** kids. You need room for cribs and such. A room for Billie to still grow and play in. Since you and Sabrina aren’t together, I’m sure she’d want her own room.”

“I don’t know if I’d be able to afford a house with all of that,” B. commented. “Or a house with a great school district and junk like this one.”

“Well, remember, this house was once a fixer – upper,” Tim commented. “Maybe you could find one that needs work too, and then make it  work ? I don’t think that the ones over on  Rottsville and  Lanesborough cost an arm and a leg, if you’re willing to go and look. I think I saw a few houses for sale when I was out driving the other day.”

Out driving, as in coming back from the thing that happened with A., but B. didn’t need to know that.

“I’ll talk to Sabrina about it, because there’s no way that I’m paying for a house all by myself again, especially since she’s living with us,” B. said.

“And that’s what having a backbone sounds like,” Tim pointed out. “She does deserve to pay for part of it. She lives there after all. It’s how Jane and I split up the payments – half and half on the bills each month.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” B. agreed.

The front door opened up and Tim looked to see Jane at the doorframe as she ran her fingers through the wispy loose strands of her hair. She gave a low sigh as she took her jacket off at the door.

“Honey, you’re home,” Tim called.

“Thank the cosmos,” she answered.

“Long  day ? ” he asked.

“Under a lot of pressure,” she answered. “I’m just glad I’m home now.”

She walked into the kitchen before she hugged him and buried her face into his chest. Her arms were around his neck as he swayed her around the kitchen, before she caught sight of B.. Jane let go of him, before she rubbed out the wrinkles on the dress she had on.

“Uh, hey ?” she greeted. “When did you get here ?”

“You didn’t see my car out there ?” B. asked.

“I wasn’t paying attention, I just wanted to get inside,” Jane explained. “I had a long day.”

“Did any designers want to put their dresses in your shop ?” Tim asked. “Did you get anymore Marjorie Armstrong dresses in ?”

She sighed before she sat down at the dining room table. She rubbed her temples before she took her glasses off all together.

“Yeah, but since she passed away, they aren’t the same,” she responded. “They lost the touch that her other ones had. They weren’t like the one I wore for the maternity pictures. I got a few from Claude Beauchamp, Joaquin Delemeux, and Joaquin Delemeux even showed up.”

“Isn’t that  exciting ? ” B. asked. “Like, you actually met one of the designers of the dresses !!”

“He’s kind of a jerk,” Jane said. “One of those snooty higherups that think they’re better than you – speaking of snooty higherups, Megan came by the shop to ask me about how Taffeta was doing since the fight. How does she know about  that ? Did you tell her anything ?”

“No,” Tim answered.

He pondered his fogged mind for a moment, in an attempt to remember how she could’ve found out. It was like looking for needles in a haystack to find the one specific memory, before it clicked momentarily.

“Her husband works at the school,” he said. “I can’t remember what he does.”

“Ugh, it’s like we have a walking surveillance camera,” Jane groaned. “It seems like, no matter where we go, someone has something to say about us – our family.”

“Believe me, I get it,” B. agreed. “I brought Billie to preschool the other day, and the first thing his teacher did was get down onto his level and ask him, ‘Where’s your mom ?’, and I had to explain that he didn’t have a mom, and that I’m his primary caretaker. Then even later on, she asked him, when it was time to pick him up, ‘Are you sure you know that man ?’.”

“Yeah, men are profiled really easy,” Tim said. “People treat men around kids differently than they do women. I’m glad Jane’s normally around, because then we can avoid the profiling.”

“Doesn’t stop the ‘So, how are you all related  again ? ’ questions,” Jane said. “Every once in  awhile , people have some rude comment to make about how we look like brother and sister, so it’s weird that we have a kid that looks like us. Quite frankly, it’s none of their business how Taffeta came into the world, regardless of if it was I.V.F or you know –  **_ Tim  _ ** ? I don’t go asking other moms, ‘So, how was  **_ your  _ ** baby made ?’.”

“That’s  **_ inappropriate _ ** ,” B. said. “It’s like asking people what kind of underwear they wear. You should start doing that, just to make them as equally as uncomfortable as they make you.”

“Eh, too petty,” Jane said.

The front door opened before they heard the ticks against the floor from Taffeta’s crutches.

“Hey, lima bean, dinner’s almost done,” Tim called to the staircase. “It’s time for you  nd your friends to wrap up whatever you girls were doing over there so you can come home and eat.”

“Aw,” Taffeta whined. “Do I have to ?”

“Yes,  Taff ,” Jane answered. “And it’s a school night, I’m sure that everyone’s going to have to wrap up everything in a little bit eventually anyways.”

“School’s no fun,” Taffeta pouted. “I have to deal with Whitney and the mean girls – they're popular now  momma !! Whitney trades her lunch with everyone and she has the good snacks.”

“It’s also probably why Whitney’s the size of a beachball and you’re not,” B. claimed.

“Besides, there’s really nothing fun about being popular,” Jane claimed. “Sometimes you have to pretend to be someone you aren’t just so people like you.”

“Or do dumb things, like promise to get a soda machine in the cafeteria, or no homework in any of the classes,” Tim added. “Trust me, lima bean, being popular isn’t all  its chalked up to be.”

“On top of that, you get smart in school and being smart gets you to places that being popular never will,” B. stated. “Trust me, I work a really good job, all because I’m smart.” 

“Fine . . .” Taffeta sighed.

She went back out the front door to get her toys and stuffed animals from Phoebe’s, before she came back to eat dinner with her family and get along with her bed time routine.

“You have an art history degree,” Jane reminded. “You literally worked in a skateboard shop from  highschool all the way until Taffeta was born – that's a solid eleven years, B..”

“Well, at least it got your kid to stop arguing,” B. pointed out. “But, with that degree, I got a job an  an art curator, and you can’t get that job without a degree.”

“I hate to break it to you and Tim both, but you can still get a great job with a degree,” Jane said. “I run a business, and look, no degree. Just a permit and a dream.”

“A degree never hurt anybody,” Tim claimed. “It’s good to have something to fall back on. I hope Taffeta wants to go to college in the future, but I’m not in a rush to think about it.”

“I want Billie to go to college too,” B. agreed. “But he is  **_ not  _ ** getting an art history degree without minoring in something useful. Art history and Philosophy are some of the most useless college degrees, I’m just lucky that I found a job in my career field.”

“You minored in Philosophy ?” Jane asked. “I thought you minored in engineering ?”

“No, I just said that so I wouldn’t have to hear anything from A., about ‘straying from our passion’,” B. sighed. “He’s the builder. I just make the blueprints.”

“I minored in business,” Tim said. “While having a business degree is useful, it is one of the most boring courses a college person could take – I remember doing an entire  dimebag of coke to study for a test, at least studying was interesting when I  was . . .”

He felt chills run through his body. His head seemed to throb at the thought. He looked at his hands and flexed his fingers, before he shook his head. 

Things were more interesting when he was high.

“Well, I didn’t need a class to figure out how to run a business,” Jane defended. “I think that my shop is doing fine for an owner without a business degree.”

The door opened again and Taffeta came back in with a few of her stuffed animals that she set on the couch before she went to the table that had been set by Tim. She looked into the bowl to see rice, vegetables, and meat.

“What’s  this ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Stir fry,” Tim answered. “Chinese food.”

“Couldn’t we have just gone to Dynamite Dim Sum to get Chinese  food ? ” Taffeta asked.

“That’s all the way across town,” Tim said. “It would take us too long to get there on a school night, lima bean.”

“Maybe another day,” Jane suggested. “Like a Friday, or a Saturday that you don’t have school.”

Taffeta sighed, before she picked up her fork and started to eat her food.

“Is . . . is it good ?” Tim asked. “It’s the first time I ever made it, so be gentle.”

“It’s okay,” Taffeta answered.

Jane nudged Taffeta, before she shot her a stern look to scold her.

“You’ll get better if you practice more, poppa,” Taffeta added.

Jane and B. started to eat some of theirs before B. scrunched his nose at the flavor.

“Okay, just as a tip for next time, use more soy sauce,” B. suggested. “I know that it might seem like a lot of soy sauce, but the flavor gets lost in the amount that you cooked, so if you’re cooking the amount you cooked, I’d say to use at least half the bottle.”

“I think it’s good for a first time,” Jane soothed. “You’ll get better the more you cook it. Hey, I think you did better than I would’ve.”

“Well, I am the cook of this house,” Tim reminded. “What was the last thing you  made ? Boxed macaroni and cheese ?”

“I never said I was good at cooking,” Jane reminded. “I just do my best.”

Tim felt another chill come up his spine and his mouth watered, not at the food, but at something  else . . . He pushed back from the table and stood.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. “I need some pain reliever.”

He walked up the stairs and rubbed his hands together. Maybe he had some in his room, left over from last  time ? It wasn’t going to be too much, just a little bit. It was just to get this craving, the edge off. He could stop at any  time !! He was going to have a hold on it this time.

He opened the door to his bedroom before he shut the door gently behind him. He opened the top drawer of his dresser and shuffled around his socks and underwear, before he found the little mirror in a rubber case that he had gotten as a little thing from  Melanoff’s job and a razor blade. He set them onto the top of his dresser, before he continued to look for it.

Tim sighed once he found the empty bag in his dresser. He flipped the bag inside out to see if there was any stuck to the sides.

Nothing.

He put the small plastic bag against his nostrils and sniffed, in an attempt to maybe get a trace.

Still nothing.

He got onto the ground before he looked at the carpet. His hands her shaking now, he was shaking. He chewed the inside of his cheek and muttered to himself as he  scowered the floor to see if any had fell when he did this last.

“Shit,” he whispered to himself. “Goddamn it.”

He heard a soft knock on his door before he got off the ground.

“Tim, what are you doing in there ?”

It was Jane.

Shit.

“Nothing, darling,” he answered. “I’ll be out in a second.”

He got up from the ground and put the mirror and razor blade back into his dresser drawer, before he shut the drawer. He ran his hand through his hair before he shook his head and walked to the door. He plastered a fake smile ( something he had gotten better at over the years ) on his face once he met eyes with a concerned Jane.

“What were you doing in  there ? ” she asked.

“I brought the bottle in there after a shower the other day,” he lied. “Did something happen ?”

“No, but the bottle of painkillers is in our bathroom,” she said. “I just checked.”

He forced a laugh before he put his hand on her shoulder.

“I forgot,” he lied again. “I did bring it back after I was done. My head’s been spinning all day.”

“Has it now ?” she asked. “ So if I go in your room, I won’t find anything ?”

“Nope !!” he squeaked. “Absolutely not – but hey, we left dinner so quick, maybe we should get back down there. It’d be rude to just leave B. and Taffeta down there, alone.”

“You head on back down,” she said. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“I insist, you go down first,” he said. “You’re the hostess.”

“Are you fighting again ?”

They looked to the side to see Taffeta, as she looked at them with huge, puppy dog eyes.

“No, no,” Jane soothed. “We were just talking about something. We’ll be down in a minute.”

“Actually, let’s both go down with her,” Tim suggested.

“Yeah, momma,” Taffeta agreed.

Jane looked over her shoulder and squinted at Tim, who shrugged back to her, as nonchalant as he could. She looked back to Taffeta, who held her hand as they walked down the stairs together.

Tim locked the inside of his bedroom door, though he knew he’d have to pocket one of Jane’s bobby pins to get back in the next day at the latest  ( for clothes, at the very  least ) , but it was better than having her find out. It would crush her if she found out what he’d done within that room, right under her nose.

He shut the door and took a deep breath in, before he steadied himself. He adjusted his shirt before he walked back down the stairs and joined his family at the table.


	15. Paradox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || DISCLAIMER AND TRIGGER WARNING !! ; This chapter features explicit alcohol usage, and even verbal abuse, as well as trauma and over all very tense situations. It's a bit on the shorter side, but there's a lot of stuff packed into it, but be warned that this one is one of the darker, more serious chapters. This isn't written in a way to romanticize the situation, or beautify it, it's told in a way that's rather straight forward and gritty !! 🥺🤲❤✨

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔽𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟  :

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕩

◟ ◞

It was about midnight, and Taffeta had woken up. She couldn’t sleep. Earlier, after her uncle had left, both her parents argued about something – how Tim was hiding something. They argued about it for a long time. It seemed like they argued a lot these days, about a lot of things. She didn’t like it, not one bit.

She looked to see that it was still dark outside, but she couldn’t sleep. She grabbed her moth and climbed out of bed before she walked with quiet, soft tip toes to her parents’ bedroom. The door creaked open before she saw the silhouettes  of cat heads pop up from the bed. Then a soft ‘meow’. She clicked her tongue and held a hand out, before she saw Smokey jump off the bed and walk towards her hand and sniff, before he gave her permission to pet him. She scratched his head, before she guided her fingers to his chin. 

Her legs trembled. Maybe she should go and get her  crutches ? Then her momma or poppa might realize that she was awake. She couldn’t have that; she could get in trouble for being up so late on a school night. She then noticed another thing that was strange – her poppa wasn’t in the bed. She knew he went to bed that night, after they argued, but the bathroom light wasn’t on, and it seemed like everyone in the house was asleep.

She walked out of the room and down the hallway to his bedroom, before he jiggled the door handle.

Locked.

Taffeta got onto her knees to see if any light came out from under the door.

Nothing.

He wasn’t there either.

She propped her hands onto his door, before she maneuvered herself off the ground. She stretched both of her legs and groaned quietly at the pain. She watched as Smokey followed her to the stairs. She couldn’t scoot down, because it was too loud. She didn’t want to wake her momma up.

She grabbed onto the railing with both hands before she put one foot on the next step.

“Mrow ?”

“Sshh.”

Taffeta repeated her quiet steps, extra careful as not to fall. Her hands gripped the railing as tight as she could before she went down the next step, gently – she pressed her toes against the wood before she applied the pressure of the front of her foot, then the arch, lastly the ball. This happened with both feet before she went and did it again – front, arch, ball. Eventually she made it to the bottom of the staircase, before she walked to her poppa’s desk and slid out a drawer that held vinyl record albums.

On top of his desk, there was a record player. She didn’t quite understand why he had one when they could simply stream music from their phones to the  bluetooth speakers or play music from the T.V, but it was nice. She liked the sound of the records as the static hissed quietly before the song started to play. She picked up one of the vinyl record cases and slid the actual record from its cardboard casing. She placed it gently on the record player, picked up the needle and put it onto the third groove in the record, and flipped the switch to turn it on.

The all too familiar hiss played before she heard sounds of a slow violin come from the small speaker on the side of the record player. She watched the disc spin as the music played, before she went to the cardboard box to see Mortimer with the remaining few kittens she had. Gus had gone to live with Sabrina and B., and from the pictures she’d seen, he’s doing well with his new older sister,  Chaunceux . Billie had been taking good care of him, feeding him every day, giving him all the cuddles and love he needs.

Soft scratches were heard against the cardboard, and she looked to see Smokey, as he looked over the edge and used his paw to touch Mortimer’s ear, which twitched in response.

Taffeta giggled before she ran her fingers along Mortimer’s soft stomach fur. She then saw headlights in the window. She felt chills up her spine, that had to have been her poppa. It couldn’t have been anyone else. She’d get in trouble if he found her awake this late on a school night !!

She quickly hid under the couch. It was a tight squeeze, there was barely any wiggle room. The musty, dusty smell of cat fur and dirt filled her nostrils and she pinched her nostrils shut, before she heard the front door open and slam shut. She saw the familiar dress shoes that her poppa wore when he went out places, but an unusual smell accompanied his presence. It was a sweet smell, like syrup or slightly over ripened fruit.

She heard him hiccup before she heard him start to walk up the stairs.

Smokey followed him up the stairs, and attempted to weave through his legs, before Taffeta heard a dead thump on the staircase that caused her to tense at the sound. She covered her mouth, as not to squeal and alert her poppa. It was quiet enough that she could hear everything.

“Goddamn cat, go . . .”

That was absolutely her poppa’s voice, but there was something different about it. It was slow, and didn’t sound right, as if he’d been sleeping, but he couldn’t have been sleeping, because he just got home from  driving !! You can’t sleep while you  drive !!

That was followed by a yowl and another thud. She then saw Smokey at the bottom of the staircase. He laid like he had been hurt. Taffeta reached her hand out as far as she dared, in an attempt to coax the cat towards herself, but he didn’t get up to walk, he simply tilted his head to Taffeta’s view.

“ Shit . . .”

There were a few more thumps up the staircase, followed by swears and frustrated groans. Some were on the  floor, others were on the wall. His steps were heavy, and his weight seemed to be concentrated to his lower half. She jumped at the sound of glass breaking upstairs, before she heard him again.

“Fuck’s sake . . .”

“Tim, what are you doing ?”

That was her momma’s voice.

“ _ None _ ,” he answered. “ _ I didn’t do none _ .”

“Oh my god,” she sighed. “ _ Where  _ did you  go ? ”

“ **_ None  _ ** !!” he shouted.

“Tim, you’re  **_ drunk  _ ** !!”

“ **_ No, ‘Mm not _ ** !!”

“You have two vodka  bottles in your  **_ hand _ ** ,  **_ dumbass  _ ** !! I can’t believe you – first, you’re hiding something, and now you’re leaving, in the middle of the night to go and get  **_ wasted  _ ** ? I thought you were doing  **_ good  _ ** !!”

“’Mm  **_ good _ ** , Jay,” he defended. “ **_ I have been good. ‘Mm good, we good _ ** .”

“We’re not  **_ good _ ** , we haven’t been  **_ good _ ** ,” she said. “I wanted you to be  **_ better _ ** , I really did . . . I just . . .”

Taffeta felt knots form in her stomach, and her throat, as she covered her mouth. She wanted to cry at the sound of her mother’s voice. She’d never heard her momma speak to her poppa like this, it wasn’t angry, it wasn’t sad . . . it was just . . .  **_ hurt _ ** .

“If you’re going to go back to this,  **_ Taffeta  _ ** and I are . . .” Jane paused. “Taffeta and I are going to have to find another place to go. I’ll have to take your  **_ daughter  _ ** away – what about that’s not  **_ clicking  _ ** to  you ? ”

“ **_ I’ll take her _ ** !!” Tim shouted.

“ **_ You’re not going anywhere with her  _ ** !!”

“ **_ I’ll take  _ ** **_ her  _ ** !! **_ You fuckin’ suck _ ** !!”

“ **_ Don’t talk to me like that  _ ** !!”

“ **_ Fuck you _ ** !!”

“ **_ Tim, shut up, you’re drunk  _ ** !!”

“ _ Piss  _ _ off _ !! No touch – don't touch  meee . . .”

Taffeta tensed as she heard a bottle hit the floor, and it rolled down the stairs, before it rested against Smokey’s stomach. She listened to a weak mewl from the grey tabby, but she didn’t dare leave her spot from under the couch. Not yet. She didn’t know what she’d come out to see.

She heard a little more of the commotion upstairs, before she heard lighter, less clumsy footsteps come down the stairs, followed by the sound of crying. A weight was pressed on top of the couch before she saw two feet in front of her. They were her momma’s.

“Great  Willoughbys ,” her momma muttered. “You’re so focused on being a  **_ great  _ ** Willoughby. Call Mother and Father the worst link in the chain, and then you pull  **_ this  _ ** on us. The only thing you’re  **_ great  _ ** at is being a total  **_ dick  _ ** !!”

Then there was more crying.

“ _ Why  _ ? ” a pause. “ _ Why  _ ? _ Why do I still love  _ _ him _ ? Cosmos  _ sake _ , look at what he does. I can’t trust him for  anything !! The moment I let him into my life – he was supposed to be  _ different _ . He wasn’t supposed to be like this. Why is he like  this ? Why am I so  _ stupid  _ ? **_ Why do I still love his stupid  _ ** **_ ass _ ** ? ”

Taffeta wanted to reach out and grab her momma’s foot, but she couldn’t without getting in big trouble. She simply covered her mouth and felt a few tears come out of her eyes. The ground was sticky with moisture that came off of Taffeta’s body. She saw her momma get up before she went back around and picked Smokey up to examine what happened to the poor cat. Once her footsteps became distant, Taffeta wiggled out from under the couch, before she went to the powder room to wash her face off.

Her face felt feverish, hot, and her nose was stuffed up. It felt like she could barely breathe out her nose. She heard the same few notes as the song on the record player kept skipping to the same part. It was all just background noise that clouded her mind.

What did her momma mean that her poppa was  drunk ? She’d never heard the word before. She’d never heard her momma or poppa talk to  eachother like that. She understood being angry, but what they said sounded . . . hateful. They didn’t hate  eachother , she knew that, but everything they said made it seem like they did.

She wanted to believe that they didn’t, they couldn’t have. They were her parents and parents didn’t hate  eachother . She saw her parents like she saw Anya and Phoebe’s - she watched as Missus Bea and Mister Randy would kiss and gross all the kids out, she watched as Missus Celeste would poke Mister Lars while he wasn’t looking and pretend it wasn’t her. Her parents did those things, like dancing in the kitchen or cuddling on the couch, but how could they say things like that to  eachother ?

She splashed water in her face before she went back to the staircase. She made her way back up the staircase, but ducked and hid behind the corner as she looked down the hallway to see both of her parents. Her breaths were unsteady, and she clutched her chest.

“Sorry . . .” he crooned.

He pulled on Jane’s arm and tried to pull her into a hug. He pouted and kept gently tugging on her in an attempt to coax her over.

“Stop it,” she said. “Go to bed.”

“Sorry,” he soothed. “ Sorry . . .”

“No, stop with the  sorries ,” she scolded. “Go to bed, leave me alone.”

He finally grabbed onto her hips and pulled her in. She struggled to get away, but his hold was firm and he pressed his lips into her head, before  he whined again.

“Sorry.”

His tone was sing –  songy , as if he were a little kid, trying to be cute, but it wasn’t working. Jane still jerked and struggled in his arms, though she still treated him with the utmost care. 

“Tim, off, now.”

“ Please ? Sorry.”

“No.”

“In the bed, with  me ? Sorry.”

She finally sighed and shook her head, before she nodded.

“Fine.”

Taffeta rested her back against the wall, before she felt her heart pound against her chest. She shook her head. Something about that didn’t sit right, the way he grabbed her, the way she was uncomfortable. Taffeta didn’t want to leave them alone. Something was wrong. She felt like she needed to protect her momma.

She pulled herself back up onto the railing, before she watched the scene again. Her momma wasn’t in view, and she assumed that she went to the bed, but her poppa had a bottle full of some sort of liquid that he drank,  rather quickly , and he drank the rest of what was in it.

He wiped his upper lip and  hiccupped before he got into the bed, with his shoes on.

Taffeta made it up the last step, before she walked down the hallway. She stopped and crouched low to the ground once she saw what was going on. She squinted as she watched her momma lay her head on her poppa’s chest. His fingers went softly, and his touches were full of some odd sense of love – like an apology love, but not quite a love in a sense – loving, but not love. She didn’t know what was going on with him.

He pressed sloppy, yet kind kisses against Jane’s head.

Taffeta tensed as she saw a few more tears slip from her momma’s eyes, but her expression didn’t change. It was like she was still acting very strong, even though on the inside, she wasn’t very strong in the moment. It was a brave face. 

Eventually, he ended up falling asleep, in a harder sleep than he normally did, because this time he snored. He only did that when he was really tired.

Jane laid him back on the bed, before she got up to go to the bathroom.

Taffeta knew that she couldn’t go in right at that moment, but she could go back to her own room and pretend like she was asleep the entire time. She wished she was asleep the entire time, because maybe then she didn’t have to hear it. Maybe she is asleep, and this is all a bad dream, because her momma and poppa love  eachother and they wouldn’t be that mean to  eachother , ever.

She went back to her own room and shut the door, before she climbed on top of her bed and pressed her ear to the wall, to see if she’d be able to hear what her momma was doing. Once she was washing her hands, she knew she could get out of bed and go to their room, so she could be close to her momma.

She heard crying, which she had heard a lot of lately. Maybe, it was just a bad night, not a bad life. That’s what her Auntie Patience told her.

“It’s a bad day, not a bad life.”

Or like the sign in the doctor’s office said.

“We become what we behold.”

She didn’t have to live a miserable life if she didn’t want to. She heard the toilet flush, before the sink turned on and she heard the inconsistent splashes of the water as her momma washed her hands. She waited a little after the water stopped, before she went back to her door and popped the door from the frame. She peeked through the crack, before she saw her momma, taking her glasses off before she laid down.

Taffeta went back to the bed and to look for her moth, before she noticed that it wasn’t in her bed, but she had left it downstairs on her poppa’s desk.

She couldn’t go back down there, not after everything that happened. 

She needed her momma.

Taffeta opened the door even more before she looked at the sight before her.

Tim spread out like a starfish, with one of the two bottles in his hand. His chest rose and fell, stuttered a few times between the deep, loud snores. The sweet smell was very present in the room, it was unfamiliar, yet slightly comforting in an incredibly weird way. It was like an alcoholic’s perfume. She got closer to see strawberries and peaches on the bottle.

She went around before she saw her momma. Taffeta placed two curious fingers on her momma’s pinkish face and felt the swollenness of her cheeks, the puffiness under her eyes. Taffeta climbed onto the bed, before she placed a sweet, soft peck on her momma’s forehead, before she wiggled under Jane’s arm, and pulled the blankets over them both. She felt a heavy arm lay over both of them, before she heard an interrupted snort, and then drowsy snores once again. Taffeta saw the bottle, and squeezed her eyes shut to avoid the picture of it. She yawned and shut her eyes, as she tried to fall back asleep.

She felt tender, affectionate scratches in her hair by her momma’s pointy acrylic nails, but she continued to try and sleep. She didn’t want her momma to know she was awake to hear everything, and she didn’t want to get sent back to her room.

She needed her momma.

Little did Taffeta know how much her momma needed her too. Jane felt her heart steady as her small daughter laid so peacefully next to her, in contrast to the uncomfortable hot, drunkenness of Tim. She felt  inherently safer, because she knew that Taffeta was close to her, and if he tried to do anything with or to Taffeta, like run off with her to god knows where, she’d have a chance to step in and stop it.

The three  Willoughbys laid together in the  queen sized bed, and all attempted to sleep off what a nightmare of a day it had been for all three of them. Maybe tomorrow would be better, maybe today was just a hiccup in what’s supposed to be a good life, it’s what all that were  conscious hoped.

Jane squeezed Taffeta tight, as to make sure that her baby stayed close to her. In an attempt to comfort Taffeta ( even if Jane was unaware of whether or not Taffeta was even awake at this point ), as well as herself, she began to sing the one song that always brought her a sense of home, and comfort.

“ _ Through the glass, over the wall, looking for something new. Wake from the dream, forget about the past, at the end of the rainbow is you. What’s in a name, a familiar  _ _ refrain ? _ _ We all play our roles, in a box full of holes. When the future is lost and all lines have been crossed, I know where I will be. Through the lows and the highs, I will stay by your side. There’s no need for goodbyes, now I’m seeing the light. When the sky turns to grey, and there’s nothing to say – at the end of the  _ _ day . _ _ . . I choose you . . . _ ”

Taffeta melted into her momma’s touch; the mild fingers that ran through her hair, the familiar cozy warmth of her body behind her own – it's what the kid needed in that moment. There was nowhere safer than in her momma’s arms, and that had been something that, even though she was a big girl now, she would never say changed. She needed her momma, and she knew in her heart, she always will.

Jane opened her eyes to where they were half lidded, before she tilted her head down and planted a warm peck on the back of Taffeta’s head, before she finished the song.

“ _ I choose you . . . _ ”

Jane finally attempted to fall asleep.

The house was dead silent, except for the record player, which continued to play the haunting melody of violins throughout the house that entire night.


	16. Hot Cocoa / Magic Elixir

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕊𝕚𝕩𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟  :

ℍ𝕠𝕥 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕠𝕒 / 𝕄𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔 𝔼𝕝𝕚𝕩𝕚𝕣

◟ ◞

Jane helped Taffeta into her coat and crutches as they were about to leave the house for Phoebe’s pageant. Tim had disappeared earlier that day, and he hadn’t been back home since. They hadn’t been talking much, nobody in the house really had been. There was a persistent, empty void in her chest – she and Tim planned on going to this dumb Christmas pageant together, but he wasn’t there.

“Is poppa going to meet us there ?” Taffeta asked.

“I don’t think so, baby,” Jane sighed. “But look on the bright side, we’re going to get to see Phoebe do the thing she’s been practicing so hard for. She’ll be excited to see you there.”

“Oh, the flowers, momma !!” Taffeta reminded. “Are they still in the fridge ?”

Jane got up from crouching to go look in the refrigerator, before she saw three bottles of peach – strawberry flavored, Blossom – brand vodka in place of where she had the bouquet. She wanted to be angry, but sadly, she expected something like this.

“For cosmos sake, Tim . . .” she muttered to herself.

“Uh, Taff, I think they must’ve wilted,” Jane lied. “It looks like poppa threw them out.”

Taffeta pouted and crossed her arms.

“They were okay this morning !!” she whined.

Jane wanted to cry, but she pushed back the tears, before she managed to smile at her daughter.

“We can go by Save – Mart and buy another bouquet on the way over to the pageant,” Jane reassured. “Maybe we might find another one that’s better for Phoebe – one she might like more.”

“You really think  so ? ” Taffeta asked. “She likes tulips. Pink ones.”

“We’ll see if they have any pink tulips in the bouquet section,” Jane said. “Then we’ll head to the pageant, okay ?”

Taffeta nodded, though she didn’t provide a verbal response.

Jane looked at her phone really quick to check the time. They had a good while before they had to be there. Maybe, to lift both of their spirits, they could go to a little café that she had her eyes on. It was in the neighborhood of where the pageant was hosting the event, so all they would have to do is drive down the street to get to the pageant.

She led Taffeta out of the door, before she helped her into the car.

Jane scoffed as she noticed a small dent in the driver’s side door of her car. She knew it had to have been from Tim coming home the previous night. She wanted to be  angry . . . but she couldn’t help but to wonder where he was. She wanted him there, sober, of course. She wanted to hear him make snide comments about how Queen’s daughter was going to get destroyed in the pageant, she wanted to listen to him squawk as he tried to sing “Let It Snow” once it came on the radio, she wanted to have someone’s hand to hold while she watched a stupid c hild beauty pageant that she didn’t want to be at alone.

She missed him.

She got into the driver’s side door, before she turned the car on. She turned on the radio to the Christmas station  ( that had been playing Christmas music since  December ) , so they had something to listen to while the car warmed up. She heard the upbeat pop tune of the one Christmas song she thought was far too overhyped, but she smiled as she heard Taffeta sing along to the song, as she bounced in her booster seat.

She backed out of the driveway, before she started to drive out towards the city. Their first stop was Save – Mart, which hopefully wasn’t packed. It was a few weeks before Christmas, so there were definitely going to be people there, shopping for Christmas presents, stocking up on food for the season, attempting to buy winter clothes, and so on. She didn’t want to be standing in line forever, because that would simply make their  time they needed to get to the pageant less.

They soon arrived at the rather packed parking lot and Jane helped Taffeta get out of the car.

“Hey  Taff , I think there might be a lot of people in there,” Jane said. “So, I’ll carry you inside, and you can ride in the cart.”

Taffeta’s eyes seemed to sparkle at the idea of riding in one of the shopping carts.

“Can we get one of the ones that look like a monster  truck ? ” she asked.

“If they have any left,” Jane agreed. “It looks like there’s a lot of people here today.”

Jane picked Taffeta up and propped her on her hip as they walked inside. They were greeted by a slew of people walking in and out, sloppily shoving shopping carts back into the racks before someone else would pull them out and continue on into the store.

“Aw, that lady just took the last monster truck cart,” Taffeta sighed.

Jane watched as a woman plopped her giant purse down into the child seat of the cart. She felt a twinge of annoyance as the woman obviously didn’t have any kids, but her annoyance then faded due to hearing Tafeta yet again.

“Maybe her kids’ dad is inside already,” Taffeta commented.

Jane gave her a quick, soft smile before she grabbed one of the regular shopping carts and put Taffeta inside. She started to wheel inside the store and looked around at the Christmas decorations that the store had. One place she always loved to go to around Christmas time was the mall – every year since Taffeta had been  born they’d taken her to get pictures on the mall Santa’s lap. They’d gone window shopping so everyone had an idea of what they needed for presents. To finish off the trip, they’d get the cheap hot cocoa from the food court and they’d sit down and drink their cocoa.

“I wish poppa was here,” Taffeta sighed. “He would’ve carried me on his shoulders.”

Jane didn’t respond right away.

She wished he was there too.

“Yeah, I know he would’ve,” Jane agreed. “But, let’s not focus on that, we need to be focused on the flowers for Phoebe.”

“You’re right,” Taffeta agreed. “Pink tulips.”

Jane nodded at the ‘pink tulips’ reminder, before she walked into the store. She looked in the baked good section to see that Megan’s husband was there with their son, Lucas, and their daughter Sierra.

“I thought that this cake looked really good on the website,” he said to the two teenagers. “And  it’s chocolate cake, I’m sure your sister will love it when she gets back from the pageant with the Grand Supreme crown.”

Jane’s eyebrow rose in  curiosity . It seemed like every jackass in town had signed their daughter up for this Christmas beauty pageant – well, Jane didn’t think that Celeste and Lars were jackasses, but Megan and Queen, however . . . you get the idea.

She continued on to the garden section where there was a refrigerator full of different, freshly cut bouquets. It was like a rainbow of different color flowers. There were roses, daisies, peonies, orchids,  lillies , and of course tulips. Taffeta jumped up in the cart, before Jane quickly caught her before she fell over and hurt herself.

“Look momma !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Pink tulips !!”

Jane huffed as she caught her breath.

“Yes,” she heaved. “Tulips. Now, remember what we always tell you about jumping in the cart ?”

“Oh, right,” Taffeta remembered.

She sat back down as Jane let her go to open the refrigerator door and handed her the bouquet of pink roses for Phoebe. Taffeta clutched the bouquet to her chest as they walked to the checkout counter in the garden section, where an older woman in a Christmas sweater  ( that had little polar bears in winter clothes ) and the orange Save – Mart vest was working.

Taffeta placed the bouquet on the counter as the woman scanned it.

“Oh, who’s the lucky person getting this  bouquet ? ” the woman questioned.

“My best friend is in a beauty pageant,” Taffeta answered. “My momma said we should get her something nice, even if she doesn’t win.”

Jane felt her face heat up in embarrassment, because she started to realize how discouraging that sounded when it was said to someone else that wasn’t her daughter, and said to a stranger without context.

“We really hope she does,” Taffeta claimed. “Because this girl that picks on us at school is in the beauty pageant too, and if my best friend wins, that means that the mean girl won’t win.”

“Karma normally gets those girls in the end,” the woman agreed. “Eight twenty six.”

Jane took her phone ( that was in a furry leopard print wallet case ) out of her pocket before she pulled out her credit card and swiped it along the pin machine.

“I really hope your friend likes her bouquet,” the woman dismissed. “Have a lovely time at the pageant.”

“Thank you !!”

Jane walked the cart back to the entrance they came in from, before she lifted Taffeta out of the cart, and propped her up on her hip again. She adjusted her own face to see over the bouquet of flowers as she carried Taffeta back to the car. She shivered as she felt Taffeta tremble in her arms. Both of their breaths were visible in the cold New York winter air.

“I think we might need to break out the beanies and earmuffs,” Jane commented.

“I - I h – hope p – poppa b – brought his jacket with h – him when h – he left earlier,” Taffeta shuttered. “H - He m – might b – be freezing !!”

Jane knew he didn’t, and that only meant he would come back home sick. The worst part is that she knew that wasn’t going to stop him from leaving again Sunday, or Monday, or Tuesday, or the rest of the week. She knew how he was when he was like this. All she could hope for is that he pulls his head out of his ass when Taffeta has her Christmas recital for school, and on Christmas. Fingers crossed he doesn’t do anything drastic before then, like hurt either her or Taffeta  ( she doubted that he’d hurt Taffeta, but she didn’t want to let her guard  down ) , or lose his job at  Melanoff’s ( Even though  Melanoff was their dad, he wasn’t going to let Tim keep his job if he was incapable of doing the actual  job ) .

“Hopefully he doesn’t get sick,” Jane lied.

She helped Taffeta back into the car, and rested the bouquet of flowers on her lap. She got back into the driver’s side before she repeated the process; seatbelt, turn the car on, turn the heater on, radio. The tune to “Let It Snow” started and she felt the void in her chest grow a slight bit more. At this point, Tim would’ve already pestered her by singing off key on purpose to the song, Taffeta would’ve joined in, and she would’ve laughed.

She looked at the clock on the radio and saw that they still had enough time to go to that café she saw by where the pageant was before they actually had to go.

“Hey  Taff , do you want to get a hot cocoa before we go to the pageant ?” she asked. “We have a little bit of time left, and I saw this place and it’s super close to where the pageant is.”

“Do we have enough  time ? ” Taffeta asked. “I don’t want to be late and miss any part of Phoebe’s pageant.”

“There’s always time for hot cocoa,” Jane claimed. “We won’t be late. I promise, you’ll be able to see the place the pageant is at from the café.”

“Are you sure ?” Taffeta asked.

“I’m positive,” Jane confirmed.

“Okay, I guess I could go for some cocoa,” Taffeta said. “It’s really cold outside.”

“Maybe the cocoa will warm you up,” Jane reassured. “It always makes me feel warm on a super cold day. Your granny used to make hot cocoa on the stove for us, and we’d all sit around the table and play board games. Your uncles used to crush us at Monopoly, your poppa was really good at Clue, and I loved Life.”

She could hear A.’s voice in her mind as he would tell them, after they won, “Well, you should’ve tried not being poor.” with B. agreeing with him. It was small moments like those she always took for granted. She wished she could have those cozy, winter game nights, but she knew that right now, the essence of what they were simply wouldn’t be there anymore.

She pulled out of the parking lot at Save – Mart, before they left to go to the little café next to the college campus that was generous enough to host the pageant in their own theatre. After another little stint of driving, they arrived at the little café called “Bumblebee’s”.

Jane helped Taffeta out of the backseat of the car, before she helped Taffeta back into her crutches. She helped Taffeta inside the café.

She looked at the warm color scheme of dark, woody browns, golden, deep yellows, and amber oranges. The smell of coffee, chocolate, peppermint, cinnamon filled the air. The inside of the café was warm in comparison to the outside. Jane took Taffeta to the counter, where Taffeta looked into the display case, where they had their baked goods, like gingerbread men, cake pops that looked like Christmas characters  ( like snow men, reindeer, elves, Santas ), and cakes of many different flavors.

Jane was greeted by a younger man, in a yellow apron.

“Hi there, welcome to Bumblebee’s !!” he greeted. “What would you  like ? Our drink of the day is a cinnamon blend Americano, I’d recommend it. The cinnamon and coffee really compliment eachother.”

“Do you guys make hot  chocolate ? ” Jane asked.

“We do,” he answered. “So hot chocolate ?”

“Two.”

“Two; what sizes ?”

“A medium and a small.”

“Whipped  cream ? Marshmallows ?”

“Whipped cream, on both, please.”

“Names for the cup ?”

“Jane and Taffeta.”

“ Momma ? ” Taffeta asked from the display case. “Can we get two of the reindeers on a stick ?”

“And two reindeer cake pops,” Jane added.

“And two reindeer cake pops,” the cashier repeated. “Sixteen seventy – three.”

Jane brought about her wallet back out before she pulled her credit card before she swiped it in the PIN machine for the second time that night, before she looked to see Taffeta grabbed a spot next to the window, and she had a box with her. Jane took the two cake pops, and walked to the table.

“What did you get ?” she asked.

“They had board games on that shelf over there,” Taffeta explained. “I sounded this one out and I think this one’s that one you like; ‘Life’ ?”

Jane examined the box, before she realized that she was right, it was a more modern chic looking version of the game that she used to dominate everyone at during their little game nights when they all still lived with  Melanoff and Nanny.

“I’m sure we could play a round before we have to go,” Jane claimed.

She opened the box to see little rows of the people pegs that were painted gold and silver, along with the four cars, in shades of gold, silver, bronze, and rose gold  The deck of cards  were all situated in neat little piles with their respective titles. It looked like Bumblebee’s really took care of their board games.

“Which car do you want ?” Jane asked.

She unfolded the board to reveal a shiny gold spinner, as well as the different tiles that each had different little actions such as losing a job, having a baby, sending your kids to summer camp, buying a boat, winning a lottery, buying a house, and so on.

“I want the pink car,” Taffeta answered.

Jane handed Taffeta the rose gold car, before she looked at the people pegs. She had a feeling that the silver ones were supposed to be the women, but Jane gave her a gold one, because gold is supposed to be the best. She took a gold one for herself before she placed the little peg in the gold car.

“So, we both start with twenty thousand dollars each,” Jane explained. “And you can choose to go to college or start off with a job.”

“I want to go to college, like poppa,” Taffeta answered. “I want to go to lawyer school like he did.”

“Lawyer school ?” Jane asked. “But what if you end up getting a doctor card when you graduate ?”

“Then I’ll be a lawyer – doctor,” Taffeta declared.

“One of the world’s firsts,” Jane claimed. “You must be very smart to be both.”

“I’m going to study hard to be the smartest in my college class,” Taffeta announced. “I’ll be the greatest Willoughby to ever go to college, and the first ever lawyer – doctor, and I’ll make both you and poppa proud.”

Jane counted the money from the bank, before she gave Taffeta the paper dollar bills.

“I think I might start off with a job,” Jane claimed.

She pulled a card from the top of the ‘Job’ deck, before she saw that she was an entertainer that made forty – thousand dollars every paycheck, not too shabby for not having a college degree.

“I’ll let you go first,” Jane said. “You spin the wheel and then whatever number it lands on, you move your car that many spaces forward.”

“It’s kind of like Candyland !!” Taffeta squeaked.

“A little bit,” Jane agreed. “Just Candyland has color cards, and Life has a number spinner.”

“And you could go to the Lollipop Woods in Candyland,” Taffeta reminded.

“And you can go to the Lollipop Woods in Candyland,” Jane confirmed.

Taffeta spun the wheel and moved her car three tiles forward.

“What do I do  now ? ” Taffeta asked.

Jane moved Taffeta’s car to see that she made five – thousand dollars by participating in a charity event.

“Well, you participated in an event to raise money for charity and you were paid five – thousand dollars,” Jane explained. “So, you get five – thousand dollars.”

She took five – thousand dollars from the bank before she handed it to Taffeta.

“It’s mine  now ? ” Taffeta asked.

“For the remainder of the game, yes,” Jane confirmed. “In the end, we count how much money we have, and whoever has more money when we retire, wins the game.”

“Is it your turn now ?” Taffeta sked.

Jane nodded as she turned the spinner and it landed on seven. She counted seven tiles with her car, before she realized that she passed a payday. She gave herself forty – thousand, before she resorted her money and paid the bank the fifteen – thousand dollars she lost due to her sprinkler system breaking down.

“Why’d you get more money,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Right now, I have a job,” Jane clarified. “Once you get a job, you get paid the amount of money on your job card, every time you pass one of these gold tiles – they're pay days.”

“Like the ones you and poppa  get ? ” Taffeta questioned.

“ Yeah ,well – your poppa gets them every two weeks,” Jane said. “Me, and Miss Clementine have to work out the money for everyone in my shop, and that means myself, Miss Clementine, Miss Olive, Miss Candace, Miss Josephine, and even for our cashier, Miss Audrey.”

They continued to play before Jane had to stop Taffeta once again.

“Why do I have to  stop ? ” Taffeta asked. “Are we  late ? Do we have to put up the game ?”

Jane laughed at her daughter’s concern before she shook her head. She looked at the grandfather clock that ticked by the front door to see that they all still had plenty of time left before they had to go to the theatre.

“No, you just graduated in the game,” Jane explained. “Relax, I promise I won’t make us late. Now you get to pick a card  off of that deck.”

Jane pointed to the ‘Career’ card deck before Taffeta pulled the card off the top and showed it to Jane.

Jane’s eyes widened at the job, before she smiled to her daughter.

“Well, apparently you went to lawyer school, so now you’re a lawyer in the game that makes one hundred thousand dollars every pay day,” Jane explained. “How does it feel to be a lawyer ?”

“Stressful,” Taffeta joked. “Sometimes I have to work really late and work on Saturdays from really early in the morning until really late at night, like poppa.”

If only she knew that wasn’t what he was doing.

Jane wouldn’t tell her.

The knowledge should only affect her and her alone. She didn’t want to tell Taffeta and perhaps even break the poor girl’s heart. Tim, regardless of how upset he was making Jane, was still Taffeta’s poppa, and if he wasn’t hurting Taffeta, she wasn’t going to hurt Taffeta for him.

She missed him too.

“Man, that must really suck,” Jane joked. “But at least you’re working really hard. Your poppa would be really proud of you.”

“Did he used to like this game when you guys were  young ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Not really, he thought it was boring,” Jane explained. “But he liked a game called ‘Clue’, where you guys all played different people in a house, and one of you are a killer, and the rest of you have to figure out who it is. Your poppa would always play Detective Green, Uncle A. would be Miss Scarlett, Uncle B. would be Miss Peacock, Granny was Professor Plum, Grandpop was  Corniel Mustard, I was Doctor Orchid.”

“Did Aunt Ruth ever  play ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Not really, she normally did her own thing on game nights, unless we were playing ‘Apples to Apples’,” Jane explained. “She thought our games were boring.”

They continued the game, and it went by pretty smoothly until Jane had to get their hot cocoas from the counter, which she brought back to the table, where Taffeta was debating on whether to put a silver person or a gold person in the car with her.

“Do I have to get married to just one  person ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Why do you ask ?” Jane questioned.

“Because I want to marry both Anya and Phoebe,” Taffeta reasoned. “But, just as friends. We won’t kiss or anything, because kissing’s gross.”

“Yeah, I know, especially kissing  boys ? ” Jane asked.

“You kiss poppa sometimes,” Taffeta reminded.

“Only on the cheek and the forehead,” Jane defended. “Besides, he’s the only boy I don’t mind kissing.”

“You kiss his neck sometimes too,” Taffeta added.

“You do realize that he’s six foot seven,  right ? ” Jane asked.

“Why do you  guys only kiss on the cheek and forehead ?” Taffeta asked. “Miss Bea and Mister Randy kiss on the lips, and they’re Anya’s mommy and daddy.”

“Miss Bea and Mister Randy are married,” Jane explained. “Your poppa and I aren’t.”

“Then why do you wear a wedding ring all the time ?” Taffeta asked.

Jane looked at the shiny, diamond ring on her finger that Tim had gotten her when Taffeta was still just a baby. It was to show that he was still committed to her and Taffeta, even though they aren’t married and never, ever will be, for obvious reasons.

“It’s not a wedding ring,” Jane justified. “It’s a ring your poppa got me when you were a baby. He got it to show me that even though we aren’t married, he still really, really cares about me – that he’s my partner in life. He wears watches for the same reason.”

“ So you buy him watches because he’s your partner in  life ? ” Taffeta asked.

“My partner in life, my best friend, your poppa,” Jane listed. “You and him are the most important people in my life, and you both mean the entire world to me. He bought me a ring to remind me that, even when it doesn’t seem like it . . . I’m still one of the most important people in his life, and he cares about me.”

“It’s like a reminder that he loves  you ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Sort of,” Jane agreed.

“Maybe I should get presents for Anya and Taffeta to remind them that I love them,” Taffeta suggested.

“When we go Christmas shopping, I can take you to  PrincessCorner ,” Jane claimed. “They have friendship bracelets and stuff there. You could buy them both a friendship bracelet or a friendship necklace.”

“They make  those ? ” Taffeta asked.

“I used to have one with my best friends back in high school,” Jane said. “I still have mine. It’s a little Eiffel Tower with a charm that says ‘friends’; Nikki and Andrea have the ‘best’ and ‘forever’ ones.”

“Do you still talk to your best friends ?” Taffeta asked.

“Every once in  awhile ,” Jane answered. “I haven’t seen them in years, but by the looks of their Pictograms, they’re doing really well. They have their own little families and live their own lives, and I hope the best for them.”

“I hope I talk to Anya and Phoebe forever,” Taffeta sighed. “I want us to be best friends for the rest of our lives.”

“Who  knows ? ” Jane claimed. “You might be really close friends – I know friends that have lived together for many, many years as grownups. Take Uncle B. and Miss Sabrina for example, they’re really good friends and they live together.”

“Really ?” Taffeta asked. “You think that might happen ?”

“If you guys are really the best of friends, it might one day,” Jane agreed.

Taffeta beamed and squealed at the thought of living with her two best friends when they were all grownups. That meant she got to wake up with her best friends every single day, and every night would be like one big sleepover  ( even though she’s never had a sleepover at this point in her life, but by what T.V told her, sleepovers were really fun. She couldn’t wait to have one of her own. ).

“We should continue with the game, so we could finish the game before we have to go,” Jane suggested.

“Yeah,” Taffeta giggled. “I wouldn’t want to be late to Phoebe’s pageant.”

“We want to watch her wipe the floor with Whitney, right ?”Jane asked.

“Yeah,” Taffeta agreed. “Phoebe’s going to be doing wood burning, like her dad taught her, and Whitney’s going to do ballet dancing for the talent part.”

“Wood burning ?” Jane asked. “That’s . . . definitely different.”

She wanted to see if the judges would rank uniqueness over the girly factor, because if they did, Phoebe would really have the talent part in the bag.

Taffeta looked outside to see big clumps of snow start to fall from the sky and land on the ground.

“Look momma, it’s snowing,” Taffeta pointed out.

“Well, would you look at  that ? ” Jane asked.

“Do you want to finish the  game ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Yeah,” Jane answered.

“You got to put people in your car too,” Taffeta said.

Jane picked up a silver person peg and put it in the passenger seat.

“It’s your turn, momma,” Taffeta claimed.

Jane flicked the spinner, and went three tiles forward, where she landed on a tile that read “Baby Girl !!”.

“What’s that mean, momma ?” Taffeta asked.

“I had a little baby girl in the game,” Jane answered.

She picked up another golden person peg, before she put it in the next row. She smiled a rather solemn smile – the smile where she was definitely smiling, but her eyes still seemed dull. Three little pegs in the car, just like her own perfect, little family.


	17. Lithe / Full of Grace

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣  𝕊𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟 :

𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕖 / 𝔽𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕆𝕗 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖

◟ ◞

Jane and Taffeta finally entered the theatre, after paying for their tickets. They looked, before Jane saw Celeste and Bea wave to her from the stands, with their families in tow  ( Their husbands, Anya, and the three visibly unamused Wolfe  boys ) . Jane met with her friends before Taffeta ran to meet with Anya.

“Look, Anya, I got Phoebe flowers !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

“I got her this stuffed dragon I found at Save – Mart !!” Anya responded. “I’m so excited, I hope she wins. I saw that Katsuki and Sophie are here too, maybe they’re here to watch Whitney. It’ll be funny when they watch her lose.”

“Really funny,” Taffeta agreed.

She looked behind herself to see Sophie with  her moms ( and an older girl she assumed was her  sister ) , and Katsuki, with her mom and brother that her mom talked about back in the principal's office. Sophie was in a pretty blue dress with sequins all over the top, and Katsuki was in a red dress that was incredibly similar to her mom’s.

“I still like our dresses better,” Taffeta whispered to Anya.

“Well, I don’t like this tuxedo at all,” Hamish complained. “I wish we could’ve stayed home.”

“Hey cub, we’re here to support our neighbors,” Randy reminded. “I want to be at home too, because there’s a wrestling match on tonight, but Lars and Celeste invited us, it would be rude to say no. Besides, your sister wants to support her friend, like she supports you guys.”

Lars signed something to Jane before Celeste quickly interpreted what he said.

“Good question, babe,” Celeste agreed. “Where  **_ is  _ ** Tim ? ”

“Oh, he’s uh – he's at the office,” Jane excused. “Had to work the weekend. You know how it goes.”

“Working the weekends suck,” Randy added.

“Oh, you have to go and slap a few parking tickets on cars over the weekend,” Bea laughed. “Imagine, being stationed in Korea, always on call, always on your toes.”

“You served in  Korea ? ” Jane asked.

It was all over the news right after Jane started her business, that the states went to war with North Korea, eventually both troops withdrew and called it a stalemate.

Bea giggled and gave Jane a smile.

“Sort of,” she claimed. “I came back, served in the N.Y.P.D for  a while , before I met Randy, we married, and I decided to stay home with Connor, then Damien, then Hamish.”

“Well, what did you do in  Korea ? ” Jane asked. “Air Force, Army, Marines, Navy, National Guard ?”

“Oh, Jane, Jane, Jane,” Bea started. “I wish I could tell you. Let’s just leave it at I know where every main artery is and I’ve taken men three times my size down.”

Jane felt a nervous chill settle over herself. Never in a million years would Jane had thought that someone as gentle as Bea Wolfe was in North Korea for some reason, and never would she have thought about Bea hurting another person, and by the sounds of it, worse.

She gave a smile to Bea, who smiled back before she looked at the stage as the lights flashed.

“Oh, we should probably sit in our seats,” Celeste commented.

The families sat down as a woman in a beautiful green dress came out on stage ( with teeth that would make Tim whisper “Maybe Brandi Buchanan lives on ?” ), she waved to the crowd, before her nasaly voice came over the speakers.

“Hello everyone, happy early holidays, I’m Tina Tinsley and I would like to welcome you to the Little Miss Yuletide pageant,” the woman greeted. “Come on out girls.”

She motioned for the line of thirty girls, all about Taffeta, Anya, and Phoebe’s age ( well, some looked to be three to four years old and others looked to be about six, but that’s still not much older or younger than five ). 

“In our three – year - old ‘Tiny Miss’ category; we have Lindsay Smith, Kiara Davidson - Jones, Olivia Booth, Isabelle Wright, Arrow Tate, Summer Holland, Stephanie Martinez, Ariel MacNutt, Inez Munch, and Daria  Postibule ,” Miss Tinsley introduced.

The tiny little three year  olds grabbed the hems of their puffy dresses in various shades of red, green, and gold, before the split apart to make room for the next group.

“In our four - year - old ‘Little Miss’ category; we have Rachel Taylor, Marisol Hernandez, Taylor Magic, Haven Murphy, Margaret Madrid, Octavia Spencer - Lane, Tabitha Tinsley,  MacKenzie Louis, Quinn Hill, and Lillianna Yang.” Miss Tinsley announced.

The next set of girls did their little curtsy, before Jane noticed that a few women in the crowd actually mimed a curtsy, so to became obvious that moms were feeding their kids information on that stage. She wondered if that was considered cheating, but she then thought about how biased the judges might be because it looked to be that Miss Tinsley’s daughter was also in the pageant.

Then it was the most important group, at least to the main trio. Phoebe’s group.

“In our five – year - old ‘Princess’ category; we have Whitney Kennicott – Johnson, Starla Baracco, Nadia Sinclair, Courage Abernathy, Jennifer Thatcher, Lola Harvey, Fredericka Malcolm, Kendra Peterson, Gianinna Walters and -”

Miss Tinsley seemed to have to pause and  stiffle a laugh.

“Phoebe Vinderstromm”

Jane gave a look back and forth between both Bea and Celeste, who looked back at her with equal concern. She hoped there was no bias against poor Phoebe. Maybe Miss Tinsley simply coughed and tried to play it off. Maybe they were too paranoid, but it was obvious that something set off their mom sensors.

Little did they know that Taffeta and Anya both felt something strange about it too, and Taffeta reached over to grab Anya’s hand in hope that Phoebe wasn’t doomed to fail from the start – that mean  **_ women  _ ** were already starting to pick on Phoebe too. 

The group did their bows before they split off and left.

“And lastly, we have our ‘Queen’ category; Clarissa Burkham, Amanda Oaks, Ashley Watson – Lee, Julia Del Rio, Larissa James, Vera Chu, Nicolette  Provianni , Comet Martinelli, Cecily Adams, and Xandra Walsh.”

Jane took a breath in at the realization that Phoebe wasn’t also up against Megan’s daughter, because that would simply be another thing Megan could have to hold above her head, and annoy her with. She then saw Megan, with her phone out as she waved to her daughter and whispered something to her.

Jane furrowed her eyebrows and thought for a moment. As much as she thought Megan was an annoying, stuck – up nuisance, she was a truly caring and supportive mother with a loving and supportive husband. Well, most moms really do their best. Jane was currently doing her best not to cry, and put on a strong front for Taffeta, because tonight was going to be a good night, even if Tim decided to disappear to god knows where to get drunk, high, or both.

They sat back and watched as the young girls walk off stage. Jane could definitely agree that it was mostly rather boring, as she watched and listened to Miss Tinsley introduce the small children, some of them threw tantrums, and had to be dragged around the stage by their moms as they continue to cry. 

It was seven forty – something at night, Taffeta was normally asleep by seven when she was three to four years old, and she took naps. Who knows the last time those poor kids had a true meal, or a  nap ? Kids their age needed it, their bodies were far too overstimulated to be in a good mood.

Then the five – year - olds walked on stage, in the order they were introduced. Jane scowled at the sight of Queen’s daughter as she had the usual, fake, brat child smile on her face. She held her pinkies up as she pinched the edges of her dress and walked like a perfect little swan – person.of her dress and walked like a perfect little swan – person.

“And this is Miss Whitney Kennicott – Johnson, she’s five years old. Some of her hobbies include doing makeup with her mom, and going on shopping sprees with her dad’s credit card,” Miss Tinsley introduced. “Her favorite color is purple, she loves peacocks, and her least favorite thing is bell peppers.”

Jane scoffed to herself. She was truly as much of a spoiled brat on stage as she was off stage, but they tried to clean up the kid’s devilish personality. She was simply glad that Tim didn’t have a kid with Queen, or else he would’ve been milked dry a long time ago. Who knows how his mental state would be now if he had never left ?

Maybe it might be better . . .

She shook her head as she realized she was supposed to clap after Whitney left the stage out of courtesy and etiquette. She looked to Taffeta before she saw her daughter’s eyes, staring back up at her. She gave a begrudging nod to Taffeta before Taffeta and Anya both grimaced as they clapped for Whitney too.

They went through the rest of the kids, before they finally got to the end of the category, which was Phoebe. Both Taffeta and Anya stood up and smiled, before they waved to her from their seats.

Lars and Celeste followed suit, as they gave her silent smiles, thumbs up, fist pumps.

Phoebe held her head high, but Jane noticed that Phoebe’s hands scrunched the ends of the dress, before she felt Bea tap her on the shoulder.

“I think she’s nervous,” Bea whispered. “Do you think it has something to do with that Whitney girl being backstage with her ?”

“Who knows what those girls must’ve said about her ?” Jane muttered back. “Whitney is Tim’s ex – wife's kid, and his ex – wife is one of the meanest women I know. Even if she doesn’t win, I hope we find a way to make her feel better. This was supposed to be a good thing.”

They listened as Phoebe was introduced.

“Lastly, we have Miss Phoebe  Vinderstromm , she’s also five years old. Some of her hobbies are playing princesses with her friends, and helping her dad with his woodwork,” Miss Tinsley introduced. “Her favorite color is pink, she loves grizzly bears, and her least favorite thing is getting bullied at school.”

“You tell ‘em, Pheebs !!” Anya shouted from the crowd.

After that, Phoebe smiled at both of her best friends, her back was a little straighter, her smile was a bit more genuine and far less forced, before she left the stage.

Miss Tinsley went through the group after theirs, before she dismissed everyone in the crowds for their intermission.

“And now we have to let our girls get ready for their talent portion, so please, take this time to try some of the cocoa at our hot cocoa and candy bar, and take this time to use the restrooms, so you can all stick around for the next portion of the show.”

Some of the girls came back out to the crowd to get one of their parents to go backstage to assist them with their talent, one of the girls being Phoebe, as she went to get Lars for his assistance.

“Dad, can you come help me set up the burner and  stuff ? ” she asked.

He nodded, before he went with Phoebe backstage.

“Do you girls want some  cocoa ? ” Bea asked. “Or do either of you have to go to the bathroom ?”

“Oh, hot cocoa sounds nice !!” Anya exclaimed.

“Momma, can I have candy from the candy  bar ? ” Taffeta asked.

“What kind of candy do you want,  Taff ?” Jane asked.

“A chocolate bar,” Taffeta answered.

“Do you boys need to go to the  bathroom ? ” Randy asked his sons.

The three boys huddled and whispered among  eachother about how it would be nice to get away from all the girly pageant things for just a moment, before they all agreed with their dad about going to the bathroom.

“I should probably go and help Lars and Phoebe,” Celeste said. “Are you girls going to be okay out here by yourselves for a little bit ?”

“I think we will be,” Taffeta answered.

Celeste left the two girls in their seats, before she met up with her husband backstage to help with their daughter.

Taffeta and Anya sighed as they saw both Sophie and Katsuki walk up to them, with their hands covering their faces and laughs escaping their mouths.

“What do you  want ? ” Anya asked. “I’ll punch you two again, and I won’t feel bad about it.”

“So that’s Phoebe’s  dad ? ” Sophie asked.

“Yes,” Taffeta answered. “And he’s really nice.”

“Why doesn’t he talk ?” Katsuki asked.

“Is it because he’s  dumb too ? ” Sophie pressed. “He doesn’t speak English ?”

“He does speak English !!” Taffeta defended. “He just speaks English in sign language, because he was born without his ears working !!”

“He’s deaf,” Anya clarified.

“ So he has a dad that can’t hear or talk ?” Sophie asked. “No wonder he’s crazy !!”

“Excuse me, Phoebe is a ‘she’,” Anya defended. “She’s a girl on the inside, and calling her a boy is  rude !! That would be like someone calling you a boy, even though you’re a girl.”

“Well, I have girl parts, and when I grow up, I’m going to have woman parts,” Sophie claimed. “I’m going to look like a woman, and he’s always going to look like a man !!”

Katsuki grabbed onto Sophie’s arm and shook her head.

“Sophie, I think you’re being a little too mean -”

Sophie swatted her hand away and scowled at her best friend.

“Shut up, Katsuki, who’s side are you even on ?”

“Who told you that ?” Taffeta asked.

“Miss Queen and Whitney,” Sophie answered. “And I think they’re right. None of you will ever be as pretty as us.”

She pointed at Taffeta.

“You’ll always be a bird face,”

Then at Anya.

“And you’ll always be a feral dog person.”

Anya reached forward to bite at Sophie’s finger again, before Sophie gasped and  hid her  hand .

“And Phoebe or whatever his name is, will always be a boy. Deal with it.”

She turned on her heel and grabbed Katsuki’s wrist before she yanked the girl away with her.

“I don’t get why they’re so mean,” Taffeta sighed. “And I can’t believe they made fun of Mister Lars like that too. It’s not his fault that he can’t hear, and it’s not Phoebe’s fault that her body’s a little different.”

“They’re stupid,” Anya stated. “They better not come back over her, because I’m gonna start swinging.”

Soon, Jane and Bea returned with the hot cocoa and candy, which they handed to the girls.

“Were those a few friends from  school ? ” Jane asked.

“Not really,” Taffeta answered.

Bea squinted in the general direction of them before she looked to Jane.

“Those were two of the girls that were picking on our girls,” Bea corrected. “And their parents. Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they’re lovely people, but they raised awful kids.”

Jane squinted at them too before she settled back in her seat, she scanned the room again, before she jumped at another sight. A.’s absolutely crazy ex – girlfriend, Fannie Martinelli. Her brain connected the dots, as she remembered there was a girl in the six – year - old group named ‘Comet Martinelli’. Luckily, poor Comet didn’t have a lick of Willoughby in her appearance or else A. would’ve had a big storm coming. Comet did kind of look like Troy . . .

The lights flickered again as Randy rushed back with the boys and Lars followed suit.

“Sorry we took so long,” Randy apologized. “There was a huge  fuu – ‘effing line at the bathroom.”

Lars took out his phone, turned the volume lower out of courtesy, and typed something into it.

“Phoebe wanted Celeste to help her out, but I am on standby in case it gets a bit out of hand.”

“Well, you five are back just in time,” Bea claimed. “The talent portion is about to start.”

The talent portion soon started for the three – year –  olds , and as before, it was kind of a garbage fire, due to how sleepy most of them were, and the ones that their parent jacked up on Angel Kiss Cola and Lickety – Twists were on an even more unforgiving, ravenous, hellbent sugar crash.

What Sophie said, about both Phoebe and Lars didn’t sit well with her. She tugged on his faux fur jacket in order to get his attention, in which she did.

“Mister Lars, the girls that pick on us at school came by earlier,” Taffeta whispered. “They made fun of you, because you can’t hear.”

He snickered softly to himself and brought out his phone again, before he turned it as low as it could go, and typed something in before he put the speaker to Taffeta’s ear.

“Let them say whatever they want about me; what am I going to  do ? Hear  them ? Things like that don’t bother me. If they’re making fun of me, I’m sure they could look in the mirror and find plenty of things to make fun of.”

Taffeta smiled at his positivity. Maybe that’s the way she should look at their current situation. If Sophie, Whitney, and Katsuki wanted to make fun of them – that's only because the only other people they can make fun of is themselves, and they were simply too proud to make fun of themselves, but too insecure to be happy with who they are.

She smiled to him.

“Thank you.”

He rustled her hair and nodded.

The talent portion continued, with most of the talents being singing, dancing, or playing an instrument  ( but one girl absolutely killed it on the  kazoo ) . Whitney, of course, with the basic feminine talent of ballet dancing, and as much as Jane, Lars, and the Wolfes didn’t want to admit it, she was very graceful with  the way she danced.

Lastly of the five – year – old division, Phoebe came out with a wooden slate and a burning tool, before she ended up burning a pattern of a tulip into the wood. Tensions were high as a few of the judges coughed at the smoke that came off the wood, and some parents in the crowd coughed and shielded their noses, as well as younger family members.

Eventually Phoebe turned off the tool to reveal her work, and earned claps from the crowd, but nobody could really tell if they were actual good claps or claps out of pity, because there sure was a lot of coughing that came from a lot of people.

Maybe this wasn’t the best talent to showcase  **_ inside  _ ** of a building.

The pageant went through their last category before the crowning, where they had another intermission.

Bea reached over and squeezed Lars’ shoulder before she gave him an apologetic smile.

“Hey, she did great,” Bea reassured. “That’s all she can do. Even if it wasn’t what the judges were entirely looking for, you should be proud of her.”

“Not every girl can handle a wood burner like that,” Randy encouraged. “She’s going to be kicking some ass left and right.”

“It was definitely one of the most unique talents here,” Jane claimed. “I mean, out of seeing the same routine for ‘The Nutcracker’ over and over again, wood burning has got to get her something. Don’t they have a crown for the ‘Most Unique ’ ? ”

Celeste finally returned from backstage and she took a deep breath in before she straightened the wrinkles in her dress. She took her spot next to Lars, before she reached over and held his hand. They signed something to  eachother , but Celeste didn’t translate, so it was definitely a private conversation. From the looks of it, it had to have been about both of them being nervous for Phoebe.

The lights flickered again before everyone settled in their seats to watch who was getting crowned. All groups went out on the stage, with some of the younger kids being carried by their moms, due to being either asleep, or falling asleep. Miss Tinsley joined them all with a stack of envelopes.

“Well, wasn’t that a show, folks ?” Miss Tinsley asked. “First, we’ll be sashing each kid in their categories for their individual group awards, then we’ll move onto the Supreme crowns, but don’t feel bad if your daughter doesn’t get a crown or a sash – there are no losers here.”

Miss Tinsley opened the first envelope, before she cleared her throat.

“Voted ‘Best Smile’ from the judges in our ‘Tiny  Miss’ category, we have Summer Holland. Voted ‘Best Outfit of Choice’ by our judges in our ‘Tiny  Miss’ category, we have Daria  Postibule . Voted ‘Best Hair’ by our judges in our ‘Tiny  Miss’ category, we have Inez Munch. Voted ‘Best Eyes’ by our judges in our ‘Tiny  Miss’ category, we have Kiara Davidson – Jones. Last, but certainly not least, voted ‘Most Unique’ by our judges in our ‘Tiny  Miss’ category Stephanie Martinez.”

Some of the assistants came out with little sashes that they handed to the mothers, or the few toddlers that were still awake, before they were escorted off stage by the assistants, as that meant they didn’t qualify for any of the participation medals, or trophies and crowns. Families of the little girls cheered and  congratulated the kids from the seats, while other people clapped out of politeness.

Miss Tinsley discarded that envelope, before she tore open the next one.

“Voted ‘Best Smile’ by our judges in our ‘Little  Miss’ category, we have Octavia Spencer – Lane. Voted ‘Best Outfit of Choice’ by our judges in our ‘Little  Miss’ category, we have Marisol Hernandez. Voted ‘Best Hair’ by the judges in our ‘Little  Miss’ category, we have Haven Murphy -”

“But her weave is fake !!” One of the girls, assumably little miss Taylor Magic, pointed out. “I watched her momma clip it in her hair  backstage !! It’s fake  hair !! Mine’s all natural, baby !!”

Taylor’s poor  embarrassed mother pulled her daughter back and put her hand on her mouth, before she mouthed ‘I’m so sorry’ at both Haven’s mom and Miss Tinsley.

Fortunately, most of the crowd found the little outburst more funny than rude, as a good couple laughs came from most of the people in the crowd, the  Vinderstromm –  McMilks , the Wolfes, and the Willoughby girls included.

Miss Tinsley finished giggling to herself before she looked at the card again and went back to reading as nothing happened.

“Voted ‘Best Eyes’ by our judges in the ‘Little  Miss’ category, we have Lillianna Yang. And last, voted ‘Most Unique’ by our judges in our ‘Little  Miss’ category, we have  MacKenzie Louis.”

Jane leaned over to Bea as the sashes were being passed out.

“I’m glad Kazoo Girl got ‘Most Unique’,” Jane whispered.

“Yeah,” Bea agreed. “That girl totally deserved it. ‘Canon in D’ but on a  kazoo ? ”

Miss Tinsley discarded the card and went to the next one.

Randy put his arm around Bea and pulled her in close, before he reached for Celeste’s hand. Lars had his arm around Celeste’s waist, before he felt Taffeta grab onto his arm. Anya pulled Taffeta into a hug. Then Jane felt Bea’s hand grab her own. They were all on edge, as they realized this might be Phoebe’s last shot at winning something, because it was nearly unheard of for a first timer to win a Supreme crown.

“Voted ‘Best Smile’ by our judges in our ‘Princess’ category, we have Frederika Malcolm. Voted ‘Best Outfit of Choice’ by our judges in our ‘Princess’ category, we have Kendra Peterson. Voted ‘Best Hair’ by our judges in our ‘Princess’ category, we have Starla Barraco. Voted ‘Best Eyes’ by our judges in our ‘Princess’ category, we have Nadia Sinclair. Lastly, voted ‘Most Unique’ by our judges in the ‘Princess’ category, we have Lola Harvey.”

Breaths were only held more, before Celeste was the first one to let out a sigh of defeat. She sat down, before most of the friends joined her. Anya went in front of her before she grabbed Celeste by the cheeks.

“Hey, maybe this just means that there’s something different for Phoebe,” Anya encouraged. “She might even get a crown !!”

“And if she doesn’t there’s always next time,” Taffeta soothed. “Phoebe can always try again.”

“Yeah, if she really liked this one, this doesn’t mean it’s time to throw in the towel,” Jane agreed. “Just because she didn’t win this time, doesn’t mean that it’s time to quit. Don’t get your head down yet.”

The six – year –  olds breezed by, and they didn’t really pay attention to who won, and it seemed that Celeste and Lars didn’t really want to stay for the Supremes either. The friends continued to comfort the two parents as Miss Tinsley opened the last envelope for the supreme titles.

“Voted by our judges for our overall Mini – Supreme, we have Ashley Watson – Lee,” Miss Tinsley announced.

Jane heard the loud shriek of happiness come from Megan, and the cheering of ‘That’s my girl !!’. Normally, she would find Megan’s voice obnoxious, before she realized, she couldn’t find the screams of an overjoyed mother obnoxious. These screams and cheers get a pass, just this once.

“Voted by our judges for our overall Supreme crown, we have . . . hang on ?”

Miss Tinsley swept her bangs from her face before she squinted at the card.

The Willoughby girls, Wolfes, and  Vinderstromm –  McMilks looked up in confusion at Miss Tinsley’s confusion.

Miss Tinsley, still with a  flabbergasted look, cleared her throat before she read the card.

“We have . . . Phoebe Vinderstromm.”

“ Wait ?”  What ? ” Celeste asked. “Did she say what I think she said ?”

“ Yes !! Yes !!” Anya shrieked at the top of her lungs.

“You go, queen !!” Taffeta shouted alongside her best friend.

“Oh my god, Lars !!” Celeste exclaimed. “She got Supreme !!”

They brought over the sash, trophy, and crown to Phoebe who squealed and giggled in complete and utter euphoria at the excitement of her friends and family, screaming and cheering for her, probably the loudest from the crowd, but the excitement was soon cut short.

“What ?”

It was Whitney.

“ _ Phoebe gets a  _ **_ crown _ ** ? ” Whitney asked. “ _ This isn’t  _ **_ fair _ ** **** !! _ I don’t even get a sash, and this transgendered  _ **_ freak  _ ** _ gets a  _ **_ crown  _ ** ? _ That’s right, you guys heard  _ _ me _ !! _ Phoebe Vinder – whatever is a  _ **_ boy  _ ** !! _ I’ll  _ **_ prove  _ ** _ it to you _ !!”

She began to stomp over to where Phoebe was, before Miss Tinsley rushed over to stop her.

“Young lady, you need to stand in your spot !!”

“ _ Move out of my way, you old  _ **_ hag  _ ** !!”

Whitney finally approached Phoebe, who flinched at the sight of her, before she yelped at the feeling of her tights being pulled to her ankles.

Many people in the crowd gasped, and Lars held Celeste back before the situation escalated into something too un – Christmas like.

Many people started to whisper among themselves, because, even though nothing was showing and Phoebe’s dress covered everything, Whitney still slandered the LGBTQ+ community, and  pantsed a child in public.

Then the most peculiar thing happened . . . Phoebe started  **_ laughing _ ** .

“ _ What’s so  _ _ funny _ ? ” Whitney asked. “ **_ You should be ashamed of yourself _ ** !!”

Phoebe shook her head and started to point and laugh at Whitney, who angrily blushed back at her.

“You  _ idiot  _ !! You can’t  _ pants _ __ someone who’s not wearing  _ pants  _ !!”


	18. Emotional Aurora

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟 :

𝔼𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝔸𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕣𝕒

◟ ◞

“That was amazing, Phoebe !!” Anya exclaimed. “You got a crown and Whitney didn’t !!”

“Whitney didn’t even get a sash !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “I can’t believe, finally, one of us did something that Whitney  couldn’t !! I never thought it was even possible !!”

“I wish we could stay the night at your house, so we could look at your trophy,” Anya said. “It’s so big . . . and shiny.”

“Well . . . it isn’t a school night,” Celeste commented. “I wouldn’t mind hosting a sleepover. Maybe Lars and Randy can go and get us some boneless wings and fries from Wingding Kitchen.”

She batted her eyes at Lars, who rose an eyebrow at her and folded his arms.

“Come on, babe, it’s a special night,” Celeste begged. “Phoebe got a trophy from her first pageant.”

“And, Lars, my man, it gives us an opportunity to stay over at my place and watch the wrestling match,” Randy added. “If we’re fast, we can make it back to my place by the time the main event’s on !!”

“Finally !!” Damien groaned. “Now we can get into our pajamas and actually do boy stuff for the night !!”

“The collar of this shirt is strangling me !!” Connor exclaimed.

He loosened his tie before he took a relieved breath out.

“I’ll do you one better,” Hamish claimed.

He untied his tie, before he popped all the buttons from his shirt and untucked the button up from his slack, before he spread his arms out and started to walk backwards and gave his brothers a look of ‘Are you guys chickens or are you going to join me ?’.

“ Ew , Hamish !!” Anya exclaimed. “Not in front of my friends !!”

“Your brother’s cold !!” Phoebe laughed, before she pointed at his chest.

“Hamish Emery, you button your shirt back up !!” Bea scolded. “You’re going to get sick !!”

He muttered to himself before he started to button his shirt back up. 

“Yeah, wouldn’t it be fun for you to have your first sleepover,  Taff ?” Jane asked.

“A sleepover ?” Taffeta asked. “That’s going to be so fun !!”

“We’re going to have so much fun !!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“Since the girls are having a sleepover, and the guys are watching their wrestling match, why don’t we have a sleepover ?” Celeste asked. “Come on, Bea, it’s been  awhile since we’ve had one of our own.”

Jane furrowed her eyebrows as they talked about having a sleepover – she was fine with Taffeta staying over, because that’s what kids do. She had sleepovers all the way up until she was out of  highschool , but she’s never had one outside of her teen years. It didn’t feel like something adults did anymore, though the idea was super intriguing.

She shook her head.

What if Tim came home ?

She needed to be there in case he did.

It was fine that Taffeta was out of the house, then she wouldn’t have to sleep near them while they were fighting. It was good to get her out of that  environment for  awhile , and refresh how being an actual kid felt.

“Come on, Jane, do you want to have a sleepover  too ? ” Bea asked.

“But we’re like . . . in our  _ thirties _ ,” Jane reminded. “What are we even going to do at a sleepover ?”

“Have you never had a sleepover before ?” Bea giggled.

“Well, not since I was in  highschool , and that was almost fifteen years ago,” Jane claimed.

“What do you remember from your  highschool sleepovers ?” Celeste asked.

“We did  eachother’s hair and makeup, facials, nails, took pictures for Pictogram,” Jane reminisced. “My mom always brought us pizza. We rented movies, talked until the sun rose.”

“It’s that, but instead of being  highschool girls, we’re in our late twenties, early thirties,” Bea claimed. “Come on, old timer. It’ll be fun !!”

“I don’t know,” Jane claimed. “If Tim comes home . . .”

“What’s wrong with you not being  there ? ” Celeste asked. “Does he expect you to have his slippers warmed and a hot meal  cooked for him, regardless of what time he comes  home ? ”

Jane knew Celeste was only joking, but she didn’t laugh.

“Don’t deny yourself fun because of him,” Bea insisted. “He’ll be fine.”

“I just want to know if he gets home safe,” Jane claimed.

“I have windows,” Celeste teased. “You can always look out of them to see, we’re right next door.”

She thought to herself for a moment, before she recognized – yeah, she did deserve a little night to herself. After all the things that had been going on, she deserved to have one night where she wasn’t worried about Tim and his selfish whims.

She gave Bea and Celeste a smile.

“I mean, I guess I could, just for one night,” Jane agreed. “I - It’s not like he needs me at home when he’s not even there.”

To be fair, she didn’t know even if he was going to be home that night. It was the weekend, and he might be halfway to Syracuse, high off of coke and amphetamines, while downing a mix of Sugar Skull energy drinks and vodka at the moment. Let’s get this straight, that’s not what she wanted to happen, it’s what she expected – and those are two very different things. She knew she had to prepare herself, not for what she wanted, but for what she expected. It would break her if he got arrested, hurt, or worse – she didn’t want to break such horrible news to Taffeta about her poppa, but if she had to . . .

“See, just one night, where you don’t have to worry about all the garbage that’s going on with your regular life !!” Bea exclaimed. “You deserve it.”

“Yeah,” Jane agreed. “What’s one night going to do ?”

“We’ll meet you guys back at the house !!” Celeste called.

“See you in a minute !!” Bea called.

Jane split off to her car, so she could help Taffeta inside.

“Miss Bea and Mister Randy have a really big van,” Taffeta commented. “Or is it an S.U.V ?”

“S.U.V,” Jane corrected. “Their car holds seven or eight people, while a van can hold up to nine people.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of people,” Taffeta said.

“Well, they have a big family, six people,” Jane claimed. “We only need a car, because it’s just you, me, and poppa.”

“What if you and poppa have more  babies ? ” Taffeta asked. “I want a baby sister, or a baby brother.”

Jane soon got into the driver’s seat, where she buckled her seatbelt, turned the car on, turned the heater up, and turned the radio on so they could listen to Christmas music on the way back home.

“I hate to break it to you,  Taff ,” Jane started. “You’re going to be the only kid in this family. Your poppa and I don’t want  any more kids.”

“Why  not ? ” Taffeta pouted.

“It would be a long and hard process for us to have more,” Jane claimed. “And besides, we like our family with just you – adding a baby would be too much, and think of it this way, we wouldn’t be able to have as much fun with you, because we’d have to pay a lot of attention to the new baby. We wouldn’t be able to do things like this, because babies are usually asleep by this time.”

“ Oh ? ” Taffeta inquired.

“Babies are a lot of hard work,  Taff ,” Jane said. “You’re easy to take care of, because I don’t have to bathe you, or change your diapers anymore.  It’s fun having kids, it’s not fun having babies.”

That wasn’t completely true. Jane did love when Taffeta was a baby, and she loved being pregnant. Looking back, being pregnant was easy, the hard part was taking care of this new, little person that didn’t know how to do anything by herself, all the time, every waking hour of the day  ( until she had to go back to work, then Patience offered to babysit for them until Taffeta went to  school ) . That didn’t mean she hated when Taffeta was a baby, she missed when her little wall eyes had to adjust and look around, she missed when she’d sit on the counter with Tim, she missed the cute little baby babble when she found out she could talk too – don't even get her started about the time that Taffeta said ‘poppa’ for the first time.

She found Tim curled up, crying, in their bed, because of how happy he was to hear her say his name.

It was honestly pretty damn adorable.

She pulled out of the parking lot, and it took longer to get out of the parking lot than it did to get back home. Once they were at home, Tim’s car was still gone, and Jane sighed at the sight. The most she could hope for is that he was still in town, because she didn’t want to get a call from Rochester, from Tim, asking her to come get him because he totaled his car.

“So, let’s go get our toothbrushes, pajamas, and all that stuff, before we head over to the  Vinderstromm’s house,” Jane instructed. “I’ll feed and check on the cats while you get your things.”

“Okay momma,” Taffeta said.

Jane helped Taffeta get inside, before she checked the box to see there were only two kittens in the box, when there should’ve been four. She then turned to see Mortimer, carrying both Dot and Ebenezer in her mouth, before she plopped them both in and settled, with the two little risk takers under her paws. At least she knew the kittens were all safe and sound. She went to the cabinet where they kept the cat food, before she scooped a cup of cat food out to go and fill Smokey’s bowl for the night. She repeated the process with Mortimer and Grandpa’s bowls. At least she knew they were fed, and their shared water bowl was full, so she didn’t have to depend on Tim to do it the next morning.

Jane went upstairs to get her toothbrush, a backpack that she used on lighter trips, as well as a change of clothes, and pajamas. She looked to see that both Smokey and Grandpa decided to settle in the window seat for the night, and hoped that they would both stay there for the night, because if Tim came home, she doubted that he would care whether or not they were on the bed, before he eventually crashed on the bed.

She hoped he’d come home.

She worried about him.

Eventually, Taffeta came into the master bedroom, with her little bag packed.

“Are you ready for the sleepover, momma ?” she asked.

Jane picked her bag up from the bed, before she nodded. She followed Taffeta down the stairs, before they both made their way to the  Vinderstromm –  McMilk household. The door was cracked open, before Jane entered, and Taffeta followed suit, before she ran to the kitchen, where Phoebe was on a bar stool as Celeste plucked the ponytail extensions and such from her hair. Anya stood next to Bea, as she chatted with Phoebe about how it felt to win a trophy and be considered the second prettiest girl in the pageant.

“Are you girls ready for the sleepover ?” Taffeta asked.

Phoebe cringed at the feeling of the last clip being taken out of her hair before she gently pushed Celeste’s hand away from her head.

“Do you want to pause for now ?” Celeste asked.

“Yes, please, mom,” Phoebe agreed. “I want to go and show Taffeta and Anya my trophy.”

“Okay, run along,” Celeste said. “We can take out the bobby pins in an hour or so.”

“What’s wrong, Jane ?” Bea asked. “You haven’t looked away from the window ever since you got here.”

“I’m worried about Tim,” she answered.

“Yeah, I saw that his car wasn’t there when we got back,” Celeste said. “ But, he should be home soon, am I  right ? He’s probably just stacked up with all that paperwork – he's an esquire for  Melanoff’s Candy Factory, isn’t  he ? It’s a big company and -”

“No, it’s not that,” Jane sighed.

“Then, what is  it ? ” Bea asked. “Your mind seems preoccupied.”

“It’s . . . It’s nothing,” Jane answered. “It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”

“Everyone’s a little stupid,” Celeste laughed. “ But, whatever’s gotten you so wrapped up can’t be that stupid, if you’re sitting here on a  ladies night, so wrapped up in it. Care to share ?”

“I don’t know if you guys want to hear,” Jane claimed. “I just don’t want you guys to think any differently of me, or Taffeta, or even Tim.”

“Ooo, does he have a lady  friend ? ” Bea asked.

“Or a boyfriend !!” Celeste added. “Having a boyfriend’s nothing to be ashamed of – I had my fair share of lady friends before I met Lars.”

“I wish I could say the same,  but, I knew Randy was the one when we first met, even if he is ten years older than me,” Bea claimed. “We make it work.”

Jane let off a laugh at how loose they both were. It showed her that her two neighbors, one being the teen model sensation  ( well , more mom model sensation  nowadays ) , and the other with some sort of mystery job that still terrified Jane, even though she wasn’t sure of what he was.

“No, it’s not that,” Jane claimed. 

“Did you guys do the devil’s  tango ? ” Bea asked. “And now you’re madly in love, but can’t show it to a cruel, unforgiving world, so therefore, you constantly worry that someone on the outside of your house will find out about this perfect, yet forbidden romance ?”

Jane gagged at that, before Celeste hit a snickering Bea on the shoulder.

“You really have to stop reading those harlequin romance novels,” Celeste scolded. “I think they’re starting to screw with your head. It’s obviously not that – right, Jane ?”

“Uhm, yeah,” Jane agreed. “It’s definitely not that.”

“Then, tell us about it, stud,” Celeste encouraged.

“Well, so . . . I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud . . .” Jane started.

She really couldn’t, because normally, she thought of this being their business, and their business alone, but it was getting exhausting to hold it all in. She was at a sleepover, and sleepovers were made to be complained at, besides, it wasn’t like she’d ever received any ill judgement from Bea and Celeste over the years.

“So, since he was about seventeen, Tim’s struggled with drinking and . . . cocaine,” Jane sighed. “For  awhile , he was doing super good – like amazing. He had a few hiccups in the road, but for the most part, he was doing good.”

“He relapsed, didn’t  he ? ” Celeste asked.

Jane felt tears come to her eyes, before she rested her face in her hands. She didn’t cry, at least, not audibly. More streaky mascara tears came down her face.

“Hey, hey,” Bea soothed. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jane. It’s not your fault. A lot of people go through these kinds of problems.”

“It’s a smaller world than you think,” Celeste claimed.

She took Jane’s glasses from her before she started to clean them in the sink, with water and a paper towel, so the mascara didn’t stain the lenses. 

“I’m sorry, I know it’s a lot to hear -” Jane apologized.

“Don’t be sorry,” Bea said. “Look, I know how it feels to be in your shoes. For the longest time, Randy was a pack a day smoker. I mean, it’s not the same, but when cancer runs through the family, and he has four kids of his own, he needs to be here for them. We’ve even had scares because he’d cough up blood. Doesn’t help that he’s asthmatic. I love him, and I care about him, but it’s exhausting. I never wanted our kids to hear us fight over it, but eventually, the boys found out. He’s cut back, and he only smokes about three times a day, but still . . . I want my husband here, even if he irritates the hell out of me with his disgusting smoking habit.”

“Being young and famous really does things to you,” Celeste stated. “I was out at parties all the time, and I’ve tried almost every drug known to man at this point, but my vice, for a very, very long time was heroin. The way it made me feel – I felt like I was on top of the world when I was high. My mom didn’t know until one day, I nearly overdosed on the ground of our bathroom. I think that’s what started a rift in my parents’ marriage, regardless of if they want to admit it. My mom was ready to throw me out, and I don’t blame her, and my dad kept sending me to rehab and therapy between modeling gigs. It was hard on them . . .”

“I love Tim, I really do. He’s my partner,” Jane sighed. “It’s just hard, because he’s unpredictable when he’s . . . you  know ? It makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want anything to happen to Taffeta. I care so much about our kid, but he’s . . . he means so much to me, and I can’t just leave him. He needs me.”

“Taffeta needs you too,” Celeste reminded. “Sure, Tim’s super important to you, and he could sure use the help, but your daughter is the one that truly needs you.”

“We’re those kids’ mommies,” Bea said. “They need us more than anyone. Think of it this way, it would be hard for Taffeta to lose her dad, it would be hard for you to lose Tim, but if both you and Tim were taken out of her life, it would be hardest on her, because she lost the two most irreplaceable people to her. We can’t speak to  Tim, at least, not now, but we can at least try to reach out to you.”

“Tim’s important,” Celeste agreed. “But to Taffeta, you are too. She needs at least one of her parents to pull through.”

“ I . . . I love . . .” she paused to sniffed. “I care about him so much.”

“We know you do,” Bea soothed. “But you need to care about you too, even if you can’t care about yourself for yourself – care about yourself for Taffeta, because she needs you.”

“Hey,” Celeste whispered.

Jane shivered as she felt a hand touch her back. Chills ran through her body and she felt sobs finally escape her throat. She buried her face in her hands as she leaned onto the countertop.

Both Bea and Celeste put their arms around her and ran their fingers down her back, on her arms, through her hair, along the nape of her neck – wherever they could place a gentle, caring touch, they did.

“It’s okay to cry,” Bea mumbled.

“We’re here for you,” Celeste said.

“We’re friends, Jane,” Bea said. “Friends help  eachother , even on the bad days.”

Jane took her arms out from under her face, before she pulled Bea and Celeste into a hug. It had been a very long time since she had girlfriends, like actual girlfriends. Sure, she talked to her coworkers a little bit, both inside and outside of work, but they never knew the deep, dark labyrinth maze that was her life. It seemed like the first time in a very long time, she had someone there to talk to, someone there that really cared about how she, as a person, felt.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

That’s all that needed to be said.

The front door opened, before the smell of wings and waffle fries filled the front of the house.

“Wing delivery !!” Randy shouted.

Tiny little pitter- pattered footsteps came from down the stairs as all three of the girls  ( with all of Lars and Celeste’s poor cats dressed up in doll  clothes ) ,

“ Wiiiings !!” Anya exclaimed.

She put one of the two naked Sphynx cats down once she followed Randy into the kitchen.

Phoebe followed suit, putting two furry cats down before she went to the dining room table and sat down at one of the four chairs at the wooden table.

“Come on, sit down,” Phoebe coaxed.

“After this, can we go get in our  pajamas ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Then we can get all comfy,” Anya agreed.

He placed one of the two giant bags onto the countertop, before he put his hands on his hips.

“Whoa, did we come at a bad time ?” he asked, upon seeing Jane’s face.

“Oh, hush your mouth, Randall Wolfe,” Bea scolded.

“Are you  gonna make me ?” he asked.

Bea let go of Jane, before she pulled her husband into a kiss.

“Aren’t you guys missing your wrestling  match ? ” Celeste asked  ( as she signed for Lars ).

“Ah shit, you’re right,” Randy said.

“Randy, not in front of the girls !!” Bea scolded again.

He scoffed at Bea’s little scolding, before he put his arm around Lars and lead the other man out of the house, so they could basically have their own guys sleepover.

“What color do you think they’ll paint  eachother’s nails ? ” Bea teased.

“Randy is definitely a pretty princess pink kind of guy,” Celeste joked. “Hey, Jane, if you want to wash your face, our bathroom is upstairs, first door you see. I can serve the girls while you clean up.”

“Thanks,” Jane said.

She left the kitchen and walked up the stairs. Her nails lightly scratched along the wooden railing, before she made it to the top of the stairs and went into the door that stood right in front of her. She shut the door behind herself and locked it, so nobody  accidentally walked in on her.

She turned the faucet on and let the water warm up before she looked at her phone. It was almost ten o’clock, and still no sign of Tim. As much as she didn’t want to feel it, and as much as she wanted to take Bea and Celeste’s advice to use this night for herself; she couldn’t stop this worried ache from growing in her chest.

She placed her phone on the counter, before she pumped a few squirts of the soap next to the sink in her hand, lathered the soap until it bubbled and foamed, before she scrubbed her face with the suds that formed from the soap.

Once she was done, she rinsed her face off, before she used one of the decorative towels to dry her face off. Well, this was a first – she didn’t think Bea and Celeste had ever seen her without makeup on, even if it really wasn’t a lot.

She looked back at her phone. She couldn’t fight the urge anymore. She picked up her phone and unlocked it, before she went to her text messages with Tim  ( and they hadn’t texted for weeks – the last text conversation seemed to be a sober one, full of emojis, cheer up cat memes, and grocery lists . . . she missed those talks. ).

She typed in one, little message, as quickly as she could, so she didn’t have to stare at her phone any longer than she already had. Once she was done, she sent it, and turned off the screen.

“I miss you.”


	19. Pillow Fort Bungalow

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 ℕ𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟  :

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝔽𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕨

◟ ◞

Taffeta slid under the entrance to the little pillow fort she, Anya, and Phoebe made, before she turned on the crank flashlight that Phoebe found in Lars’ indoor tool bucket. They had all changed into their pajamas – Anya in a blue night gown, Phoebe in silky soft green button up pajamas, and Taffeta in her usual grey and white starred footie pajamas.

“So, how about them wings ?” Anya asked.

“I’m stuffed !!” Phoebe exclaimed. “I haven’t  ate that much since my dad’s parents sent over some sweets from Gothenberg.”

“Is that in  Sveetzerlund ?” Taffeta asked.

“Do you mean ‘Switzerland’ ?” Phoebe asked.

“My parents said it’s pronounced ‘ Sveetzerlund ’,” Taffeta corrected. “They’ve been there, they’d know.”

“My  dad’s from Sweden,” Phoebe argued. “That’s really close to it, and he says it’s pronounced as ‘Switzerland’.”

“Your dad doesn’t talk,” Taffeta corrected. “How would you know ?”

“I just know,  okay ? ” Phoebe declared.

“He talks with his hands, Taffeta,” Anya claimed. “Geez, catch up.”

“What do you think your brothers are doing ?” Taffeta asked. “What do you think happens at boy sleepovers ?”

“They’re probably farting, a  **_ lot _ ** ,” Anya  emphasized .

She blew a raspberry before she started to laugh at the noise.

All three girls giggled at the noise that was close to a fart, before they blew raspberries themselves, and laughed at the amount of noise they made. They wiped their faces off, as during the raspberry blowing, they had managed to spit all over  eachother .

“What do you think your poppa’s doing at  work ? ” Phoebe asked Taffeta.

“ I . . . I don’t think he’s actually at work,” Taffeta answered. “Something  weird’s going on at my house.”

“Weird  how ? ” Anya asked. “Is he an  alien ? Oh my gosh, if he’s an alien, Damien was right -”

“I don’t think so,” Taffeta said. “The other day, I got up because I couldn’t sleep, so I went downstairs and played with my poppa’s record player for a little bit, because the music is really nice when I’m taking a nap and he’s working, but he came home really late.”

“Maybe he went to talk to the alien  overlords ? ” Anya inquired.

“She just said that he’s not an alien, Anya,” Phoebe reminded.

“But what if he  is ? ” Anya asked.

“I don’t think he’s an alien,” Taffeta stated. “But he got home really late the other night, and he was acting really weird.”

“Like . . . alien  weird ? ” Anya asked.

Phoebe shoved Anya’s shoulder before she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Stop talking about the alien thing !!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“Fine,” Anya sighed.

“Like, he sounded like he was asleep when he was driving, even though I know you can’t sleep and drive,” Taffeta started. “Then he and my momma yelled at  eachother , and he made my momma cry, but then he tried to tell her that he was sorry, but she was still really upset about him yelling at her, then they laid down together, and he ended up falling asleep . . . he also smelled like perfume, and I know he doesn’t really use perfume unless he’s going to work, but even then,  he smelled like girl perfume.”

“Do you think he has a girlfriend, and maybe he used her perfume before he came back  home ? ” Phoebe asked. “If he has a girlfriend, that means you’ll have two moms, like Sophie.”

“I don’t want two mommas !!” Taffeta whined. “I like having my momma and my poppa, I don’t need another momma !!”

“Maybe he doesn’t have a girlfriend ?” Anya suggested. “Maybe he was drinking perfume and it made him  sick ? I drank some of my mommy’s perfume once and I had to go to the hospital because it made me really sick, so they had to make me throw it all up – it was gross.”

“He didn’t need to go to the hospital either,” Taffeta stated. “It was just, really weird.”

“Maybe he just wanted to show your momma that he loves her ?” Phoebe asked.

“But then, why would she be so  upset ? ” Taffeta asked. “She mentioned something about him being ‘drunk’, and that seemed to make her really upset. I don’t really know why.”

“Oh, it’s a bad thing when grownups are drunk,” Anya claimed. “Me and my brothers normally stay with my mamma and  poppop when my parents go to parties, because they get drunk, and it isn’t safe to drive home when people are drunk.”

“But, my poppa isn’t bad,” Taffeta whimpered.

“No, no, I don’t think he’s bad,” Anya reassured. “It’s just normally pretty bad when grownups are drunk, and maybe your momma was mad that he drove back home drunk ?”

“You can get hurt when that happens,” Phoebe said. “I saw it on a commercial once. Drunk driving can cause car accidents, and a lot of people can get hurt.”

“I don’t want him to get hurt !!” Taffeta cried.

“Maybe he isn’t drunk tonight ?” Phoebe asked. “Then he won’t drive drunk.”

“I hope not !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “I don’t want him or a lot of other people to get hurt !!”

“Well, maybe, like Phoebe said, maybe he isn’t,” Anya said. “I don’t think he’d want to hurt himself either, because it’s boring in the hospital for grownups.  There’s no toys, or fish tanks – when I drank my mommy’s perfume, all there was in the room was a T.V and it only played grownup shows. It was so boring.”

“I hope he comes home tonight,” Taffeta sighed.

“Maybe he might be having a sleepover at someone else’s  house ? ” Phoebe asked.

“I don’t know who’s house he’d be at,” Taffeta said. “He doesn’t really have a lot of friends outside of my uncles, and your dads.”

“Maybe it’s a new friend that you haven’t met  yet ? ” Anya asked.

“I haven’t heard him talk about anyone new yet,” Taffeta claimed. “He normally tells us about his day, and the people he talks to at work – he doesn’t like a lot of people at his work, he thinks they’re all idiots, especially this boring guy named Rick that works in Marketing.”

“Well, then maybe your momma might be  right ? ” Phoebe inquired. “He could just be working really late. Sometimes, my mom works for a few weeks, and it’s just me and my dad here for  awhile – it's a little hard on him, and sometimes I have to go to my dad’s woodwork business and watch him make bookshelves and tables for awhile. Sometimes he lets me paint the stuff he already built, so he can sell it, and I get paid for it.”

“ Ooo , how much money do you  get ? ” Anya asked.

“It’s like you have a grownup job !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

“Well, it depends on what I paint,” Phoebe explained. “I get about thirty dollars painting a chair. One time I painted a dresser and I got one hundred dollars !!”

“One hundred dollars ?” Anya gasped.

“That’s a lot of money !!” Taffeta agreed. “You could buy like . . . two ice cream cones with that money.”

“I’m saving it up,” Phoebe claimed. “I want to get a bass guitar, so I can learn to play. Maybe, one day, I could be in a band, and my band can play at like coffee shops, or at parties, like weddings.”

“Maybe we could be in a band !!” Anya exclaimed. “Damien knows how to play instruments, and when he’s in middle school, he wants to play the drums in the middle school marching band. He’s already practicing, maybe he could teach me how to do the drums too ?”

“My momma sings sometimes, and she says she knows how to play instruments,” Taffeta claimed. “She said that it was something she did all the time as a kid, but sometime she’d play or sing a little too loud and she’d get in trouble.”

“What would we even call our band ?” Anya asked. “Anya and her B.F.Fs ?”

“Who said you were going to be the  leader ? ” Phoebe asked. “It was  **_ my  _ ** idea !!”

“Fine,” Anya sighed. “What about Phoebe and her B. F.Fs ?”

“I don’t like that name,” Taffeta disagreed.

“Well, you’re not the leader of the band either,” Anya pointed out.

“What if we don’t put any of our names in the band name ?” Taffeta asked. “There’s a bunch of bands out there that don’t have people’s names in them, and they’re really good bands – like that one band named after bugs.”

“We’re not going to name ourselves after bugs, right ?” Phoebe asked.

“Aw, what’s wrong with bugs ?” Anya asked.

“They’re slimy and stinky !!” Phoebe exclaimed. “And they have too many legs.”

“But bugs are cool !!” Anya insisted.

“Okay, okay, we don’t have to name ourselves after bugs,” Taffeta claimed.

“What about ‘The Princesses’ ?” Phoebe asked.

“What kind of music would we  play ? ” Taffeta asked. “Normally instruments like drums and guitars are for rock music.”

“Well, why don’t we become a rock band ?” Anya asked. “But we can’t call ourselves ‘The Princesses’ if we’re a rock band. We need something super hardcore.”

“What about ‘Slaughterhouse’ ?” Phoebe asked. “It’s a movie my dad showed me where this big butcher guy killed a bunch of people, there was so much blood – it was super hardcore.”

“ Ew !!” Taffeta laughed. “Maybe we shouldn’t pick something with so much blood ?”

“And you got all freaked out over bugs !!” Anya pointed out.

“Blood and bugs are different !!” Phoebe stated.

“They’re both gross !!” Anya argued.

“Maybe our moms might have a good  idea ? ” Taffeta suggested.

“Yeah, they’re grownups, they have smart ideas,” Anya agreed.

“And they know cool words !!” Phoebe added.

The three girls shimmied and exited out from their pillow fort, before they went down the hallway to the stairs, and down the stairs to where their moms were sitting as they looked through the movies on their streaming service.

“Want to watch ‘Shark Week’ ?” Jane asked.

“The girls are still awake,” Celeste claimed. “I don’t want to watch any scary movies when they could just walk in on us.”

“Oh, have you guys watched ‘Around  The World  In Seven Shades ’ ? ” Bea asked.

“Isn’t that  about . . .” Jane whispered. “B.D.S.M ?”

“It’s romantic !!” Bea exclaimed.

“It’s  romanticizing a toxic relationship !!” Celeste argued.

“And it’s kind of gross . . .” Jane added.

“ Mom ? ” Phoebe was the first to speak up.

“Oh !!” Celeste exclaimed.

All three women turned around on the couch before the three girls shrieked and gasped in shock at their moms’ appearances. Bea’s face was a bubbly grey mess, while Jane’s was green, and Celeste’s was a bright, slimy blue. The girls hid their faces.

“Mommy, what happened to your  face ? ” Anya shouted.

“Oh my gosh, girls,” Celeste laughed. “Is this scaring you ?”

“Why is your face green, momma ?” Taffeta asked.

“It’s a face mask, girls,” Jane exclaimed. “It makes your skin nice and healthy.”

“I want slimy skin like your mom !!” Anya exclaimed, pulling on Phoebe’s arm.

“ Ew !!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“Why don’t you try the one I have on ?” Bea asked Phoebe. “It’s a bubble mask, and it forms little bubbles to get all the old skin off your face.”

“But I like my skin !!” Phoebe exclaimed. “I don’t want to get rid of it !!”

“No, your skin will still be there,” Jane explained. “But it will be clean. It cleans your skin.”

“Is that what your does,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Yup !!” Jane exclaimed. “It also makes my skin really smooth and gets rid of the wrinkles on my face.”

“But you don’t have a lot of wrinkles,” Taffeta pointed out. “Just the little ones under your eyes and in between your eyebrows.”

“Yeah, Jane,” Celeste commented. “I would kill to not have to go and get facial treatments for work. Do you understand what sitting with three people in a room, while they  criticize everything about your appearance, and then proceed to photoshop you to a point that’s almost  unrecognizable ? ”

“If that’s what work’s like for you, why don’t you  quit ? ” Jane asked.

“Someone’s got to bring home the bacon,” Celeste said. “You’d know that better than anyone. You own a business.”

“Both Tim and Lars work,” Jane claimed. “Lars could totally help pay for the house when you aren’t working.”

“Do you think that woodwork would pay for this house ?” Celeste asked. “I like the life I’ve created for myself, and it’s hard to live here in New York City, in a house like this, without a well - paying job. Mortgage rates are through the  freakin ’  _ roof _ .”

“Bea, how do you pay for the  house ? ” Jane asked.

“Four - oh – one – K account,” Bea claimed.

Jane shivered at the reminder of Bea’s old job. She still wasn’t sure what exactly it was, but she was one –hundred percent sure that there was, at one point, someone else’s blood on Bea Wolfe’s hands. Call her crazy, but she totally didn’t want to get onto Bea’s bad side.

“Right,” Jane said.

“Anyways, do you girls want to do a face  mask ? ” Celeste asked.

“You’re sure it won’t take my face off ?” Phoebe asked.

“Positive,” Celeste confirmed. “It won’t take your face off, Turbo – Girl.”

The three girls went and sat in front of their moms, as each mom grabbed one of the little jars of face masks, before they started to apply the different color masks on each of the girl’s faces.

“So, we had a question for you guys,” Taffeta asked.

“What was the question ?” Jane asked.

“Do you know any cool band  names ? ” Anya asked.

“Well, back when I was in school, a few boys from the theatre group wanted to start a band,” Bea started. “They called themselves ‘The Four Phantoms; they never really took off, since their instrument skills were a xylophone, cymbals, oboe, and the triangle, but still – cool name. I thought the leader was cute, his name was Logan Byrd, and he played the oboe.”

“ Byrd ? ” Anya asked. “Wolfe is way cooler.”

“I can totally agree with that,” Bea said. “I like being Bea Wolfe more than Bea Byrd.”

“If I get married  some day , I wouldn’t want to change my name,” Phoebe claimed. “I think that Phoebe  Vinderstromm is a cool name already; why change it ?”

“What if you could be Phoebe Wolfe, or Phoebe  Willoughby ? ” Anya asked.

“ Ew !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “I don’t want to get married !!”

“Besides, I wouldn’t want to marry Taffeta !!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“Or you could be Phoebe Matsumoto, and marry Katsuki,” Taffeta claimed. “Katsuki watched you almost the entire pageant. It was like she couldn’t stop making goo – goo eyes at you.”

“ Ooo , it sounds like Katsuki has a crush on Phoebe !!” Anya giggled.

“She spit on me and called me a boy !!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“And you don’t need to go out with anyone that treats you like that,” Celeste reaffirmed. “You should go out with someone that thinks you’re a pretty girl, and values your mind and personality, but what was the rule about dating ?”

“No dating until I’m fifteen,” Phoebe claimed.

“Why are you all so hung up on dating,  anyways ? ” Jane asked. “I had a boyfriend once, and it was so not worth it.”

“And now you’re in love with Mister Tim,” Anya claimed. “ So you’re all hung up on him.”

“Not exactly,” Jane claimed.

“They’re not married, like your parents,” Taffeta defended. “They’re in a domestic partnership, so we can be a family, always, and officially. But your parents are married, and they kiss, on the lips and stuff.”

“So  what ? ” Anya asked. “They’re in love with  eachother !!”

“Some love is romantic,” Anya asked. “But in cases like Miss Jane’s case, it’s not romantic. She loves Tim platonically, he’s like her very best friend, and they do everything together.”

“Like me, Taffeta, and  Phoebe ? ” Anya asked.

“Sure,” Jane claimed. “Exactly like that.”

“Do you guys have any other  band names ? ” Phoebe asked.

“Well, at one party I went to, there was an  up and coming band that played, so they could try to get a record deal,” Celeste started. “They were a punk band called ‘Anarchists’, because their music was about going against the system, being outside of the box that people expect you to be in.”

“I like that word,” Anya claimed. “It’s kind of like us; Phoebe is a girl, even though everyone wants her to be a boy. Taffeta is in crutches, even though she gets picked on for them. I like girls, even though I’m supposed to like boys.”

The three women looked at  eachother with widened eyes as they looked back to Taffeta and Phoebe, who also looked back at her. Anya didn’t even seem to pay any mind to the looks she was getting, but it was all out of simply shock rather than distain.

“Like you want to marry a  girl ? ” Bea asked her daughter.

“Yeah !!” Anya exclaimed. “Girls are pretty.”

“But, like, think about it, Anya,” Bea insisted.

“Boys are gross, mommy,” Anya stated. “I don’t want to marry a gross  boy, I’d rather marry a pretty girl.”

“O - kay,” Bea confirmed. “Girls it is.”

“Girls,” Anya confirmed.

“So, do you want to marry me or Taffeta ?” Phoebe asked.

“I don’t think I’d go that far,” Anya said. “Ask me again in middle school, when I’m allowed to kiss girls.”

Jane took a minute to think to herself, all these kids were little weirdos, in all the best ways.

First, there was Taffeta, a young girl full of sunshine and determination, even though the world didn’t seem to be in her favor at times. She was proud to have helped raise a strong little kid, and Taffeta always found new and different ways to surprise her, make her happy, make her proud. She saw a lot of herself in her, and of course, she saw a bit of Tim too. She was so weirdly perfect to her.

Second, there was Phoebe, who had blossomed into such a gentle and sweet little girl, even when people would pick on her and try to make her something she isn’t. The girl was loyal and true to who she was, and never tried to change herself to make others happy – kind of like Lars.

Third, there was Anya, who was surrounded by men and testosterone, but it only made her into a strong – willed, little firecracker, that always had something to say. She was normally in a pretty chipper mood, and was never scared to get down and dirty – a lot like Randy.

They were really a unique bunch of kids.

“Momma, do you have any band  ideas ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Oh, uh -” Jane thought to herself for a moment. “I mean, it’s not another band name, but I feel like a band name with the planet Venus in it would be pretty cool. Venus is the planet of women, strong women.”

“What about ‘The Three Anarchists of Venus ’ ? ” Phoebe asked. “Does that sound like a cool band name ?”

“Why are you girls so focused on a band  name ? ” Celeste asked.

“We want to start a band !!” Anya exclaimed.

“Oh, what kind of  band ? ” Bea asked.

“A rock band,” Taffeta confirmed. “Phoebe wants to learn the bass, Anya wants Damien to teach her how to play the drums, and my momma knows how to sing and play instruments, so maybe she can teach me how to play something.”

Jane bit the inside of her cheek. Yes, she knew how to play instruments, like the bass  ( string bass, not  guitar ) , tambourine, and the trumpet, but nothing within the rock genre. On top of that, she had never really been interested in rock music, so she wouldn’t know where to start. She better  get to learning, because she didn’t want to leave her daughter out in the wind. Maybe this band thing might give her a good outlet if they stick to it. Music was her happy place for a very long time.

“Of course,” Jane agreed. “I know how to play a few things.”

“If you’re serious about this, I can get you a tutor,” Celeste agreed. “It would be nice to give you something to do outside of school, and hey, it might even benefit you when you’re in school !!”

“Yeah, like Damien playing the drums now,” Anya claimed. “He’ll already be good at the drums when he gets into middle school, so that means his teacher won’t have to teach him all the basic stuff, like they do  they other kids in the band.”

“Hey, I didn’t know they had ‘Jump  Up ; Three Throws’ on here !!” Bea exclaimed.

“What’s that ?” Jane asked.

“It’s this movie about a college basketball player named Trey Marshall, and he’s trying to navigate his way through college after the passing of his grandpa, who inspired him to become a basketball player,” Bea explained. “But, he’s also not great with school, but he wants to get into the big leagues, and that can’t happen unless he passes all of his classes.”

“ So it’s all  feelsy ?” Jane asked. “Sounds boring.”

“Well, he’s also a superhero on the side,” Bea clarified. “He has to keep his identity a secret from everyone else, including his best friend, girlfriend, and single mother.”

“Now you got me hooked,” Jane claimed.

“Do you girls want to watch the movie ?” Bea asked.

“Sounds boring,” Anya said.

“Do you girls want to go back to my room and watch ‘Super Pony Princess’ on my T.V ?” Phoebe asked.

“Is that even a question ?” Taffeta asked. “Of course !!”

The three girls scampered back up the stairs.

“Come back down in an hour so we can take your masks off,” Celeste called up the stairs.

“We will !!” Phoebe exclaimed.

Jane checked her phone to see if Tim had answered her text, before she looked at the front window, in hopes to see a pair of headlights. She didn’t even care if he was drunk, or high. She just wanted him to be safe.

“Hey, are you still nervous about  him ? ” Bea asked.

“I texted him,” Jane claimed. “He didn’t text back. I want to call him, maybe if I call him, he might come home.”

“Think about it this way,” Celeste started. “If he doesn’t come home tonight, maybe that’s a good thing. He could be passed out somewhere, and that means that he’s not driving while under any sort of influence, so he’s less likely to get hurt or injured while doing so.”

“But what if he is  hurt ? ” Jane asked. “I know where his dealer is, and I want to go and see if he might be somewhere – I – I know most of the spots. Maybe when the girls are asleep, we can get Lars over here and then you guys can come with me, just to see if he’s anywhere to be found.”

“What would you even do if you found  him ? ” Bea asked. “Look, Jane, it might not be a good idea to go looking, you can get mixed up in a whole bunch of stuff he might be doing behind your back.”

“I just want him to come home safe,” Jane sighed. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Come on, Bea,” Celeste encouraged. “This could be good. It might even be a wakeup call for him. My dad would get me out of dark places that I wasn’t supposed to be in, and without him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Tim might need her now more than ever.”

“But what if he’s doing something  shady ? ” Bea asked.

“Okay, we’ll make a deal,” Jane said. “I won’t talk to him, or anyone I think looks suspicious, and we’ll be back before the girls wake up.”

“As long as we’re back before the girls are awake . . .” Bea sighed. “But, please, don’t try to get us all in trouble. I’ve seen how sticky things can get when you mess with the wrong people, and I don’t want you, or any of us to be in a situation we could’ve avoided.”

“Let’s hope the girls aren’t planning an all  nighter ,” Jane claimed. “I promise I won’t try to do anything too rash. I just want my brother home, I’m tired of him getting into all this trouble. Taffeta needs him too.”

“How about we make some milkshakes ?” Celeste suggested. “And then we can put a little bit of liquid melatonin in the girls’ milkshakes, and they’ll be out within fifteen minutes ?”

“We are not drugging the girls,” Bea said.

“It’s not drugging !!” Celeste exclaimed. “Melatonin is all natural.”

“Look, I’m pretty sure Bea used to kill people for a living, and she’s even telling you that you’re going too far,” Jane pointed out. “Let’s just let them run their energy out, and then we can  skedattle for a little bit.”

“Yeah, Celeste,” Bea agreed. “Jane has a point.”

Jane’s eyes widened at the statement before she turned to face Bea. She didn’t deny that she ever did murder someone, which was a little unsettling.

“ So you did kill people in  Korea ? ” Jane asked.

“I will neither confirm or deny that,” Bea said.


	20. Night Silhouettes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || Another warning ahead of time, this chapter has a lot of swearing involved, and one character is incredibly vulgar in what they say ( and they say some pretty messed up things to Jane in general ), and this chapter involves A.'s second job once again ( but not as in depth as ' The Willoughby's Nadir ' ), so please prepare for some more mature things !!

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 :

ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕤

◟ ◞

“Be safe, please don’t get into any trouble,” Lars signed to them. “I don’t want to have to bail any of you out of prison tonight.”

“I promise, we’ll be fine, babe,” Celeste said  ( and signed ) back. “If the girls ask where we went, just tell them we ran out of groceries, and we’ll be back soon.”

Lars simply nodded before he watched them walk out the door.

They piled into Celeste’s sleek sports car, with Jane in the back, Bea in the passenger, and Celeste driving.

“You better know what you’re doing,” Bea said. “I really agree with Lars. Randy will be so disappointed if he finds out we all went to jail – we are kind of too old to be making reckless decisions. We have kids, you two have jobs -”

“Bea, you’re overthinking it,” Jane soothed. “As long as nothing goes wrong, we’ll be back in no time at all. We’re just going to the liquor store on the corner of Sixth Street, and we’re going to ask Tim’s old dealer if he knows where he is.”

Celeste gulped at the thought of talking to a drug dealer.

“We won’t be around any drugs,  right ? ” she asked. “Or, like, the most we’ll be around is, like, dirt  pot ? The kind you have to pick the seeds out of before you roll it into a joint inside a record case.”

“Skip normally doesn’t keep his stuff on him,” Jane claimed. “When Tim needed something, he’d book in advance, or he’d have to actually go to Skip’s place. I’ve been with him once. Run down trailer park about thirty minutes outside of town. Lots of dirtbags live there.”

They drove down the backroads of New York, to avoid all the hustle and bustle of traffic. There was no turning back now, this was it.

“Jane, if I were to hypothetically have a taser on me, would that be bad ?” Bea asked.

“Why the hell did you bring a taser to a sleepover ?” Jane asked.

“Korea !!” Bea exclaimed. “It really does things to a person’s head. I want to stay protected. I have a permit for  it !! It was, just in case someone broke in, I could get them before you call the police.”

“We shouldn’t need it,” Jane claimed. “Can you leave it in the car ?”

“In my car ?” Celeste asked. “I don’t think  so !! If things do go south, I don’t want the police to find a weapon in my car. I will get charged up the ass about  it !! My manager can, and probably will totally drop me from my contract if I get arrested with weapon charges.”

“Okay, okay,” Jane agreed. “But, let me do most of the talking, let’s not try to let this escalate, no matter how shitty Skip acts towards us, because, he does kind of say things he really shouldn’t at times.”

“Just let us know if you need us to step in,” Celeste said. “Don’t let this guy treat you like dirt, because we won’t let him get away with it.”

“I’ll tase him if I have to,” Bea claimed. “L - Let’s just hope it doesn’t come down to it.”

“Keep your hands off your taser, Bea,” Jane warned. “Skip hates law  enforcement , and if he thinks that I brought law enforcement into the store, he could totally flip a switch and hurt us, or Tim.”

“Okay,” Bea sighed. “I’ll do my best.”

“I really owe you guys one,” Jane said. “I don’t even think my own siblings would do this with me.”

“W - We’re friends, Jane,” Celeste reminded. “Don’t even worry about paying us back. Besides, I don’t even know what goes on in my life that’s even this big for you to repay, unless you want to come and scoop cat litter at my place for a week.”

“If that’s what you need me to do -”

“I was kidding, Jane,” Celeste insisted.

“Oh, right . . .” Jane said. “We’re here.”

The three women got out of the car and Celeste took a few quarters out of her jacket pocket that she used to pay for the parking meter, even though it didn’t seem that anyone in the area really cared about using any of the parking meters.

“So, how are we going to do  this ? ” Celeste asked.

“You guys should probably keep your distance for the first part,” Jane said. “If I need you, I’ll get your attention, but just kind of . . . look around, check the bathrooms, see if Tim’s there. Let me know if he is.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Bea sighed. “ Whoo , I’m nervous.”

“Me too, but it’ll be over soon, Bea,” Celeste reassured. “If he’s not here, what do we do ?”

“Go home, I guess,” Jane sighed. “Unless Skip’s nice enough to give us an idea of where else he could’ve gone, but he’s not really ‘Mister  Happypants ’.”

“Dealers normally aren’t,” Celeste said. “When I used to get drugs, I’d have someone more abrasive tag along, so we wouldn’t get ripped off.”

They stood outside the drug store for a moment, shivering in the freezing cold winter air.

“Okay, so, don’t be suspicious,” Jane reminded. “Just be careful, look for Tim, and we’re out of there.”

“Let’s hope this goes well,” Bea sighed. “God, Randy would freak if he knew I was out here.”

“Well, let’s not act in a way that could get us in trouble,” Celeste said. “Let’s go.”

The three women walked inside of the liquor store, with Celeste going to look at the liquors they had, and Bea went to the one fridge that had kid juices and stuff inside. It was a little sad that stores like this had a section that appealed to kids. Who knows how many parents came in here and bought their unsuspecting kids a drink . . . who knows if Tim had done that in the past few weeks ?

Jane walked up to the counter before she was greeted by the voice and leer that made her so incredibly uncomfortable. She prepared herself for the amount of verbal raw sewage that would pour from his mouth while she was there.

“We - heh – heh – hell, if it isn’t Jane  Willoughby ? ” he greeted. “And she still has the bod she used to when she was jailbait. Heard you’re a mom now. You really earned that ‘M.I.L.F’ status, didn’t  you ? ”

“Skip, I’m just here to ask for one thing, and one thing alone,” Jane rejected. “I found out about Tim. Has he been here today, at all ?”

“He was here a few times today,” Skip answered. “Came back just a few minutes ago and left. I’m surprised he didn’t buy any cocaine earlier – the sick deviant would probably have a lot of fun, snorting it off those pretty collarbones you have.”

“Do you know where he  went ? ” Jane asked.

She wanted to jump on that counter and jam her acrylic nails into the disgusting pig’s eyes, but she kept her composure, just for Tim. Her body felt hot, as if her blood had boiled. Hopefully she didn’t turn red, because that would be a dead giveaway about how grossed out she was at the things he was telling her.

“Probably left to go and be with his hoochie,” Skip answered. “Male hooch. Hell, I’d get desperate too if I lived with a fine female like you and you kept rejecting my advances of being my main bitch.”

That was it, she knew she was blushing now. She balled her fists and furrowed her eyebrows as she arched her back. She took a deep breath in before she let it out.

“Did he buy anything while he was  here ? ” she asked.

“Weed, purple kush,” Skip answered. “Quite a bit of it. I never really saw him as a weed guy, I would’ve thought he’d go for Alprazolam so he could crush it up and snort it. Really takes the edge of for a spastic son of a bitch like him.”

He must’ve been having a good day, because he had never been the cooperative type unless he was having a good day. Jane had no idea what could brighten this man’s day outside of booze and drugs, unless he was also high, but she couldn’t make out any smells that stood out  ( because they all really stood out . ) . She still had the sneaking suspicion that Skip was lying to her too, because for all the years Jane knew Tim, he had rejected any sort of ‘smoking’ drugs, like crack, meth – hell, he didn’t even smoke  _ cigarettes  _ at any given point in time.

“Do you know if he’ll be  back ? ” Jane asked.

“He might be, he might not be,” Skip said.

There it was.

“He could be gone all night, I’m not his mommy,” Skip continued. “I don’t sit over here and pay attention to his every move. He could never come back for all I really care.”

Bea and Celeste came up beside Jane, before Bea put a fruit punch flavored ‘Silly Juice’ on the cashier counter.

“Now who’s your friends ?” Skip asked. “You all going to go back in that little sports car and play a rough game of tonsil hockey with  each other . This blonde one must suck face like a pro.”

“Listen here, scumbag -” Bea started.

“Look, we’re just here for her brother and this juice,” Celeste interjected. “If you don’t know where he is, just ring up the juice, and we’ll be out of your hair.”

“I’ll give you the drink for free if you flash me, toots,” Skip said.

“That’s enough,” Bea scolded. “Ring up the damn juice.”

“How about you make out with your friend here ?” Skip asked Bea.

“Okay, Skip, I’ll pay for it,” Jane said.

She took out her credit card before he typed in the price they had to pay.

“Ten dollars ?” Celeste asked.

“The juice was only a dollar !!” Bea pointed out.

“It’s collateral,” Skip explained. “Since you three didn’t do what I asked, I’m adding more to the price point.”

“You can’t do that !!” Bea exclaimed.

“Actually, I’m the manager here, sweetheart,” Skip explained. “So that means, I can do whatever the hell I want.”

Jane typed in her PIN number, before she took the juice and handed it back to Bea. She then noticed that Tim’s station wagon pulled in front of Celeste’s car and both him, and another guy in a denim mini – skirt, fishnet stockings, shiny silver pumps, and a cropped leather jacket she couldn’t identify yet got out of the car.

She ran outside, before she saw him get out.

“Holy shit !!” He exclaimed. “Jane, what the hell are you doing here ?”

“I could ask you the same exact think, you goddamn junkie !!” she shouted.

“ Ssh , don’t make a scene,” he said. “Someone might here you, and we’re  gonna get in huge trouble.”

“We are not  gonna get in trouble,” the other guys said. “The only way we’re  gonna get in trouble is if you act all  suspiciooo . . .  **_ Jane  _ ** ?”

“Oh my god,  **_ A _ ** . ? ” Jane asked. “ **_ What the actual  _ ** **_ fuck  _ ** ? ”

“ Ssh , Jane, I can explain,” A. excused.

“What is going  on ? ” Jane asked. “What are you  wearing ? Please, don’t tell me you’re -”

“Okay, it’s exactly what you think it is on my end, but that’s a story for another time,” A. said. “ But, I promise I’m only helping him.”

“ _ Helping him with  _ **_ what _ ** **** ? ” Jane asked. “ _ Did you buy him  _ _ booze  _ ? **_ That’s not helping,  _ ** **_ A. _ ** !! _ Damn it, don’t you understand, I want him to get  _ **_ better  _ ** ? ”

“Jane, calm down !!” he exclaimed. “You’re lucky I’m high off my ass right now, because I would be so mad if I wasn’t -”

“ **_ High  _ ** ? ” Jane asked. “ _ Off of  _ **_ what  _ ** ? _ Don’t tell me you both went and did  _ **_ coke  _ ** _ together _ !!”

Tim went to her before he pulled her into a hug. The hug was tight, and she could barely move, as she was shoved into his chest. She tried to jerk away, but he didn’t let her.

“ _ Sshh _ ,  **_ sshh _ ** ,” he hushed. “ _ It’s just a little bit of weed, calm down _ .”

“ _ Oh my god,  _ **_ weed _ ** **** ?” Jane shouted. “ _ You both smoked  _ **_ weed _ ** **__ ** _ together _ ? _ How much _ ?”

“It was just like,  _ four  _ bowls,” A. answered.

“ _ Between the  _ **_ both  _ ** _ of  _ _ you _ ? ” Jane asked.

“If that makes you feel better,” A. chuckled.

“ **_ Oh my god, I can’t believe you two  _ ** !!” Jane shouted.

She shoved Tim off of herself, before she felt both Celeste and Bea’s hands on her shoulders.

“Oh shit, you brought them too ?” Tim asked.

“ _ You’re off getting  _ **_ high  _ ** _ with A. instead of being at home with  _ _ me _ ? ” she asked. “ _ I’ve  _ **_ texted  _ ** _ you _ !! Y _ ou haven’t even text  _ **_ back  _ ** _ – you've barely even  _ **_ talked  _ ** _ to me in the past few  _ _ weeks _ !! _ Today was Phoebe’s pageant and you weren’t even  _ **_ home  _ ** _ all  _ _ day _ !! **_ I was worried about  _ ** **_ you  _ ** !! I – I love . . .  _ I  _ **_ missed  _ ** _ you,  _ _ you _ _ stupid piece of  _ **_ shit _ ** **** !!”

“Jane, we should handle this later,” Celeste encouraged. “Let’s just . . . bring him home.”

“Yeah, we’ve been out here long enough,” Bea agreed. “I’ll go with you.”

Tim looked back to A. before he looked to Jane, and then back to A..

“I tried,” A. said. “You . . . You should really go home, man.”

“ _ This isn’t over, A. _ ,” Jane hissed. “ _ I’ll deal with you later _ .”

She loaded Tim into the back seat of the station wagon, before Celeste got in her car. Bea sat in the passenger side. They all buckled in, before Jane leaned over onto the steering wheel. She felt herself start to cry again, before Bea put her hand on her back.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bea whispered. “Let’s just get you back home.”

“Yeah . . .” Jane agreed. “I just want to go home . . .”

Jane turned on the station wagon and looked to see that there was about enough gas to get them back to the house, like he hadn’t filled the tank in weeks. It was unlike him to be this disorganized, even when they were young, everything had to be organized in the way he wanted it, because he couldn’t function under chaos.

She looked in the rearview mirror to see him buckled up, tapping his foot on the ground, looking at his hands as he twiddled his thumbs, like he was a kid in middle school that had gotten sent to the principal’s office. She had her fair share of times in there, for being on her phone in class, talking back to teachers, picking on other kids, but Tim had only been there for good reasons. She wanted to be angry with him, she really did, but when he looked like a dog in the animal rescue commercials, it was so incredibly hard not to feel bad for him.

She couldn’t look at him anymore, she was so confused about how she felt about him at the moment. She knew she cared about him with almost all of her being, but part of her was angry that he prioritized drugs and alcohol over their family . . . again, and another part was uncomfortable, because of what Skip said about him being attracted to her, but she wanted to doubt that was true, that had to be something he said to make her uncomfortable.

She continued on; the car was filled with silence. There was nothing to say anymore. She didn’t know what to say. She could tell him that she was disappointed in him, but she didn’t want to sound like Nanny, giving a lecture. She could say she was angry, but she didn’t really know if she was actually angry with him. She could say she was hurt, but she didn’t want to seem weak. She wanted  to just be numb to it all, but she couldn’t be.

Finally, she pulled into the driveway of their house and they all got out of the car.

Bea looked towards her house to see that none of the lights were on, her family was asleep.

“Let me help you in,” she offered.

“No,” Jane denied. “I got this. I’ll be over in a minute. Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure ?” Bea asked. “It’s okay if you need -”

“I got it,” Jane said. “Besides, we need to be alone right now.”

She looked to Tim and he looked away, more than likely embarrassed now that more than just Jane and A. knew about his problem. 

Jane took him by the arm and lead him back inside of their own house, where she shut the door behind herself.

“I know you’re mad,” he started. “I’d be pretty mad too.”

She didn’t answer. She simply went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup, that she proceeded to fill with ice and water.

He didn’t realize how thirsty he was until he watched her pour the water in the cup. He took it when she handed it to him. He looked at her, and tried to read her face, but he simply couldn’t. He couldn’t tell if she was mad, or upset, or even disappointed – maybe it was a mix of all three.

“Why are you being so nice to  me ? ” he asked.

She still didn’t answer, she simply  lead him upstairs, before she sat him on the bed in their bedroom. She went through his closet, before she tossed a pair of sweatpants at him, along with a t – shirt he bought on their trip to the aquarium a few weeks back.

“Get some sleep, I’m taking your keys,” she said.

“Stay here,” he whispered. “Please ?”

“No,” she denied. “I promised Taffeta that I was going to have a fun night with her, and I’m going to do just that. I’m not staying here, because you decided to do this.”

“Please, I don’t want to be alone in this house,” he begged. “There’s vodka in the fridge, don’t leave me alone like this.”

“Tim, you need to be responsible for yourself,” she said. “If you decide to drink all that shit you have downstairs, that’s on you. I can’t just constantly keep doing this. I want to be there for you, but you have to meet me halfway. I need to be there for Taffeta too. We both do, so I’d recommend that you get your shit together, for your damn daughter if anybody, because if you don’t, you’ll leave me with no choice but to leave with her.”

He didn’t respond.

“She can’t live like this, I don’t want her to live with an alcoholic asshole, I don’t want to live with an alcoholic asshole that abandons his family with the drop of a hat,” she said. “Don’t you get it ?”

“Jane, I . . .” he stopped.

“Look, Tim, I don’t want to leave,” Jane said. “But I have to prioritize Taffeta over everything, and I gladly will. She deserves a happy life, and I’ll give it to her immediately. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that kid happy, even if that means cutting you from the picture.”

“I want to get better,” he whispered. “ **_ I really want to get better _ ** !!”

That was enough to make them both  start crying, not quietly either – loud,  desperate crying.

“ **_ I want you to get better too, you fucking moron  _ ** !!” Jane shouted. “ **_ I want it to go back to the way it  _ ** **_ was _ ** !! **_ I miss the good days, when we weren’t this mess that we are  _ ** **_ now _ ** !! **_ I fucking miss you, Tim _ ** !!”

“ **_ I miss you too  _ ** !!” he cried. “ **_ I wish I wasn’t fucked  _ ** **_ up _ ** !! **_ I wish I was  _ ** **_ the man _ ** **_ you deserve  _ ** !!”

“ **_ Then be that man _ ** !!” she yelled. “ **_ It’s not fucking rocket science  _ ** !!”

She sat down on the bed next to him, before they fell into a hug. One of his arms over her shoulder, and the other pulled her close to him by her thigh, while both of her arms were around his neck, as she buried her face into his neck. 

“ _ I don’t want you to hurt _ ,” he whispered. “ _ Please, darling, don’t cry _ .”

She couldn’t even verbalize any sort of response, she just clung to him and continued to cry. 

He squeezed onto her tighter, before he planted kisses on her head. He just wanted her to stop crying, but he knew she had probably held it in for far too long. She needed this more than anything, and he needed to actually be there for her, not just when times were good, but when times weren’t so good.

“ _ I love you, and I’m sorry, _ ” he whispered into her head.

“ _ I - I – I'm so  _ . . .” she started.

“ _ Hey, hey, darling, it’s okay _ . . .” he hushed. “ _ You didn’t do anything wrong. _ ”

She pulled back and they touched their foreheads together and nuzzled softly, as he cupped her cheeks. 

“ _ I’m sorry _ ,” he whispered again. 

He let go of her before he started to leave the room and walk downstairs.

Jane followed close behind him, before she saw him go to the kitchen, and he opened the refrigerator before he took out the bottles of vodka, and took them to the sink, where he poured them down the drain, with the loud splashing glugs being the only thing that was heard. 

“Tim, what are you - ?” she started.

“I don’t need this anymore,” he said. “I’m tired of this ruining my life. It’s another thing I don’t need, like my ring, like Queen, like cocaine. It needs to be gone.”

He shivered as he felt a thump from behind, before he realized that Jane had grabbed onto him from his back. He turned before he hugged her back and settled his head atop her’s.

“I’m glad you’re back,” she whispered.

“Me too,” he agreed. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

“Don’t do it again,” she said. 

“I won’t try to,” Tim sighed. “I think, and please don’t be mad, I think I should try to go back to rehab, soon.”

“Do you think it’ll help  you ? ” she asked.

“I hope so,” he said. “ But, that means you and Taffeta will be on your own for a bit. They let friends and family visit like every two weeks, but I won’t be here, you know ?”

“What are we going to tell Taffeta ?” Jane asked. “I don’t think she’s old enough to know what’s really going on just yet.”

“We could just tell her that I’m going on vacation for a little bit,” Tim claimed.

“But we can still see you ?” Jane asked. “That wouldn’t really make sense. Taffeta’s not stupid. She’ll know something’s wrong.”

“We could tell her that I’m sick, and I need to go to a special kind of hospital,” Tim claimed. “I think that might work. You still get to visit people in the hospital, and she might think it’s kind of like when we had to go and visit B. in the hospital after he had his appendix taken out.”

“Yeah, maybe . . .” she sighed.

He cupped her cheek again.

“I’ll only be gone for a few months,” he reassured. “And hopefully, when I come out, I’ll be back and better than ever.”

“You better stick to everything that you’re told,” she said. “Go to your meeting, get a therapist if you need one, use coping skills when it comes to your withdrawals.”

“I will, Jane,” he reassured. “I promise.”


	21. Never Pristine Again

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 - 𝕆𝕟𝕖 :

ℕ𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 ℙ𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝔸𝕘𝕒𝕚𝕟

◟ ◞

Taffeta grabbed onto Jane’s leg as she saw the station wagon in the driveway. Normally she would be excited, because that meant her poppa was home, but after the talk with Phoebe and Anya about what being ‘drunk’ meant, and remembering what happened a few weeks ago, she didn’t want to be home ever again, because she didn’t want to risk being around him when he was like that. He scared her momma, and to be fair, it terrified her to see that all happen.

“Hey  Taff , what’s going  on ? ” Jane asked. “We have to  go, Phoebe has a therapy appointment and Anya has to go to her grandparents’ house for dinner. People need to live their own lives too.”

“I think I forgot my moth on the table,” Taffeta stalled.

Her heels dug into the cement and made little scuff marks into the back of her shoes as Jane attempted to pull her towards the house.

“I grabbed it,” Jane reassured. “It’s in our bag. Look, poppa’s back, don’t you want to go and say  hi ? He missed you.”

Taffeta shook her head, before she curled her fingers into Jane’s leg.

“Hey, are you  okay ? ” Jane asked.

She kneeled down to Taffeta’s level before she put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders.

“What’s bothering  you ? ” she asked again.

Taffeta didn’t answer, she simply looked away, before she wriggled out from Jane’s grip, and attempted to balance herself on her crutches. She was silent and kept her head down.

“We have to go inside, he’s making us lunch,” Jane encouraged. “Meatloaf. You’re the one that thinks cold meatloaf tastes gross, we wouldn’t want it to be gross, would we ?”

Taffeta shook her head, before Jane stood and took Taffeta’s hand. They both walked up the walkway into the house. It smelled of gingerbread candles and meatloaf, as well as bread rolls that baked in the oven. 

Tim was in the kitchen, with the remaining two kittens ( as Tim brought Ebenezer and Archibald to the Wolfe’s and  Vinderstromm –  McMilks when the girls were playing in the backyard at Lars and Celeste’s ), Dot and Edith, as they lapped up the little bits of cooked meatloaf Tim had put in a bowl for the both of them. He smiled as he saw Taffeta and Jane come through the door, before he got down on his knees. He gave his daughter a smile and held his arms out for a hug.

“Lima bean !!” he greeted.

His smile faded ever so slightly, as she shrunk back behind Jane.

“I missed you,” he added. “Can I have a  hug ? ”

She simply turned from behind Jane before she went up the stairs, faster than both Tim and Jane had seen a person move in crutches. Jane furrowed her eyebrows in worry before she looked to Tim.

He stood from the floor and brushed out the wrinkles from his pants.

“D - Did . . .” he sighed. “Did I do something wrong ?”

“No, you’re fine,” Jane reassured. “Let me go and talk to her. Meatloaf smells good by the way.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll go and get the plates ready.”

“Okay,” Jane confirmed. “We should be down in a minute.”

She walked up the stairs before she saw Smokey pawing under Taffeta’s shut door. He sat down at the doorway, before he looked to Jane and meowed. She got down on her knees and pet the cat’s cheeks, before she leaned with her face to the door. She heard sniffling and crying, before she bit the inside of her cheek. Something was wrong, and she didn’t know what.

Jane got back onto her feet before she lightly tapped her knuckles on the door, before she twisted the knob and opened it  ( Luckily , Taffeta didn’t know she had a lock on her door just yet, and Jane wasn’t looking forward to one day, getting the door slammed in her face before Taffeta ended up locking it. ).

“Hey Taff,” she greeted softly. “What happened ?”

Her voice was quiet and gentle, which as still uncommon to those that didn’t truly know Jane at her core. It was a gentleness she used with Taffeta and Taffeta alone.

She shut the door behind herself, to allow for them to be alone for a minute.

She went to the bed, before she sat down next to Taffeta and put her hand on Taffeta’s back, before Taffeta nestled in her arms, right in the crook as she continued to cry and sob.

Jane used her thumbs to wipe away her daughter’s tears, and the panic in her own system only grew. She didn’t know what was wrong, or how she could fix it. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen this from her baby before, because she was so used to Taffeta being so chipper and positive. She’d never expect that Taffeta would have a breakdown like this, at least, not until she was a little older and the world decided to pour some  cynicism into her.

“Baby, what’s wrong ?” Jane asked. “Is there anything I can do to help you ?”

“I’m scared, momma !!” Taffeta cried.

“Scared of  what ? ” Jane asked.

“ **_ I - I was awake that night  _ ** !!” Taffeta sobbed. “ **_ I was awake, when I should’ve been asleep, and I know it was a school night, but I couldn’t sleep, and I went to listen to some of poppa’s records, and I was awake _ ** !!”

“W - What  night ? ” Jane asked. “No, don’t cry, please, I’m not mad at you.”

“ **_ That one night you got mad at poppa for being drunk _ ** !!” Taffeta admitted. “ **_ I heard you guys yelling and arguing, and then I saw him grab you  _ ** !!”

Jane pulled Taffeta into her lap before she rubbed her back. She allowed Taffeta to cry as she tried to figure out what to say next. What do you say in those  situations ? She had no idea where to start or how to start. Maybe Tim could explain it to her better, but she had no idea if bringing him into the room was a good idea.

“ **_ I didn’t want him to hurt you _ ** !!” Taffeta cried.

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” Jane reassured. “I promise you, no matter what, your poppa would never hurt me, drunk or not. He isn’t going to hurt anybody.”

“ **_ He grabbed you momma  _ ** !!” Taffeta shouted. “ **_ He made you lay in the bed with him, even though you didn’t want  _ ** **_ to  _ ** !! **_ He made you cry _ ** !!”

“W - Where were you when all of this  happened ? ” Jane asked.

“ **_ I hid under the couch because I didn’t want to get in trouble _ ** !!” Taffeta cried. “ **_ I wanted to make sure you were safe _ ** !!”

The bedroom door opened and it was Tim, he stayed at the door and waved lightly, neither parent knew what to do. Bringing Tim in while Taffeta obviously didn’t trust him would possibly betray her trust even more, even though Tim could probably explain his own actions than Jane could. Leaving him outside the room wouldn’t really solve anything, because then there was nobody there to answer her questions.

“Do you think asking him why he did some of the things he did would make you feel  better ? ” Jane asked.

Taffeta turned to see him in the door, before she took off one of her shoes and threw it full force at the door, which he quickly shielded himself behind. She clung to Jane, with her nails digging into her mother’s arms, as if she was trying to protect her from him.

“ **_ Why did you make momma  _ ** **_ cry  _ ** ? ” Taffeta demanded.

He opened the door and stepped inside the room as he tried to make himself as passive as he possibly could, to show he meant no harm to both her and Jane. His voice was quiet and soft as he rose his hands up, to show that he came in peace, and nothing more.

She took off the other shoe, before she launched it directly at his knee, which he gave a quick ‘Ow’, before he sat in the egg – shaped rocking chair.

“ **_ Get away from us _ ** !!” Taffeta shouted.

“Taffeta, I’m not going to hurt you,” he soothed. “I won’t even touch you.”

“ **_ Why did you make momma  _ ** **_ cry _ ** ? ” she demanded again.

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he thought up something to say, because at this point, she kind of needed to know a vague version of the truth, because there wasn’t a way that they could lie their way out of what happened that night, especially since now they were aware that Taffeta saw what happened that night.

Jane held onto Taffeta, as Taffeta was wrapped around Jane like a protective baby koala.

“I’m . . . sick, Taffeta,” Tim claimed. “But, it’s not like a cold sick, or a tummy sick, it’s like a mind sick. Sometimes, it makes me do things that aren’t very smart, and aren’t very good, because a long time ago, I made a lot of bad choices.”

Taffeta didn’t respond. She simply glared at him with the sheer anger in her eyes, because that still didn’t justify why he had made her mother cry. He didn’t have the right to do that. That was her momma, and she didn’t care that he was her poppa – nobody had the right to hurt her momma, ever.

“I feel bad about making those choices, because it made me make worse choices as I got older,” he explained. “I lost a lot of good friends, and I hurt a lot of people’s feelings, your uncles’, granny and grandpop’s, and even your momma’s feelings. Eventually, I decided I wanted to get better, and I was better for a very long time, but these past few weeks, I’ve been making those bad choices again, but last night, I decided I didn’t want to make those bad choices ever again.”

“Poppa’s going to have to go away for  awhile soon,” Jane interjected. “He’s going to a special hospital that will help him feel better, and not make bad choices anymore. We’ll still get to visit, but he won’t live here for  awhile . It’s like when Uncle B. got his appendix taken out, and we still got to visit him while he was in the hospital.”

“When is he  leaving ? ” Taffeta asked.

“After Christmas, maybe even after New  Years ,” Tim answered. “I have to wait for the hospital to have room for me, because there’s a lot of people out there like me, that have made really bad choices, but they don’t want to make them anymore, so they go to this special hospital to help them make better choices.”

Jane remembered Celeste’s story, before she thought of a way to edit the story, in hopes to help Taffeta understand that Tim wasn’t a bad guy, and that he was in the process of growing and getting better as a person.

“The people that go to these special hospitals aren’t bad people, Taffeta,” Jane said. “I have a friend that went to one a super long time ago, because she made really, really bad choices, but eventually, her dad wanted her to get better, so he made her stay in one for a little while, so she could learn how to get better, and now she has a really good modeling job, and she’s married with a little girl of her own. She’s a very good person, a very hard worker, a good wife, and a great mom.”

“Like Miss  Celeste ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Exactly,” Jane confirmed. “Poppa’s trying to do the same thing she did, so he can work really hard at grandpop’s factory and make a lot of money, and then he can come home and be the best friend I’ve ever had, and he wants to be a great poppa to you too.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, Taffeta, and I never meant to hurt your momma either,” he said. “The most I can do right now is try to make better decisions, and help myself get better so I can be here for you when you need me  here. I haven’t been here when you needed me. I promise that every single day, from here on out, I’ll be doing my best to get better.”

She still didn’t answer  him, but she clung to Jane.

“Do you want to go downstairs and  eat ? ” he asked.

“Let’s go and eat,” Jane suggested. “Remember, cold meatloaf isn’t nearly as good as hot meatloaf. You said it yourself.”

She picked up Taffeta, before she carried her down the stairs and put her in the chair next to her, rather than across from her, because at this point, she knew that Taffeta was still very wary around Tim, and she didn’t feel right forcing Taffeta to be around him when she was uncomfortable. It would all take adjusting that would come with time, and she might not be used to him for  awhile , especially if she truly witnessed the events that happened that night. She was too young to understand how his drunk decisions didn’t reflect who he really is as a person. 

It was a very complex subject. For example, Skip was all around a total dick, and he was probably always going to be one, but Tim, on the other hand, was a really good man with a kind and gentle heart, but when he was drunk or high, he wasn’t the  **_ same _ ** . If he was still using or drinking when Jane was pregnant, there was no way she would’ve let him back into her life, so she kind of understood how Taffeta felt – all of the family did in a way.

Ever since whatever incident happened in high school after the party Tim brought Jane home from, A. didn’t even  _ like  _ Tim for a very long time. She wasn’t sure of A.’s true feelings now, but it was obvious that they had gotten used to  eachother at this point. Tim was even in his wedding, and they actually wanted to do things together. Eventually, maybe, Taffeta might find the same forgiveness that A. did. She hoped so, because she wanted her family to heal and grow from this, not that she ever wanted Taffeta in this predicament in the first place, but it’s all they could do at this point. She knew that things would never be the same again after all of this.

Taffeta picked at the meatloaf that was in front of her.

“Are you  hungry ? ” Tim asked her.

Taffeta simply put her fork down on the table, before she scooted away from the table, and walked back upstairs, before she shut her door behind herself.

“Don’t take it personally,” Jane reassured. “I’m sure she’s just shaken up from everything.”

“It’s my fault, Jane,” he sighed. “I can’t believe I did all of that.”

“Well, at least you’re planning on going to rehab,” she soothed. “Don’t give up on her. She still needs you, even if she doesn’t act like it.”

“I feel like I already did so much to mess up,” he said. “At the water park, that wasn’t the first time.”

“First time for  what ? ” Jane asked. “Drinking ?”

“Not even just drinking. The day we found out about Taffeta having A.L.S, I went out and got wine coolers, and then I ran into A., and  it kind of became a regular thing after that,” Tim admitted. “Eventually it got worse, and I  was . . . I was using coke again, when I went to the principal’s office for Taffeta’s fight, I was high, so I promised her that road trip. I wasn’t thinking.”

“You’ve been doing drugs again  too ? ” Jane asked.

Her voice was quiet, but she wasn’t angry, she seemed more hurt by the notion than anything. She reached out and held his hand before she knitted her eyebrows in concern.

“I can’t explain why,” he said. “I guess I’m stressed out too, but I didn’t want to take it out on you guys. I just want Taffeta to grow up and live a normal life – it hurt when the doctor said that he has no idea how long she has left, because she’s my baby too. Having her has always been a dream of mine, and to just lose her once we just got  her ? It feels like yesterday, she was this little lima bean that we swaddled up in a blanket and had to rock in that rocking chair to go to sleep. I’m not ready for her to go.”

“From her physical therapy visits, her therapist says that she isn’t rapidly deteriorating like most A.L.S patients, she’s doing really well, she’s even getting the shaking more under control,” Jane reassured. “Look, who knows how much time we have left with  her ? For now, the little things are the most important – her Christmas recitals, her weird ideas – those things matter the most right now, no matter how small they might seem in the long run, and we need to be there for her, just like she is for us.”

“How do we even bounce back from this ?” he asked.

“One day at a time,” Jane answered. “All we can do is  just . . . not give up on her. Don’t stop trying to make things better, but give her some time, smothering her might drive her away.”

“I feel like I’m failing,” he sighed.

She wiped her lips with a paper towel before she planted a gentle kiss on his temple, before she ran her fingers along the side of his face and dusted the tips of his hair with her fingernails.

“The only thing you can do is keep trying,” she said. “You’re not a bad guy, but you need to show that to Taffeta, because right now, she doesn’t know the difference between bad choices and bad people. She mixes the two up, because she only sees in black and white – she's only five, remember ?”

He looked at the small plate of meatloaf, before he scrunched his eyebrows.

“She still needs to eat,” he said. “I’ll go bring her plate up to her.”

He got up from his chair and picked up Taffeta’s plate, before he started to head up the stairs.

“ Tim ? ” Jane called from the dining room.

“ Yeah ? ” he asked.

“Be gentle with her, but don’t  smoth -”

“Don’t smother her, I know,” he confirmed.

He went down the hallway, before he knocked on the door lightly.

“Taffeta ?” he whispered.

She didn’t answer. All the lights were off, the curtains were shut, and he saw a small lump in her bed, where he assumed, she laid down and pulled the blankets over herself. He couldn’t tell if she was sleeping, but he didn’t want to go and check, because right now, he was pretty sure physical contact was off the table completely. 

“Hey, I brought you your food, just in case you get hungry later,” he said. “You should still eat. You need the energy for tomorrow.”

He set the plate down on her dresser.

He wanted badly to go to her bed and just lay there with her, be there with her, let her know that he was there for her from then on out, but he knew that he just couldn’t at the time. He had to give her space, just like they all had to do for Jane  awhile ago . . . was this how Nanny and  Melanoff felt ?

“I love you, lima bean,” he sighed.

He shut the door behind himself, before he saw Smokey, as the cat’s ears twitched as he looked up to him.

“I know, I’m an asshole,” Tim said.

The cat simply meowed back to him.

“I’m trying to get better, and I guess I could always start somewhere,” Tim sighed. “I’m sorry I kicked you down the stairs the other day, it was a dick move, and you didn’t deserve it.”

He looked down to see the cat, pressing his head against Tim’s calf, before he weaved in between Tim’s legs. The cat’s ears twitched, and it seemed like for the first time in a very long time, the cat smiled back at him. He reached down and picked the cat up, before he carried him downstairs and put him down on the couch where Edith soon leaped and attacked him, and the older cat as well as the kitten got into a little play fight on the couch.

“I feel like we should keep one,” Jane pouted.

“No, Jane,” he sighed.

“But look at how well they get along,” Jane pouted. “Why can’t we just keep one kitty ?”

“Because you have two cats and Taffeta has two cats as well as a hedgehog,” Tim reasoned. “Soon, this house is going to turn into a whole  freakin ’ zoo if you and her bring more animals in.”

“But you don’t have any pets,” Jane pointed out. “Look, wouldn’t it be nice to have a kitty of your own ?”

“I’m not really a cat person, Jane,” Tim said. “I don’t see the appeal of an animal where you have to work for their affection. Before Queen took Milady in the divorce, it was like I had a little buddy that always wanted to snuggle and play with me. Cats aren’t like that.”

“Cats have their good points, and not every cat is the same,” Jane reasoned. “Who knows, maybe if you actually spend some time with the kitties, you might love them even more than  dogs ? ”

“I have my doubts,” he teased.

“Give it a chance,” Jane encouraged. “Maybe the love of an animal might keep you more occupied, and they can be sort of like an emotional support  cat ? I read an article about the rise of therapy cats in everyday usage, and it’s proven that they function really well as therapy animals. We could get a kitty trained for you and then you’ll have a little pet of your own. Besides, then we won’t have to shell out money for a dog, and get all the cats used to having a dog.”

“We’ll give it a try, but if the whole ‘therapy cat’ thing doesn’t work out, then we’re totally getting a dog,” Tim claimed. “I want a little Japanese Chin, like Milady.”

“Whatever you say, honey,” she answered.

“Well, dear, I think I’m going to take a shower,” Tim said. “Maybe we can have a little movie night tonight. It’s the weekend, and if Taffeta decides to come out of her room, we can heat up some hot cocoa and popcorn, get a bunch of blankets and cuddle on the couch.”

“Okay,” Jane agreed. “I’ll pick up the kitchen while you’re in the shower.”

“Thanks,” he dismissed.

He went up the stairs and went into his bedroom to get himself another pair of pajamas that didn’t smell of booze or sweat ( He was going to get his laundry done tomorrow ), before he went down the hallway and into the bedroom.

Once the door to the master bedroom shut, Taffeta’s bedroom door opened, and she brought out her empty plate before she took it downstairs. The clicking of her crutches alerted Jane that she was awake, before she turned to face her daughter, as she started to wash the dishes that were in the sink.

“Hey baby,” Jane soothed. “Are you feeling okay ?”

Taffeta simply clung to Jane’s leg, before she looked around the room.

“He’s in the shower,” Jane answered. “He said we should have a movie night tonight, but if you want to stay in your room, that’s fine.”

“I want him to go,” Taffeta whispered.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he won’t be gone for another few weeks,” Jane sighed. “But even then, you shouldn’t be so mean to him – he wants to try and make things better. Don’t you think you should give him a chance ?”

“What if he doesn’t get better and he hurts you  again ? ” Taffeta asked.

“We don’t know if that’ll happen,  Taff ,” Jane said. “That’s the hardest part about these things. We have to trust what he says and wait to see what he does. You could definitely be right, and he could always do it again,  but, I don’t know if I should be telling you this . . . but this isn’t the  first time poppa’s had to go to the special hospital. When we were a lot younger, he had to go too, and eventually he got a lot better, and that’s when we moved in together and had you.”

“Has he ever hurt you  before ? ” Taffeta asked.

“I’m . . .” Jane paused. “N - No, Taffeta, he’s not - he’s never . . . your poppa’s a good guy.”

“That doesn’t answer the question,” Taffeta pointed out.

“Just trust me on this one,” Jane said. “Don’t hate him for what you saw, he wasn’t thinking straight, but now he’s trying to. He needs us to be there for him, and he’s trying to be there for us. He needs our love and care, because sometimes, love is the most powerful thing.”

Taffeta still nestled her head into the crook of Jane’s knee as Jane did the dishes. It wasn’t that easy, because it was hard to make sense of everything that happened that night. She just wanted her momma to be safe, and she didn’t want anyone to hurt her, but it seemed that she was blindly putting herself in danger, just to make her poppa happy. It didn’t feel okay, at least, not to her. It didn’t feel . . .  **_ fair _ ** .

Taffeta tensed when she heard footsteps and watched Tim walk down the stairs. Her nails dug into Jane’s leg, which caused Jane to wince, but she was going easy on Taffeta – she knew that it would all just take time and Taffeta needed her to be gentle, nurturing, and patient  ( which was hard sometimes, but she was doing her best. Gentleness came easier to Jane when it was her  _ own  _ child that needed it. ).

“I grabbed some blankets for movie night,” Tim said. “I got your moth too, Taffeta.”

Taffeta didn’t answer, she simply squeezed as tight as she could onto Jane’s leg as she looked over her own shoulder to see him sit on the couch and look for a movie they could all watch together.

Jane soon put the last cup in the dishwasher, before she reached under the sink to grab a soap pod that she stuck in the dishwasher, and shut the dishwasher door to turn the dishwasher itself on.

She attempted to drag Taffeta to the couch on her leg, before she’d stop to take a few breaths and start again. She pulled Taffeta off her leg once she reached the couch, and sat her on the opposite end of the couch from Tim, before she sat between them.

“Go easy on your momma, lima bean,” Tim teased. “It’s not like she can carry you forever.”

Taffeta responded to this by climbing onto Jane’s lap and clinging to her like a baby koala, before she shot a look to him. If looks could kill, he would be a goner.

Jane furrowed her eyebrows in worry, before she rubbed Taffeta’s back and mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ at Tim. It wasn’t like Jane was telling her to do this, but she wasn’t going to stop Taffeta from expressing how she felt. Eventually, this all should pass.

He simply forced a smile before he looked over the shoulder to face the dining room and kitchen.

“Wow, did you get the dishes done  too ? ” he asked.

“Sure did,” Jane answered.

He leaned over and attempted to plant a kiss on Jane’s forehead, before Taffeta grabbed him by the nose and gently pushed him back.

He cleared his throat and adjusted on the couch before he grabbed one of the blankets.

“You want to share the  blanket ? ” he asked Jane.

“Sure,” Jane answered.

Tim tossed the blanket over both Jane and Taffeta, before he put his arm around Jane and leaned in to cuddle, but once again, he was stopped by Taffeta.

She got off of Jane before she pulled Jane to her by the arm.

Jane looked back to Tim and shrugged in defeat, before she snuggled up with Taffeta.

He still smiled, though his  demenor was a little less chipper as he grabbed one of the smaller blankets and put it over his legs that he had to fold up onto the couch., considering how long they were. He felt a little better once he felt Jane reach for his hand and give a squeeze.

“Oh look, another season of ‘Bachelorette  In Paradise’ !!” he exclaimed.

“That should be fun,” Jane agreed. “This is a show we used to watch all the time together when you were in my belly. I remember we watched this show after we got done talking about what we were going to name you if you were a boy or a girl.”

“You were going to be named ‘Keith Thaddeus Edward Willoughby’ if you were a boy,” Tim added. “ But, we’re glad you were a girl. We both really like ‘Taffeta Joy Willoughby’ a whole lot.”

Nothing came from Taffeta, as an awkward silence filled the air.

“Okay, let’s just watch the show . . .” Tim sighed. 


	22. A Quintessential Conversation

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 - 𝕋𝕨𝕠  :

𝔸 ℚ𝕦𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕝 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

◟ ◞

It was Christmas day and everyone was gathered at the  Melanoff house; all the little cousins  ( Taffeta , Shane, and  Billie ) , both the twins, Patience, Sabrina, Tim, Jane, Ruth, Indigo  ( who everyone was starting to suspect was Ruth’s  partner ) , and of course, Nanny and  Melanoff .

Some of the adults were with the kids as they decorated gingerbread men and Nanny made hot cocoa for everyone in the house, with  Melanoff at her side. Jane, A., and B. sat in the den, and attempted to figure out the smartwatch that he had gotten from Nanny that Christmas. Ruth and Indigo went to get some more spices to make a dessert for the whole family ( pound cake – cinnamon, to be more  specific ) . Sabrina and Patience sat at the table with the kids, and helped them decorate their gingerbread men. 

“Did you like your presents from Santa  Claus ? ” Melanoff asked the kids.

“Yes !!” Shane exclaimed. “I can’t believe he stopped by here too and he got us all dune buggies. I got a train set from him back at home !!”

“I got a bunch of stuffed animals and a bunch of zoo books !!” Billie exclaimed.

“Isn’t that fun ?” Nanny asked the kids. “What about you, Taffeta ? Did you get what you wanted from Santa this year ?”

“Some of it,” Taffeta sighed. “I didn’t get everything I wanted.”

“Sometimes the elves can’t get everything every single kid wants,” Nanny reasoned. “You do realize that they have to make toys for almost every kid around the globe ? It’s hard work !!”

That wasn’t what Taffeta meant. What she meant was that Tim was still at home, she wanted him to leave. If she had it her way, he would be in the ‘special hospital’ forever, so he could never hurt her momma ever again. She still wasn’t over what had happened, she was always terrified that one day he’d wake up and decide to get drunk again. She couldn’t read his mind, which was the scariest part of everything that was going on.

She looked out the window to see the heavy blanket of snow in the back of the house.

“Are you looking at the snow, Taffeta ?” Shane asked.

“After this, we should go and make a snowman together !!” Billie suggested.

“That sounds like a great idea, sweetheart,” Patience said.

“Maybe I could bring my snowball launcher that my dad got me,” Shane pondered. “Then we could have a snowball  fight !! Doesn’t that sound fun ?”

“Yeah !!” Billie agreed.

Shane furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at his cousin, who was now looking at the front door.

“Taffeta ?” he asked.

“ Hm ? ” Taffeta asked, as she was pulled back into the conversation.

“I said ‘doesn’t that sound like  fun ? ’,” Shane repeated.

“Oh, sure,” she answered.

She didn’t quite know what he was talking about, but with the mood she was in, she didn’t exactly care, even though she’d never say that out loud, to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.

“Cocoa’s ready,” Nanny called.

She came to the table and set down the personalized mugs she ordered off the internet, so everyone had a special one of their own when they came over, before she handed Tim’s to Taffeta.

“Can you go and give that one to your poppa ?” Nanny asked. “He’s in the front, by the bridge.”

Taffeta knitted her eyebrows in frustration, but she didn’t talk back, even though she really wanted to say no, and give the mug right back to her granny.

“Fine . . .” she sighed.

Nanny pinched her cheek and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, before she licked her thumb and wiped the red lipstick mark from off of Taffeta’s head.

“Thank you, tiny girlfriend,” she dismissed, before she went to give B. and Jane their hot cocoa.

Taffeta took the mug of cocoa with her to the front door as she muttered to herself how much she didn’t want to do this, and how much she didn’t want to be alone with her poppa. She set the mug on the small table in the entry way, as she took her cardigan off the rack, as well as her coat and earmuffs. She pulled her rubber boots over her feet and took her mittens out of her pockets. She picked up the mug again before she opened the front door to go outside.

She shivered at the feeling of cold air, as it hit her face and nose. It was still snowing, but not as hard as it was early that morning. She had stayed in bed that morning and watched the snow fall from her bed. Normally, she would have bolted out of bed as soon as the sun peaked over the horizon and jumped onto Tim and Jane’s bed, to get them up to see what Santa had brought her this year. This year was not like the others.

She made her way down the steps and listened to the satisfying crunch of the snow. At least there was that, and the snow was pretty when it fell. She continued on, around the factory wall. She looked up to see that the factory, normally illuminated with life was dark, since  Melanoff shut down the factory for the holidays. Luckily, there was still bounds of shipments that were already made and shipped off to other stores, to keep the stock up until the factory opened once again on January Second.

She looked at the wheat fields to see that the crops were dusted with powdery white snow. The lake that ran through the trench was frozen over, and the ducks had migrated for the winter (  surprisingly , considering that most of those ducks could barely  walk ) .

She sighed at she saw her poppa, sitting at the bridge, his legs dangling over the edge as he stared at the frozen water in the trench.

She approached him and held out the cup of cocoa.

He noticed the mug, before he took it in his hands.

“Thank you, lima bean,” he said.

He smiled at the sea of marshmallows that floated atop the warm cocoa that steamed out of the mug, before he took a sip and let of a content sigh.

“Granny makes the best cocoa,” he claimed.

She wanted to go back inside, but something compelled her to sit right next to him and look over the bridge, into the ice lake that was beneath them.

“If you look close enough, you can see that the lake is still running under all the ice,” Tim said. “There’s still fish and stuff under there.”

Taffeta squinted at the lake, to try and see what he was talking about. She looked at him in confusion as she still didn’t understand what he was talking about.

“I used to come out here all the time,” he continued. “To think.”

“What are you thinking  about ? ” she asked.

It wasn’t that she really cared, but it was to make conversation, since that was something that everyone seemed to be dying to see happen. She didn’t understand why. She didn’t want anything to do with him after putting the pieces of that night together. 

“I found a hospital I could go to,” he said. “But, it’s all the way in Portland.”

She furrowed her eyebrows when he said ‘Portland’. She had no idea where that was, they had only gotten to the states in their geography lessons.

“They’re not taking any visitors until March, but with the amount of time I’ll be there, I won’t be here for your birthday,” he sighed. “But the good thing is that they let me out of the hospital for weekend visits, so when you and momma come to  visit I can stay with you two for a little bit before I have to go back.”

“Why do you have to go  there ? ” she asked.

“Because, Taffeta, I made bad  ch -”

“No, it’s because you got drunk,” she said. “Why ?”

He sipped on his cocoa again.

“I . . . I don’t know if I can really answer that,” he said. “It’s a really long story, and I don’t think you’ll understand quite yet.”

“Tell me anyways,” she demanded. “Why ?”

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said. “When I was in high school, I was the good student, I got really good grades, I was in the student council, I was always seen as the good guy. Everyone always thought I was a goody – two – shoes, and I got tired of it after  awhile . Then, my friend, Annie, that died in a car accident, said that we should all go to a party, so I went. In the beginning, I was nervous, because I was this stupid, lanky junior in high school; my arms and legs were long and looked like noodles, I didn’t look much different than I do now, except I sweat a lot more, got nervous when I talked to girls, and my voice cracked a lot.”

She clicked her shoes together and looked down at the river as she listened to his story. It really didn’t make sense, but even her bedtime stories took  awhile before they got to the good parts. It wasn’t like Cinderella’s step – sisters got their feet cut up and eyes pecked out on the first page, they had to go through a lot of pages before that happened.

“Then Annie said that I should try some of the punch, and considering she was one of my best friends, I tried it . . . it was pretty good, and then my other best friend, Cate, added vodka to it, and while it didn’t taste very good, after  awhile , I felt better, I wasn’t as nervous around everyone, I didn’t feel like I sweat as much, because everyone was sweating . . . I felt good,” he claimed.

“The vodka made you feel  good ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Unfortunately,” he sighed. “It wasn’t a lot in the beginning, I would only drink at parties, and I didn’t go to a lot of parties, but I still went to a few of them, and one time, they sent me to go and get the alcohol, so I went into the liquor store on Sixth Street, and saw one of the guys in his senior that had dropped out, his name was Christopher Dang, but everyone called him ‘Skip’ because someone ran over his foot with their pickup truck and he always walked with a limp.”

“I’m guessing he’s the bad guy of this  story ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Sort of, he’s not really a good guy,” Tim clarified. “ But, that doesn’t mean that I’m really a good guy in the story either. Sometimes, there’s stories where there aren’t any good guys.”

She bit both of her lips together at that statement, because at this point in her life, every story had a good guy. “Cinderella” had Cinderella and the Prince, “Little Red Riding Hood” had Little Red Riding Hood and the Woodsman, “The Wizard of Oz” had Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion. There had to be some sort of good guy in a story, because it was a sad story otherwise.

“He worked the counter because he had a fake I.D that said he was old enough to work there, and he said that he’d give me the alcohol as well as something else to spice up the party for a little extra. Being the dumb kid I was at the time, I went with the deal,” Tim continued. “I really wanted to be cool, so I would do anything to get the alcohol for the party, and then he threw in bags of cocaine -”

“What’s  that ? ” Taffeta inquired.

She was now genuinely interested in the story, because she had never heard stories about alcohol, or whatever cocaine was  ( she assumed it was bad by the way he talked about  it ) , and this was something new. It wasn’t like something you’d read in a book, or watch in a movie, and the craziest part was that her poppa lived through all of this. This was a true story that actually happened to him. There was something so . . .  **_ raw  _ ** about it.

“It’s uh . . . it’s this white powder, that looks a lot like flour or baking powder,” he reasoned. “People sniff it up their nose and it messes with their head – makes them nervous, violent. It’s against the law to have, and overall, not good for people.”

“Did you sniff it ?” Taffeta asked.

“Yes.” he stated.

There was no beating around the bush anymore. She had to know the truth, and if she had questions, he’d explain. Maybe she was too young for this, but at this point, she knew far too much and there wasn’t any reason to lie about it. If he lied, he’d only make it worse for himself in the long – run. She might hate him for this story, and she may never truly understand why he did these things, but the smallest glimpse of hope for the best – case scenario was that it would bring them closer, and mend whatever had  broken between them.

She was silent as she stared over the edge.

“It wasn’t smart of me, and I’ll never say it was,” he sighed. “But I brought all of it to the party and me, as well as a bunch of other students drank and did a lot of drugs, and after that night, my body felt like I needed more.”

“M - More . . . what ?” Taffeta stuttered.

“Of everything, more cocaine, more alcohol, because those things trick you into feeling good, when in reality, they’re making you worse,” he said. “I was dependent on those things to just live after awhile, and it really changed who I was as a person – I dragged people into my habits, like your uncles and your momma.”

“Did they  ever . . . do the bad things  too ? ” she asked.

“Not really,” he answered. “Your Uncle A. and I did a few bad things together, back then, we were really close, but we were both making very bad choices. I was constantly on drugs or drunk, and he was with a girl that treated him really badly, so he felt like doing drugs and drinking was the only way to help himself. He ended up stopping after a little bit, and he really wanted me to stop too. He hated what was going on with me, and he wanted me to do good with my life. He believed in me for a long time, until I really messed up, and I . . . I made a really big mistake.”

“What kind of mistake ?” Taffeta asked. “Did you hurt someone ?”

“Kind of . . . well, almost,” he cleared up. “That’s a story for another time.”

He truly didn’t want to think about the events that unfolded that night – Annie and Cate, the drugs, the booze, the disgusting perverts looking for young and fresh meat, Jane at the senior party . . . she was terrified . . . he couldn’t face what happened that night; what he did, what he became. He wished he could forget that night, but he knew that he would never be able to, he was cursed with remembering – thank the cosmos that Jane was so drugged up and drunk, because she didn’t remember a damn thing. He wouldn’t wish remembering that night upon anyone.

“Y - Your Uncle B. was the last one out of the siblings to find out, because your Aunt Ruth heard granny and grandpop argue with me about it all when I came home absolutely wasted,” he continued. “Your momma came with me a few times, to get drugs. She never did any, they made her nervous – well, both the people and the drugs did, but even though she acted like she was mad at me for dragging her along, she kept coming, because she wanted to keep me  safe . . . I should’ve protected her better . . . I knew there were going to be things out there that hurt her. Hurting is a part of life. I should’ve never let one of those things be me.”

She hesitated for a second, because she didn’t know if this next move was a good choice, but one thing she learned from most of the family is ‘hug others, not because you want to, but because they might need it’, and she knew he was in  desperate need of a hug.

She wrapped her arms around him and for the first time in  awhile , his touch felt . . . good. His presence was soothing, and warm. She smelled the nice cologne that he had opened up back at their house, unlike the sickeningly sweet smell of Peaches and Cream vodka that he had drank for what seemed to be forever. His smell was familiar, the touch was familiar, it was like . . . she needed this too. She couldn’t help but to feel the tears build up on her face, before she muffled her cries into his cashmere coat.

He pulled his arm out from the space between his body and her own, before he pulled her into his lap. Her face left a sticky snot trail from where her face was, before the snot bubbled out her nose and onto the chest of his coat. He realized that, within these past few weeks, he had hurt her too, and she deserved to hear an apology. Not like the one the other day, because he was begging for her to forgive him so everything can go back to normal, and that was selfish. He now realized that, no, it would never be the same again, but he wasn’t the only one that was suffering because of it.

He squeezed her tight in his arms, with one hand cradling her back, and the other holding her head, much like he would do when she was just a little lima bean that needed to be in her little  sockies , swaddled in a blankie, so her  feeties don’t get cold. When she was his little lima bean that was so sheltered and protected from the world, because that’s what she was supposed to be for a very long time. He ruined that wonderful child innocence that she deserved. He messed up.

“I’m sorry, Taffeta,” he apologized. “You didn’t deserve to hurt either. I should’ve never let you see me like that. I should’ve never  _ done  _ that. You’re supposed to be one of the most  _ important  _ people in the entire world to me, and I can’t believe that I lost sight of how  _ important  _ you  _ are _ . I want to go to this hospital, so I can never, ever do what I did ever again, because you and your momma deserve  _ better  _ than that, so I’m trying to be better for the both of you.”

He used his thumb to wipe away some of her tears, because he knew that her face would get cold and she could get very sick if he just allowed her to have a wet face. On top of that, he didn’t want her to have to cry and snot all over herself. He was there to help her dry her eyes and clean her face, it was his job as a parent, and he knew he needed to be great at it. Unlike other dads, he actually willingly took the position of being a dad, because he didn’t help make Taffeta, but he’ll be damned if he didn’t say he was going to be there to raise her. She needed someone like that in her life – he needed to be that person for her.

“But remember, nothing I’ve done in the past few weeks is yours or your momma’s fault,” he reminded. “It’s mine, and the worst part about all of this is that you and your momma had to suffer because of it. It’s not fair to either of you, and if I could go back in time to fix it all, I would in a heartbeat.”

He pulled her closer to plant a kiss on her forehead, as he whispered that he was sorry as many times as he could, because she needed to know.

“But why did you do it again ?” she asked.

“I wish I could answer that,” he sighed. “There really isn’t a good answer for why I did it again. I could say I was stressed out, but still, nothing should stress me out that much. I have you and your momma . . . I shouldn’t be so stressed out.”

Taffeta sniffled, before she wiped her tears and snot with her jacket.

Tim stuffed his hand into his pocket before he pulled out a packet of tissues, so she wouldn’t have to get slimy, gross snot all over her outfit  ( he knew Jane would be pretty upset if it got super dirty. They still had to take pictures. ). He allowed her to take as many as she thought she needed before he put it back in his pocket.

She wiped her face and nose with the tissues.

“B - But you still have work,” she reasoned. “And that’s stressful, b – because Rick f – from M – Marketing is annoying. It’s like Whitney.”

Tim shrugged before he allowed Taffeta to settle in his lap.

“Sure, I guess,” he agreed.  ”But I need to find other ways to deal with my stress that doesn’t involve hurting you guys. I want to make things better, I really do.”

They sat in silence and watched the snow fall as their legs swung over the edge of the bridge. It was dark and gloomy with the amount of snow clouds that covered the sky  ( but in all reality, the only time New York City was sunny was in the summer, and even then, there was pollution and smog . ) . At least, finally, since the past few weeks, they had  eachother . It was nice to have the company of the other.

They missed eachother.

Tim shivered as the snow piled around the both of them. Taffeta’s footprints were barely visible in the snow, and his cocoa was beginning to get rather cold – no steam came from the mug anymore and the mug itself was lukewarm at best.

“We should probably go back inside,” he suggested.

“Yeah,” Taffeta agreed. “Shane and Billie wanted to do a snowball fight.”

“We should clean up your face first,” Tim claimed. “Or else you’ll be able to use your boogers as chopsticks.”

“ Ew !!” she laughed.

“Then we should go in,” he said.

Tim picked her up and held her in his arms as he carried her back  inside.He shook his head in an attempt to get the snow that had begun to collect in in hair out, though it proved to be pointless as the old snow was simply replaced by the new snow. They eventually made it back to the house before Tim shook off at the front porch, before Taffeta copied him. They stomped the snow from their boots on the welcome mat, before they went inside and both hung up their coat.

Taffeta went up the stairs to one of the bathrooms to clean up her face, before Tim met with Jane in the living room.

“Son of a bitch,” B. muttered. “This watch is so damn hard to mess with.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the mechanical genius ?” Jane asked.

“I told you to let me try,” A. reminded. “Maybe I can figure the thing out ?”

“I don’t want you to break it !!” B. exclaimed. “Your fingers are too fat !!”

“You’re both identical twins,” Tim pointed out. “Both of you have fat fingers.”

“I do not !!” they both chorused at the same time.

Jane and Tim both looked at  eachother before they smiled and shook their heads.

“So, how’d it go ?” Jane asked.

“Well, we talked,” Tim answered. “ But, I think we’re okay now. We’ll see how the next few days  go , if there’s any changes.”

“She let you carry her,” Jane claimed. “For the past few weeks, she barely let you come near her. I’d say you did something right out there.”

Tim smiled and huffed on his balled fist, before he acted like he shined his knuckles on his shirt.

She playfully shoved his arm, before she shook her head again.

“ Ooo , get a room, you guys,” Shane called from the dining room.

“The mistletoe’s by the front door if you guys are going to make out,” Billie added.

Both boys laughed, before Sabrina cleared her throat and Patience lightly swatted Shane in the shoulder and shook her head. These little acts of scolding meant nothing, as they still high fived  eachother and continued to giggle at their little teases.

“You guys think that’s gross ?” Jane asked.

She leaned over and planted a million little smooches all over Tim, which caused the two boys to shriek in laughter as the twins gagged, and their partners  stifled a laugh of their own.

Taffeta came back down the stairs and went to the table.

“Are you guys ready for a snowball  fight ? ” she asked.

Both of her cousins excitedly agreed, before the three kids clambered off the table to rush and put their boots and coats on.


	23. Serendipity Means Staying Together

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪  \- 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖  :

𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕄𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

◟ ◞

Jane finished tucking Taffeta into bed and planted a soft kiss on her daughter’s forehead. It had been a long day for everyone, but Jane was simply happy to see Taffeta and Tim getting along once again. She watched from the dining room as she sipped on her second cup of cocoa while A., Patience, B., Tim, Taffeta, Shane, and Billie played out in the snow. She gave Sabrina motherly advice, because Sabrina didn’t seem to be super on board with the whole ‘becoming a mom’ thing. All Jane could hope for is for Sabrina to feel differently once hers and B.’s twins are born.

She walked down the stairs to see that Smokey, Grandpa, Mortimer, and Edith had found their places in the cat tree that Jane had bought for them  ( they’d scratched their old one all the way down to the  core ) . Dot was picked up by Ruth, who took the cat back to Nanny and  Melanoff’s . 

She noticed that Tim was still awake and on his computer. He looked exhausted, but that was a given. They weren’t exactly young kids anymore. She threw out her shoulder taking the bags of food from a Ham Bros. drive – thru just a few weeks ago  ( well , credit where credit was due, the window was a little higher than the  car ) . She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, before she put her head in the crook of his neck.

“ Whatcha doin ’ ?” she asked.

“Looking at the rehab center in Maine,” he sighed.

“What’s wrong ?” she asked. “Are you having second thoughts ?”

“I’m just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you and Taffeta,” he claimed. “It’s nearly five and a half hours away. I’d feel bad asking you guys to drive that almost every weekend, and the gas money would be through the roof. I wouldn’t be putting any money in and we’re saving the money in the attic for Taffeta when she gets older -”

“You’ve always been a worrywart,” she teased. “Taffeta and I will be fine no matter which hospital you choose. Hey, maybe we could take the plane a few times. It would be a new experience for her, since she’s never been in an airport before.”

“An airport’s boring for an adult,” Tim reasoned. “Don’t you think she’ll get restless after  a while too ? ”

He did have a point. When she went to Laguna Beach in California with Nikki and Andrea for spring break their senior year of high school, she got pretty bored inside the airport. They could only be on Pictogram so much before they got bored. Luckily, they had a brief break where they ate cinnamon rolls and coffee before their flight out. The real fun was when they got to Andrea’s family’s vacation home  ( that is until Nikki and Andrea had the idea that they should invite over a bunch of boys, which made Jane uncomfortable to say the least. Thankfully, she video chatted with Tim in the guest house until everyone was either gone or passed out. ).

“I’m sure we’ll find ways to entertain ourselves,” Jane reassured. “Hey, maybe we could play ‘I Spy’ or airport bingo for  awhile .”

“ Hey . . .” he said.

His voice was quiet, which was worrisome to her.

“Hey ?”

“If you end up meeting someone while I’m gone, don’t hesitate to let them in,” he said. “This might give you time to get back out there, and find someone that’s not . . . me. You know, a real dad for Taffeta. An actual -”

“Tim, stop it,” Jane interjected. “You are my life partner, and I don’t want anyone else but you.”

She felt a warmth come off of him and laughed to herself as she saw his face heat up in the reflection of one of the picture frames he had on the desk.

“ But, then you could have someone that you could  **_ sleep  _ ** with, you  know ? ” he pointed out.

She laughed even more at his concern.

“That’s one of the reasons I like being with you,” she claimed. “I don’t have to do  the . . . the  ol ’ bedroom rodeo with you.”

“Actually sleeping next to you feels like a bedroom rodeo sometimes,” he teased. "But you do realize they you’re really pretty, right ? Any guy that ever made love to you would be one of the luckiest guys out there -”   
She continued to laugh at his panic before she playfully hit him upside the head.

“Okay there, killer,” she snickered. “I’m not worried about being good enough for someone else, I’m comfortable with who I am. I just . . . I don’t like relationships.”

“They’re not all bad,” he reassured. “Not everyone’s a Queen or a Troy -”

“Tim, I’m asexual,” she stated. “ Aromantic \- asexual, to be exact.”

“What ?”

“Like how A.’s bisexual, because he’s attracted to both men and women,” Jane attempted to explain. “I’m not really attracted to anybody. The amount of love and affection I get from you and Taffeta is enough . . . unless, you’re the one that wants a wife ?”

“I want you,” he said.

She loosened her grip on him, before she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Th - That’s not what I meant !!” he stuttered. “That came out wrong. What I meant was, I’m happy with being with you, forever, for the rest of our lives. I just . . . I didn’t want to stop you if you from going out and looking for other people if that was something you wanted to do.”

“Even if I did have the desire to see other people, nobody could ever walk in here and replace you,” she soothed. “You’re Taffeta’s poppa, and she doesn’t need another one. I let you into her life because there’s nobody that I trust more with that responsibility than you.”

“I really have been messing it up lately,” he sighed.

“But look, you’re trying to make it all better,” she encouraged. “You’re going to  rehab, you’re still making the effort to be in her life. That’s as good as it gets right now, and it’ll only get better the more you try.”

“Why do you care about me so  much ? ” he asked.

“Because, you’re my partner, Tim,” Jane soothed. “You’re the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. You’re the person I want to have every adventure with. You’re the person I want to wake up and see, and the person I want to fall asleep next to every day.”

He sighed and leaned onto her chest.

“You really mean the world to me,” he said.

She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, before she scratched her nails through his hair.

“You are my world,” she claimed.

“You don’t have to make it a competition,” he teased.

“Nobody said it was a competition,” she pointed out. “But I know you’d let me win anyway.”

“I would,” he admitted.

She playfully stuck her tongue out at him before he sat back up and looked over the online entry  sheet he had to enter to the website to allow them to know that he was booking their next available slot in March.

“Do you think you can pause for the  night ? ” she asked. “It’s Christmas, and I want to spend time with you.”

“Didn’t we already spend time together at Nanny and  Melanoff’s ?” he joked.

“Shut up and get off the computer,” she laughed. “I want to make us hot cocoa and we can watch Christmas movies.”

“’Drive By Five ; Staying Alive’ isn’t a Christmas movie,” he claimed.

“It happens on Christmas,” Jane claimed. “They have to get all of the blocks of weed out of Santa’s workshop before Santa has to deliver the toys for Christmas and doesn’t take all the weed with him.”

“How did the bag of toys get mixed up for a whole entire sack of  weed ? ” Tim asked. “Besides, wouldn’t Santa smell it ?”

“You’re taking all the fun out of the movie,” Jane whined. “Maybe he doesn’t smell it because the workshop smells like cookies, cinnamon, and yuletide cheer ?”

“It’s called a plot hole, Jane,” Tim teased.

“You’re a plot hole,” Jane mocked like a child.

“No, you’re a plot hole,” he mocked back.

Both sibling laughed at  eachother , before Jane went to the kitchen and put on a pot of milk to head up, while she looked for hot cocoa mix, chocolate bars, and candy canes ( her secret ingredient ).

Tim saved the sheet on his computer, before he shut down the computer.

“I’m going to go upstairs and change into my pajamas,” he said.

He didn’t want to settle down in a button up shirt and dress pants, and the Christmas sweater that Nanny insisted he put on as soon as he opened it was starting to get itchy, especially around the neck. He went upstairs, before he checked in Taffeta’s room to see her sound asleep.

Her toys she had gotten were set up, such as the wooden kitchen set that Tim and Jane had bought for her, and the small electric guitar sat next to the amp – both of which ‘Santa’ had brought her  ( and he spent a good few hundred dollars on that guitar ). She probably had a pretty rough day, no kid should cry on Christmas, but at least, hopefully, she’d be able to understand just a little bit more now. He went into the room to plant a kiss on her head too, before he left her room, shut the door, and went into the master bedroom.

Instead of wearing the typical long sleeve shirt and sweatpants, he chose to wear the matching plaid set of pajamas he had gotten from Nanny and  Melanoff , along with a robe that was warm and fuzzy on the outside, while it was silk on the inside  ( that was from A., as a reminder of what happened the night of A.’s wedding. It was funny to look back on now, but that still didn’t mean that he didn’t have any regret towards his actions – he missed out on Taffeta’s birth, for cosmos sake. ).

He tied his robe and went downstairs. He was greeted by the smell of warm cocoa as he came down the stairs. He saw Jane in the kitchen as she put whipped cream over top of their cocoa. He went to the living room, before he took his phone out of his robe pocket and he placed the phone in the radio dock. He played soft, smooth jazz from a ’Christmas Jazz’ playlist.

“What are you doing,  you dork ?” she giggled.

He motioned for her to come and join him before he put one hand on her waist and held the other, while she grabbed onto his shoulder. He smiled as he looked down with her.

“Remember how you didn’t dance with me at prom ?” she asked.

He scoffed and shook his head.

“I mean, I don’t remember much, but I do remember that,” she claimed. “I remember drinking in your car too . . . if  only I’d known back then what would’ve came from stupid, teenage drinking.”

“I was drinking long before that,” he reassured. “Do you remember that you broke my nose ?”

“Probably because you didn’t dance with me,” she laughed.

“ Really ? ” he asked. “Don’t you think that people would’ve made fun of  you ? I was such a loser back then.”

“You were not !!” she exclaimed.

“I looked like a stick figure with a bowlcut,” he laughed. “You were still really pretty back then. Guys thought you were really hot. I mean, I defended you, because they’d be all gross about it, but they did like you.”

“They liked what I could give them,” she said. “They wouldn’t want me to stay the night. If someone slept with me, it would’ve been just clout to them.”

“I’m glad you’re smarter than that,” he said. “Well, I’m glad you’re asexual too. Does being asexual have anything to do with me – like did I make you asexual ?”

“Why would you make me  asexual ?”she asked.

“I don’t know,” he laughed nervously. “I was just curious to see if I was part of the reason.”

“You, Timothy Anthony Malachy Willoughby, are not anywhere close to a part of my sexuality,” she claimed. “That would be like asking you if I’m the reason you’re straight – ish.”

“I’m straight !!” he exclaimed.

“You had a crush on a guy once,” Jane reminded.

“That was one time !!”

“Still not very heterosexual of you.”

He stuck his tongue out at her before she stuck her tongue out back.

She leaned her head onto his chest and sighed quietly.

“I’ve missed this,” she said.

“Making fun of  me ? ” he asked.

“You.”

“Oh,” he responded. “I’ve missed you too.”

“See how much nicer it is when you’re not  drinking ? ” she asked. “I know you would’ve never wanted to dance with me in the kitchen if you were drunk, or high.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Hopefully going to rehab works this time. I mean, I know I have to put in most of the effort, I need to be the one that makes the change, but still, maybe being away from everything for a while might make me feel better about stopping.”

“I can’t wait for you to get better,” she soothed. “I need you in my life.”

“And I need you in mine . . .” he paused for a moment. “Partner.”

“Are we cowboys  now ? ” she laughed.

“Yee - haw, boy, howdy,” he joked, putting on a fake cowboy voice.

“Stop it !!” Jane laughed.

“You guys are gross.”

They looked over to see Taffeta with her crutches as she walked into the kitchen.

“What are you doing up, lima  bean ? ” Tim asked. 

“I just came to get some water,” she claimed. “I’m thirsty.”

Jane let go of Tim before she grabbed a glass from the cabinet before she filled the glass with water as Taffeta went and sat at the table. She rubbed her eyes and yawned before Tim went and joined her at the table.

“So, how was all of Chirstmas ?” he asked.

“Good,” she yawned. “It was funny to watch Uncle B. put a snowball in Uncle A.’s pants.”

Tim felt himself cringe in empathy. Snow or ice around one’s butt or genitals was not a pleasant sensation, and once that happened to him  ( courtesy of A. ), he found out how uncomfortable it really was.

“I liked building the snow fort outside,” Tim claimed. “I’m kind of surprised that it fit almost everyone in there – well, Auntie Patience had to have her legs out the door, but it almost fit everyone in.”

“I can’t believe Santa gave us all dune buggies to go around Grandpop’s property in,” Taffeta said. “Billie said we should go on a safari in them when the ducks come back in the spring.”

“I still can’t believe those ducks can fly,” Tim chuckled. “They’re all so fattened up on Lickety Twists, Surprise Eggs, and frosting.”

Jane came back to the table and set down the glass of water where Taffeta sat.

“I’m going to go and change into my new pajamas,” she said. “They looked so warm when I opened them.”

“Okay, dear,” he said. “We’ll be waiting.”

“I got Jane and Lima in my egg,” Taffeta said. “I like Lima, and their fluffy chick hair.”

“Did you know that I made Lima off of  you ? ” he asked. “When we found out that your momma was going to have you, you were as big as a lima bean, and that’s how you got your nickname.”

“Really ?” she asked.

“Well, of course, you grew since then, but once upon a time, you were about . . . this little,” he paused.

He put his fingers at about half an inch away from eachother before he showed her.

“And you were in momma’s tummy,” he finished.

“Were you guys all in granny’s tummy ?” she asked.

“Not exactly,” Tim clarified. “Your momma, myself, Aunt Ruth, and your uncles are all adopted - like Phoebe. So, someone else was our mom, but eventually, your granny came and she took us out of that house, and then we went to live with granny and grandpop when we were all kids.”

“Phoebe’s adopted too ?” Taffeta asked. “But she looks almost exactly like Mister Lars and Missus Celeste.”

“She was lucky to get parents that look a lot like her,” Tim laughed. “People had a lot of questions, since we don’t look like granny or grandpop. We all looked a lot like our birth parents. For years, and years, and years, a lot of the Willoughby family looked a lot like  eachother . If I were to show you pictures of your twenty times great grandma, you would look a lot like her, with the red hair, pointy nose, freckles. Our birth father was almost bald at my age.”

“Bald ?” Taffeta asked. “Like Uncle A. and Uncle B. ?”

“Even worse,” Tim laughed. “And he had a pencil thin mustache. Every Willoughby has a mustache, even the women. It shows how great we all are.”

“Why don’t you, momma, and Uncle B. have mustaches ?” Taffeta asked. “Am I going to get a mustache one day ?”

“Well, your Uncle B. and momma wax them off because it makes their lips sweaty,” Tim explained. “I’ve never been able to grow one. We don’t know why, it’s just never came in. Hopefully one day, you’ll have a mustache that’s as glorious as the great  Willoughbys of old.”

“Well, at least you’re not going bald,” Taffeta said. “Every time I see Uncle A. or Uncle B.’s bald spot, I always think a baby bird’s going to pop out of it, like an egg.”

Tim laughed softly at the image of a baby bird popping out of one of the twins’ heads. A baby bird could definitely make a nest out of the hair those two still had, because while it was falling out, it was still very healthy and voluminous. There was still enough hair for both of them to cover up the bald spot, and A. could still put his hair in a ponytail.

Jane came back downstairs in the matching silk pajama set with an embroidered ‘J’ on the right side of it, along with some blankets for them to all lay on the couch together.

“Alright  Taff ,” Jane said. “It’s time for you to head back up to your room.”

“Aw, momma,” Taffeta pouted. “I wanted to stay down here with you guys !!”

“Jane, it’s not a big deal,” Tim claimed. “She’s on winter break.”

Jane sighed before she shook her head.

“I guess we’re going to have to pick a different movie to watch,” she said. “What’s something you want to watch,  Tim ? ”

“I saw previews to this new movie, ‘Twelve Dates  Of Christmas’,” he claimed. “It’s about a hardworking makeup shop CEO who ends up going on speed dates right before Christmas and she ends up going on dates with these twelve guys, and she has to figure out who’s her one true love before Christmas or else she’s never going to get married according to her fairy godmother.”

“Like Cinderella ?” Taffeta beamed.

“Yeah, you could say that !!” Tim agreed.

“Those movies are all the same,” Jane groaned. “All the actors and actresses look the same, the plotlines are predictable, and it’s all just a bunch of sappy romance.”

“I want to watch Christmas Cinderella,” Taffeta stated.

“I would also like to watch Christmas Cinderella,” Tim agreed. “Two against one. We can watch your movie afterwards, Jane.”

“You’re a child,” she said. “Fine, Christmas Cinderella.”

Tim and Taffeta got up from the table before they joined Jane on the couch. Taffeta sat between Tim and Jane, surprisingly, and leaned her head under the crook of Tim’s arm, before they all bundled up under a big blanket and Tim took the remote to go to their streaming services and went to find the movie he was talking about, before he turned it on. They decided to drink their hot cocoa over the course of the movie and ha to explain to Taffeta that it was too late for little girls to have hot cocoa, or else she’d be bouncing off the walls.

The opening was cheesy, as the main character, named Cynthia was leaving her big CEO building and went out into the snow, and she met twelve different guys, all with rather basic names, like Greyson, Caden, Connor, Tyler, Trent, Channing, so on.

“It’s going to be that Channing guy,” Jane said.

“Momma, don’t spoil it !!” Taffeta pouted.

“What makes you think  that ? ” Tim asked.

“Because the girl’s name is Cynthia, which sounds like Cinderella, and the guy’s name is Channing, which sounds like ‘charming’, as in Prince Charming,” Jane pointed out. “They’re obviously going for a Cinderella thing here.”

“But what about her chemistry with Caden ?” Tim asked. “They both have a hardworking ethic and run big businesses.”

“A relationship like that would never work out,” Jane claimed. “They’d both be working all the time.”

“Shh, you guys, I’m trying to watch the movie !!” Taffeta scolded.

Tim and Jane shook their heads and directed their attention towards the movie as it followed the rather  predictable plot, and of course, Jane was right, as Cynthia ended up eloping with Channing at the end of the movie and they lived happily ever after.

“Happy ?” he asked. “You got the ending you wanted.”

“Like everyone didn’t see that coming ?” Jane asked. “I still don’t get these romance movies.”

“They’re sweet !!” Tim exclaimed.

“They’re gross !!” Jane argued.

“Taffeta, are they sweet or gross ?” Tim asked.

There wasn’t a response. He nudged her before he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Lima bean ?”

They picked up the blanket to see that she had fallen back asleep between the two of them.

“Well, obviously, they’re boring,” Jane laughed.

“Shut up,” he teased. “I’m going to take her upstairs.”

“Well, I’m putting on ‘Drive  By Five’,” Jane said. “It’s my turn to watch a movie that’s not full of sappy romance and stuff.”

“Whatever,” he said.

He picked Taffeta back up and cradled her in his arms before he carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom, where he tucked her into her bed, kissed her head again, and put the stuffed moth she loved so dearly into her arms again. He went back down the stairs to see that the movie had started playing, the cats were asleep in their tree, and Jane was laying on the couch. Tim walked around the couch to see Jane snuggled up under a blanket, asleep.

So much for her movie.

He took the remote from her before turned the T.V off and went around the house to turn the light off so only the Christmas tree was left alight. He put the remote back under the T.V, where it normally went, before he picked Jane up. He left the blankets where they were, because they could fold them tomorrow.

He carried her back up the stairs and tucked her into her side of the bed. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, before he went to his side of the bed and laid under the blanket. He cuddled close to her, and put one arm around her in order to hold her hand as they slept.

“You’re my world times infinity,” he whispered.

He closed his eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.

It was a long day, and he knew the coming days would be even longer, especially when he was in rehab. It wasn’t like the environment was bad, it was quite comforting. Most of the time, the people in a rehab center are caring and accommodating, but the fact he wouldn’t be there to tuck his little lima bean in bed, and that he wouldn’t be able to dance in the kitchen or cuddle with Jane for a few months would really take its toll on him emotionally.

He was simply going to enjoy these little moments while they lasted, because that’s all he could really do at the moment.


	24. Road To Effervescense

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 - 𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣  :

ℝ𝕠𝕒𝕕 𝕋𝕠 𝔼𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖

◟ ◞

It was long roads of flat land and Tim was on his way to rehab. It seemed like forever, but he was only in Pennsylvania, there was still a little way to go before he was in Maine. He pulled into a small gas station in order to put gas in his car and stop for snacks and drinks. He saw a small little concession stand in the corner. There were a few rather lonely tables, with the exception of an elderly couple and a shaky, young  ( possibly teenage ) boy. He approached the counter before he looked at the bright, fluorescent signs with the food offered.

“Hi sir,” the  middle aged woman behind the counter greeted. “Is there something that catches you eye ?”

He let off a soft, thoughtful ‘hm’, before he noticed that he could order a chili dog and a large root beer.

“The chili dog and a large root beer, please,” he answered.

“Coming right up.”

He glanced behind his shoulder to see the teenager, scratching his arms through the red jacket he wore. The sight was all too familiar for him. When he was in law school, he was the same way – paranoid, twitchy, constantly on edge. He couldn’t just leave the kid  there . . . maybe the kid just needed someone to listen  to ? He knew, back when he was completely submerged in that mindset, he needed someone there for him too.

He watched as the chili dog and soda was placed on the counter, before he paid for it. He went and sat next to the boy and rose an eyebrow, as he saw a single cup of nacho cheese in the kid’s hands as he drank it. He started to eat his own food as he watched this kid in confusion.

“Is that good ?” Tim asked.

The kid flinched before he relaxed again. He didn’t answer, but he sipped on the nacho cheese once again.

“Waiting on your  parents ? ” he asked.

“No,” the kid finally answered.

“Oh, kicking it on your own ?” Tim questioned.

“Sort of,” the kid answered.

“Me too, sort of,” Tim said. “I’m going somewhere, but unfortunately I can’t take my family with me. I got a partner, and a kid.”

“I had a girlfriend,” the kid claimed. “I don’t know what’s going on with that. I don’t even think Lady likes me anymore. I wouldn’t blame her. I hate me.”

Tim jumped slightly at the statement, it was a bold statement, full of young people angst. He remembered those days, where he felt the same feelings that this poor kid was feeling. It was a constant agony for someone so young, and you feel so alone within those thoughts because everyone around you seems to be enjoying their lives so much. The truth is, you’re not alone.

“That’s a bold statement,” he claimed. “What’s there to hate about you, kid ?”

“I just suck,” the kid responded.

“Everyone kind of sucks,” Tim reasoned.

He leaned in closer to the kid and whispered.

“Maybe that old man has been cheating on his wife for nearly forty years with their housekeeper, and the woman at the register steals from a charity fund to go and gamble.”

The kid managed to force a laugh, before he sipped on the nacho cheese a little more.

“You do realize that you don’t have to drink nacho cheese, right ?” Tim questioned.

“I can’t buy anything else on the menu,” the kid sighed.

“Parents cut you off your allowance ?” Tim teased.

“They kicked me out of the house,” the kid admitted. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“What did they do that for ?” Tim asked.

“I’m . . . it’s a long story,” the kid said.

“I got time,” Tim soothed.

“It all happened by accident,” the kid started. “I went with a few friends to someone’s birthday party, and people were doing heroin, so I tried it, and then . . .”

“You couldn’t  stop ? ” Tim asked.

“Yeah,” the kid agreed. “So, I was out, every night, doing heroin, and I always came home high. I have a little sister – well, she’s fourteen, but she’s still my sister, and eventually, I took her with me to my dealer’s house and they made her feel super uncomfortable, and they kept on trying to get her to do gross, sexual stuff with people in the room, even me. My parents found out, and they kicked me out of the house, which I deserve.”

“Well, that’ll do it,” Tim confirmed. “Have you ever thought about going to rehab, and getting  clean ? It’s hard to get clean on your own.”

“Isn’t rehab expensive ?” the kid asked. “I really don’t have the money -”

“The place I’m going to does teen rehabilitation free on the first stay,” Tim claimed. “But, it’s far, far away. Portland, Maine.”

“How would I even get there ?” he asked. “I don’t have a car.”

“I could take you,” Tim offered. “I got room for another in my car. You can call your parents and girlfriend when we get there.”

“I’m not going anywhere with anyone until you tell me your name,” the kid said.

“Tim Willoughby, I’m from New York City, I live with my sister, our kid and four cats,” Tim introduced. “And you are ?”

“Theo MacDonald, I’m from . . . here, and I don’t have anywhere to go,” the kid, or Theo answered. “My sister’s name is Juliet, and we had four dogs, named Burns, Missy, Sweetie – Pie, who ended up being a boy, and she had a therapy dog named Agnes.”

Tim laughed at Theo’s dogs’ names, because the stories were so similar to his own. Theo’s whole story seemed to mirror Tim’s. Maybe, this trip to rehab, and he’ll turn his whole life around for the better, go to college, rebuild his relationship with his family, and he won’t have to go down the hard road of addiction.

“My sister has a cat named Smokey, that we used to have when we were still kids, and then we adopted another cat named Grandpa when we moved in together,” Tim started. “Then our daughter found a cat that she named Mortimer, that ended up being a girl. Then, Mortimer had kittens, and I adopted Edith.”

“So, when you say ‘our’ daughter, does that mean you and your  sister . . . you know ?” Theo asked.

He mimed two of his fingers going in and out of a hole he made with his other hand.

Tim furrowed his eyebrows before he shook his head.

“Absolutely not,” he said. “My sister went and did artificial insemination, because her ex wanted kids, but she’s  aromantic – asexual, which she didn’t know until after she broke up with him, or he broke up with her. She didn’t want to get rid of the baby, so she ended up having the kid, and I was there to step in as a father figure, and I think of her as my own. I couldn’t have kids myself, so our kid is the closest I have, but I still love her like I would my own kids.”

“My sister got pregnant too,” Theo claimed. “By her ex . . . they broke up when he found out.”

“Is she planning on keeping them ?” Tim asked.

“She lost the baby,” Theo commented. “My parents say that it’s a blessing in disguise, because she’s so young, but you  know ? She lost a life, it took  its toll on her, she was devastated. They just . . . didn’t care. I was going to help her out, and I was trying to work up to a manager position at Ham Bros. before I got fired.”

“What did they fire you  for ? ” Tim asked.

Theo rolled up his sleeve to show the track marks in his arms.

“I failed a drug test,” Theo said.

Tim let off a ‘Hm’ of acknowledgement. In all of his years of doing drugs and booze, he had always gotten away with coming to work tipsy or high, but he worked in an office setting his entire life, so it wasn’t like he was ever really talking to people all day. He’d sit in his office, do his paperwork, and get the day  oer with, until he’d go home and drink or do more drugs while Queen was out shopping or gambling.

“I liked my job too, or at least, I liked when I’d cook the burgers or fry the waffle fries,” Theo explained. “It’s satisfying to see a frier or a grill at work.”

“I actually work for a factory,” Tim said. “Well, I’m the esquire for the factory, but I see all the machines at work all the time from my office.”

“What  factory ? ” Theo asked.

“Melanoff’s,” Tim answered. “Well, he’s my dad, adoptive dad.”

“Your dad is Commander  Melanoff ?” Theo asked.

“Yeah,” Tim laughed. “It’s weird, I know.”

“Do you get candy whenever you want ?” Theo asked in complete awe.

“All employees are allowed to take a box of candy home once a month,” Tim said.

“Do you think . . . I’d be able to work there ?” Theo asked.

“Eventually, sure,” Tim confirmed. “But, one step at a time, kid, you’re only sixteen.”

“Well, I’m emancipated.” Theo said. “I’ve been emancipated for a month.”

“Still, one goal at a time,” Tim urged. “Let’s focus on getting you to rehab first.”

“Then I can apply to  Melanoff’s ,” Theo added.

“Sure, kid, whatever you say,” Tim confirmed.

“I just want to get myself and Juliet out of the house,” Theo explained. “I can’t stand our parents. It always feels like we’re on opposing teams, like it’s me and Juliet against them all the time.”

“I know the feeling,” Tim empathized. “Before my siblings and I were adopted, it seemed like my siblings and I were never a priority to our birth parents.”

“I can’t stand my dad,” Theo claimed. “He has such a weird, over – compensating personality. The guy’s bald, can’t grow a mustache to save his life, and when he does, it’s only a few wispy hairs.”

Tim snickered and nodded, thinking back to his own biological father – how pathetic of a man he truly was. When he was a kid, he was terrified of his father, always scared of being thrown into a coal bin, suffocating due to the smoke and heat, having to tend to his own scraped knees, being deprived of food for days and almost weeks at a time . . . he wished that man was still alive today, because then he could see how amazing Tim succeeded in his life. He could see how great of a dad he was to Taffeta, how far he had gotten in college – it would be the ultimate ‘screw you’ to both of his birth parents.

“My birth father was the same way,” Tim agreed. “And my birth mother was constantly knitting, but my twin brothers had to share a sweater.”

“She didn’t make two sweaters ?” Theo asked. “Well, my mom was a painter, and she was far more focused on painting rather than taking care of us. She couldn’t paint when there was noise and Juliet was super into playing her saxophone, so she’d bang on the walls to get her to stop playing. She’d lose her mind, whining and crying ‘I can’t paint !!’.”

“My mom was the same way with her knitting,” Tim claimed. “’I can’t  knit !! Oh, I’m fretting !!’.”

“And then your dad would comfort her, before getting upset with you and your  siblings ? ” Theo asked.

“Yes !!” Tim exclaimed.

“ So you totally get it,” Theo realized. “You’re like me, but an adult !!”

“Well, hopefully this rehab trip works out for you, because you seem like a pretty good kid,” Tim claimed. “If you stay on a good path, stay in school, keep working on what the rehabilitation center teaches you - I’m sure you’ll be on your way to live a pretty good life, with your sister and family.”

“Maybe my schoolwork will benefit from this,” Theo contemplated. “My geometry teacher says I would be a lot better at all of my schoolwork if I applied myself more – I mean, I'm more of a  sculpter myself. I like working with clay and plaster.”

“I’ve always liked writing more than math, I took creative writing in school, and I was pretty good at it,” Tim claimed. “I found my true calling in Government and Economics, which made me go to law school, with my ex – wife. She became a lawyer and I became an esquire. Then when we divorced, it turns out she was already talking to the oldest son of Johnson’s dairy farm.”

“So you know the Johnson’s too ?” Theo asked.

“Their daughter’s my sister – in – law,” Tim clarified. “My younger brother married her, and they have a son together. They also run a dairy farm, but they don’t have as much business that her dad does.”

“What’s their company's name ?” Theo asked.

“P. And A.’s Dairy,” Tim answered. “Their butter’s hand churned, and they normally sell at farmer’s markets in New York – my brother helps around the farm, but he’s also a mechanic, and he has . . . another job.”

“Doesn’t her dad ever promote their  business ? ” Theo asked.

“And take away his business ?” Tim asked. “Sure, he’s her dad, but he’s also a pretty savvy business man.”

“That sucks,” Theo claimed. “I’m sure it would really help their business if their word got around.”

Tim thought to himself for a moment. Maybe if he convinced  Melanoff to promote A. and Patience’s farm, they would get business. They could switch from using Johnson’s Family Dairy in their chocolate products to using Patience and A.’s dairy products, and then, maybe people would start buying more from Patience and A. ?

“That’s not a bad idea,” Tim claimed.

“What is ?” Theo asked.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Tim excused. “I’m sure you’re hungry, and that nacho cheese isn’t going to fill you up. Let me buy you something before you head out.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Theo said.

“No, it’s my pleasure,” Tim reassured. “What do you want ?”

“Uhm . . . I’ll take the cheeseburger and a medium Angel Kiss Cola,” Theo said.

“You got it,” Tim confirmed.

He went back up to the counter, ordered, waited, and then returned with Theo’s order that the kid nearly inhaled at the sight of. It seemed like only five minutes and he was already halfway done with it.

“When’s the last time you ate ?” Tim chuckled.

“About a week ago, but even then, it was only a Pizza Pocket that was cold in the middle,” Theo claimed. “The microwave was ‘too loud’, according to my mom. Distracted her from her painting groove.”

“My biological parents would only feed us leftovers,” Tim said. “Most of the time they wouldn’t even leave leftovers for us, so my siblings would steal from them, and I’d get in trouble for it.”

“Your siblings never got in  trouble ? ” Theo asked.

“There was no way I was going to let them get punished,” Tim said. “For punishment, they’d shove us into our furnace room, and leave us there for god knows how long.”

“My parents would make us sit in our shed,” Theo sighed. “At least there were books in there, my dad wanted to be a writer at one point, but the career never took off because I was born.”

“My family comes from a long line of great people,” Tim said. “We were kings, knights, philosophers, aviators, adventurers – my parents never seemed to want to do anything with their lives.”

“I know the feeling,” Theo soothed. “My grandpa was a  five star chef that lived in France, then he retired in Switzerland – well, he’d call it ‘ Sveetzerlund ’, and make us laugh – but he eventually passed away because he had heart problems.”

“Wait, how is that  pronounced ? ” Tim asked.

“What ?”

“The place your grandpa retired in ?”

“Switzerland ?”

“Son of a bitch !!”

Theo jumped at Tim’s  exclaimation before he rose an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Tim apologized. “I just realized I lost a bet to a friend.”

“On the pronunciation of  Switzerland ? ” Theo asked.

“It’s a long story,” Tim claimed.

“Well, we still have a few hours to go on the road,” Theo said. “Maybe you could tell me on the way ?”

“Maybe,” Tim agreed. “We should get going, head to the bathrooms, get some snacks and drinks for the road before we have to sit through another two hours.”

“I’m cool with that,” Theo agreed.

“Awesome, I’m going to the bathroom, you go and pick out the snacks you want and wait for me by the register,” Tim said.

“Sounds like a plan,” Theo agreed.

Tim went to the bathroom as Theo stocked up on ranch flavored tortilla chips, chocolate bars, sour candy, and soda, before Tim returned and got a few waters and healthier snacks like trail mix, and granola bars, before they checked out at the counter.

Tim paid for gas as well before they went out to the station wagon and he  flled the tank before he joined Theo in the car.

Theo was scratching at his arms once again, before Tim gently grabbed his wrist.

“You’re going to make yourself bleed if you do that,” he claimed. “You’ll reopen your track marks and bleed all over the place.”

“It feels like there’s bugs under my skin,” Theo said. “And sometimes I sweat buckets almost all day.”

“It’s withdrawal symptoms,” Tim explained. “They’re a pain in the ass to put up with. When was the last time you used ?”

“Almost a week ago,” Theo claimed. “Last Tuesday.”

It was a Monday, so Theo was about a week clean, but it stays in your system for at the very least three days  ( Heroin’s one hell of a drug, or so he’s heard ), so he hasn’t exactly been sober – sober for very long. His withdrawal symptoms might be a little rough this entire trip.

“Do you ever listen to the  radio ? ” Tim asked.

“Not really, I just stream music from my phone, but my phone doesn’t work since I’ve been cut off,” Theo explained. “I listen to country – rock every once in  awhile , to calm myself down.”

“Well, you can turn the radio on and look for some country – rock, if you want,” Tim offered. “Shotgun  privilages .”

Theo turned the radio on, before he turned the knob to seek through stations, before he found a soft rock station, that was a little fuzzy, but still legible.

“I wish I could take Juliet with me,” Theo sighed.  ”I’d hate to leave her on her own, especially with my parents. I mean, she’s strong enough to make it on her own, but still . . . I worry about her.”

“I get that,” Tim agreed. “But think of it this way, you’re doing this for her. You’re getting sober and trying to get your life together so you guys can move out and live a better life than what you’re living right now. She’ll be there when you come back. Just, call her when you get there, and explain what’s going on. I’m sure she’ll come around eventually.”

“You think so ?” Theo asked.

“I know so,” Tim reassured.

He then started up the car, with a new friend in tow, as they both went back on the flat lands of road, all the way to a place where they could start their lives again, and make themselves better for both everyone around them, and more importantly, themselves.


	25. Ethereal Ebullience

◜ ◝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 - 𝔽𝕚𝕧𝕖 :

𝔼𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝔼𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖

◟ ◞

“Wow, this place is big !!” Taffeta exclaimed.

“Yes, it’s really big, Taffeta,” Jane agreed. “But that means you have to stay very, very close to me, because there’s a lot of people in there, and you can get lost very easy.”

She wanted to cringe as she felt like she was starting to sound like Tim, back when they were taking to  Melanoff’s with Ruth . . . she missed him so much, and it had only been two weeks since he’d left. They parked in the parking space they were assigned to keep the car while they were up in Portland, before they got out of the car. Jane helped Taffeta out of the car. They both exited the car and opened the trunk, before Jane gave Taffeta her star printed carry – on backpack, and matching rolling bag that had her I.D tag. Jane pulled out her carry – on as well as her matching bag, both being a sleek black.

Jane reached down and held Taffeta’s hand, before they both made their way to the shuttle bus that would drive them across the parking lot and to the giant airport. They boarded the airport shuttle bus and sat down on the first available seat.

She held Taffeta close to herself, because for some  reason . . . the people around them all seemed shady and suspicious. Just a few years ago, Jane wouldn’t have cared about her surroundings – she wouldn’t have cared if guys were looking at her in leggings and a tank top and whistled or catcalled, she wouldn’t have cared if women sneered and judged her for how she looked, but the thought of gross people eying Taffeta like fresh meat, or judging her perfect little girl for having crutches.

It felt like every stare was an attack or a threat.

Her heart was fast, and she had a protective grip on Taffeta, as Taffeta held a stuffed rabbit  ( she left her moth back home to protect her other stuffed  animals ) . Taffeta looked around the bus and checked around to see whatever she could. She looked at the greasy, eighties themed bus seats, with the various little squiggles and shapes on the blue base, and out the windows at the cars that seemed to be every shade on the rainbow.

“Look momma, there was stickers that looked like a little stick people family,” Taffeta pointed out. “That family had a momma, poppa, three kids, and two dogs.”

“Oh, how nice,” Jane said. “Poppa would love something like that.”

“Do you think that he’s going to be happy to see  us ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Of course, he will be,” Jane soothed.  ”He probably misses us as much as we miss him.”

“I brought my drawing book,” Taffeta claimed. “I want to show him my drawings I made while he’s been gone. I hope he likes them.”

“I’m sure he will,” Jane reassured. “He’s probably missed seeing all of your drawings.”

“Maybe he could put a few of my drawings up in his room,” Taffeta suggested. “Like how we brought Uncle B. a balloon so he could have something nice to look at in his room.”

“I’m sure he’ll love that,” Jane agreed. “Oh, we’re here.”

Jane and Taffeta filed out with the rest of the people from the shuttle bus as they went inside the entrance of the airport. They stood in the enclosed line and waited for it to be their turn to show that they had previously pad for their ticket on the internet, and all they needed was a physical copy. 

Then they had to go into the security line, so their bags could get checked, and handled.

“This is always my least favorite part,” Jane claimed.

“Why’s that,  momma ? ” Taffeta asked.

Well, when Jane, Nikki, and Andrea went to the airport for spring break, they had to wait for Andrea to get a complete pat down, her bag was searched, and they had to run her through the metal  dectector not once, but three separate times, because they thought she was ‘acting suspicious’, even though she wasn’t acting any differently than she normally would.

According to Andrea, it was because she looked more like her Afghan mother than she did her white father, and due to looking Middle Eastern, they instantly deemed her suspicious, because ever since the Nine – Eleven attacks, people were paranoid that people like herself were suicide bombers.

To Jane, it made no sense, because Andrea obviously wasn’t a suicide bomber – she was wearing Luna Leggings and round glasses, for crying out loud.

That was Jane’s first lesson in stereotyping and racism.

“Sometimes, it just takes forever,” Jane excused.

Taffeta wasn’t racist, she didn’t even know what racism was. She got along with most everyone, regardless of what they looked like. Racism is a thing that’s taught, and Jane wasn’t going to teach Taffeta about it and how bad it is until the timing is right.

“So, you take a bucket, and you put all the metal things you have inside of the bucket,” Jane instructed. “ So your backpack.”

“I’ll put my crutches in there too,” Taffeta said.

“Are you sure you can walk through the metal detector without  them ? ” Jane asked.

“Yeah, I can walk a little bit,” Taffeta reassured.

She unbuckled her crutches from her arms, before she put them in the tray.

Jane took off her earrings, and put her carry – on, phone, and shoes into the tray, while Taffeta copied her by putting her own shoes in her own tray.

Taffeta was the first to walk through the metal detector, and thankfully, nothing went off.

Jane went through the metal detector, and one of the seven went off, which caused Taffeta to jump, before they both looked around. Thankfully, there would be no searches through anyone’s bags or bodies, because it was a tiny, old lady that forgot to put her purse in the metal detector and went through without anyone noticing. The old lady received a gentle scolding, before she went back through without her purse and everything went back to business as usual.

Once they were out of security, they went back to where the gates were and sat down close to their gate. It wasn’t quite time for them to get on the plane . . . to be quite honest, they still had a good few hours to go before they had to load onto the plane.

“How long until the plane gets here ?” Taffeta asked.

“A few hours,” Jane answered.

Taffeta looked out the giant window to see a plane with something foreign written on the side, as well as a big white flag with a red circle in the middle.

“But a plane just got here,” Taffeta pointed out. "Can’t we just go on that plane ?”

“All the planes have different routes,” Jane explained. “That one, for example, came from Japan, and they might have to fly back to Japan to pick up more passengers, and the people that get onto that plane are probably going back with them to Japan.”

“Can’t they stop in Portland and drop us off there ?” Taffeta asked.

“Unfortunately not,” Jane said. “If they run behind schedule, the people that are supposed to be in Japan or the people getting picked up from Japan run behind, and some people have places to be and have to be places on time. A plane can’t stop for just two people and then get back on schedule, right ?”

“I guess so,” Taffeta sighed. “Stinks that we have to wait for our plane.”

“Well, it’ll only be a few hours,” Jane reassured. “Before you know it, we’ll be in the plane and on our way to Portland.”

“What’s Portland like ?” Taffeta asked.

“I’m not sure, I’ve never been,” Jane answered. “The furthest I’ve really gone is probably to New Jersey. Grandpop didn’t always have time  t take trips since he runs a business, and granny always liked when we would do things together as a family, so vacations weren’t a big thing for us growing up. Most of my traveling done has been in my twenties or in high school.”

“What other places have you gone to ?” Taffeta asked.

“Well, for spring break my senior year of high school, I went to Laguna Beach in California,” Jane said. “I went with my two best friends back in high school, we stayed on the beach almost the entire time. They threw a party that they invited a bunch of cute boys to.”

Taffeta gagged at the idea of being in the house with a bunch of boys.

“Yeah, I know,” Jane agreed. “I wasn’t a huge fan of all the boys either. I stayed in the guest house and talked to your poppa almost all night until I managed to fall asleep. It was better talking to him, than one of those boys that we barely even knew.”

“Did anyone’s parents get mad at you guys for having a bunch of boys over at  night ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Nobody had their parents there, it was just me and them,” Jane explained. “It wasn’t really responsible, but it also wasn’t my idea. I didn’t have much fun that night, they were really loud.”

“Did you have fun at all during the  trip ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Well, of course I did,” Jane reasoned. “We went and swam at the beach, we had really good shaved ice that we put cream in, and we all learned how to surfed. My friend, Andrea fell over a few times, but at least she had a super helpful surfing instructor.”

“I wish I knew how to surf,” Taffeta said.

“I don’t really remember how,” Jane admitted. “We didn’t surf any big waves, since we were beginners, but it was still really fun surfing the little waves that we surfed. We were going to go snorkeling too, but it rained that day so we stayed up on the boardwalk.”

“Maybe one day, I can take a big trip with Anya and Phoebe somewhere really far away,” Taffeta claimed. “Maybe we could go to Laguna Beach.”

“You can go wherever you want when you’re old enough,” Jane reassured. “As long as you call us and let us know that you’re safe.”

“Of course, I will, momma,” Taffeta agreed. “I’ll tell you all about the trip when I call you and poppa.”

“We’ll love to hear about it,” Jane claimed.

“Did poppa take any really big trips ?” Taffeta asked.

“That’s something you’ll have to ask him when we get to Portland,” Jane said. “But your Uncle B. took a year of college abroad, so he took some huge trips – he's probably taken the most trips out of all of us. He’s been to Japan, Bora Bora, Houston, the U.K. It’s like he's been around the world.”

“Wow, he’s probably seen a lot of things,” Taffeta gasped.

“He definitely has,” Jane claimed. “You could ask him about it. He's collected keychains from everywhere he’s been and he keeps them in a shoebox.”

“I should start a collection of things,” Taffeta pondered. ”I don’t know what yet.”

“Think of it this way,” Jane started. “He wasn’t collecting  keychains, he was collecting memories. You could always just collect little things that make you happy, whether they be pictures, magazine clippings, cool rocks, bottle caps – and then you can put them in a little box of your own, so one day, you can look back and see all the memories you’ve made over the years.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Taffeta agreed. “Maybe I might find things in Portland to start my collection.”

“That’s a great place to start,” Jane affirmed. “This is one of your first big trips, you’re going all the way up to Maine, you’ve never been that far before.”

“Yeah !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “Maybe I can find a keychain there, or a cool rock.”

“Maybe,” Jane agreed. “We have a few things planned while we’re up there for the weekend – poppa says that he’s looked up a few things that we can do. They have their boardwalk, a mall, and a few museums, like Uncle B. works at.”

“What does he do there ?” Taffeta asked.

“He’s an art curator,” Jane answered. “He’s the one that decides what they can have in the museum, like what kind of paintings and sculptures, and he also looks for new art and artist for their work to be put on display in the museum – which is why he gets to go on some trips all the way across the states to art shows so he can find new art to put in the museum.”

“That sounds really cool,” Taffeta claimed. “ So he’s the one that puts the cool paintings in the museum ?”

“He picks out the paintings, yes,” Jane clarified. “It’s because he knows a lot about paintings. He went to college for a pretty long time because he likes artwork, and then he found a job that helped him move into a better house than what he was living in.”

“Is that why we live in a big house ?” Taffeta asked.

“Well, your poppa went to college for almost eight years to get a degree, and I started my own business, so technically, yes,” Jane said. “You can move into a big house too, if you work hard at what you want to do in life.”

“How much money do  rockstars make ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Now that depends, because some  rockstars make a whole lot of money, while some others only make a little bit, there isn’t a set salary for that job,” Jane explained. “ It kind of depends on how lucky you are with the job, but who  knows ? You might be a very talented rockstar.”

“What if I’m  not ? ” Taffeta asked.

“It can always be a side job,” Jane reasoned. “You could work a regular job during the week, but play music on the weekends, then you’ll be working a steady job, with a little bit of extra money on the side.”

“ But, what if I want to play music all the time, but I don’t make a lot of money ?” Taffeta asked. 

“In my opinion, it’s always good to have something to fall back on, a second plan,” Jane encouraged. “I knew that I could find another job or go to college if my business didn’t work out – maybe dual major in music and education to be a music teacher, because I love music.”

“I like music too,” Taffeta agreed. “That’s why I want to be a rockstar.”

“And I’m sure if you, Anya, and Phoebe stick to it, you will all be great  rockstars someday,” Jane insisted. “It’s amazing seeing that you have a few things in common with me. Maybe you’ll do things I never could.”

“Your life’s not over yet, momma,” Taffeta reminded. “You can still do a lot with your  life, you’re not going to die tomorrow.”

Well, no days are a guarantee. Maybe that plane might crash, but Jane was refusing to think about what could potentially go wrong during this trip, because the fact that Taffeta was in such a large space, with so many people . . . strangers . . . was enough to put Jane on edge and keep her in a ball of nerves state. She just wanted to focus on the fact that this is Taffeta’s first big trip and that she’s going to get to see Tim soon, after being separated for two whole weeks  ( Yes , she was aware that didn’t seem like a lot of time, but for the past five years she was used to coming home and being with him. ).

“Maybe,” Jane trailed off for a moment. “ But, I’d rather sit here and support you. You need someone there to support you. It’s my job to do that now.”

“But, can’t you support me and do things you want to ?” Taffeta asked. “One day, I’m going to grow up and then it’s just going to be you and poppa again.”

Jane went quiet again, before she acted like she didn’t hear what Taffeta said. It was hard to think about the next, next chapter of her life, because she was so used to this chapter – herself, Tim, and Taffeta. She’d worked so hard to get to this point, and they were still  working.on it. This was something she never knew she’d need this much, and in a few years it was going to be over.

“Oh, look,” she excused. “A little bakery. How does a cinnamon roll  sound ? Airport cinnamon rolls are the absolute best.”

“ Really ? ” Taffeta asked.

“Right before or right after a flight, they’re one of the best snacks,” Jane claimed. “They’re warm, and gooey, full of cinnamon and sugar – sometimes they have raisins or chocolate chips.”

“Will someone take our  seats ? ” Taffeta asked.

“They might,” Jane answered. “But there’s plenty of other seats, we can always find a new one.”

“Okay, momma,” Taffeta agreed.

They picked up their bags before they went to the small bakery, where Jane ordered them both cinnamon rolls, and they sat at a little table, where they pulled apart their cinnamon rolls.

“They’re sticky,” Taffeta pointed out.

She showed Jane her greasy, stuck together fingers as she grimaced at the feeling.

“We can get some wet wipes when we’re done,” Jane soothed. “But come on, dig in. Aren’t they really good ?”

“Yeah,” Taffeta sighed. “They’re just really messy, and I don’t want to get my jacket all sticky.”

“It can get washed,” Jane reassured. “Savor the moment.”

Taffeta sucked on her fingers and licked the frosting off, before she pulled off more pieces of her cinnamon roll so she could eat it. It was pretty good; gooey, sweet frosting, flaky, warm pastry bread, the smell of comfy, fragrant cinnamon, melted pockets of chocolate chips. It was a nice treat before a flight.

“Good, isn’t  it ? ” Jane asked again.

“It has chocolate chips,” Taffeta claimed.

“Mine has raisins,” Jane claimed. “They’re so juicy and warm. It adds another flavor to the sweetness. Well, it’s still sweet, but it’s a fruity sweet.”

“Fruity  sweet ? ” Taffeta inquired.

“Like, you know how chocolate cake is sweet, but apples are also  sweet ? ” Jane asked.

“Yeah, kind of,” Taffeta agreed.

“It’s like, you know – picture this,” Jane started. “An apple is like swinging on a tire swing outside, while the sun starts to set. You’re in overalls, and there’s a soft breeze. You smell the trees and the fresh air. A chocolate cake is like you’re awake at night, and surrounded by friends, while you watch movies. You’re in cozy pajamas, and slippers. It’s warm, and you’re covered in blankets.”

“Oh ?” Taffeta asked.

“They’re both great, and they both make the same feelings,” Jane explained. “But both are different.”

“Oh !!” Taffeta exclaimed. “I see now !!”

“Yeah,  see ? ” Jane asked.

“So, they both are sweet and both make people happy,” Jane finished.

“Yeah,” Taffeta agreed. “Maybe we can bring poppa a cinnamon roll – I don’t know if he’s had any since he drove all the way up to Portland.”

“Maybe we could find a place that makes amazing cinnamon rolls up there,” Jane suggested. “One that’s not in an airport, because people need tickets to get in, and poppa isn’t ready to come home just yet.”

“When will he be able to come home ?” Taffeta asked. “I miss when he used to read me bedtime stories in different voices.”

“Am I too  boring ? ” Jane asked, in mock offence.

“No !!” Taffeta giggled. “It’s just . . . I miss his voices. He used to do the witch in ‘Hansel and Gretel’, and it was really funny.”

Jane missed his voices too. She missed listening to him make different voices for the different characters, and listening to Taffeta giggled and laugh at how silly it all was. She missed feeling his arms hug her from behind, and his soft breath against her head, with the whisper of a soft ‘Good morning, momma’. She missed feeling his hands interlocked with her own at night. She missed his dumb dad joke aprons, and his cheesiness when he’s  make snickeringly , stupid puns and jokes. She missed everything about him.

She poked Taffeta in her nose and gave her a smile, before putting on a fake witch voice.

“Is this not good enough, little  girl ? ” she asked.

Taffeta squealed and giggled before she hid her nose from Jane as she beamed from ear to ear.

“Momma !!” she squealed.

Jane let off a giggle, before she noticed that she and Taffeta were basically done with their  cinnamon rolls.

“Do you want to wash your fingers off ?” Jane asked.

“Yeah, I still don’t want sticky fingers,” Taffeta claimed.

“Let’s go,” she instructed. “Then we can get some wet wipes to get all the frosting off our fingers so we don’t get our gross, sticky frosting fingers everywhere.”

Taffeta giggled and held Jane’s hand as they picked up their cinnamon rolls wrappers and took them to the trashcan, where there was a basket of individually packaged wet wipes.

Jane took two wet wipes out of the basket and opened up the packaged wet wipes, before she handed one to Taffeta so they could both wipe their hands and get the stickiness off before they went back to find another seat, since another family took the seats they sat in before they got their cinnamon rolls.

Taffeta looked out the window to see another plane touch down, but she saw another flag on it that wasn’t their country, so she knew that plane was also not their plane. She wrapped her arms around Jane’s  arm,before she propped her head up on Jane’s arm and yawned.

“Do you know when our plane’s going to get  here ? ” Taffeta asked.

“About another hour,” Jane answered. “You can take a nap if you want. You woke up really early this morning. I’m sure you have to be a little sleepy.”

“You’ll wake me up when the plane gets here,  right ? ” Taffeta asked.

“I’ll make sure you’re awake,” Jane comforted.

Taffeta nodded, before she shut her eyes and leaned against Jane.

Jane put her hand on the side of Taffeta’s face, as she used her thumb to stroke her baby’s cheek.

For the first time that day, Jane felt tranquil. There was no rush to get anywhere, and she simply had time to just sit back and relax. She was tired of her panicked ‘what if’s, and worrying about what was going to come next, so she too a moment to simply think about the positives in their lives. Tim was getting better, and Taffeta was doing well. Her life was slowly finding its footing again. 

She pulled Taffeta into her lap and allowed her to cozy up on her chest as she rested her chin atop Taffeta’s head. She looked out the window at the planes, and smiled at the comfort of knowing that those planes would take them to a better tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❇ || Howdy guys !! Another end to another adventure, but please, don't worry !! There's still so much more I have planned !! You can always keep up with my progress @mommajaneandpoppatimau on Tumblr !! Thank you lovely people for reading and sticking around this long !! 💖🎀🌻


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